Game Grumps 2015 Playthrough

It’s blood-borne blood-borne now.

I know what you’re thinking.

What this game’s really hard.

Yes, and cheese is delicious, and that’s what I was thinking Now I know what you’re thinking I? Don’t know if I put socks on today.

I did I’m looking at my feet right now, okay This is a game ps4.

God.

This is beautiful.

It’s made by the creator of Dark Souls These are spoilers Really, I mean, I guess calling them spoilers.

That’s right.

Maybe it’s friendly Yeah, I think he wants to just say hi.

Yeah, he wants to say hi from the inside hello How you doing? Holy crap okay, but born yeah, awesome.

Yeah, it is.

Let’s do it trust me it is The graphics aren’t quite as good as Mario 64 we apologize for that Do you want to try playstation plus iron you’ll not be able to use this feature? Until you join playstation what feature playing the game? Not able to verify What you can’t play this game without playstation plus no no you can’t play it online Yeah, but I want to play it online.

Oh you do then I get notes oh Yeah, whatever.

I’ll do it later fine.

All right.

This is this is fun.

I don’t want him to be invisible It’s hard to see yeah, so I’ll make it like this ish Okay These are all good.

I love it Welcome to blood-borne first.

Tell me your preferences on whether or not you like the the right stick to be a camera Well, you’ve come to the right place Thank you Hey alright Okay Go on it’s a never-ending story But it out at it out at the top begin with what you’re the one talking With a bit of yarn and blood of your own really how do you know? first you Yes, are his eyes missing, or you just yeah, they’re not there, okay? Just making sure I don’t need a contract Dan.

Why would you bother looking at me? Oh? I gotta make you got no eyes.

Oh sick.

Okay, so my name is gonna be You’re on the right track eat uh and then last name will be And I want to be milk toast I want to have a Troubled childhood, okay, I mean it could No toast sounds delicious.

Well.

That’s just like average attributes right.

Oh, I see but Bless you I want to have high endurance.

What about a noble sky on ooh lone survivor.

That’s pretty good So that’s actually really good.

You know what I might do that I’m gonna do that what the fuck is it.

I think it’s either from Archer or Frisky dingo, but like somebody’s saying something and out of nowhere like this douchey marketing guy walks in he’s like oh, man That’s exactly the kind of forward-thinking.

We love over at Sion.

Hi Jim Edwards sign market So Fucking funny oh, that’s cool right yeah, very cool.

Oh shit.

I fucked it up dang it You probably look better with two matching eyes nah.

Okay cool.

The street blue go cyborg style done all right Let’s give her a mark Let’s give her like a little like scar or something yeah Those aren’t little dots I scar Oh Dots ish yeah, give her the John Lennon glasses.

Oh, yeah Okay, okay, uh I like these yeah, those are nice bifocals Yeah, color of the glasses gosh.

She’s like a sexy librarian Can I help you find a book? In ancient times there’s like a dude eating your face like help me Do you need a book and help to not get people to eat your feet hold on let me check the bibliography Bibliography yeah, all right.

This is good.

You can’t even see her hair when you’re playing so yay done I can’t see that sweet clavicle either when she’s wearing all those layers turn Okay, cool finish Yes, this is my contract finalized a contract all right.

We’re playing blood-borne.

You’re a hot chick sign here Cool glasses check noted those are actually extra.

It’s like guacamole at Chipotle.

Oh Fucking how dare they charge extra.

I don’t know yeah, they’re avocados did the cheapest single time well It’s it’s like I don’t want to sit through the rigmarole of like it’s extra So I’m just like I know it’s extra and then it makes me sound douchey.

You know like I’ll have guacamole I know it’s extra You always do sad douchey whatever you know like the place a little too Well, and you’re trying to help them by being really yeah your order like when I go to Panera I’m like of a turkey playing with Apple on the side and a large ice-cream tea and no need to do the thing you guys Not a baguette please yeah, yeah Transfusion but then I’ll lose the power as an edge of tomorrow reference.

Oh god.

If you’ve never seen that movie oh Oh, he’s just got bandages over his eyes.

He might still have eyes.

They’re probably not looking good I Just remembered a funny joke my son.

Yeah, I just it was a poop joke.

I read your name So funny no man, did we just leave the door open for this being like it was all a dream like one of those plots Oh, no, I don’t know good.

This guy’s just gone, and now there’s a blood demons.

I hate this stuff.

Yeah, so so It’s going on Here he comes You guys sweetest little puppy, and it’s like press X to throw bone oh No oh oh he got flamed id oh Oh that poor lichen trope yeah, that’s what happens when you don’t stick to your dry diet Start eating that wet food.

You’re gonna have horrible diarrhea.

Yeah.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hello.

Who are you little funny fella? My name’s Steven! And I’m Cheryl! Oh god.

Oh, oh well.

This is relaxing Oh, and I do not this is why I don’t like sleeping on my back cuz I have dreams like this We’re like things are coming over me Well, they’re gonna come over you one way or another no matter how you lay.

Oh, I know if I’m fetal I don’t have the dreams Yeah, yeah, I’m nice and fetal.

I’m in the full fetal position.

You know it full fetal posish Yeah, some sweet posish.

Okay, so we just gonna gloss over that weird like gross groping session.

We just received.

Yeah, it’s fine Everything’s fine.

I forget if there’s items in here So I have played this to preface people I’ve been playing this for a long time To assuage the fears of anyone who saw this in the thumbnail was like oh god.

No Yes, I’ve been playing it for quite a while so cool.

I should be okay at it Oh Okay, where’s uh oh These are all tutorials.

Okay.

Yeah, so those little guys that were falling over.

Oh, yeah, they’re like hey, what’s up? Hi you want my skull hello hello, here’s some tips here’s some tips here’s some tips So they’re friendly those little guys yeah, they’re they’re helping you out get the fuck out of here totally nice Whoa not see that coming all right, so there’s a lake like and throw up over there Is that good? Well? He is definitely going to kill the shit out of me.

Oh Um is that good? I don’t know how I can’t Should have Should have grabbed a sword in retrospect.

I wonder if I could just like run by him.

Oh, yeah, look at you So see ya see ya I’m out II yeah Goodbye Whoever that like can’t throw up was eating was probably like he probably saw you and I was like oh my last hope Come here, I’ll punch you with my three three damage fists damn Stun your ass okay fuck well This is a really tough guy to face in the room you woke up in oh, yeah Come on.

Come at me come at me remember.

You sure you want to come at me.

Well.

He’s vulnerable Come on baby come on baby.

Oh god damn dude.

This is crazy town.

I’m gonna fucking hit him in the taint Him in his gross like can’t hide oh No no no that’s it for me.

Oh, okay? well This was the finale.

I hope you all enjoyed our playthrough That was supposed to happen really yeah Fuck there’s no I’m born.

I’m fucking I tried but Try as I may I’m sure you can somebody out there who can that’s part of the plot to die yeah, then you go to hunters dream It’s so beautiful here.

Oh, it’s so glorious and beautiful Hey Hey Wow look at that oh my god, it’s beautiful come into focus, please He’s world world how are my butt buckles looking are they are they tight? I love butt buckles me too didn’t realize I did until just now, but yeah, I am on board Sup doll hello little friends Hey guys Hi the messages offer you a trick weapon all right.

I’m gonna go with the sock lever So I have three options these three, but I know the sock lever, so I’m gonna use it.

Okay cool That was the one from the intro yeah We’re dicing up the dog in the alleyway.

Yes, actually okay.

That is that looked cool Oops yeah, we go this motherfucker gives me a gun and I’m gonna go with the motherfucking blunderbuss You Hear the moaning and you’re like Please stop oh you’re gonna talk to him.

Yeah, I got a notebook Okay, take a little sit.

Yeah, just get the notebook.

I guess let me tell you something I never pick up a book unless I sit fully Indian style and Meditate for a hot minute first all right this call look at the bath this cutie.

I don’t need echoes though, so All right so back to the world roll it large Let’s do it now.

I’m gonna kick the fuck out of this lycanthrope.

Oh, yeah, yeah, he’s gonna get so dead Oh god.

Oh god.

Oh, okay, okay? Oh fuck him I just have to dance Oh, wait take a good look at the corpse.

Let me just see if it’s the dude oh I can’t really tell it’s fairly difficult to recognize yeah I’m gonna say probably not just just sucks for that guy.

I guess he’ll be he’s fine.

All right.

I’m outie.

I’m outie I forgot what’s out here are there enemies out here what I mean great like from a design standpoint What a great idea to show how impossible it is to fight these things without your weapons And then illustrate how badass your weapons are well.

You would still have a problem I had a problem the first time I fought him with weapons really I just know how to fight okay cool So cuz I was like um.

I don’t know Oh, and he’s just like raw, and I’m like ah and I just hit buttons Please stop please stop Others an item down here.

Oh, yeah, so this is Yarnham.

It’s a beautiful town as you can see oh, it is lovely It’s filled with ancient architecture of a bridge Possible nuclear fallout drifting down from the sky.

Yeah, there’s there’s some kind of sickness I don’t know about that that Has taken over the town and all these people are infected with it.

I guess oh sir Excuse me.

Hi I’m looking for Avon Road Do you know where Avon is? Whoa whoa, okay? Um it’s avo n.

Do you know where I can find the Galleria? I’m I’m looking for a new pair of sneaks.

Yeah uh new kicks soo soo that’d be awesome You just interact with all the people like they’re normal sir.

I’m looking for a Jamba juice I’m in the mood for a razzmatazz whoa I’m gonna need a protein pump.

Yeah, is there is there a Jamba juice around here that does protein pumps.

Yeah Yeah, I’m gonna need to gonna need that vitamin C booster Having kind of a slow day.

You know what I’m saying? Whoa.

Oh God Vitamin C not vitamin C Not vitamin K for kill Vitamin oh god The lamp now transports you back to under stream, so you’re just going from lamp to lamp really okay? That’s pretty much.

Oh, I see and there’s people like they’re like Oh, yeah, yep, and No, and you’ve got poo on your chin and What the fuck is wrong with your eyes? Looks like a goddamn Lisa Frank folder I don’t care.

I don’t care.

I don’t care if you had a chance to change Your feet would you if you had the chance to change your feet? What size would you choose wait? Was he just in indoors there? Yeah, so there’s like all these people that are like trying to Save themselves from the sickness that has taken over this land.

Oh, so they’re just staying inside.

I am a hunter I come from a different part of the land.

What is he like? It’s so nice to have someone to talk to oh, okay? Is he wrong so lonely no hello Anybody yeah, go Power Rangers Do good beat the opponent yeah, it’s a But they’re oh dude.

He’s just trying to chop up wood.

Shh, whatever Whatever he can chop up all the wood he wants, but I’m gonna chop him up He’ll make a nice fire to welcome the new stranger into town and to provide for my family Who’s in a very tough spot right now? We’re running around the town of yeah, yeah harden them.

Yeah, it’s a pretty cool town Yeah, good guys trying to kill me.

No biggie.

No biggie smalls.

It’s like fucking downtown, New York in 1982 I wish It’s not pretty.

I would love if like one of these kinds of games was themed around something like like now Oh, it’s like demons.

They’re the the soul series Dark Souls Demon’s Souls.

They were all um.

Oh he sees me Sir hello sir come on up Yeah, I like that no one else like hears him.

Oh, yeah, they’re they’re they’re stupid.

Yeah, they don’t know what’s going on All right come on up come on up.

Maybe there was a fun.

Hi Yeah, it’s a it’s how they greet people in this town of Yarnham.

Oh Yeah, fuck you wow piece of garbage wow yeah, I love how floppy everyone gets after they die It’s just how it works man.

It’s the euphoria engine Can you please push them down the stairs afterwards so I can watch them go fubba fubba fubba? Oh god, you’ll see plenty of hilarious physics based things in this game sweet that opens the door What the hell is that the name of that YouTube thing going to the store? That’s a classic yeah, I love shaky bodies down hit him over here, I think there might be oh don’t don’t oh come on Do you need a letter opened? I’ve got a tool for it.

It’s going to be large.

Oh Letter got shredded.

Oh I’m not very good at this I Try my best okay follow me Okay, so this guy motherfuckers like I’m dead.

Oh Sucks to be you bro.

Sweet hat though.

Yeah.

He’s got a nice hat.

Yeah to fry.

Can you steal any other stuff nice hat? Yeah, that’s what I’ve been doing.

Oh neat.

There’s a guy around the corner for him, dude You know this place very well, dude.

It’s you have to Really this whole game is about backtracking every single person here has murdered you at one point in your first playthrough Oh my god.

Yes, okay, so that door.

I just opened or a while back that Is it that door? I just opened not just but That door, I just opened three hours ago.

Yeah That is That’s like the key to this game right so like this game is all about looping back on itself, okay? So like that door.

I opened was actually the door like right where I spawned So that I can I can get here more quickly instead of going up that fucking ladder.

Oh interesting.

Yeah, hey guys How about a nice big can of fuck you? Oh, yeah, that’s a six-pack Plenty of delicious fuck for everybody the two-liter bottle comes free with your pizza.

Oh, that’s nice.

Yeah, so it is it is nice It’s it’s a cheap.

It’s the best deal along with stabby bread that they offer Stabby bread yeah, um fucking stabby sometimes.

I just get it for the stabby bread.

Yeah, I don’t even get the fucking pizza I’ve I’ve told you about this my My pension for putting an extra lilt in my voice when I order crazy bread over the phone.

Yeah, I think so Crazy bread yeah, yeah, I’ll take two plain pies actually give me one half pepperoni and some crazy bread I’m feeling it tonight Oh geez yeah, sorry I had to send your most unarmed delivery man Don’t inform him of the situation that’s happening right now.

Oh that was a good wind-up.

Yeah, oh dude It’s the best when you get him from behind and sneak attack.

Yeah That is a very stabby pitchfork he’s got that I hate the pitchfork guys.

They’re the worst.

It’s so so many like like tines on that pitchfork to Like yeah, like there’s like six six points in which to stab come here, baby.

Come here, baby I’m used to the three tined forks come on, baby.

Come on, baby.

Come on.

Come on get over here Oh bring y’all bring y’all sword and y’all flame shoot now.

Yeah, yeah, they got guns.

Oh hell.

Yeah, dude In the world of blood-borne nothing is sacred.

Is it a blood-borne blunderbuss? Yeah, I have a blunderbuss.

Do you yeah check it out Watch this.

Hold on get this guy.

Yeah, nice shield.

Oh shit.

Hold on.

Yeah Yeah, yeah, the wooden shield is pretty pathetic and watch out.

I got dude shooting at you.

Oh, there’s two guys shooting at you And How ow ow it stop it stop it stop it you’re hurting me Ellie’s Like colossus Just falls over Wow That uh, thanks for the bullets brother.

Yeah, that would shield did not prove to be very Effective so this motherfucker is gonna get motherfucking.

Oh nice shot dick Point blank I can do this.

Oh, who’s a puppy? Who’s a dead puppy? Oh, oh, you’re a dippy once you kill that guy.

I want to take it out.

She ate this guy Yeah, I want to take a quick look at the thing in the middle of the street.

Oh sure the burning pyre It is a pyre.

Yeah higher like Nice you Oh, it wasn’t me.

I think that was another guy I swear Yes, whoa Like a lycanthrope It definitely is getting burned.

Yeah Excuse me, sir, which way to the Jamba juice to the out to the left.

Oh that way.

Okay Thank you my pumps on Mango madness here I come when they put peanut butter in my banana.

Oh, it’s so good I assume you mean your smoothie Yes, not injecting peanut butter directly inside your banana though.

That would be delicious.

It would be super good hmm Okay, so here.

I am in the next area this took me maybe 40 tries three hours to get So now I’m good well, I know everything that’s here, so I can just get oh is there a party in there Yeah, they’re just having fun check it.

I don’t reckon you’re from around here Did the blood-stained clothes give you an indication of that? So let me in maybe okay Anyway who spiked the punch wow what a dick oh yeah, none of them will let you in oh yeah, they’re all assholes In blood-borne everyone’s an asshole What do you think this is the purge? That movie that no one saw Sir the fucker hey motherfucker hey, oh, we saw me ah Come on do your little fucking stupor.

Oh dumbass combo whoa oh? Boy, that’s an awkward moment after you miss The yee and nope too far damn Yeah, come on baby.

God.

This is fucking rad to watch yeah Come on.

Come here.

Come here.

Come here.

If I was playing.

I’d be having a heart attack right now.

I Certainly was the first time I saw this guy got him.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Thank you.

They have a cave troll Okay, Lord of the Rings reference.

I’m sorry.

I don’t know it I’m gonna keep making them until you watch the movie.

Okay, great.

I got a torch Like when you can’t come and he gets the stanky leg I love moving around cuz like even though he’s like a giant with fucking he’s probably weighs a ton.

I’m just like Yeah Yeah, sometimes they jitter on their own a little twitch.

Oh, yeah, he’s got it right now.

He’s got the stanky arm oh Creepy I love it, and I’m gonna kill these motherfucking crows over here, okay, yo They think they got game, but you know what they ain’t got game They’re terrifying.

Oh, yeah, actually ow stop their game is the worst Fucking hate these things they hide because they’re they’re black so like they hide in the shadows and stuff And they just fucking they just fucking jump out at you from the side whoa Thank you.

Yeah, and they’re and they’re on the ground that was always like in any zombie thing That was always the worst one like the zombies that like are like lying on the ground and like bite someone’s ankle And then they’re fucked because they just weren’t weren’t watching where they were stepping.

I hated that I was like 100% dog I know exactly what you saying I know the gospel you spittin, bro Thank this dog.

You know I’m starting to think you’re being a little facetious with me.

No dude I know exactly we’re talking about no, bro.

I totally get a spit that you’re flapping Boy you know what no matter.

How serious a game is it’s always one Full lead sound effect away from being silly like every time you hit.

It’s just like man And we are just dealing with a totally different game That’s right fucker.

You think I’m wearing a slicker.

Nope.

There’s a normal woolen hood that’s soaked with the blood of your friends fuck yourself Dude, that’s why I want a fucking game like this to be like super colorful like a super difficult game I know I’m not making it look difficult.

This is your first time watching it, and I’m just like Tearing ass yeah shit, but I’m sure it’s hard.

It’s very hard Whoa look at that clock tower in the distance That one that is beautiful with the the werewolves just like walking along the bridge.

I don’t see them I’m glad before this town got taken over by a horrifying wasting disease.

They had time to carve some really depressing statues.

Oh Yeah, they’re Just in agony.

There is some crazy despair here Where’s the Jamba juice? And the other one’s like I told you they closed I Need to find another motherfucking save point cuz fuck this shit You know what you know what this reminds me of? I’ve taken you to Dapper cadaver right.

Yeah, I love that place.

Yeah.

Yeah, there’s this there’s a store They do not have pizza.

I would not eat the pizza from there if they had it there’s this really cool store in LA called Dapper cadaver and They they sell like really authentic looking corpses and weapons and stuff like that to TV shows and Like there’s just like horrifying gory monster things everywhere and like no matter how many times you go there Anytime you have to walk through like a narrow path with a lot of gross monsters like on either side.

You’re like That’s kind of what the whoa God speaking of which look at this fucking sea anemone Oh, yeah, he ah Jesus.

Don’t kill me.

Okay.

Wow.

Hey, I’m dead.

I like Tom Cruise Do you really yeah cuz I like him too.

I like I like things he’s been in That’s okay, that’s true.

I like him as an actor.

Yeah, I like I like his his oily volleyball game in Top Gun.

Oh fuck.

Yeah playing with the boys.

Oh God I used to listen to that song fucking non-stop.

It is the funniest so good That’s it and it’s much like any gay anthem.

I like that at the time It’s not apparent like YMCA like my dad had no idea that was like Talking about blowing guys What they just like to spell Specifically about blowing dude.

I mean I’ve never listened to the lyrics.

It’s it’s definitely about fucking guys at the gym Oh, okay like It just never really thought about it.

Hold on.

Let me bring up the lyrics.

Yeah, please cuz I This is something that I have not been exposed to it is no it is no secret that the village people may have been of Homosexual preference.

I don’t know if I don’t know if you want to jump to those conclusions Just because they have sex with guys Just because they’re constantly in the throes of sexual intercourse with the same gender as them Young man, there’s no need to feel down.

I said young man pick yourself off the ground I said young man, cuz you’re new in a town or cuz you’re in a new town There’s no need to be unhappy young man.

There’s a place you can go I said young man when you’re short on your dough, you can stay there and I’m sure you will find many ways to have a good time They have everything for you men to enjoy you can hang out with all the boys.

It’s fun to stay at the YMCA Fucking bet it is Well, you can just hang out with the boys.

It’s just it’s just it’s like a bro thing You can get yourself clean.

You can have a good meal.

You can do whatever you feel.

Dang, dude.

This sounds like a fun place I’m 100% down to go to the YMCA bro.

I can hang out with a bunch of guys and play Scrabble.

I’m DTG down to go No, man does it all by himself I said young man put your pride on the shelf Okay, okay Does it all by himself? Oh my god.

I do it all by myself fucking frequently daily even and I was once in your shoes.

I said I was down and out with the blues I felt no man cared if I were alive.

I felt the whole world was so jive jive That sounds like a hard life to be living bro.

Oh, yeah young man Young man.

Oh young man Young man, there’s no need to feel sass.

I said young man stick your hand in my ass Eat the poo poo It’s a sickness you see Do not want it in the YMCA it’s a sickness in the YMCA They stick the hand in the anus Oh Someone wants to hang out with all the boys So I got out of here girl, and I obliged this town is meant for the boys Young girl you can give me no job.

You can have your own song.

I’m no longer alive Please give me high five Oh All right guy dead oh god, oh, please stop stop it damn it you son of a bitch I’ll fucking stab you in the gut bro, but later when I come back Yeah in like didn’t like two minutes.

I’ll come back and I’ll fuck your shit up up up, please I’m just I’m just like I’ve done this before whatever and I fucking get cocky in case anyone doesn’t know what? The hell we’re referring to oh Yeah, yeah, sorry.

I’m just being weird racist.

Yeah, there’s a there’s a video of a of a man What are they like probably like a morality council or something like that? Yeah in Uganda? And he’s like talking about like all the quote-unquote terrible disgusting things gay people do But he like clearly has no idea what gay people actually are like and what they do and yeah It’s just a it’s just like textbook ignorance, but he’s like they eat the poo poo, and they love it There’s they’re clearly so like disturbed and scared.

I’d like Just want to tell them like that’s not what it’s like.

I mean.

I actually don’t know firsthand, but That’s not that’s not what licking anus is like yeah, it’s it’s it’s much more pleasant.

It’s quite enjoyable.

It’s not like ice cream It’s it’s much much more different.

Yeah All right, he’s dead.

He’s dead He’s dead.

She’s dead bullshit Like my limb biscuit reference.

Yeah Excuse me, sir, sir.

Do you like my pebble? Yeah? Here’s my pebble ah? It’s my pebble.

It’s nice.

It’s nice pebble.

Oh, man those guys.

Okay.

Yeah, they’re coming hard Maybe um go up the stairs.

Oh, yeah, totally.

That’s the way to do it.

Yeah.

Well.

I just want my souls back I don’t want to deal with these guys I just don’t know if it’s assigned to a dude or if it’s on the ground it’s on the ground.

It’s much easier for me How did you know I was here? Are you some? God those are like Those are like built-in jump scares wait.

I’m not getting any messages.

Oh That’s right because I’m playing offline oh, there’s someone there Hello, just turns into a first-person shooter where you’re the pitchfork guy.

Oh, whoa whoa easy now not cool Come on, young man frankly.

Oh, you are on fire.

You’re on fire Fairly is it yeah in German yes, I think I’ve watched enough German porn know how to say yes and S&M Shaiza, whoa, yeah, I just staggered him.

I would have shown you what a visceral attack looked like if motherfucking Fucking top hat McGee up there, okay, so you see this guy.

He’s got purple eyes Oh, yeah, yeah with the glowies.

Yeah, so he has my echoes.

What a dick Yeah, so if I kill him I got my echoes back great, and what are messages? So players can leave messages to other players uh-huh on the ground, but they can’t Actually type them out you have to pick from like a list of stuff to say sweet So you can like construct messages with words.

There’s only so many words you can use oh weird um and Can you get funny with it? Oh totally always get funny like there’s stuff.

You can say like hehe and stuff like that Some people are just like you know Like blood over there.

Hehe That and and people will try to fuck you up because you can rate them So some some people will be like assholes and be like all fine here, and then oh Totally not that’s a dick move, but mostly people are trying to help each other out I love it like if there’s a secret and it seems like like all this ledges a leap of faith why would I jump off of it, and then you see a Message that says like take a step forward.

Oh, and then it has like really high ratings, then you’re like okay So there’s a secret over here.

Oh, that’s interesting.

Yeah, what a cool Addition to a game agreed agreed who made this This was made by from software.

Yeah, I don’t know the name of the developer But he was responsible for the first for Demon’s Souls and Dark Souls okay, and then Dark Souls 2 was released and It wasn’t made by that guy But I think like a lot of the same team members, but they kind of fucked up a lot of the vision of what? made Dark Souls good I see and So a lot of people were like ah Dark Souls 2 is not that great right So this is like the spiritual successor to Dark Souls.

This is like back to form cool.

Very cool agreed I I agree wholeheartedly.

I’m feeling it.

Do you feel the jive? Oh this funny fellow again? Get out of here with your fucking giant hammer, bro.

I don’t need your hammer, bro.

Whoa, so so you have to ah if you had a Whoa, oh damn.

Whoa, that’s not good.

You don’t want to get cornered.

I know my sack My sweet sack.

My delicious sack.

Alright you’re dead.

Cool So did that guy respawn because you died? Yeah, so if you go back to Hunter’s dream everything resets.

I see And if you die everything resets.

How close are you to the next lamp? There’s I’m Close to I think I can open this door.

I’m pretty sure I can open this door Because this is that the no There’s another Gotta rack my brain.

I’m pretty close to getting back to the first lamp I was at okay, like I said this whole game is about like looping around I see and if you go to any lamp, even if it’s one you’ve been to before it’ll Remember your progress Yes, cool Yeah, you always keep all your echoes.

Oh boy I’m out of there.

I’m out of there.

See ya.

Wouldn’t want to buh buh buh buh buh buh buh be ya Unless you kill me.

Yeah, in which case I’d probably want to be you.

Where’s that shooter? He’s over here.

I found him They’re assholes, dude Yeah They really they’ve they had so much chaos to the battle scenes When there’s there’s this part in this forest level that like where there’s like a million of them and they just it’s like instant death It’s just a glorious grid of bullets whizzing by it sucks Oh, here’s the big funny fellow.

Yeah, he’s gonna die He’s gonna die Yeah, he’s oh good that’s what happens when you fuck that’s what happens when you fuck with me listen to me when I’m talking to you Don’t fuck with this don’t fuck with this Crap another one exactly like him.

Yeah.

Oh, they’re everywhere.

Oh, yeah, I’ll fuck him up that other one over there is pretty hard Whoop whoop Are some stronger than others? Yeah, and and they they get stronger as you go on in the game I say There’s like a there’s like a complicated dynamic Enemy process in this game Cool, we’re like they they get stronger and everything and based on whatever fucking whatever’s God so much blood did he die dead dead.

No, he’s still alive.

Dang it Do you have to go kill him? Yeah.

Well, it’ll make my life easier Yeah, kill him.

You don’t have to kill anybody except for bosses That’s what’s cool about this game.

It feels a little like you you carve your own path.

Yeah, you’re actually surviving You know in a shitty world there are parts where you’re just like not don’t want to deal with this right now I’m out.

There’s some gross shit there too.

Oh, yeah, those are giant rats They’re pretty cool.

Whoa Oh not cool.

Yeah, I mean, they’re all right Rodents of unusual size.

I don’t believe they exist As a great film The Princess Bride.

Oh, yeah, and it’s amazing too cuz like When you watch it now like they’re clearly scenes where you’re like They’re on a foam rock and that’s a painted background like it’s super obvious.

But like It still doesn’t take you out of it because the story is so good.

Oh, yeah, and the acting is so lovable There’s a great great.

Yeah, whatever happened to Carrie Elwes.

Uh He was in Saw.

He was in Saw.

And he was in Liar Liar Yeah, and he was in The Crush with Alicia Silverstone, which leads me to my next question.

Whatever happened to Alicia Silverstone? Was that Clueless Girl? Yes.

Yes it was.

Wow She was in that Aerosmith music video.

Yes She was in a bunch of them actually.

With Liv Tyler.

Yes And it’s funny because they’re all pretty much the same song Cryin’ Crazy and Amazing were the three songs that featured them and they’re all like Aerosmith was at a very uncreative point in their in their history Come here you motherfucker.

That’s why Saturday Night Live did that um That joke CD with like all of Aerosmith’s greatest hits including Cryin’, Crazy, Amazing, Crazy Cryin’, Amaze-a-Crazy Cryin’, Cryin’ Crazy, Amaze-a-Crazy I’ve never seen that.

Oh, so fucking satisfying to see that because that was the first time I was like yes Thank you.

Someone said it.

Yes, exactly.

That was my move I did that on accident.

Really? You finally got the joy? Ooh, I got new I got new equipment Let’s check this shit out.

What do we got here? Hunter hat? Oh, that’s way better Fuck yeah.

Oh Fuck yeah Check this shit.

Nice.

I got so much- look at how fucking cool I am now.

Whoa.

Yeah I’m fucking rad as shit.

You look really good Thanks I figured all my compliments would come across as not at all like facetious if I if I said them as Dale from From King of the Hill.

You look really good Do people know that? Do people know that we we read YouTube comments in the voice of Dale? Oh, yeah So if there’s something that you want to not ever hurt you emotionally just read it in the voice of Dale Gribble from From King of the Hill.

Yeah, YouTube read it like it works for everything Yeah, so so if it’s like- Arin is not good at video games I miss when Arin used to animate Hey, what happened to that sellout? And then it’s like, oh, it doesn’t hurt now.

Yeah.

Nice.

Oh god.

Oh god.

Oh god.

No.

Nope I don’t want to bow you fucking idiot Bow into the barf Bow into the toxic acid death barf.

Lean into it Yeah, so I feel like we haven’t Haven’t really acknowledged these these creatures Uh, first of all, hi.

Hi.

Hello.

Good creatures.

What are they? They’re just like dead soul or others I don’t know It’s unsettling because when you step on one of them it kind of moves their arm and makes it look like they’re still alive Oh, yeah, that is confusing and gross.

It sucks.

Sometimes it’ll trick you.

Look at me.

I am just covered in death barf No big deal.

I love it Um, okay, I think I think up here is loops back to the lamp But this is gonna be sort of difficult because there’s a lot of dogs up here You’re an idiot.

This is the problem with Jews Crows Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa, that one still had some fly in us in them Oh, yeah, they come at you and they make like not crow sounds.

They’re just like like a fucking blender Did uh, did Ross tell you he finally responded to a hateful comment on YouTube? Oh, yeah Yeah, like we I mean we have a policy we never actually like establish it as a policy but like I Don’t know just as an adult you’re like, I’m not fucking responding any of this shit You’re kidding me, but this was like finally like I’m gonna do it and his response was like come at me scrub lord.

I’m ripped That’s What we all want to say, oh, yeah, and it’s Come at me scrub lord, I’m ripped Works it works both ways.

Yeah, it works everywhere.

Definitely works both ways.

So, okay So I just um, I just did a little tip.

Here’s a little tip for you blood-borne first-timers Yeah, you cannot level up until you get some insight and a lot of people think that the only way that you can do that Is um is by beating the first boss, but no in the sewers you can get madman’s knowledge Which I used and I got one insight which is that eyeball up there.

Oh nice.

So now I can level up sweet Yeah, it’s pretty red is is where’s the lamp that will like save your progress? I could use one of those somewhere very badly.

That’s around.

Okay.

It’s you know, it’s somewhere I Can’t believe Arin doesn’t know where the lamp is What an asshole I? Should uh, but I don’t want to go through those guys again.

What’s that? I should like Deposit my blood echoes.

Yeah, it feels like you’ve yeah feels like you’ve been through a lot All right It doesn’t feel like a lot though.

Cuz like in my other game.

I’m at the point where like 30,000 blood echoes is like I guess so.

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

I have 4,000 right now.

Oh Now yes still early but like so that feels like nothing to me from having played it at home But excuse me, I’m sure it’s like five levels or something.

Yeah All right, I’ll go back.

It’s nothing to me.

Oh I Have I have 40,000 blood echoes just in my underwear drawer.

I just I’m saving them for whatever.

Oh Sorry, look at this carnage that I left behind yeah, it’s really good.

Oh, there’s another guy.

Hey, hey, sorry.

I killed your friend.

You’re dead Yep I’m gonna have nice dreams tonight Yeah, pretty sure.

Oh There’s more dudes.

Hey, great.

Ah cool young man If there’s no need to die, I said young man You’re dead.

Yeah, you’ve died There’s no need to feel cry I said joke man.

There is all you want to do lie on the ground Do do do do do Do do it’s fun to stay at the bar fee trench coat.

I’m covered in barf and it won’t go away There you go.

Here we go.

Okay.

Is it weird that crows can like completely fucking mimic human speech Or birds in general.

Yeah, it’s pretty fucked up.

There was a ho Hey, what’s up? I’ll continue the story of Joe the crow a little later.

That is a cleric beast god damn It’s awesome.

He’s an asshole I think he’s actually pretty easy if I remember correctly fuck It’s just intimidating.

Yeah, cuz he’s so huge.

Yeah, and the fucking choir music starts up.

Yeah, and he screams when he attacks you Oh, he’s fine.

He’s fine.

He’s got like little horns He’s badass Yeah, fuck you.

Fuck you.

Yeah, you think so cool like so God So cool.

I can’t see can’t see I’m stuck.

I’m straight-up stuck Unfortunate I am stuck.

Oh, please get me out of here.

Really.

I am 100% not able to get out of this spot.

I cannot move.

Oh Thank you Arin sucks at video games Now it’s time for the real fight to ow ow starting now now wait ow now Don’t back up dude, I can’t get behind you when you back up Jeez, oh, I think a cleric beast would know how to die.

Oh God When his fist like slams into you in the camera, it’s just like He’s like covered in some kind of moss Whoa, okay.

Okay.

Whoa.

God damn.

Yeah Fuck this thing don’t back up against the wall, dude.

I can’t fucking get behind you.

Yeah.

Yeah Yeah, that’s actually a good move in a bar fight Good move in a bar fight He knows what he’s doing.

This isn’t his first brawl mama cleric beast didn’t raise no fools Yes, cleric beast Don’t ask stupid questions.

Yes, it’s dumb.

It’s a stupid thing to ask No, no, no, no, no, no, no, please please.

Oh Oh, so this game has a cool little feature If you don’t okay So if you this thing is so awesome, I know it’s just the first boss dude.

I know it’s it’s crazy for the first boss Okay, okay just go ahead and fucking backhand me see if I care Okay, or do that or do that? That’s cool, too.

Okay.

Okay, maybe lay off for a second.

Maybe lay off me Okay, we’re all good.

We’re good folks.

Jeez.

It’s fast.

I Mean, this is fucking dude Is this nothing when you see some of the other bosses like the the blood starved beast who I still have not beaten great Sounds like fun.

It is Complete ass a tree this this actually reminds me a little of shadow of the Colossus.

Oh, yeah Yeah, like the epic music and the epic music size of the creature Yeah, the fact that the first one you meet is like already awesome.

And yeah, ha ha Very intimidating, but by the end you’re like this thing.

Yeah, please please This thing please I am dead.

All right, we’re good.

Yeah, we’re good Come here, baby.

Oh, no.

No, don’t do that move.

Don’t do that moves.

It’s a bad move to do I would highly recommend not using that move.

Is that you healing like you stabbing the thing in yourself? Yeah, nice.

Oh, you got him Yep.

Yeah Slaughtered Pray for good fucking job Arin’s bro Pray, I’m gonna get this item.

I’m gonna get my echoes back.

You’ve earned a trophy star reader A-plus students.

I am covered in blood Oh My welcome back you damn it.

Hello.

I was practicing it like three times.

Welcome back God, yeah fucking that’s not the one I wanted.

Mm-hmm.

Welcome back You like a fucking guy? Welcome back you guys Do that from now on Well, it’s tilt that way to tilt tilt Come on.

All right, wait do it one more time the Tilt.

No, no the just the point.

I’m trying to Damn it.

Okay at the point.

Here we go.

Hold on.

I gotta get the camera Sup you fucking pussies.

Welcome back to game grumps Today’s episode I’m gonna get Tom Kenny once we watched a house burn together what? Uh You’re gonna have to explain that one a little further there was I was on the highway we did one of you light the house on fire I’m not at liberty to say Not on the record.

I want to protect Tom Kenny.

Yeah, of course, so I’m not gonna know We I was just like driving through Burbank with some friends on the highway And then I was getting off the highway There was just like a pillar of smoke coming from like the center of Burbank and I was like what the fuck I gotta see What’s going on? So I went over there and then there was like this I think it was like a like an auto parts shop or something.

That was just like on fire.

Whoa Burning tires always good.

Yeah, so I was like well shit and we just fucking watch this this place go down And then like I just like eagle-eye like a fucking weird stalker or something I just like immediately saw Tom Kenny in his car like drive up and I’m like, I think that’s Tom Kenny.

That’s crazy Oh, what are the odds of that? I know.

Oh It wasn’t hurting anybody.

He’s gonna break out.

Okay, I didn’t So he walks up and like starts watching and then like I go up to him and I’m like, hey Tom Kenny And he’s like, hey, you know like I was watching Transformers animated at the time So I was like, hey man, you know big fan of all your work I’m watching Transformers animated right now like Starscream Yeah, and he’s like he was like cool and you know Like he he let me in on some information that I will not share.

Oh, that’s cool.

Which was cool I burned this house And I was like, oh neat cool and then and then I made Tom Kenny laugh, oh good for you Yeah, I was like I was like man, you know It’s kind of weird that we’re bonding over a snuff film I Was like Funny joke That’s all he seems like a very cool guy, yeah That’s what what a crazy random story.

I know I can’t believe you never told me your fucking I watched an auto parts store burn with Tom Kenny story We’ve known each other for years.

I know I know and I’m a super happy with that tale.

Yeah, I think I still have a picture Like a like a hilarious Someone’s dream is dying behind me selfie.

Yeah, we totally took like a picture of us With the burning building in the back What else is there to do in a picture situation such as that of course not I mean three generations of my family’s business They’re going up in flames.

Hope you got a good shot.

I Think it was just like a like a chain or something.

Okay, if it’s if it was a pep boys then yeah, absolutely No, it was like a Pop mom and pop boys.

Oh Yeah, it sucks Whatever.

What are you gonna do? I’m Collect the insurance.

Okay.

So first of all, I want to say to people who are watching.

I don’t know what episode What is this episode six? Yes, so people are probably already saying he probably doesn’t know how to bring his wife Oh note I do.

Okay.

I just don’t use it cuz I don’t like it But he probably doesn’t know how to bring his weapon out Someone tell him but so, okay.

So here’s a hunter.

This is the first hunter that we encounter He’s extremely hard.

Okay, and I’m gonna see Because there’s a method that sort of glitches him out.

It’ll make him really easy But if I don’t do that method, he’s probably gonna fucking destroy me Okay, so and there’s no way to approach him in a friendly way Not really great But I’m gonna use this because it’s much it’s much easier against us.

Hi, sir.

Everything’s there Excuse me.

I can talk to him Oh, I guess I just attacked him the first time I played dumbass Yeah, I think this is a woman yeah What are you gonna give me oh Maybe she’s gonna attack me No, yeah, I know Oh cool.

So god damn it Arin.

She doesn’t fight me if I don’t fight her, but she will fight three seconds before I’m like, is there any way to approach him in a friendly way? No, absolutely not Hello, Hunter I guess I didn’t remember that.

I just like straight-up attacked her when I came up with my fucking funny, but I will Do you want me to fight her? No, she’s rad.

She’s got like a crow face.

Yeah, but I get cool stuff from her No fear blah blah blah blah shake off.

Well, we’ll give you another thing.

Oh cool.

Give me a pose All right, I want to equip that pose now Hold on.

I don’t want conviction.

I want motherfucking Where is it? Shake off cape.

Mm-hmm.

So Here we go Yeah, that’s nice fuck yeah, that’s good you want to see what you just gave me yeah, I see this shit Whoops swung my weapon Fuck.

Yeah.

Whoa, you even like did it to her Uh, well if I kill her then I can have her clothes.

Don’t do it.

She’s rad.

She’s rad But she’s also really rad to fight.

Okay.

I mean, hey do what you need to do buddy.

She’s gonna kick my ass All right, we’ll do it later.

Okay, I’ll come back and I’ll just be like, hey, I’m better than you and destroy her Okay, cool, but for those who are curious about how to glitch her out Alright, so when she comes at you you want to lead her down here and then you want to lead her into here And then when she’s in here, then you can go up on the bridge right here And she’ll just like stand there and not do anything way.

I’ll just go all day That’s nice and like maybe once or twice she’ll attack back, but she’ll never try to come out So it’s pretty rad.

I love it.

But it’s just it’s just hard to get her like in there So you got me bro Look I’ve been in this situation a little bit more than you think She you think you’re the only person who’s played blood-borne.

I play the bullet-borne of life Here’s that bitch who always attacks me hello hunter $5,000 for no reason She looked evil and I walked up and I hit her I wanted to get the drop on her.

Yeah, I hit her with my fucking crazy like Barbasol fucking razor axe and she got all pissy for some reason probably on her period Well, there’s another person that’s like really important that I attacked accidentally and they still talk to me, oh really so Maybe she’s just pretty what did they say? Stop killing me? No, they were just like cool.

What’s up? Good to see you.

Hey, bro, mom.

Mine’s good a Hunter’s got to hunt Here’s a cool pose for you.

That’s always funny when they give you a pose Just kind of like yeah do this.

Yeah, it looks really it looks rad as fuck I do it all the time.

Yeah, don’t kill me.

I shake the shit out of my cape.

It’s fucking cool.

Oh nice You cannot wait Anakin.

I have the higher ground Out my legs, yeah Okay, Danny ready for a boss fight.

I always okay as long as I’m not doing it.

Well Yeah, you’re safe for now.

Oh, hello friend.

Yeah, okay No, he’s easy.

Yeah Fuck you.

Oh Do you don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t I? Got a little tripped up by the stairs He this guy’s easy.

He’s bashing you into the ground with a cinder block Can’t feel my face.

This is so fucking good every time you make some confident comment it always Immediately comes back on you.

Oh oh This is one of my favorite parts.

You’re gonna like this Hmm There we go this bridge right here is great Just like boom beat up.

Oh, no fucking villagers shit.

I’m screwed.

They’re just kind of hanging out there Oh, man, we’re gonna fuck up my shit.

Oh Geez, oh, no.

I hope they don’t come at me and kill me.

Oh, no.

Oh god.

Oh fuck.

Oh Indiana Jones style Damn, and they’re dead and I get their experience nice the end So that’s pretty fucking sweet.

Yeah, that scared the shit out of me.

Yeah Cuz you went running towards them.

Yeah, I was like charge.

I just see this flaming ball, and I’m like charge Wow Alright, this guy’s fucking dead Not the boss.

No.

No, it’s just another one of these guys.

He looked bigger in the distance He’s got that hunchback.

Yeah This guy bought them for me, I don’t know him, but he friend my impenetrable wooden plank No one will break through it’s like four twigs tied together Hello friends.

All right.

See ya.

Whoa.

That’s a fucking awesome like Upswing he’s got.

Oh, yeah, he like launches you in the air when he does it.

Yeah, you go actually flying Do you think those are all motion-captured people that they? Face those movements on some of them.

I know there are a lot of Japanese developers that do mocap Cuz some of them like feel really human and others feel completely like a creature.

You know yeah, oh Where’s this leave sweet? Where is this where am I oh? It’s the fucking pig oh I’m gonna sneak up on this little mr.

.

Piggy Aim for the buck now check it out watch this oh Oh God get him right up the ass.

Oh, oh this reminds me of a dread out.

Oh, yeah Yeah, he’s a doll you silly pig now.

You’re haha charade you are That’s a Pink Floyd reference is it yeah pigs.

You never heard pigs three different ones.

I’ve never heard like any Pink Floyd oh All right, we need to take a road trip Yeah, and I’ll play you just to play the shit out of some Pink Floyd for you Not because it’s like Good music or anything It’s I don’t know it’s beautiful They had a stretch of three albums dark side of the moon wish you were here in animals that is just like fucking Three of my all-time favorite.

Oh no no no oh god.

Oh my god.

That was so close.

Oh, sorry Yeah, that’s that’s the chat a little bit less about Pink Floyd so you can focus on not running down an elevator shaft Okay It’s okay, okay.

I just wanted to make sure that I got all that shit.

There’s a no Oh, I could get that stuff in the sewer.

I’ll do it later There’s like a bunch of items in the sewer I missed important items um We’re like more of the same.

Yeah, just kind of stuff that makes you stronger cool but Did we really need to make this building so tell yeah? Yeah guys maybe install an elevator? That is yeah, this game is gorgeous.

Yeah.

Oh such an in such like a sad Downer way yeah, no yeah Barry and I were talking about it’s like this entire game’s palette is just like gray Yeah, but like fucking beautiful.

It still feels colorful.

Yeah, you know like one of my problems with dread out was that like it felt drab Even though like it should you know well because there’s like blue right like you’re here And then there’s like yellow light right here.

Yes guys like red mm-hmm.

It’s just very subtly like ingrained into what’s going on All right, you ready? Are you ready is the question you got your Molotov cocktails? Pungent blood oil are in that might help Yeah, see if that helps Okay We go probably gonna lose like four times.

That’s okay.

I don’t have anywhere to go So okay, so this is this will this will be the first hunter fight you see okay? He is another hunter oh He has the same abilities as me.

He’s and he’s a boss.

Yes.

Oh shit.

He’s an asshole though Father Cagney own or whatever the fuck his name is oh He’s a man of God just He’s hacking away walk up like Sick belt buckle though, yeah, let’s watch Scott Hey Hi, oh Oh, that’s the guy that woke me up.

Yeah, no he’s got the bandage on his face.

He does okay we fucking go Oh, damn, Jesus All right come at me come at me come at me come at me father gascoigne God he’s so fucking hard.

He’s got a fucking blunderbuss.

He sure does Don’t worry.

You’ve done 1 28th of damage in him.

Oh Fuck you don’t block my attack you ass.

Yeah, that’s a dick move come on Yes, nice.

Oh That’s a visceral attack.

Yes, it is the first time that we’ve done that on the show well done I’m proud of you.

Thank you.

Oh, he’s coming home people have so much blood in this game.

I know Don’t fucking don’t fucking shoot your goddamn blunderbuss at me.

Yeah fucking stronger than mine blunderbuss Yeah, whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa don’t do that nonsense Don’t do that nonsense Come here.

Do your attack you’re fucking there you go.

Oh Oh, that’s right.

It’s disgusting.

Well.

He’s gonna get fucked up.

I love it.

Oh Here we go what yeah, oh come on now Yeah Come on come on.

Oh god.

Oh don’t look at me.

Whoa whoa Yeah, nope nope nope don’t do it.

Don’t know it’s So don’t don’t go through with it.

No.

No don’t do that attack.

That’s bad.

That’s the worst of them come on come on Come on come on come on Okay, I got him, but he hit me Yeah there we go Fuck yeah, oh you’re close come on be patient throw a fucking cocktail at him Do you like that does that light up your ankles? Oh, okay.

No no no no no no no no no no no no heal.

He’ll please he’ll please heal roll Fuck Yeah, yeah, yeah, you got him.

He’s done.

Yeah, Arin Good bye very fucking impressive.

Thanks.

All right this chest is getting motherfucking opened Whoo yeah, and then I’m gonna get the glowy shit inside yep.

Oh fuck.

Yeah, get that blood gem workshop tool Open in the door now cutscene probably important Is that your hair? Yeah? Oh cool? I’m a girl.

I thought it was just like a part of the Hat Nah, I got a cute ponytail.

Yeah, you’re you’re hot It’s my jam It’s my jelly jam atmosphere God this is fucking cinematic.

Yeah, I Would really love it if you’d shop for a second.

I once caught a fish this big It wasn’t that big, but I was impressed by it All right welcome to a new slew of enemies.

Oh really yeah, these ones are very churchy out of control Also, oh there.

There.

She is so Hello miss you’re looking well Oh, yeah, I think you smell worse than me actually Like how I’m pointing this gun directly Please please yeah, it’s safe here.

Oh wait.

This is interesting.

Oh, okay Yeah, so it’s safe in here, so there’s people that I can run into There’s people that I can run into who are like normal, and they’re like hey your pots fuck your She’s like oh, well, I guess you had a very good reason.

I’m sure yeah for doing that Hunter Okay, what do you hunt pots? Okay, well kind of hoped you’d leave these parts alone We’re over there because they were my favorite parts, I’m sure it’ll be easier to find new ones If they respond when I leave oh, yeah, okay cool Just got to kill all the pots, dude Imagining her being like I’ve got something for you in these pots I couldn’t say it in time cuz you’re already on a murder spree Okay, I got all the pots yay, and I gotta light this motherfucking lamp Yeah, baby.

Hello Okay So I can go two ways This is the way I want to go so I’m gonna go this way hmm good plan.

That’s the end of that So these guys are sir fuck oh Oh Not not friendly.

No.

No he’s not they look more human.

Yeah, they’re creepy though See ya Man, I’m really far along and fucking episode eight you’re tearing it up brother.

Okay, so this way is old yarnum That’s like later.

It’s a pirate It’s it sorry yarnum Who I could get a little late I could go to old yarnum And maybe I will but right now.

I’m gonna not go to old yarnum, okay I’m gonna fight this motherfucker So this stick is for walking that this stick is for stabbing Oh stick is for landing on It hurts like the dick in okay, so this guy Pro-tippins yeah, this guy is an evil spirit who if you stand around there too long He’ll grab you and kill you immediately who am I looking at this dead guy over here the one who’s a flame? Yes, okay, so you get that item, and then he lures you into a false sense of security So you have to get the item and fucking run? Really, yeah, cuz there’s that’ll grab you No shit.

Yeah, it’s fucked up.

It’ll kill you instantly really.

Yeah, it sucks.

It’s a dick move You can’t even fight him, but on the bright side He’s now I have a top hat yeah Congratulations, thank you mmm.

You very proud of this top hat hat Pro-tip there’s a giant oh God he saw me oh Yeah, he just looks like a bigger version of the other guys you just want to get okay I just want to get on this side.

Oh, yeah, well Slowish yeah, okay hmm could be slower, but I mean he’s like Damn This game really makes you feel it like when they bring the shit down hard Well, that’s the thing too is like when you encounter these dudes you have no fucking clue what they’re gonna Do yeah, yeah, and like you see this guy, and you’re like oh, man He’s like walking really slow and shit, and then he just like raises that shit Yeah God this reminds me so much of in humanoids really do you remember that show? I do it’s like wasn’t like super gross.

It was gross It was these three fucking like demon things that had been like Raised yeah that had been raised accidentally from like the underground which is supposed to be hell I guess Meanwhile this is on Saturday morning cartoons for kids And like one of them is called decompose, and he was a dinosaur with an exposed ribcage.

That’s right Yeah, he was done by the same guy who did the voice of Cobra Commander in the GI Joe.

I think that’s Frank Welker No, it was a dude who died Chris something But he was like decompose And like he would touch your head while you slept and you turn into a gross like tree like monster zombie, so Lord knows I was desperately terrified to go to sleep when I was like fucking seven years old Desperately terrified.

Oh, I could not sleep for years Because of in humanoids because of all kinds of shit that scared me.

Oh, it was the worst.

I was a horrible insomniac when I was a kid He touches you when you fucking sleep While you sleep you never have a chance Yeah, and like in the cartoon There’s like just rows of dudes sleeping, and he just touches them all and they all turn into his fucking zombie minions Fuck is wrong with people making kids cartoons like this Inhumanoids, the evil that lies within Yeah, it was like fucking it only lasted like seven or eight episodes.

I wonder why Wait didn’t the toys like they opened up and there were people inside Yeah, the the toy for decompose at least like you could open the rib cage and like store people inside like that had been Captured by him so fucking really disturbing awesome Hey guys pro tip if you’re exploring every angle don’t go in this corner right here Can you get stuck like I did with that boss? Oh really? Yeah? It’s it’s pretty messed up Minor glitch that’s beautiful.

Oh, yeah, it’s cool right with the Sun and everything yeah So pretty such a vast city especially funny since I just played Minecraft and like I’m so used to like goofy square Sun Wait you just played Minecraft, but yeah When with my buddies up in Oregon whoa cool.

It was wonderful.

I loved it.

Dude isn’t it though It’s incredibly relaxing isn’t it right? Yeah.

Yeah, it totally is yeah.

It’s just like it’s just like man I’m gonna sit down.

I’m gonna relax.

I’m gonna minecraft.

Yeah, it’s um and And also at different times incredibly stressful.

Oh is he gonna hit you with that giant Christmas ornament.

Oh, yeah, dude Yeah, I can feel it.

Oh who’s mr.

.

Shaky over there that guy didn’t know he was here Oh hold on.

I got a fucking note first so these Okay, yeah, so these fuck No, I’ll have to do it later.

Geez man.

You could have got you could have maybe left this guy sleeping no oh Oh nice shots So that little guy you saw he’s actually like a permanent kill so if you kill him he’s gone forever Oh weird.

He like runs really fast, so it’s sort of a challenge to catch up to him and kill him oh I see yeah, he’s just like a little ball of faces.

He’s a pokey little flat biscuit He’s like the L.

P.

N.

T.

C.

M.

O of this game.

It tells you anything about what this game is like Yeah, you just want to get behind these guys cool super easy.

Just like at the YMCA But sex It’s next time on game grumps huh hold on hold on oh more pots.

Oh, it’s your dream come true Fuck yeah, this game of fours you tiny little joys.

Oh my god.

Oh little joys.

Do you fucking remember? that video of like It’s not on YouTube.

It’s like on Vimeo and other things like that, but it’s like those like Really highly skilled old Japanese guys making amazing clay pottery Like super intricate like beautiful piano music.

Uh-huh like they should fucking Like put together a video of like them like creating it perfectly and like setting it on their table And then this dude just fucking comes in and somersaults it Runs away, I love it.

I just killed a bunch of dudes.

Oh, yeah, here’s like they’re all Wrigley Oh, he’s not just sleeping.

Oh, no.

I killed him.

He’s having the murder dreams Cracks a tiny smile All right, so Here’s the thing this door up here is opened with an emblem that you buy at hunters dream for 10,000 blood echoes Okay, I don’t know if it’s available right now, and if it’s not Then I have to kill a specific hunter to get in there hmm, and I don’t know which hunter that is So I’m gonna check to see in hunters dream if that item is available And if so, I’m gonna go to old yarn them and fucking grind Cool.

Oh this guy’s cool He gives me the prey option Mm-hmm He’s a pretty boy.

Oh hello Mm-hmm.

My name is is Farley for ignore my silly silly potbelly I’m thinking all this very loudly.

Yeah.

Yeah, all the characters don’t talk.

That’s how it wasn’t Dark Souls 2 cool Okay cooperate Very good.

I should refuse them because I’ve never refused them.

I wonder if he fights take this to celebrate our acquaintance I feel like it’s just people make it much easier on you if they give you stuff Yeah, but if you kill them sometimes you get something better really yeah Why can’t I kill this man Yeah, so there’s like a church and And it’s said that like you can heal yourself when you go to this church cool of this illness That is in the blood of which I am absolutely painted in neat.

Yeah So, I don’t know why I’m fucking okay Also, I’m totally cute.

No fucking adorable.

I am.

Oh, yeah, I’d hit you No, not that hit okay, it has been a problem Just uh, thanks, buddy.

See ya.

I’ll see you around Have a good one Catch you later.

Take it easy brah Don’t let the door hit you where the good Lord splitter I don’t know.

Where did you hear that? I don’t know it was in my brain somehow.

God, that’s brilliant What the hell is I gonna say wow That’s so good, I’m gonna forget it tomorrow.

Oh, well beautiful that is like yeah, I couldn’t possibly memorize that Hopefully someone will see this Episode whenever it airs and then and then they’ll send you a message somehow Never forget.

Oh, there’s a lycanthrope right there.

Oh torches are good boy.

They never stop being intimidating Yeah, but he’s like super easy.

Is there a difference between like anthrops and werewolves or is it just another name for the same thing? I think it’s the same thing, okay Maybe a lycanthrope is like a beast man and werewolves are like the ones that change.

Oh, I don’t know I honestly don’t know.

Pots! Yay! Okay, there should be something in one of those at some point.

No, there never is.

Really? Yeah, they’re just for fun This is where you really get to see your character’s true personality Yay! I love rolling into shit! But not actual shit.

Yeah, important distinction.

That would be weird.

Is this another guy that’ll kill you immediately? No.

Oh, okay It’s just that one.

Well, there’s another spot that that happens in.

Damn, that’s fucked up.

And you actually see the demon that like grabs you It’s pretty creepy.

Whoa.

I might show it to you just for fun.

Just for good times.

Yeah.

Splish.

All right So this is the um, this is the old Yharnam lamp.

Okay.

Uh, ooh, I’m actually gonna level up right now.

I got 6,000 motherfucking blood echoes.

Yo, I’m so dang strong! I’m proud of you.

I’m proud of you.

Don’t fuck my steez up, brah.

Don’t fuck my steez.

Oh, I’m gonna show you a fucking, oh man, this part, okay Cause we’re having a good time.

This, this part of the game is ridiculously hard.

This is where it gets super fucking hard.

Okay.

Um, and I’m probably gonna die a lot Uh, so I’m gonna beef up.

Oh, I’m good.

So there’s like two hunters at the same time that you have to fight.

Oh, come on now.

Yeah, it’s, it’s- Do they both do the crazy beast thing? No, they’re just regular hunters.

Super.

We’re going into old Yharnam, and this time, it’s just, it’s just normal, I guess.

Yeah.

This town is long abandoned.

Same as ever.

Not like the fucking bumping ass, like, good time town.

Central Yharnam! Woo hoo! Yo, they having parties, burning lycanthropes and shit.

Yeah, ooh.

Oh, so that’s the hunter.

Who’s, who’s saying, oh.

Oh shit, sorry, I wanted to pick this shit up.

Yeah, um, he doesn’t like me.

It always feels like, um, it feels like everyone talking to you is, like, very far away in this game.

Yeah.

Even when they’re talking, like, right next to you.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

Cause they had that fucking reverberation or whatever.

Yeah, yeah.

Reverb.

Re- yeah.

So that clock tower, you see that little thing on top? Yes.

That’s the hunter.

Oh.

He’s a turret.

And when I get close, he’s gonna start shooting, like, a fucking automatic weapon.

Come on, now.

It’s bananas.

And I fucking hate it, and it drives me insane.

So here we go.

Yeah, let’s see what happens.

Get the fuck off of me.

Nothing good, I bet.

Oh yeah, these are little, like, pygmy imps or whatever.

They suck.

Yeah, they’re gross.

I like them.

This is the point in the game where you start getting poisoned, so bring antidotes.

Oh.

Who’s hanging upside down there? Uh.

Franklin? He’s fine.

It’s the dude from Assassin’s Creed.

How did I end up in this game? We hang shitty games.

Aww.

Oh yeah, I said it.

Yeah.

I said it.

Ass-assins Creed.

Oh damn.

Yeah.

You can see him a little better up there.

Oh yeah.

He’s gonna start shooting sometime.

I think we’ve told that story, that, like, we were gonna try to write an Assassin’s Creed song for Starbomb 2, but the best idea we had was that, like, someone pronounces it Ass-assins Creed.

Which, to be fair, is the best joke.

Yeah, that’s an amazing song.

Amazing basis for a song right there.

Isn’t that when we came up with Inky’s Lament? Oh, I mean, yes.

Because it was just like, whatever, we can’t, let’s just stick to something we know.

Yeah.

I love Pac-Man.

Well, it’s because Inky’s your favorite character.

Yes, he is.

Inky and Glass Joe were my favorite characters in all of video games growing up, and so it was a hoot.

It was a hoot to be able to write songs about them.

Okay, you see that? And they both get their ass kicked.

Oh yeah, that’s true.

Oh well.

Oh, that’s why you like them.

They’re underdogs.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, there you go.

I guess they’re both technically villains, but not really.

They’re just fighting for what they believe in, yo.

Yeah.

One being dead, and the other being French.

You decide who I’m talking about.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Okay.

Oh yeah, you want to fall down here.

Okay.

So these guys are bigger.

These guys will grab you and barf on you, and then just poison you for life.

Also, the gunman can shoot at you from here.

There’s some people in Philly who do that too.

Just grab you and barf on you.

Poison you for life.

Yeah, yeah.

I’m amazed I got out of there alive.

I like Philly.

I can’t wait to take you there, dude.

I’m just gonna say it right now.

It’s a great place.

You’ve never been there.

Yes, I have.

Really? Yeah, I’ve been there a bunch of times.

That’s where Newgrounds is.

Oh, of course.

Yeah, so he’s shooting at me.

Oh yeah.

You can probably see.

I’ll show myself.

Oh, he’s got the fucking Jesse the Body Ventura gun from Predator.

Yeah.

What does he get? Where did he get a helicopter gun? Dude, it’s fucking Bloodborne.

Just how it is.

Yeah.

Alright, so this- It’s a real mix of future and past.

I have to make a choice.

That guy right down there, that’s a hunter.

He’s very difficult.

Okay.

I did- The last time I beat him, I beat him when the turret was going off.

So I can do that.

But I can also make a mad dash for him and fight him up there.

I think you should go for the guy shooting the turret.

Alright, I’m gonna do it then.

Alright, here we go.

Go.

I don’t think he saw you.

The hunter saw me.

Oh crap.

Hope he doesn’t chase me.

Are you chasing me? Hello.

Yep, beat him.

I think he’s gonna leave me alone.

Yeah, yeah.

He’s like fuck it.

Yeah, he’s going back to his fucking spot.

Cool.

Yeah.

I’m good.

I’m watching you the whole way though.

It’s like I’m not turning around.

Good.

Good job on that.

Thanks.

Yeah, cause it feels- it feels like you’re leaving too much up to chance if you just try to fight him while- while there’s gunfire coming at you.

Oh yeah.

But I did it.

I fucking did it.

Let the record show.

Alright, this guy is- okay, this guy is fucked up, first of all.

I don’t want him to see me while I explain this.

But uh, so he’s really hard.

Okay.

And this rooftop is super small, so it’s hard to get away from him.

But the thing, and I think the game designers wanted this to be the case, you have to knock him off.

And when he knocks off, he dies.

Oh.

So, that’s what I’m gonna try to do.

Hi.

Hello.

Oh well, weren’t you just waiting for us? Okay, alright.

That almost killed me.

Whoa, look at him.

Whoops.

Looks like I am the one who has fallen off.

It takes like fucking forever to get up here.

Yeah.

Although, these are the moments that like, let you think about the world, you know? Oh yeah.

And like, how intricate it- like, look at these fucking walls.

Yeah.

That statue? Somebody fucking made that statue? Yeah.

This game must have taken forever.

Oh yeah, dude.

Hello.

Hi.

Hello, my friend.

Just fall off.

Just fall off.

Just fall off.

Yeah.

Dead.

Dude.

I said he’s dead.

No more turret.

Awesome.

Can you use the turret on the other hunter? Oh, fu- yep, he’s dead.

Sweet.

Alright.

So, when I come back here- oh, my echoes are here too.

Yay.

So, when I come back here later, there’ll be an item here.

Cool.

Cause he died on the ground.

Actually, it might be down there.

I’ll find out when I go down there.

Why not try the turret? I can’t.

Oh, you can’t? Yeah.

How darn.

I know, it sucks, but whatever.

Whatevs.

Alright, I’m gonna try to fight this other hunter.

Mhm.

So, there’s no way to just kill that dude on the roof outright.

You have to- I bet you can.

He’s just really hard, cause it’s like super close quarters.

Did he just vanish? Yes, he did.

I saw that too.

Okay, okay.

Okay, okay.

Well, hmm.

I feel less confident running into this now.

I wonder if I should go back and level up, cause I’m- there’s a very high chance that I’ll die against this guy.

Yeah, do it.

Nah, I’ll fight him.

Okay.

Okay, okay.

Hi.

You sure? Hello.

Hello.

I don’t think leveling up’s a bad idea.

Nah, I got it.

Okay.

I got it.

Everything’s cool.

Oh, don’t got it.

I got it.

It’s cool.

Come here.

Yeah, fuck you.

Ooh, yeah.

Woah.

There we go, that’s what I wanted.

Holy shit, this guy’s fast.

Yeah.

Oh, hello.

Welcome to the party.

Come on.

Don’t fuck with me like that.

God damn it.

Aw, come on.

Alright, alright.

I’m outie.

Immediately outie 5000.

If you go up that ladder, will it retain the damage that you did to him? Oh, you can take him out here.

Alright.

There you go.

Give me something.

Nope.

Alright.

Well, I guess you’re worthless.

And you’re still fighting me.

Yeah, we’re fighting.

Okay.

What if I threw a cocktail at you? Yeah.

Uh oh.

Oh, I got one over your head.

Ow.

Ow.

Mmm.

Ouchies.

Nope.

Oh, boy.

Woah.

No, no, nope, nope.

Heal, heal, heal, heal.

Getting those hits.

Getting those hits off.

Yeah.

Nice.

Fuck you.

Fuck you, man.

Okay, you’re good, you’re good.

You’re back in your rhythm.

Come on, do it.

Come on.

I want that visceral.

Woah, heal.

Phew.

Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t use your fucking pike.

Man, this is stressful.

Yeah.

Yes.

Yeah, that’s what we’re doing.

That’s what I want.

Oh, god.

Ah, fucking crow.

Are you kidding me? Jesus.

Hold on, I can fucking, I can take care of this.

Oh, jeez.

That is a, that is an angry crow.

Alright.

Back on schedule.

My god, this fucking game.

Alright, come on.

What the fuck, he has potions? Yeah, he’s healing too.

What the hell? Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my god, I never noticed that.

He’s a hunter.

I, I, I would, I would if I were in his position.

Yeah, seriously.

Yeah, fuck you.

Ah, dammit.

Come on.

I’m gonna have to switch it up.

That was cool, we both did it at the same time.

Yeah, right? Do they, woah.

Okay.

Ah, careful.

Each weapon has a, a second form.

Oh, I see.

Man, oh, man.

Come on, come on, come on.

Come on, fuck you.

Come on.

Don’t fucking shoot your stupid- Bro, I am like rock hard with fear boners right now.

I’m running out of ammo though.

Ah, fuck, fuck.

I’m out of ammo too.

Oh, you might want to run.

It’s not, it’s not a bad idea to run.

But I can, I can get it back.

Okay.

You can like, materialize ammo.

Okay.

It just takes life.

Geez.

Oof, I might want to stick to the other thing.

Ah, shit.

Alright, that’s the old cleaver.

Good times.

Nope, I’m fucking- Jesus, this is like a movie.

It’s like the scene from They Live.

A fourteen minute battle scene.

It’s totally the scene from They Live.

Woah.

Fuck.

Don’t fuck around.

I think he’s out of potions.

Yeah, yeah, he’s running low.

Don’t fucking shoot me, dude.

Dick move, bro.

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

Don’t, don’t, don’t.

With the stabbies.

Ah, fuck.

Come on.

Yeah, fuck you.

Oh, woah.

Come on, come on, come on.

Nope.

That’s not good.

That’s not good.

That’s not good.

Don’t do the display swings, please.

Yeah.

Nice.

Ooh, that really hurt him.

Cocky.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, he’s done.

Woo.

Oh my god.

Yeah, fuck you.

Jesus, Molotov cocktail.

I thought it said monkey cock.

That about does it for this episode.

The spoils of war.

Dude, we are back from Japan.

Yay.

Yay.

Hello, everybody.

Back from the Nihon.

We are fucked up right now.

We kairimast.

Don’t- Kairimashtazd.

I know less Japanese now than before I went to Japan.

That means returned.

Ah.

Yeah.

It’s a lovely language.

Yeah, it is.

My god, that barrier.

You really feel the language barrier when you’re over there.

I didn’t know what the fuck was happening.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, is this the, uh.

.

.

Oh, yeah.

So, since we’ve played, there’s been an update where, uh, now it’s not the logo.

It’s actually just tips and tricks.

On the loading screens.

Yeah.

Um, I know I was in Old Yharnam in the last episode, uh, but I’m gonna do some shit that I learned about.

Uh, so apparently, this is actually something you told me.

Me? Yeah.

Okay.

Um, so apparently Father Kazgwa Gazgukazgon.

Gazgukon.

Gazgukon.

Gazgukon.

Uh, has a daughter, and you can talk to her before the fight.

Oh, yeah.

Uh, and she gives you a music box, which I guess helps in the fight.

Um.

You wanna do that? Well, we already killed him.

Right.

Uh, so I think she might still be there, because you, you get a thing from finding a pa- Oh, hello, sir.

Apparently, uh, the body that was in the place where you fight Father Ga- Gazgukon.

Gazgukon.

Gazgukon.

Uh, that’s her, her mom.

Oh, really? Yeah.

Well, isn’t that lovely? Yeah, it’s super lovely.

So, we’re gonna go deliver that news to her? Yeah.

Hey, uh, found your dad, killing your mom, killed your dad.

Can I have some stuff? Well, you give her stuff.

Oh.

Cause, cause the thing, oh god, there’s a lycanthrope coming after me.

I didn’t wanna be here.

Guess what I’ve got here for you behind my back.

Here’s a hint, not your parents.

Got your nose.

God damn, god damn, stop, stay away, please.

Just leave me alone for a sec.

Stop.

Yeah.

That’s what I get for fucking being so like, yeah, I got this.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

This game is very humbling when it, uh, comes time to- By the way, this looks, is this more colorful than it was before? Um, I don’t know.

This looks beautiful right now.

This game’s always been beautiful, bro.

It might be, cause you were playing it on the other TV in the other room and it looked very grayed out.

I think it was because, so there’s a point in the game where like it becomes nighttime and right now it’s like dusk, so the sky is all red with the blood of the sinners.

Of the non-believers, yeah, got it.

Sweet.

Okay, hopefully they’re not following me.

And here we go.

So this is the window where you talk to- Oh, nice.

His daughter.

Oh, god.

Oh, hello.

Hi.

It smells like a werewolf.

How’s it going? All right, see ya.

All right, anyway, back to the- Oh, right.

Are you? Oh, well, I’m sure things will work out great for you.

Oh, yeah, like the one on the corpse.

Yeah.

You’re right, I won’t miss it.

Here it is.

Okay, thank you.

Yay.

I like big butts and I cannot lie.

That’s the sound it makes.

Yeah, it’s just because we were fucking doing the, I got sexy back.

Just those little noises people make.

Oh, I gave her the red jeweled brooch and she freaked out.

Oh.

Oh, that’s sad.

That is sad.

And I guess that’s it.

Wait, I think if I go down here now, she’s like, oh, you know what, if I- Yeah.

Oh, yeah, there she is.

Oh, no, no, that’s the dead guy.

Hold on.

Sorry, that happens all the time.

So apparently, like, she comes out of here and she dies.

Really? Yeah, or like her older sister dies or something.

I don’t know.

But you get like an item.

Jesus Christ, man.

So many items that you get from- Yeah, you get like a sick ribbon, dude.

Oh, sweet.

Yeah, pretty sick ribbon.

Yo, that ribbon is tight.

It’s tight.

It’s wet.

It’s hot.

It’s sweet.

It’s a moist ribbon.

Moist is the worst.

I don’t give a fuck about your fucking bullshit whatevers.

Alright, so, great.

I did that.

Yay.

I accomplished my mission, my goal, my calling in life.

Hooray.

So now I’m gonna go back to Old Yharnam.

What about Sad Girl? Oh, I don’t know.

You’re not gonna delight in watching her die? She’ll be there someday.

I guess.

Can I still talk to her? Oh, she’s just crying now.

See what you made me do, Dan? What a puss.

Tell that to her.

She’s the one who needs to get her shit together.

Yeah, that’s what I meant.

Both my parents are dead.

Suck it up.

One of them was mutated and the other one is a shambled corpse on top of a roof for some reason.

Yeah, that is kind of fucked up.

If you did that in order, you’d be like, don’t worry, I’ll find your mother.

And then you come back, it’s like, not only did I find your mother, but I killed your dad.

And here’s the brooch she was wearing on her dead neck.

She was dead as shit.

Anyway, she’s like slathered in blood.

I’ll see you later.

Do you want me to pick you up some milk? Yeah, do it.

I’m going to the shop.

Going to the store.

Alright, back to Old Yharnam.

Sweet.

I might be able to level, actually.

From all that Lycanthrope killing.

From all that your dad killing.

I already did that.

I already turned in those blood echoes.

Oh, gotcha.

Why do they call them blood echoes? Does blood echo? I thought you were going to answer that.

Here’s a trivia tip for you, Dan.

Why do they call them blood echoes? That’s what I thought you were doing.

And I’m like, why? So check this out.

Yo, you want to talk about secrets right now? Did I already do this on the show? No, I didn’t.

It’s right there.

Secret secrets hurt someone, Arin.

Secret secrets are no fun.

Alright.

Let’s continue with the conversation that I was having before you said that.

If you tell a secret new, hooray, hooray, I am a Jew.

Believe that’s how the rhyme goes.

So, up here, there’s some secrets.

There’s this, which isn’t really that secret.

You get some madman’s knowledge.

Oh, whatever.

No big deal.

Alright, but see down there, down there, there’s some, like, I don’t know if you can see them.

There’s these little guys and they’re praying to this, like, bloody ass motherfucker.

You’ll see it when I go down there.

Okay.

Are they friendly? No, they’re the worst.

Cool.

I’ve, I’ve died many a time.

Oh, they’re that bad? Yeah.

So, right here, you want to draw it down.

You’re on this little scaffolding.

You crash through five things and land right in front of the praying thing, so you’re like, oh, hello, hello, hello, sir.

That has happened.

Oh, I’m sure.

I, uh, oh, they see me.

Do they? Yeah.

The screamers.

Alright.

I’ll just stay perfectly still.

So, you want to run? And I taught you that double tap jump.

There’s people who are watching the whole series, so check this out.

You run and then double tap.

And then there, you made it to the other side.

Oh, nice.

So, now you can get this guy.

I was actually really scared that I didn’t make it.

Yeah.

So, you get the bloody messenger head bandage.

I don’t know what it does, but you get it.

Just took the bloody head bandage off a dead guy? Yeah, sure, why not? I, clearly, there’s no reason why not.

Of course.

You did it.

It’s a game called Bloodborne.

Blood’s normal.

That is normalcy.

If there’s no blood, it’s weird.

That’s the weird thing.

The world we hath been born into.

Alright, so I’ve got to fucking get the fuck out of here, because these guys are going to chase me.

Whoa.

See ya.

Oh, cool.

I want this.

Give me.

Yay.

Okay.

Okay, bye.

Okay, okay.

There’s like 70 of them.

See ya.

I could try to take them out one by one.

Let’s see if I can do that.

Oh, God.

Oh, that actually scared me.

Keep running.

Keep running, please.

Alright, I’m going to go up the ladder now.

Jeez, man.

See you guys.

Okay, please don’t follow me.

Oh, God.

Okay.

You gave me quite the fright.

Yeah.

Alright, I’ll actually fight him next time.

Not a fan of things with red eyes.

Gotta be honest.

Yeah, they are a little creepy.

Now you open this door, and you got a shortcut now.

Do you remember Benicula? I do.

The vampire rabbit? I never actually read it, though.

Neither did I.

It’s just the cover of the rabbit with red eyes scared me as a kid.

Really? Yeah, it was scared by many things.

He wasn’t like a vampire, though.

He, like, sucked fruit.

Is that right? Yeah, that was his thing.

He, like, sucked out, like, vegetables and stuff.

I don’t know.

Like a poo.

Like a poos.

I don’t know what that means.

Like a poo.

That did not clear anything up.

Yeah, like a poo.

And they give you parts.

These guys suck, okay? So they’ll fucking grab you, and then I think they barf on you? Yeah, they poison you.

Mmm.

I’ve known girls at bars like that.

Oh my God, hey! They grab you and barf on you, and then you’re poisoned? Yeah, they suck.

When they get their arms outstretched to grab you, run away, please.

Wow, just like girls at that bar.

Noted.

I’d like to think that you could make an analogy about anything with a girl in a bar.

Let’s try it.

So I was just walking around covered in blood in my trench coat with my blunderbuss and my saw cleaver.

Oh man, if I had a nickel for every bar-traveling girl I’ve seen with a blunderbuss.

Good old blunderbuss.

Oh, that attack.

Wasn’t it? Oh yeah.

That’ll, like, guarantee poison you.

That’s the pizza pasta move from, uh, Original Punch-Out.

Oh shit.

Yeah, where he just hugs you and then just beats the shit out of you.

Dick move, pizza pasta.

Sup, pygmy.

Marmoset.

Shrew.

Ooh, they are ugly.

Barry’s favorite animal, apparently.

Ha! Okay.

Whoa.

Hey, chill out.

If they team up on you, you’re fucked.

Like, oh God, oh God.

Just like that.

Wow.

They certainly do seem to appreciate teamwork.

Hi-yah! Hey, check this out.

Hi-yah! Nice.

Yeah.

Ooh, ooh.

We’ll call it a draw.

Ooh, ooh.

That’s smart.

Ooh, ooh.

Okay, okay.

Chill out.

Chill out! Chill the fuck out.

I’m sorry.

I didn’t mean to say that about your mom.

Yeah.

And, yah! How do you like that? Yeah, I like it.

Little fucking cloak-y baboos over here.

Cloak-y baboos? Yeah, there’s a little cloak-y baboo right there.

There’s the adult, but there’s the baboo.

I tried to bring it up at the, uh, shareholders meeting.

Can we rename them cloak-y baboos? Surprisingly little response.

Oh, there’s a lot of cloak-y babooage going on here.

Cloak-y babage? Yeah.

They see you, and then they scream, and then they alert all the other ones.

Cloak-y babage sounds like a pornographic actress.

Cloak-y babage? Yeah.

Oh, is this that scene with Evan Roberts and cloak-y babage? Evan Roberts? Is that a real porn star? It’s something like that.

Okay.

There’s that one dude, Evan something, with the long hair and the chiseled face.

And he’s in everything.

All I know is Peter North.

Peter, yep, Peter North is another one.

He was the guy who had, like, the amazing cum shots.

What? Just, what a thing to be known for.

No, he had, like, crazy, like, it was, like, gallons.

Hi, my name’s Peter.

Peter North.

You may recognize me from my amazing cum shots.

No, they were insane.

It would just be, like, boom, like a fire hose.

It would be, like, a fucking, you know, when you, when you, like, put frosting into, like, a bag, and then you nip the tip of the bag, and then you just go, it was like that.

Wow.

Yeah.

That’s attractive.

Yeah.

I, I know there are, I haven’t really watched too many, whoa, wait, actually, yeesh, oh, that’s what they were praying to? Yeah, they were, like, oh, god of whatever, I think that’s the blood starved beast, actually.

Really? That’s gonna come to life? Well, it might just be, like, a second blood starved beast.

That’s unfortunate.

That’s definitely what it looks like.

For you.

Oh, well, a few notes.

It’s got cute feet.

Time for the scourge, but warnger’s warm blood.

Okay.

And he made a pose.

Thank you.

That’s what, like, all the notes are, seriously.

They’ll just be, like, great time for having rolling, and it’s, like, what? Oh, you said they only have, like, a limited amount of things to pick from, right? Yeah.

Like words? Yeah, so, you get, like, you get, like, phrases, and then you can fill in the blanks of the phrases with, like, a list of words that they have.

Oh, like mad libs.

Yeah, sort of.

Sweet.

And it’s, it’s interesting how they, like, use it, because it’ll be, like, I walked down to the toilet today.

I was having a very smelly day.

Okay.

Alright.

Very clever.

Smelly was my favorite word with mad libs when I was six.

Really? Yeah.

Yeah.

Hey.

And there she saw a ass.

A ass.

Spiky tops.

Beeloo.

Beeloo.

Redder sky.

That is pretty.

Yeah.

Stupid.

Oh, shit.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, I went there.

Dropping bombs like a motherfucking bomb dropper.

Did you see me go there? Yeah, I saw you go there.

I saw you take a vacation.

I saw you empty out your bag, buy some souvenirs, come right back, and go fuck them jet lag.

Oh, wait.

Hang on one sec.

Can we pause? Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

You might have noticed it jumped.

It’s because Dan had to move his car.

Yes, I was parked behind Susie.

Sorry.

Sorry, everybody.

Alright, so I’m just here to level up.

They might have also noticed it jumped because we said we’ll be right back.

Hold on, pause the episode.

Might be the case.

Boop.

Boop.

Boop.

Those settings, those traits that you have and the numbers next to them, is 18 the max, like in Dungeons and Dragons? No.

Great.

Fuck no.

I’m at like 40 or some shit at home.

Oh, shatzkies.

That’s incredible.

You don’t know how freaking good I am at this game.

I just remember playing Dungeons and Dragons as a kid and being like, I want all 18s.

And then like you get older and you realize like 10 is normal.

Like 13 is like super genius.

15 is pretty much demigod.

18, you can break the earth with your mind.

And I was like, yeah, that one.

That’s what I want.

That’s the one.

So what I want for my bartender.

Is there a Dungeons and Dragons where you can just be normal dudes? Yeah, sure.

And you’re not like, you’re not all warriors going out on a quest.

The only limit of Dungeons and Dragons is your imagination.

And whether your parents think it’s satanic.

Yeah, that’s probably important.

That was like the huge fucking controversy when I was a little kid, too.

Really? Really? Isn’t that stupid? Dungeons and Dragons? Well, it’s the people who don’t play it.

They’re like, oh, there’s wizardry.

It’s the occult.

Like people thought Harry Potter was satanic.

Did they? Yeah.

You remember that? I don’t.

Same with Pokemon.

Really? Plus Pokemon had the added like evolution thing.

Well, to be honest, in our Pokemon rap, we did include actually Satan.

That’s true.

Forgot about that.

That’s true.

And straight up toilet.

One of your best work.

Thanks.

Thanks.

I remember sitting at a Starbucks at 11 at night on a Friday by myself with my head in my hands.

Writing toilet Pokemon names.

Shit.

I got slow poisoning.

Hold on a second.

Yeah, I should get some antidotes.

I just realized I should probably get some antidotes.

Do you not have any? I do.

There we go.

Well then.

Then we’re good.

Yeah, cause this boss I’m about to fight and totally going to lose and give up on.

Great.

They did the antidote thing.

Poisons.

Oh.

Yeah, pretty dangerous.

Does that antidote thing.

Does that little antidote thing, you know what I’m saying? What is the name of the boss? Bloodstarved.

Oh, this is the Bloodstarved.

Okay, sweet.

I’ve wanted to see this.

This is the one that I was going on a rage tweet fest over.

This is the one that people have come up to me and I’ve been like, Oh, there you are.

You funny little fella.

Yeah.

Okay.

You’re dead.

He’s silly boy.

Oh, he’s scared.

Arin, let him go.

Just put him, put a cup over him and let him outside.

He does scurry away.

Like he’s like pulling a giant glass down over him.

And then like, you’re like, fuck, I need a magazine to like slide under.

And then he, and then he like, you put the cup upside down and then he’s just like, you’re like, come out, come out.

And it just won’t come out.

And you’re like, and it just makes you like progressively more and more uncomfortable.

You’re like, fine.

I’ll just leave the cup outside.

And then you come out in the morning and he’s gone.

And you’re like, okay.

You get sad cause he’s gone.

You’re kind of hoping he’d still be there and be like, Hey little buddy, you haven’t left.

Hey, it’s much better out there in the real world for you.

Like I could just poke a hole in like the top of the thing and just leave a stick and a leaf in there for you.

He like fucking waits for you to show up and then he leaves and you’re like, I’m an asshole.

I just want to see it.

This is making me sadder.

Yeah.

Wait, let me, let me see if I got some clothes.

Cause I learned some shit.

Nope.

This is the most poison resistant thing I have.

Cool.

This should work out well.

That one’s just really weak.

My friend called me and he was like, dude, has Arin played the blood star beast yet? And I was like, not on the show.

And he was like, good.

Let me know when he does.

Cause that thing is going to fucking make him cry.

I’m like, dude, you sadistic bastard.

You’ve never even met him.

Oh, it already has.

Oh yeah.

I’m going to fight this guy once just to show you how fucking hard it is.

And then I’m never going to fight it again.

Okay.

So there it is.

The trumpet section has begun.

Hold on.

Come here baby.

Oh, that’s ugly.

That is super fucking ugly.

Bang.

Nice.

Yeah.

Oh, real hard Arin.

Oh dude.

I mean, I’ve learned things about it.

Right.

But it’s fucking, oh God, it’s so fucking hard.

It’s got very long arms.

Well, this isn’t the hard section.

It’s just like whatever.

It’s fighting you at the end.

But when it gets like to 50% health or something, um, it has like auto poison.

So if you get near it, it starts poisoning you.

Yeah.

It fucking sucks.

And then if it just attacks you, then you’re just screwed.

Great.

Yeah.

So this is not easy.

You should just go up to it and be like, uh, excuse me.

Those arms look like hugging machines.

Bring it on in.

I’m going to need you to come on in.

Come on baby.

And then he gets into it and like the arms wrap around you twice.

It’s like a slow smile.

Curl up.

This is what I’ve always wanted.

And you fucking like shink out your foot weapon.

And it’s like, Oh, you know what I could.

All right.

I might try this a second time actually.

Cause I didn’t, I didn’t equip a fire paper and that’s what I should be using that fire paper.

Yeah.

So like it covers your weapon in fire.

Oh, cool.

Pretty weak to fire.

I don’t know, dude.

You’re doing pretty well.

Well, that’s because he’s not poisoning me.

I see.

Don’t fucking do that.

You’re making me nervous.

Oh, now I’m poisoned.

What’s the story with these beasts? Did they ever say? I don’t know.

There’s probably some lower somewhere in some fucking book.

Are they like guarding something or are they just, they just around gross monsters.

So bitch, get you from behind motherfucker.

Okay.

All right.

Okay.

About that behind thing.

Sorry.

I’m just straight dead.

Okay.

You died.

Thanks Obama.

Did you say that on the episode? I don’t think you did.

No, you should share that.

It’s worth it.

Apparently Ross was telling me this.

Apparently there’s a dark souls mod whenever you die.

It just says, thanks Obama.

Wow.

Look at that sweet fucking facial makeup you’ve got going on.

It’s not, it’s actually just a coagulated end trails.

Yeah.

I’m very shiny right now.

Looks good though.

But I’m cute.

Like those eyes.

At least I’m styling the fucking forever.

21 jacket right here.

Yeah.

It is very stylish this game.

So here’s what I’m going to do.

I’m going to motherfucking equip this fire paper on my sword and then I’ll go into antidote mode and then I’ll do a lot more damage.

Uh, so here we go.

We don’t know.

Ah, frick it.

We don’t need no paper.

Let the fire paper burn.

Burn, fire paper, burn.

There’s somebody else fighting the blood starved beast right now.

Whoa.

Yeah.

You see that? Yeah.

He’s cool.

Yeah.

He’s doing a great job.

Thanks for helping.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

Stop it.

Ow.

Ow.

So mean.

Not hurtful.

Oh wow.

That is doing damage.

Yeah.

It does way more.

Ah, stop it.

Stop it.

Do each of them have a weakness against something? Uh, yeah.

A lot of them are weak to like all elementals actually.

Um, I mean it just makes your weapons stronger, but some of them are like resistant to certain elementals.

So I want them to be weak to something random like blue cheese.

I got my blue cheese paper.

I’m going to rub it on my sword and get it all blue cheese-ified.

There’s a little bit on this crouton.

Let me throw it at him and it like burst into flames.

Goes into his secret blue cheese form.

Oh God.

This monster smelling like blue cheese would be terrible.

He’s doing that thing.

It’s a good time to whale on him.

Oh.

That’s cool that you’d think that.

Oh God.

Oh God.

Cause I’d see him doing that thing and I’d be like, good time to run the fuck away.

Take my antidote.

Get some motherfucking health up in this bitch.

Got to get my fucking blood echoes back.

Oh God.

Oh please.

Stay away.

I’m trying to heal.

Jeez man.

Ah God damn it.

Damn it.

Hold on.

I got to fucking.

I can do it.

I can do this.

No.

I’m going to die.

Ah God.

Health.

Blood.

Antidote.

Oh God.

Oh my God dude.

I might.

Oh my God.

I might fucking do this.

Get him.

Oh fuck.

Ah no.

Where is he? Where is he? Okay.

I’m nervous.

I’m nervous as fuck.

I’ve never beaten him at this low level.

Ah damn.

He did the yell.

Ah blue cheese.

Ah.

Blue cheese.

Stay away.

Ah.

Ah.

Motherfucker.

Ah.

Ah.

You’re fucking dead.

You’re dead bitch.

Oh my God.

I did it.

Great fucking job.

Oh.

I got the chalice.

You earned a trophy.

Yeah.

Fucking put your sword up victoriously.

So your other ghostly friends can see.

See what I’ve done.

See.

See.

Just see.

Ah.

There it is.

Close enough.

See the victor.

Yay.

They all left.

There’s nobody around.

Hello.

Whoa.

This door’s already open.

Oh my God.

Is that good? Well sort of.

Okay.

Well I don’t want to go in there yet.

Okay.

Cause I don’t have the key to get any further.

Cool.

Down with the sickness on that one.

Is that just cause you beat the blood star beast? I don’t know why.

Fuck you.

Right in the gut.

Oh fuck.

Fell on the floor like your mom don’t care.

Oh but I went to college.

What? I’m just I don’t know.

No it’s your mom doesn’t care that you went to college.

No.

Frankly.

Well she doesn’t care even though you went to college.

She was trained for you long ago.

Get over it.

I’m sorry mom.

Yeah.

I’m sorry I didn’t go to college but I have a great job.

I played video games for a living.

Yeah you do.

No majors for this.

I wonder if colleges will start teaching how to be a let’s play.

Or like a YouTuber of some kind.

Maybe.

I feel like that’s more of an intern type thing.

Meaning.

Like that’s like on the job kind of stuff.

Oh yeah.

Like what the fuck are they going to teach.

Okay here.

So here’s what you want to do.

You want to make a thumbnail.

Okay.

Oh.

And you want to have your big stupid obnoxious face front and center with like a starburst background in bright colors.

You talk about anyone in particular.

Yeah.

Every thumbnail we’ve ever made.

Cool.

Every thumbnail that has a live action bit in it is just like me or you or Ross making a dumb face.

Well I do remember that.

Like that was like YouTube 101 when we first started doing videos.

They were like make sure your thumbnails have close ups of faces on them.

Because that’s what people’s eyes are drawn to.

It’s more engaging.

Exactly.

Weird right.

Yeah.

Dude you could be a college professor in the YouTube course.

I’ve always wanted to be a professor.

Yeah.

I think that would be an awesome job.

A YouTube professor.

Yes.

Specifically a YouTube professor.

I do profess.

Yeah.

Play video games and hope people watch.

This concludes our semester.

Try as hard as you can to be funny which ends up making you not funny.

Feel free to fuck off for the last 90 minutes of class.

Do you want to work on your YouTube channel right now.

It’s fine.

Do you remember when the substitute teacher would come in for one day and you’d be like oh my god the sweetest party.

Yeah.

And like everyone would just be like doodling in their notebooks and stuff and she’d be up there reading a magazine like nobody cares.

We actually had this like famous substitute teacher in our school.

There’s such a thing.

Yeah.

He was like this because they have like a group of subs.

There’s like four or five substitute teachers that they just like pull out of.

Damn.

So they’re like constantly working.

But there was this one guy who was like infamous because he was like super jacked and he was like super no bullshit.

And he carried around a gallon jug of water.

And he just would like do the lesson that day.

So it wasn’t like a sub day.

It was like ah fuck it’s this guy.

He’s crazy jacked man.

Now we’re doing fucking real shit.

Welcome to Trigonometry fuckers.

It’s going to be a whole lot different around here from now on.

Just eats a bunch of horse pills.

All right fuckers listen up.

Oh whoa whoa whoa.

Oh God I’ve heard about this guy.

What is he.

OK.

Oh God.

So he just like shows up at random.

Is he saying your bag of crap.

If he kills you he sends you to a different world.

Oh shit.

Yeah.

So oh God.

Oh my God he’s very strong.

OK.

God he really reminds me of him.

Mad TV.

Whoa whoa whoa.

Stay away please.

Oh God.

Now I have this guy.

Now I have this guy.

Now this is happening.

I don’t want to die please.

Mad TV used to have a sketch called Senor Bag of Crap who was a fat luchadori wrestler played by Will Sasa.

And he just had like a doggy bag filled with weird stuff.

Maybe like I am Senor Bag of Crap.

I think I remember that.

Yeah it was from it was from the L.

S.

O.

WIPO things.

I feel like I am L.

S.

O.

WIPO.

Maybe it maybe it means something different in Spanish.

It means the WIPO OF ASSES.

Oh God he’s very strong.

Wow.

Wow.

Oh my God.

What is in that bag.

It’s just bodies I guess.

I guess I probably could have figured that out.

Oh God.

Oh God.

God he’s insane.

Do you have any range tax.

What is he doing.

Not really.

Oh God.

What the fuck.

Stay away stay away stay away.

No no no.

Oh I’m dead.

Oh no.

So to another dimension now.

Maybe.

It might be if he just like grabs you.

Back up your ass with the resurrection.

Send your ass to another dimension.

I made those up.

They don’t fit very well but still.

No that’s pretty good.

Yeah.

I was listening to Coldplay on the way over here and I was like he definitely just rhymed back with back.

Did I ever tell you when you were there for when we were on the Magfest flight.

The flight to Magfest and there was like a guy that.

Oh yeah here we go.

Oh dear.

I have to have to cut this story short.

So I’m in his bag.

Right.

And he left me here.

Pretty fucked up.

Weird.

Yeah.

That is super bizarre.

How do you get back.

I think you just light a lamp and you can transport.

But I might as well take advantage of this area.

Okay.

I’m in like a weird new world.

I’m excited.

Wow.

Look at this.

So spooky scary.

Everything here is probably like will decimate me in like a second.

Oh I’m in Yargool.

Okay.

So many fresh pots to destroy with my head.

Yay.

I’m a roll into these pots.

I told you about my shameful experience downstairs right.

What.

With the women and just what I needed.

What.

There’s.

Oh yes.

Yes.

Okay.

That’s a great story.

Well.

Let’s not build it up too much.

But like I.

One of my favorite things to do is to just sing famous songs in stupid voices.

And then put both my fists in the air like a yay motion.

So I was doing that in the parking lot.

Up to this place.

As like.

I did what I needed.

And then I put my hands in the air like yay.

And I look over and like less than two feet away from me are five like professional business women.

Just like staring at me from like the place below us.

Oh God.

One of the most shameful moments of my life.

Oh man.

I would have owned it.

I would have been like.

Yeah.

Like thumbs up just looking directly at him.

You know a good dong when you hear one.

It just could not have been worse.

It could not have been worse timing.

I like looked over and they’re like inches from me.

That’s like some sitcom shit right there.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It’s not funny.

You fucker.

Oh wait.

You know what.

I think.

Oh shit.

I read about this.

So she won’t.

She won’t chill with you.

But.

Oh fuck.

Let’s give her a little red red wine.

I don’t have.

Oh man.

So if you wear father gas coo coo wag wag wagons.

Yes.

Outfit.

Then if you talk to her she’s like oh you’re a man of the church.

And then she.

Oh.

She goes to the church.

So you should have plundered guest coins body.

Well no you have to buy it.

Oh weird.

Yeah so I might just go and do that.

I might just go and spend that blood echoes.

What kind of unscrupulous store would sell a dead man’s clothing.

The like the hunter’s dream crazy dream.

Uh.

Demon store.

He doesn’t need this anymore.

And it’s funny.

And it’s totally cool and looks way better on you than it ever did on him.

Because he wasn’t even that cool in the first place.

Sorry I know you’re not supposed to be killed.

Dead but.

That guy was something of a dick.

It’s kind of a dick.

Father gets.

And his daughter’s there like crying because she’s got her gold ruby orb or whatever.

And then.

And then.

This is very sad.

Oh God what are these things.

I’ve backed myself into a sad corner.

What the fuck.

This is not what I’m used to.

Yeah well you took a different elevator.

Didn’t you.

Well yeah I got here from the sad sack guy.

He’s carrying around his sad sack.

But yeah these are different and they’re much easier to kill.

Oh this is so nice.

Oh how refreshing.

Oh this is a lot better.

It does the boss.

Does the boss make a different.

I’ll take you to a dimension of ultimate evil and suffering where all the enemies are a quarter as difficult as the first ones you’re used to.

Hello sir.

He just woke up.

He just woke the fuck up.

Yeah.

He just fucking his alarm went off and he was like.

Time to kill.

Wait do you mean he has time to kill or it is time to kill.

I think both.

Okay.

That was the joke.

Oh shit.

It’s a multilayered joke.

Oh well very well done then Arin.

Yeah thanks.

I thought of it immediately and purposely.

God.

Is that your A game over there.

Because it’s.

You brought it today.

Bro you don’t even know.

Whoa.

Okay.

Oh he’s.

Oh it’s another one of those guys.

Yeah.

God he’s terrifying.

No.

I’m outie.

I don’t want.

Oh.

Oh no.

Can I be outie please.

No.

Question.

Why is it so difficult.

Are all these guys.

Yeah this guy’s alive.

Five alive baby.

Oh did you ever drink that.

Five alive.

Yeah.

What.

Five alive.

Yeah.

What.

What is that.

It was like.

I hesitate to say fruit juice because pretty sure there was no fruit involved whatsoever.

It had quote unquote natural flavors.

Yeah.

Meaning there was a picture of actual food on it.

And that it was grown in a lab in New Jersey.

Oh go on with the story.

No just five alive was the jam when I was when I was little like.

Yeah it was it was that or Kool-Aid.

It’s what all the what all the cool kids were drinking.

Oh yeah Kool-Aid the bomb diggity.

Yeah.

I doubt five alive still around.

It might be around in some like Utah or some shit.

Like yeah.

Some weird.

God this guy.

Whoa.

Oh my god.

Is he trying to beat you with other bodies.

Does he take me to a different world again.

Well you die again.

Yeah by the same guy.

He’s like ridiculously hard.

I mean you saw that shit he’s really hard.

He hit me what.

Don’t hate me.

I’m not.

That’s I’m just don’t fucking give your disapproving.

That’s that’s not against you.

You want to play.

You want to.

You want the controller.

You want to play.

Maybe give it a little try for yourself.

Really.

I’m back here again.

Is it worth it to go after this guy.

Oh the dead.

That’s what somebody said.

Cool.

I’m going to give that a fine.

Oh I see.

Oh the dead.

Nice.

Okay that guy’s still alive.

I mean dead.

Still dead.

I hope so.

Where the fuck was it.

Oh it was over here.

God damn fuck this game.

I’ve never experienced this part at this level before.

Right.

So it’s super hard all of a sudden.

It’s a little unnerving.

I might actually fire paper this shit so I’m stronger.

Paper could you come into my office for a second.

You’re fine.

I have a little something to tell you.

You’re not going to like it.

Just hear me out.

Despicable lore.

But it is all thanks to charge attack.

Just hear me out.

You’re fired and I require all of your bonus money.

Wait.

Everywhere.

But.

Also shut up.

And get out of my office.

Also I really don’t much care for you or your wife.

I wish you wouldn’t hang around the office so much.

Is it weird to you when people don’t know how to use the word but correctly.

And I’m not talking about like weird but stuff but they’ll they’ll just use and where it should be but like you know you’re starting the opposite.

I don’t.

Can you give an example.

Can’t think of one at the moment.

I just read one this morning which is why it’s on my mind.

It’ll come back stronger than ever.

So somebody uses but instead of and.

Yeah.

Okay.

Like I’m having a good day but everything’s going great for me.

I’m having a good day and I died.

I see today.

I see.

And it sucked.

I want to kill this guy.

So I’m going to the end.

That’s my story.

Great.

Did you like it.

Fuck I died.

To the fourth dimension.

Well I was like I could be safe and go in this lamp that I just lit.

This is probably more along the lines of what people were expecting from a blood born blood born.

This is ridiculously hard and I don’t know how to fight these guys because I’ve never encountered them before.

So there you go.

Perhaps just.

Yeah just let it go huh.

So I forget what are you fucking frozen.

What are you fucking Anna.

I don’t know.

She the hot blonde or there’s no hot blonde.

Oh how could you say that about possibly Anna.

And as a brunette.

How is she.

Yeah.

OK.

Oh you can’t get in from that fucking.

Oh my God.

Like.

So do you just like stick around here and just chill out with all the dudes with all the bros.

These fucking bros over here with their bro bags.

They do have bro bags.

They’re like so.

Yes my bro.

Yeah.

It’s immerse.

I’m going to try to pebble this guy.

See if the other one doesn’t see me.

Yeah.

Oh.

It hit my feet.

I can’t believe you.

How dare you hit my feet like that.

I can’t believe you.

How dare you hit my feet.

I’m going to walk slowly towards you.

They have a diversion rack.

He’s like he’s like humming a tune in his head like.

Don’t do your fucking whatever his headphones.

Sorry I like to get hyped.

I like to get hyped before a battle.

This is who I am.

You’re fucking.

God damn.

He’s strong as fuck dude.

You can tumble all you want.

But I want to kill him.

Ow ow ow.

All right.

Fuck you.

I’m out.

I’m out.

I don’t even want to deal with your garbage.

Ow.

It’s all about that extra syllable at the end.

Ow.

I was just trying to get souls to get the fucking emblem and then this shit happened.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I’m I’m super enraged right there with you off camera.

I just grinded a bunch of blood echoes so that I could buy this hunter chief emblem.

Oh I think I mentioned it in a previous episode.

But like the last one before you started grinding you know I continue.

So when you start from the cathedral ward and you go up the giant windy stairs there’s a door that says you need an emblem to open it.

And that’s the emblem that you need.

That’s a viable thing.

Yeah.

Well you get it from a hunter I think.

So it’s sort of like oh that hunter held the key.

I can’t believe it.

Video game.

Yeah he’s got that.

And here is gym clothes.

Here’s the green card key.

That’s weird.

Here’s the red card key.

And here is my nuts.

You look at him he’s just holding his nuts.

Descending slowly.

How about that.

Toward your face.

Does it do anything for you.

It’s called a teabag.

That’s the scientific term.

Is it called a teabag because you just dip it.

I think so.

I think.

Oh well I feel like we’ve questioned that once before.

Yeah that would make sense.

What it would make sense that that’s what a teabag is or that we’ve talked about teabags in our daily lives.

You know now that I think about it both.

Yeah.

Both absolutely.

We are questioning folk.

Well that’s awesome.

Yeah the visceral attack man it really.

There’s a perk you can get that gives you health back when you do the visceral attack so.

Whoa.

Yeah pretty baller pretty baller on top of the game.

Super bowler.

Super bowler.

B A W L.

That’s how you spell it.

Thank you.

All right open up the gate.

What a lovely gate.

Oh whoa.

Oh what a lovely gate.

Easy there dance party USA.

All right so this mother fucker.

This guy right here with the fucking come lau hat.

Mm hmm.

He shoots fire and it like kills you immediately.

So you know.

Ow ow ow.

Did he do it when when is he going to do it.

God why does he always do it every time he does it.

Oh there’s a crow.

Hello.

Thanks.

I like that he does it like a little watering can.

Yeah.

This is what I used to fucking set my begonias a flame.

My begonias run on fire.

Mm hmm.

Fuck you.

Yeah.

Fucking come.

My begonias bring all the boys to the yard.

Damn right they’re better than yours.

My begonias are on fire.

Get it.

Because it’s a favorable.

I’m dead.

I wish I had my flamethrower again.

My dad gave me that flamethrower.

It made me happy.

My dad was a serial killer.

I threw many flames with it.

The end.

He would have looked proud.

I’m dead.

Oh poison nice.

Hell yeah.

Just every every story that anyone recounts on this game ends with I’m dead.

I’m dead.

Yeah.

By the way also I’m dead.

By the way.

No.

Yeah.

I was from around here I’d be chained up in a house.

Yeah I’d be upset like you.

But you know what I’m not.

I take this shit in stride.

How about fuck you.

Yeah I don’t think you’re in a position to be making demands.

I do think it’s funny.

I think it’s hilarious.

A guy in a thin glass house and me with all these weapons all these dirty weapons.

I could easily like poke my gun through one of these like grills he’s got.

Yeah.

Come on and go well yeah.

I never understood the purpose of those bars on windows.

It’s so people don’t.

They’re just going to send the thinnest thief through them.

And now there’s a rampage of thieving little people.

Oh my God.

Just like anorexic thieves.

Yeah.

They use what they have.

They do what they can.

I’ve come to steal your stuff but I’m very weak.

Off during hunts and besides.

Yeah shut up.

I’m just hoping you activate something later or something.

Are you the spider friend that I’ve heard so much about.

Really.

The spiders around here.

Oh cool.

OK.

Sweet.

All right.

Sweet.

So I told her to go to Odin Temple Chapel or whatever.

I hope she’s not evil.

There’s a lot of people who like if you tell about Odin Chapel they’re actually bad and they’ll like kill everybody.

Dang it.

Yeah it’s pretty fucked up.

But it’s sort of like the real world I guess you can’t trust anyone.

Who.

You don’t have to tell me bro.

First thing I did when I got my new iPhone was update my note list of all my friends who might betray me.

Oh you too.

In percentage order of likeliness of betrayal.

You know they have an app for that.

Oh yeah.

You trap.

I trap.

I trap.

They do all for.

I don’t know what the fuck these people are talking about.

They’re just fucking.

I knock on their door and they give me sass.

What am I the sass deliveryman.

Trick or treat.

Raisins.

Oh.

They just start slashing.

Fuckers have a baby Ruth in here somewhere.

I know it’s king size.

I can smell it.

I can smell king size.

How come that guy was not attacking me this whole time.

Oh god these two guys were not attacking me this whole time.

They were like let her enjoy her Halloween.

I’m getting ganged up on.

Yeah.

Best to uh.

Best to really be specific with that.

God damn dude.

Chill the fuck out.

Damn.

Damn.

No.

Yay Arin.

I’ve fallen and I’m gonna get up in a different place.

He’s like you die die die die.

Probably pretty useful.

Oh she’s here.

Check it.

Yeah.

Sup.

That’s the.

Oh.

Safe as it’ll ever be.

It’s safe unless you’re up hot.

In your debt huh.

Oh she gave me the curtsy.

Oh that’s nice.

Oh received blood treatment sure.

Uh oh.

What’s she gonna do to me.

Yeah.

I don’t know.

She’s attractive enough where you might as well do it.

Blood of Ariana.

Damn awesome.

Sweet.

What does that do? Fuck I got some fucking shit.

Does she give you a crazy blood transfusion? Heals HP and temporarily boosts stamina recovery speed.

Wow.

Dude that’s rad.

That is intimate of her.

Just be like here take my platelets.

Take my globules.

You showed me a place where I can sit.

Let me give you three pints of my blood.

Well she’s safe there now.

She got creepy.

Oh because it’s church.

Creepy crouchy guy hanging out with her.

She’s like you didn’t tell me about creepy crouchy guy.

She shows up and she’s like ah safe place and he’s like hello.

Oh god.

Sorry you’re doing anything later? Like crouching? Do you drink coffee? I don’t.

I’m too close to the ground.

On account of this crouching.

It’s not something I have to do.

Just something I want to do.

Take a seat on the crouch.

I mean the couch.

It’s a little croucher joke.

We actually don’t have a couch here.

Just a bunch of rubble that used to be pots.

Thank you.

He always replaces them too.

Then I show up and crash them again.

Oh finally.

My years at the potter’s wheel have paid off.

Damn it.

Oh yeah thank you.

Thank you for that.

Thank you for also flying up in the air I guess.

Thank you Obama.

Thank you.

Yeah it’s genuinely happy.

Dude wow Obama.

Oh thanks Obama.

Thanks.

Yeah see maybe that’s what it means.

Whoa.

He’s actually trying to protect me.

Oh god.

Oh god he’s very strong.

Yeah wow.

What the fuck was that? Oh I got shot.

Damn dude you’re getting fucked up now.

Yeah but I got my echoes back.

I don’t think I.

You know what I was like.

I don’t make excuses but.

But here’s the excuse.

In my other play through I didn’t know how to get to this area so I was leveling up a lot.

So I’m assuming I’m a lot stronger than I should be.

So I should probably play it safe.

Wouldn’t you agree.

Play it safe in what sense? Play it safe in the sense that I don’t die all the time.

Oh got it.

Yeah that would probably be more effective.

I thought there was a specific thing that you were doing.

Just not suck is what you were saying.

Well I just have to assume that these people are stronger than they.

Than they appear to be I guess.

Right.

You just want to do a lot of running.

Yeah.

Well yeah I’m just gonna book it through like most of this.

I’m gonna kill this motherfucking fire guy though cause fuck him.

Do it.

Cause he sucks.

Don’t fucking hurt me crow.

Hey crow chill out.

Why aren’t you flying crow.

You too skeevy to fly crow.

I mean yeah obviously.

He’s dead so he’s not gonna answer me.

Also that.

Also he’s dead.

When he was alive he wasn’t flying he was just kind of fluttering a bit.

Yeah the crows here seem very diseased.

Unlike the people which are the picture of health.

Well this guy is.

I mean look at him he’s got that pale white skin.

He’s just napping casually with his lies about.

He’s very tall and strong.

Well dressed.

Yeah.

And he has a job.

He’s like a watchman.

There’s gotta be somewhere to fuck him.

Well I’m just saying you know.

Employed, tall, handsome.

That’s all you really need.

Is it Arin.

Yeah.

Doesn’t matter whether you’re nice.

No.

Absolutely not.

No.

But I don’t know why you would even think that.

How employed.

Unless you’re getting paid to be nice.

No dice like that.

No no no.

Whoa chill the fuck out bro.

God every time.

Damn watch out for the gun.

Just shooting this.

Nah he’s cool.

He’s cool.

Is he? Yeah there we go.

Fuck you.

Stupid piece of shit fucking.

Yeah you see that.

I can dodge out of the way of his light speed bullets.

Oh that’s the gun guy.

Come here.

Well.

Dead dead dead.

That’s the way I like to do it.

Why you can just dodge bullets like that huh.

Yeah because I’m that cool.

You are fucking skilled.

Price you.

Price the old damn church.

Okay.

The best that I’ve got to.

Best luck of all.

Uh for this role we’re gonna need a super duper cockney British guy.

Price him.

Price the church.

Oh well.

I’ve gotta go home to me man.

I like the idea of like an audition room of just like cockneyed accents.

Each one more cockneyed than the last.

Price the church.

Oh hell I come now you gotta price the church now.

Price him and then you get the one who’s so cocky you can’t even make it out.

He’s like price.

Why you wanna do it if I’m crazy.

Because if you don’t I’m gonna fucking kill you.

Yeah I didn’t get any of that.

Exactly.

Except for kill you.

Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god.

Yeah.

Okay this part’s hard.

I remember this part being hard even when I was very strong.

That’s not good.

Yeah there’s a lot of dudes here.

Yeah those long distance shooters will like fuck up your rhythm like no one else.

Oh god.

Pitchfork.

Pitchfork.

Pitchfork.

Oh god it’s one of those guys.

God get out of here.

Mercy on my soul.

Is it time for next time on game room? I don’t know hold on.

Okay.

Yeah yeah yeah yeah you’re dead yeah fuck you.

Hooray.

I can’t really next time on game room until I kill all these guys.

Oh hey let’s do that then.

You can’t pause it.

Yeah focus.

So you gotta get really into it brah.

Or blow it.

You’re dead you’re dead you’re dead.

One shot at this man.

One shot at awesome.

Yeah and guess what my shot paid off I got a fucking bullseye right in the eyes dog bullseye that’s why they call it that cause you shoot him in the shoot the bull in the eye and he can’t see anymore and he’s like oh my god is that right? I don’t know.

Hey how you doing? I’m just wondering if I could maybe like hang out with you or no? No.

Oh squid face come on I was trying to talk to my friend here.

Fucking squid face.

Squid face is like if I can’t have friends no one can.

Squid face you really gotta make it bad for everybody at a bad time.

Yeah.

Some people just wanna have a good time you know girls just wanna have fun.

I wanna have fun with girls but I got this squid for a face.

Well maybe you should hang out with other squid face people.

Um why am I talking to a crow? I didn’t even know crows could talk.

Like we can’t you’re just a crazy ass squid face.

Sacred password to unlock the key to Bergenworth or something like that.

Ok.

Alright.

Sure.

Cool.

Is that the key that no one understands? What’s that? You were telling me about a key that like exists in this game that no one knows what it does? Oh there’s an item that you get from a boss that seems important but nobody knows what it is.

I read a Kotaku article about it.

It must be true.

America’s number one news source for whatever they do.

For gaming ish headlines I don’t know.

What um what’s the item? It’s like the yarnum stone or some shit.

Oh alright.

Cause the place I’m in is yarnum.

Yeah.

What has something to do with this? Have I ever been over here? I don’t think I’ve ever been over here.

Oh there’s some guys.

Hello.

Oh my god if you solve the mystery of the yarnum stone I’m Game Grumps Live.

Yeah that’s totally gonna happen man.

I’m gonna need a fresh pair of jeans my friend.

Well you don’t even.

What do you care? He’s got.

Uh excuse me sir can I return these? These jeans have a cream in them.

These jeans got creamed pretty hard.

I guarantee you it was not me.

Oh alright.

Oh yeah definitely.

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh.

Jesus.

I definitely have not been over here.

I should probably be more careful.

Uh.

They’re actually just swinging to like welcome you to their town like welcome.

And you just keep misinterpreting it and killing them.

Why? Oh my god this is the fucking gate.

Whoa where what? This is the gate on the other side.

To what? This is where I died with the bad guy.

Where are we still here? Oh.

Oh.

Oh yeah he’s over there.

Cool.

Yeah in my fucking game where I’m way farther than this I didn’t know how to open this gate and now I fucking do.

Way to go buddy.

God damn I never even went over here.

What’s wrong with me? I can’t believe I didn’t go to this identical looking dark dismal shit place.

Shit place.

How did I do? Yeah.

I can’t believe I missed this indistinguishable shit hole from the 99% shit hole that we currently exist in.

Oh what’s up? Sir? That was awesome.

Go for a ride bitch.

He’s like bringing up his scimitar.

I’d like to talk to you about health insurance.

Oh.

Yeah why? Whoa.

Okay chill out.

It’s a big ol’ axe.

Papa got a brand new axe.

Papa’s got a nice axe.

Get it? It’s kind of like I said nice ass but it’s an axe.

I’m very tired.

Yeah oof boy.

Not kidding.

I’m gonna jump slash this guy.

Check this shit out.

Watch this.

Oh my hat.

He’s like oh good you landed right in front of me.

My umbrella hat didn’t protect me the way I thought it would.

I can’t believe it.

Did that salesman lie to me? That being said I gotta say your top hat hasn’t exactly knocked away any battle axes coming your way either.

Hey man don’t fucking knock my top hat.

I’m not gonna knock it.

That’d be a dick move.

Yeah cause it wouldn’t protect me from any damage.

I love my top hat.

I take all the damage from your knock.

It’s stylish.

It’s fun.

Yeah.

It makes me look dapper as fuck.

A little bit form over function you know but whatever.

Dude it functions in making me look a little bit like Abraham Lincoln a bit.

So there you go.

I wanted to see that movie.

What Lincoln? That is the one.

Oh god.

I forgot about these guys.

What what what? Alright.

Oh I don’t have any sedatives.

Okay so here’s the deal.

Mhmm.

These motherfuckers.

Someone else had paws like oh fuck.

So these motherfuckers.

Mhmm.

They have a weapon that causes frenzy.

Okay.

And if you’re frenzied you like lose like fucking 80% of your health.

Oh dear.

Immediately.

And uh it’s a bad time.

So here we go.

So it’s pretty much a death sentence.

Yeah.

I hate you.

Did you get his attention? Wait a minute.

Am I on fire? So fast.

Death fire on fire.

Death fire.

Death fire.

Oh he’s dead.

Alright I’m good.

See it still builds a little bit.

That’s what sucks about it.

Mhmm.

Oh it’s going down.

Oh I see you there shaking that thing.

Shaking that thing.

Fucking.

Come on.

You.

Nope nope.

Yeah.

Yeah suck my wang.

He had a.

He had a weird weapon.

Yeah it’s like a big cross or something.

There’s like a w.

There’s just a letter w for wang.

So I’m not gonna.

I don’t know why I opened this door because I totally shouldn’t have.

Oh okay.

That’s a boss in there.

Oh pass.

Um definite pass.

Well I think it’s the only thing I have to do right now.

Cool.

There’s some shit over here.

Uh there’s some other shit over here.

Why not heal up and fight that boss then? Because.

Because I want it because I suggested it Arin.

Is that what it is? Do I have to make it feel like it was your idea? Hey what do you think we should do up here? Oh we should probably fight this boss.

Cool that’s a great idea.

Yeah really you think so? Fucking child.

Alright I gotta fight.

What’s her name like Visser something or other? I don’t know.

Okay.

She’s uh.

She’s got some toad.

I swear to god.

She brings the toad to you.

Dude she’s gonna like 100% toad me.

Really? Yeah I’m gonna like go home and be like can you believe about this fucking.

To like my mom.

Yeah.

She’s gonna be like I don’t care you’re 27.

Yeah put on clothing.

Wait I think I’m 28.

I’m just like I’m just nude from the toad.

Nude from the toad.

Is that her? Yeah she’s a harmless young girl.

Oh.

She would never transform into a giant hulking beast.

Cool.

Not in a million years.

She got spindly ass fingers though.

Yeah well I know how she feels.

Oh yeah you got spindly ass fingers too.

Thank you.

I call them piano playing fingers please.

The Yngwie fingers.

Oh.

Oh no.

Yeah she’s uh rather upset right now.

Who was in that locket? The full moon itself.

It just blinds her.

Geez.

Why am I transformed as so? I wonder what she was saying.

I don’t know something about lockets.

Falcor.

Whoa.

Yeah sup.

Whoa that thing is awesome.

Yeah it’s pretty cool.

I remember this fight being super easy.

Do you? Yeah I’m just getting slaughtered right now.

Mark was like I had a really hard time with this boss.

And so I might have a hard time with this boss.

Ohh live.

Cause I guess it is sort of hard.

Well you’ve already had to use two healing potions and you’ve done one one thousandth damage to her.

Okay cool.

Whoa Jesus Christ wow what what happened? I don’t remember it being this hard.

Okay everything’s cool.

Whoa okay that was unnecessary.

Yeah I’m already dead.

Look up specious.

Yes specious.

I don’t want to talk to you.

No I don’t want to talk to you pointy finger guy.

I don’t want to talk to you.

I just want to fight a boss.

It’s good it’s that way.

Is that like.

No alright I get it you had to do something with your pointy fingers.

Oh fire is effective.

I should use fire.

Intolerance or discrimination on the basis of species especially as manifested by cruelty or to exploration of animals by humans.

Oh I see.

There you go.

I see I get it.

Yeah so you could be specious.

You could let this horrifying dog monster live but no you have to kill it.

Because anyone that’s different is oh god no.

Anyone that’s different and also attacking me violently is an enemy.

That’s just the rule of the world.

Wow what an awesome beast.

I think this is my favorite so far.

It’s pretty cool right? Yeah I like dogs with antlers.

Is that like a thing? Yeah in my room with my drawings.

Yeah like what is going on it’s like much easier now.

I better not speak too soon.

Yep.

I think it’s all rhythm.

Ow ow ow stop stop it.

No I didn’t want to die.

Wow.

And we’re back.

On a good day.

What are we? Yeah of course we’re back you’re fighting it.

Oh I thought it was just like to fight one.

Oh okay.

I don’t know.

We’re not back.

We could bring it back.

No we’re not back.

I’m fighting this fucking beast.

Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow stop it.

Gosh your fucking arm is so long.

God stop ow.

Jeezum.

Frick.

Don’t clap.

Oh oh oh did that smart.

I am taking this a little too not seriously.

Come on baby.

She’s a screamer.

Yeah I like that.

Play it up for me baby.

What is going on with you? What is this? Doesn’t seem like I’m doing a whole lot of damage.

You’re doing some.

Every swing is taking a little bit off.

Why is she all glowy now? Deal with that.

Maybe she likes to dance.

What the fuck does that have to do with being glowy? Looks like someone ever danced in their lives to the point of growing.

That’s cool.

Whoa okay.

I should have seen that coming but I thought she was just praying or something.

Should have seen that coming with how illuminated her body was.

Oh god.

God frick dude.

Whoa whoa chill out chill out.

Oh can I visceral? No.

Get up.

Oh oh oh oh.

Give me the visceral.

I can’t I don’t know where to do it.

Frick.

Oh this is sort of difficult.

Not intensely difficult just like a little bit.

Yeah.

Okay right in the butt.

Right in the b-hole.

I saw that b-hole right there.

Oh oh oh.

Heal heal heal.

Oh she’s she’s she’s yelling of something.

I don’t know what’s going on.

I didn’t put enough pumps in my Starbucks.

I said mocha frappuccino.

What’s going on? What are you doing? Are you just upset again? Okay.

Whoa chill out.

Oh toast my panini.

Damn.

Come on.

Whoa why’d you scream? Yeah don’t.

It scares me.

What are you so upset about? I can’t effectively murder you.

God I’m just trying to kill you.

It’s no big fucking deal.

I’m throwing bananas over something that everybody does.

We’re all hunters here.

Yeah I’m just attacking hair now.

That’s how I feel every morning when I try to comb myself.

Like this beast is untamable.

What is this? What is this? Whoa what is this? What’s she doing? I don’t know but I’m scared.

Oh she’s going super sand.

Oh she got health back.

Oh you son of a bitch.

Alright alright fine.

Don’t scream.

Don’t scream.

Don’t scream.

It startles the children.

Ah don’t do your backslash too.

Your fucking sholt from Smash Brothers.

It’s really like.

I know you can’t appreciate it when you’re playing it but it’s really cool to watch.

Because like when she backslashes she like looks over her shoulder in a very like accurate way.

It’s like ugh you piece of shit.

Garbage you bastard.

Ah I only have one fucking fire left.

Why is it always at the wire when we fucking do this show? Oh Vicar Amelia.

Always down to the wire.

Take her down.

God dammit.

Oh dear.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

I got one cocktail.

Come here.

Come here.

No.

No.

No.

No.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Yeah.

Ah.

Oh my god.

That was fucking harrowing as shit.

Hey I got a gold pendant though.

Oh yes.

Ooh.

Yeah I would touch that.

I would reach out.

Reach out and touch skull.

Is that an evil looking skull in an altar pulsating with energy? Let me put my appendages on it.

You think now to betray me? Oh I know that guy.

No.

But you will never listen.

No I don’t.

What? Skip.

Forget our adage.

Okay.

We are born of the blood.

Made men by the blood.

Okay.

I’m done by the blood.

Oh my god was this voice actor getting paid by the minute? Our eyes are yet.

Sorry can I get some water please? Alright bye.

Cool.

You’re gonna get up out of your chair now? Is that what you’re gonna do? Yeah.

Just gonna rocket off into space in your fucking rocking chair? Wouldn’t that be awesome? Yeah rocket chair.

Just sitting here on the porch in my rocket chair.

You mean rocking chair grandma? No.

As a matter of fucking fact.

I like doing math but I don’t like it long term.

Right.

You know? I certainly don’t like it when there’s huge amounts of other people’s money involved in me getting that math right.

And they’re relying on me to maintain or increase that number.

That’s like a cold sweat nightmare for me.

You kidding? Yeah.

Just like a little old woman comes in and is like I’d like to put this away from my grandchildren when I’m gone.

What’s the variable of x minus y over three? No! Can I write your song? Can I write your song? The world just spins around you.

Oh god yeah absolutely.

Like that motherfucker span to span a word? It’s like when Ray Liotta does cocaine in fucking Goodfellas and the camera’s like into his face.

I’ve never seen it? Oh you never saw Goodfellas? Nah.

Good movie.

Sounds good fellas.

What are you some kind of fucking schnook? What? Yeah that’s a Goodfellas reference that you would have understood.

I don’t.

Were you just testing me? Just making sure.

You did see it.

Hello? Did you ever have that friend that would like try to catch you in lies that like would not like benefit? Like there was just no reason for it? Yeah.

It’s just like a very kid thing to do.

Like are you lying right now? I totally did have that friend.

Yeah meanwhile.

I think we saw in Interstellar.

One of my favorite things about Interstellar.

Hello.

Yes.

Is that a hunter? Yeah I’m this is like I haven’t even like practiced moving around or like fighting or anything.

Oh good.

This is oh great.

This’ll go fine.

Fuck your blunderbuss bullshit.

Ah god dammit.

Boy that really scatters.

What’d you get over here? What’d you get over here? I just don’t want to attract his friend you know? Well you just explained my biggest problem on Tinder.

Yeah fuck you.

Oh god his friend sees me.

Yeah okay.

Hello friend.

Ah this is not fun.

Two hunters at once.

I thought it was my number one fantasy.

Single.

Male for female.

Must be into being electrocuted.

Or and or shot with shotgun.

Point blank.

I’m not on Tinder by the way.

Just like to make that abundantly clear.

Yeah fuck off.

Ow ow.

I might die.

I might die right now.

It’s nice that his friend is like he’s like no it’s your fight.

Yeah.

Actually wait I’ve changed my mind.

Come on come here come here baby.

Come here blunderbuss.

Does this guy heal as well? Doesn’t seem to.

Come here blunderbuss.

Get the fucking come on.

Jeez man.

Little peckish.

God yeah he’s using like buckshot.

This won’t actually hurt but.

It’ll sting.

It’ll sting mildly.

Motherfuckers using a tonitress.

What does that mean? It’s the lightning weapon.

Is it super effective? It’s pretty powerful.

Shit.

Okay.

Heal heal.

Try to attack me.

Yep.

Come here come here.

Ah fuck.

Oh god no.

Oh okay.

Yeah yeah no.

Yes yes.

Oh god no.

Oh he’s coming he’s coming.

Yo.

Oh he’s into it now.

Just charging up my beat stick.

My brother I will fight with you.

Does he have the crappy wood shield? Yeah he does.

That’s a weird thing to accommodate like the fucking insane lightning weapon.

Yeah it’s pretty funny.

It’s super ineffective.

Come on.

Come here baby.

Oh my god.

You can’t do shit.

The full on like fucking gangs in New York situation.

Can’t do shit.

No fucking stop.

God I’m already fighting one hunter.

Just fucking give me a break.

And you ghostly image I have no time for your shit.

I don’t care what curiosities you may harbor in your mind.

My life is my own to experience.

Whoa whoa whoa that’s not good that’s not good that’s not what you want.

Oh no.

No gosh frick.

Yeah they got you in that man.

Dang.

Ah jeezum.

They’re not friendly are they they’re not like they maybe you can talk to them.

No they totally like immediately attack you.

I know it’s a shame but you know what you got to deal with what you got to deal with man that’s the zen way of life shit’s gonna happen.

No fuck zen.

Fuck zen and fuck now.

Is there a more hilarious like two word phrase.

Fuck zen.

I don’t have anything to do with gosh darn zen.

Yeah.

I’m chill as shit bro.

Zen.

What does it even mean.

Zen and now.

I actually don’t know what zen means.

It’s like one of those words you only kind of know the feeling of what it means.

But it’s weird to put it into words.

Yeah.

I’m gonna look it up.

Alright zen is probably like it’s the function of the concept of the negative capacity.

But that’s the thing I don’t know if you’d like define it.

As like a function or like a belief or.

Come here baby.

Come here tonitress.

I’m gonna fight this guy first.

Yeah you suck.

Stupid little wooden shield ain’t gonna protect you now.

Zen is a Japanese school of mayahana Buddhism emphasizing the value of meditation and intuition.

Wow.

Yeah.

Would you look at that.

It’s yapanese.

It’s a yapanese.

Wow.

This guy is way easier than his blunderbuss friend.

Is that right.

Yeah.

I mean I almost got him dead.

I haven’t evaded once.

Yeah.

You’re telling me that guy with sword is not as scary as guy with gun.

This is practical advice for life.

You got him bros.

Oh god.

Stop it with the blunderbuss.

Blunderbuss.

I’m gonna adjust my microphone excuse me.

Okay there we go.

Oh god.

Oh he’s very difficult.

Wow.

Oh he’s using the one handed thing now.

Now he’s gonna use his boos.

Oh boy.

I like that when you.

Oh get out of there.

Fucking stop dude.

Stop it with the boos.

I like it when you jam the whole thing into your leg.

You’re like god damn it.

God damn it.

I think you’re just cracking a vial open or something.

Oh.

I thought it was like an injection into your leg.

Oh maybe it is.

Wow.

How about that.

Huh.

The things you can observe when you’re watching this game instead of cold sweating while playing it.

God fucking damn dude.

It’s fucking blunderbuss.

He is fast and you have done almost nay damage to him.

I just gotta get in close man.

Story of my life.

Yeah.

Ah stop it.

Oh.

Whoa.

Oh no.

Oh hey oh.

Nope nope.

You’re gonna want to do two of those.

Stop.

Okay there you go.

Yeah fuck off.

Ah damn it.

Oh jeez.

Sorry about the time I told you fuck off.

You’re probably pretty cool.

He’s mean of you.

Whoa he just fucking almost visceral me.

Oh my god that was crazy.

What does visceral mean? It’s like a super attack.

God damn it my microphone keeps like.

Sadly drooping down.

Alright.

Okay.

Sorry everybody.

That’s the last time I’ll adjust it.

It’s nearly not as bad as fucking Ross.

Ross just like leans away from his mic.

Does he really? All the time.

These mics are directional so it’s like very clear where your mouth should go.

Yeah when I’m doing steam train with Ross or Grumpcade I have a third job and that is to make sure Ross is on mic.

Ross just has a very like ADD kind of feel about him in general.

He’s aloof.

I mean like fucking we started improv classes like all of us as a group and Mark as well and it’s wonderful but like while we’re all standing in a circle and the teacher is explaining stuff to us I have never seen in my life a more fidgety human being than Ross.

I was like dude breathe you are fucking giving everyone in this class agita right now.

It’s like just so like who can concentrate.

It’s like when Mario bounces on those things heads and then twirls with his arms out on the way down.

That was really close by the way.

I know.

No fuck off.

No fuck off.

Why not heal more? I don’t have any more vials.

Oh god.

So it’s down to the wire.

Oh god yeah.

Got em.

Got em.

Got ya bitch.

That was hard as fuck I would assume.

Just like my cock.

Nicely done.

Yeah thanks.

Alright that’s how I laugh now.

Oh is it? Is it how you laugh? I totally believe you.

Oh god no it’s one of those guys.

No no no no no.

Stay away please stay away.

What is that? Is he slow? He’s the one that sends you to Yargool when he kills you.

Yeah so I don’t want to deal with him.

Can he be following you right now? Um I don’t think he’s that fast.

Yeah I don’t think he goes upstairs either.

I’m the strongest monster in the land but oh god stairs.

Please stay away.

Please stay away.

I don’t I don’t want to have to deal with you fucking person.

Where’s the nearest lantern? Up here.

If you got killed now would those hunters still be alive? No hunters stay dead forever.

Okay.

Yeah that’s great.

That makes me more relaxed.

Yeah it’s awesome cause you get like key items from them sometimes.

I didn’t with these guys they were just fun.

It’s just fun.

Just good times.

Pretty much just rolling around in the grass in the sunny grass.

Oh dude the hunter battles are like those are like the fucking that’s like yes there’s a hunter.

It’s well worn and damp with sweets.

If I’m reading that correctly I’m far from the TV.

Damp with sweets.

Hooray.

You just like stick it in your mouth and do that like sucky thing.

So delicious.

Tastes like raspberry kool-aid.

Sponsored by kool-aid.

Oh yeah.

Did you know that kool-aid and crystal light are the same thing? Get the fuck out of here.

Branding my friend.

And just one is marketed as like a diet drink? Yeah.

That’s hilarious.

If you look at the ingredients on like instant kool-aid that you put in like a water bottle and then instant crystal light it’s the same exact.

Wow.

Like to the fucking.

Is it by the same company? Yeah craft.

Oh my god the balls on on craft.

Yeah.

Dude that’s just how that’s how you do it man.

You think just because you make delicious single cheese slices.

Oh.

Yeah I know.

Oh did I just make you diet sad? Pretty much.

Sorry.

Cheeses.

You know what it’s weird I do I go in like spurts of like liking and disliking cheese.

Really? When I’m when I’m on paleo.

I always like it.

Except for the fact that like it backs you up like a motherfucker.

Yeah there’s I mean it’s kind of gross like it’s a little gross.

Dude when I well it’s funny because I’ve I’ve now been to two countries with diametric opposition as far as their stance on cheeses go.

Because France they eat that shit with every meal.

You went to France? I lived in France.

What? Don’t you remember as an exchange student I’ve told you this many times.

Whoa.

Yeah when I was in college.

I don’t know if you’ve ever told me this.

That’s that’s hard for me to believe.

Oh yes I did.

You know why? In like our crazy heart to heart wind waker episode.

That’s where like I threw away the meds and stuff.

But you didn’t say you were in France.

Yeah I was in a lake in France.

Okay.

Okay okay everything’s fine.

I hate the forest.

Probably fine.

Dog dog please please dog.

Oh okay there’s that guy.

He’s friendly.

That thing looks like the spaghetti headed dude from fucking don’t hug me I’m scared.

Don’t hug me I’m scared.

You’ve never seen that? No.

Oh it’s insanely weird but I love it.

It’s really popular I’m surprised you haven’t seen it.

The first one has like 20 million views or something.

What is don’t hug me I’m scared.

I can’t explain it we’ll just have to watch it.

It’s like a children’s show gone horribly fucked up.

That’s fantastic.

Okay another dog.

No big deal.

Come here dog.

What the hell was I going to say? You’re talking about France.

Oh yeah just that I um I lived there for like I don’t know six months or something and I believe I shit twice because they serve cheese with every meal.

Wow that sounds awesome.

As opposed to Japan which not into cheese at all.

No totally not into cheese.

Like I think we saw one pizza place and it was like a weird novelty there.

Yeah.

Oh it’s expensive too.

Really? Like delivery pizza it’s like 40 bucks.

Whoa.

Oh come here you motherfucker.

That’s crazy Brad.

Oh.

I’m glad you got to use your favorite thing.

My fucking lilt.

Okay I’m just going to get the fuck out of here.

Because there’s so many gunmen here that are like make your life a living hell.

Yeah.

It’s not even that they do a lot of damage it’s just that they freeze you and they set you up to get your ass beat.

Well they gang up on you too when there’s like four of them you’re just fucked.

There’s four of them over there.

Exactly.

Marvelous.

Get away.

Oh god there’s four.

Whoa whoa whoa.

It’s like the fucking brute squad.

Hello sir.

Yeah you have fun with those.

Woo.

Nice.

Nice dodge.

Come here baby.

Haha you’re dead.

You’re dead son.

Top hat dead.

I had to load a musket didn’t you bitch.

There’s a guy.

Oh god that thing is terrifying.

He’s totally cool though.

Yeah he is cool actually.

I’ll give you like 20 bucks if you need it.

He looks a little like me.

Just real lanky.

Always carrying a sickle.

A lot of hair.

It’s a scythe thank you.

I’ve told you a hundred times this is my scythe.

Okay.

Whoa.

Yeah yeah yeah.

Fuck you you fucking demon creature.

Fucking demon creature sickle guy.

That makes it sound delicious.

Motherfucking sickle cell.

Mmm a creature sickle.

Oh bonfire.

Oh they’re all wearing little top hats.

What really.

Yeah.

Oh look at them they got fedoras on.

I fucking love it.

It’s like the world’s tiniest Michael Jackson video.

How did that how is that.

I have no idea.

You must have you must have unlocked some kind of funny thing.

That they all are.

It’s like an easter egg thing.

No way.

Oh it’s adorable.

I love it.

Let us cleanse these foul streets.

Okay.

All right.

Is that a message left here.

Yeah I’ll give it a fine.

I like it.

Fine.

It’s a fine message.

That’s a fine message.

A real fine message.

Oh shit here we go.

Here’s some fucking weird people with torches.

Look at them they’re doing a ceremony.

Oh okay.

Ooga booga.

Oh god.

Oh Jesus.

God like.

I was gonna let you express your religious freedoms.

You didn’t have to fucking come out with me with a cleaver.

I actually thought it was sort of beautiful you know.

And this is just horrible.

It’s nice it’s nice.

Oh another sickle.

Guess she’ll have to go to the doctor because she’s looking a little sickle herself.

Okay sickle cell anemia is a very very serious disease.

Okay.

I you know here’s the thing.

Yeah.

I didn’t know what that was.

Oh god.

Sickle cell anemia.

Yeah so I looked it up and it was like your cells or your blood cells.

The actual cells yeah.

They look like sickles.

Yeah it’s really crazy.

Fucked up.

I know I know.

It’s also I think it mostly happens to black people.

I don’t know why though.

Is it regional? If it was but everyone lives together so how could it be regional.

But it’s that I mean like it’s it originated in like in like mostly Africa right.

Yeah yeah yeah.

But I don’t know why like a certain body type would be more susceptible to it.

Weird.

I don’t know genetics I guess.

Yeah it’s I mean the same thing about Jews and like Tay-Sachs disease and stuff like that it’s weird that like there are certain diseases that only affect or predominantly affect like a certain group.

Like the way kicks to the nuts only affect Ross from me.

Yeah.

I’m gonna kick Ross in the nuts.

Was that not clear? Whoa hello hello hello.

I guess behind you is the right way to go.

Okay.

I was like I was like behind you I don’t.

Oh did it say behind you in the note? Yeah.

Oh it’s awesome.

I love this watch this you like go up here and you can just like oh hi.

Then he’s just like well time to get to work.

Okay got a long day of stalking going on.

Despicable night and fear fire.

Alright.

Oh there’s a dog too.

Fucking god damn it.

Oh and there’s a dude.

Alright let me ugh.

Let me just attract them over here.

Yeah sure.

Come down here baby.

Come here puppy.

Is that where you’re coming? Come down here puppy.

Come down here puppy.

Up up up up up up.

Up up up up.

Up up up up up.

Oh here he comes.

Oh god.

Jesus Christ.

Who’s my little guy? Who’s my little guy? Oh shit.

It’d be funny if it was just like a normal puppy and the puppy opens its mouth and then like turns inside out into that thing.

I had a weird dream about that in my dog back home.

Really? Yeah.

He kept like yawning and his face kept like melting and stretching off.

Ugh.

I had a terrifying dream this morning and I can’t remember what it was.

This wasn’t very terrifying.

It was so terrifying and like it was one of those things where like you just wake up like you remember how scared you were when you wake up more than the dream itself.

Yeah right.

It was definitely some kind of ghost thing.

I remember like.

I hate ghosts.

Yeah I remember being upstairs and then like nobody being up there and then walking downstairs.

And then like keys got thrown down the stairs like onto the floor and I was like hahaha.

But like you know I was still so dead asleep it wasn’t like oh this is a dream everything’s fine you know.

Yeah.

So I had to sweat it out.

And it was like a morning like I had already woken up and then gone back to sleep.

Oh no.

Yeah those are always the most vivid dreams.

Oh totally.

When you sleep for like way too long.

Yes.

So I was really sweating it out from like 8 0 5 to 8 10 this morning.

But it like felt like an eternity to me.

Man.

Yeah.

Dude fucking ghost shit is the creepiest stuff to me.

Yeah.

Do you believe in ghosts.

No but.

Okay.

Me neither.

You know what.

I mean like not even remotely.

Yeah.

But go ahead.

So here’s.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

The most compelling thing.

Because like you know.

When you go to like a creepy place or like a house you know that everyone says like is haunted or whatever.

Yes.

And like even even if you go to one of those houses and you aren’t told that you still like feel like a little messed up.

Oh sure.

It’s like oh maybe it’s just because it’s a creepy place.

But I learned recently that there was a dude in the UK who who actually did a study on places like that and found that like some of the most famous most of the most famous places that he looked at.

There was like a sound thing going on with like like the equipment in the building and the reverberation of the building and like what the building was made out of.

And it resonates on a frequency that like elicits fear.

Really.

Yeah.

It’s like it’s like a really subtle it’s like 80 hertz or something.

That’s interesting.

But but that was the first thing ever with like a ghost thing where I was like oh shit that like that makes total sense.

Yeah.

Well sure man.

I mean like there’s so much going on.

Like when you watch a good scary movie a lot of times you don’t even know why you’re scared you know like or why like so many scary movies use the same techniques you know like someone slowly opening a door and the swell of like slightly off pitch violins starts up and then a jump scare.

But like why are some so much more effective than others.

And there really are these like little subtle things.

Hitchcock was a fucking master at that.

He was really great.

He like you’ve seen Psycho right.

I think I might have talked about this once but like the beginning of Psycho just the title sequence when you watch it like it says the title Psycho and then it like slices horizontally through the title and then the top and bottom of the word kind of like jerk back and forth.

But like a rhythmically and it’s designed to make you uncomfortable because of the lack of rhythm and like it’s just jarring.

So like even before that movie starts and long before you’re ever introduced to like the villain or anything like that.

Like you’re already like feeling kind of like a man that’s crazy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Even never even never even.

Yeah.

I mean there’s a reason it’s like endured as a classic.

Have you watched the remake.

I’ve not with Vince Vaughn.

Any good.

It’s Yeah.

Surprisingly it’s actually pretty good.

It’s like it’s I don’t remember who directed it but it’s clear like they got it.

And there were a lot of like reused shots but not like in a tactless way you know.

Right.

Like like an homage.

Yeah I was very artful.

I would I would recommend it.

Yeah I mean like it.

Well the originals very good.

Oh OK.

This is settling.

I don’t know where I’m going right now.

Oh I know where I am.

Oh I know where I am now.

Hey I love you.

I am.

Oh it’s all inside my yeah.

I miss you miss you miss you love you saying something about psycho.

Oh yeah.

The original the like some parts of it just have not aged amazingly.

You know.

Well I mean like because you watch the actual murder in the shower scene.

It’s a little goofy now.

Yeah.

Well because they just did never done.

There had never been a scene like that in movies you know.

So like you see the knife like slowly coming in and then the woman’s like and then the knife comes back and there’s blood on it and it’s like here comes again.

You know.

Yeah.

It’s it’s I mean just horror has come a long way.

But like after you watch it you’re still fucked up and you still don’t want to take a shower.

Yeah.

Because like it plays to like deeper fears like that feeling of like being naked and like super vulnerable.

That’s true.

Yeah it’s just.

Yeah that’s why like Jaws I guess is pretty effective.

Oh fucking the most terrifying movie to me ever because like how helpless is that feeling of just like being in the water and you just see like these monstrous Jaws coming at you and there’s nothing you can fucking do.

Better than you and that that’s their world bro.

Yep.

I’ve never been in the ocean.

What really.

Never.

Well maybe when I was a kid but not once I developed that phobia.

The hell.

What if we took a beach trip and then we’re all having fun.

Yeah I’d have fun on the beach.

Oh man.

Yeah I have trouble even like letting my feet dangle off a dock.

No way.

It’s like a crippling phobia dude it’s like the it’s the only thing I’m truly truly scared of.

Wow.

Yeah yeah.

I hate being in lakes and pools.

No way.

Yeah yeah yeah.

In pools? In pools.

Purely because like I can close my eyes and imagine what it would be like if a shark was coming at me.

I know not that healthy but what am I going to do.

I know.

Dan.

I love swimming too.

It’s a bitch.

We gotta we gotta fix this bro.

I don’t know how you do it other than just like grape your teeth and go in.

Yeah.

Oh but not into an ocean dude I really.

Well baby steps I’m sure.

I’ll baby step right into a lake.

Yeah that’s no problem.

I’m sure there’s like a method for getting over because I don’t I don’t have like a crazy phobia I just have my fear of sound.

Terrifying and I was cool with rivers until I saw that goddamn video where that girl catches like a shark in a river and she’s like it’s a big ass shark.

Never saw that one? No.

Oh that’s a winner.

Like these I don’t want to call them rednecks but like they’ve got like thick southern accents you know.

Yeah.

And and like I guess her boyfriend is filming her and he’s like oh Jesus Christ.

It’s so funny.

I’ll show it to you.

But I was like I was like watching I was like well there go rivers for me.

Fuck.

Oh wheelchair guy.

Dead.

Yeah we gotta fucking we gotta fix that bro.

Nah listen listen to what I have to say about the GPS situation.

You make that chicken? Look at that chicken.

I’m talking about this demon over here.

All right all right all right.

Talk about the demon.

Geez.

Glowing his glowy eyes and shit.

Oh man.

Fuck.

I’m hungry for chicken.

Promise me chicken earlier.

That’s fine.

You y’all get your chicken when I’m ready.

I’ll get my chicken when I’m ready.

No you gave me that new grill you’ve been promising me.

I’m gonna get my chicken.

All right fine.

What the hell happened.

What are we doing right now.

What happened to us.

Now that we watched Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared doesn’t this thing look like the red dude.

The red dude.

The red dude.

Yeah with like the.

Whoa whoa no.

The yarn face and he’s just like.

A pair of floating eyes.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

Wow.

This is boring.

You’re boring.

Shit is so weird.

That is a good thing to watch.

Go watch that.

Yeah it is.

I mean.

I mean.

Whoa.

When did it get down there.

He fell.

He didn’t see him fall.

No.

Oh he’s coming.

Oh OK.

Get him.

This is really powerful.

I didn’t use the attack button.

Well then.

Oops.

Oh I don’t like their screams.

Yeah.

He’s dead though.

This must be an unsettling game to play at night by yourself.

It’s more unsettling because it’s hard.

Right.

Like I don’t know the imagery is like so beautiful you know.

And then it’s just like when you see something around the corner and you don’t know what it is right.

And it’s like lurching makes you tense and you’re like huh huh.

I have to go there.

Goo.

That’s that’s probably the scariest thing about this game.

Fair enough.

Oh sweet.

Oh I think I made it.

No wait.

Hold on.

Hold on.

Hang on a tick.

How up.

How up.

How up y’all.

I think I think there’s a thing.

I think there’s a thing over here.

No I think there’s a thing over here.

Where’s the moon.

There it is.

Oh it’s lovely.

Yeah it’s beautiful.

Against my against my sultry face.

What causes a blood moon again.

Oh very cinematic.

I used it when I was playing Morrowind every goddamn day of my life for a long time.

I used to because I got so good at the controls.

I used to do that all the time like while my characters like slow walking.

I would like do a cinematic like sweep around him with the camera.

Makes you feel like fucking Scorsese.

Fuck yeah it does.

Fuck yeah.

You know a blood moon I believe.

OK.

It’s only when the moon is rising.

Really.

Yeah.

I think it has to do with like the earth is blocking light or it’s like residual light from the sun because the sun’s rays when it bends on the earth.

It’s only red which is why the color changes in the sky.

We’re talking about the same thing right.

Blood mood is when like.

When it’s red.

Yeah the moon is like kind of orange red.

Yeah but it’s only when it’s rising.

I don’t think it can be a blood moon in like mid sky.

That is.

Really.

Yeah I think so.

It’s also called a harvest moon.

Oh that’s what a harvest moon is.

Yeah.

All right I’m going to look this up.

OK.

Hi-yah.

What is a blood moon.

Blood moon’s when the moon turns red idiot.

That’s what like Google tells you.

It’s pretty.

It’s pretty cool.

It’s pretty.

It’s almost that simple.

It’s when you see the moon low in the sky the extra air between you and the moon makes the moon look reddish.

Yeah.

Wow.

Wow.

That’s simple.

All right.

Now I know a thing.

Yeah.

Also the moon illusion.

What’s that.

One of my favorite.

When the moon looks bigger when it’s near the ground.

The moon illusion is a great name for a band.

Oh.

Wait what does it say.

So when you see the moon like rise.

Against like a landscape or something.

It looks huge.

Right.

But it’s actually totally just the same size it is when it’s in this when it’s like high in the sky.

Really.

Yeah.

It just looks bigger because there’s a lot of different like speculation on why it looks.

Nobody can really agree on why it looks.

But I think it’s because you have like a point.

I thought you were kissing your own bicep.

Yeah you like that.

Did that fucking do anything for you.

I think it’s because you have a point of reference.

So when you see like.

Cities in the distance and you know they’re huge and then you see the moon.

It looks huge perspective is such a weird thing.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa grandma.

Where’s the parsnips.

I can’t find the parsnips.

She’s just yeah like it’s like a really friendly thing that she’s just like she’s just offering you desserts in a really like intense way like runs out with a scythe like pudding.

Are these all bodies unsheathe your cleaver.

They are kind of looks like it doesn’t it.

One thing I’ve noticed about being in my mid 30s is how annoyingly everyone will just love to tell you how old you are and like it happens when you’re like 18.

Like people are like oh you’re so old and you’re like yeah I am old I’m fucking 18.

Could not be younger and like it just never stops and it’s it gets so lame and like you don’t feel old but just everyone’s in your face about it and and oh it’s the little dude scurrying beast.

This boss is not super hard.

Although now that I’ve said that it’s probably going to give me a hard time.

Yeah.

Oh actually wait look at those bodies hanging from the ceiling isn’t.

First of all that’s very unsettling.

Secondly like do you remember in Castlevania 2 like the Nintendo version of that.

Yeah.

Yeah just like with the with the bodies hanging I was like wow look how far video games have come.

Yeah seriously.

Because it was creepy in that game too.

But this is a much quite the next level.

Here we go.

All right then.

Time to talk to an old witch.

Hello.

No you’re not.

Oh that is the witch.

Oh no shit.

Yeah she’s invisible.

So the actual beast monster is not her.

She just summons them.

I just got to find her.

Get the fuck out of here.

She doesn’t actually attack you.

And these guys are pretty docile.

Wow they’ll just let you kind of stroll around.

Yeah.

So I just got to be like oh where are they.

Will she.

Oh fuck ow ow fuck.

I don’t know.

She’s covered in barnacles.

I’d give her a poke.

Can she disappear on her own or like.

Yeah well it’s once you find her and attack her then she disappears.

You don’t have to attack her.

Once you find her she starts disappearing.

I see.

You only have a small window of time to.

But once you kill her she starts creating like.

This seems like kind of an easy boss.

It’s super easy in my opinion.

Is the hardness like not knowing what the deal is and you’re just fighting guys forever.

And well she starts spawning more of those other dudes.

Right.

So but they’re but they’re like really they don’t they don’t bug you.

That is the most mellow like scythe dude we’ve seen.

Yeah.

He’s like yeah you know just stalking around.

I just like to stalk.

Do your thing bro.

I guess the dude’s probably protecting her.

Come on you barnacle baby.

She’s cute.

She’s cute.

I mean you know just a little bit of like a little makeup.

Yeah put a little rouge on those barnacles tail.

You know I mean I don’t know.

Oh there she is.

Yeah.

Have you tried eyeliner.

It really might make all the difference.

All right now she’s I think now she’s going to start making copies.

So this is all of her cells and actually her.

Well God so annoying motherfucking bitch.

Oh not her.

Yeah.

How the fuck is she.

Come here baby.

I want to show you a little piece of my cleaver.

Like the bad piece the pointy.

Yeah.

Pointy piece.

I got a secret.

Come in close.

Yeah.

Nope.

Yeah.

She screams like fucking lead singer of Queens of the Stone Age.

At least on the first out.

Mark Lanigan.

No Nick Olivieri.

Jesus.

What.

Oh they’ve sung some songs that you’d like.

Nick Olivieri has an awesome scream voice.

Is there a note back there.

Oh rolling.

Oh yay.

Oh there’s one.

Can you cover more ground if you’re like rolling.

Yeah but you you waste stamina which you need to attack.

Oh that’s an interesting mechanic.

Boy you are covered in blood.

Hello.

That was unfortunate like pop back in placement for her.

Oh there she is.

Hello my darling.

Nope.

Well there’s another.

Yeah.

God.

Whoa.

Okay now they just die.

Come on.

Or not.

Just die.

They just die.

Okay.

Did I not kill her.

She’s still alive.

Oh there’s a second one.

God damn it.

Well now you did.

Yeah.

Now this is happening.

How come they be.

Yeah it’s like.

It’s like the fucking thing they opened CSI Miami with.

Yeah.

Put on those sunglasses.

To cover up your weird mismatched eyes.

Oh there she is.

Goodbye my love.

I’ll miss you.

I’ll miss your soft barnacled skin.

Yes.

I’ll miss your barnacled buttocks.

The caress of your soft touch.

The fuck.

There’s three of them.

There’s three of them.

Yes.

Well she’s back.

Jeez man.

Maybe you have to.

Both of them have to be dead at the same time.

God that sucks.

All right.

Had you beaten this yet.

What in my playthrough.

Yes.

Yeah of course.

Oh okay.

They just didn’t pull that nonsense on you.

Oh I guess I killed him too fast.

There she is.

Excuse me Muppet hair.

All right.

That’s it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Goodbye.

Oh here I am at the this here.

Was that Shakespeare.

Who did the eye of Newton.

Oh wait is that guy okay.

What.

Can you talk to him.

Is he okay.

Sir.

Sir.

Sir.

I think the scala face is kind of a dead giveaway.

Oh.

Dead giveaway.

Is this a Schwarzenegger movie.

What is this Commando.

Don’t mind my friend he’s dead tired.

Blow off some steam Bennett.

Bennett.

I bet I bet they fucking like.

Dylan.

I bet they like wrote that whole like end of the movie around that line.

Like just put it all in like a steam room and shit.

Of course.

Yeah.

Just so he could have like a pithy one liner.

Commando was all about one liners.

It was awesome.

Entire fucking movie.

Just what were the other ones.

Like there was there was one where he like threw a dude off a cliff.

Yeah.

He was like have a nice fall or something.

Yeah.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

God.

It’s the 80s man.

It was a different time.

I wish we could.

I wish movies like that could still get greenlit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like it just it’s hard to explain to people now but it was just not cheesy at the time.

Yeah.

It was like fuck yeah.

It’s like super cool.

Oh right.

Righteous righteous radical tubular.

Now like I’ll just kill a guy like stand over the corpse and be like fuck you.

Yeah.

What.

Yeah.

We do still have one liners don’t we.

They’re just not as nice as a super fucking cheesy.

Yeah.

They’re not as like wink.

I’m in a movie kind of shit.

Yeah.

I guess it’s time for.

Oh I wish you dead and now you’re dead.

That’s how it goes.

Seven next time.

Oh God.

Oh my God.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.

It’s fine.

Oh my God.

Oh geez.

There’s dogs.

I can’t.

We can’t stop now.

OK.

OK.

Oh Jesus.

OK.

These guys are like really difficult to fight.

Oh.

What is it.

The cleaving in half of you.

It’s like they’re so fast.

Yeah.

Weirdly fast.

They’re fast and yeah.

And they have armor.

And they’re fat.

Everyone calls them on the notes.

Everyone calls them despicable fatty.

Despicable fatty.

Yeah.

This is what they call them.

Why is fatty like a word option.

No.

It’s they’re just trying to be as vague as possible.

Because it’s not like you know the ax man you know.

Yeah.

Whatever their name is in the actual game.

Then it’s like.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That is fun.

That’s interesting.

Yeah.

You’re dead.

Like that huh.

Do you like it.

Do you like the way I did you.

Where did they all get custom fat guy armor.

And these are questions that are best left unanswered.

Like that is not your normal night size.

Custom fat guy armor.

Yeah.

You know what I mean.

Why don’t you.

They have like a Bob’s big and tall.

Of the medieval.

Ye old Bob is like lots of ease on the end.

Like shop S.

H.

O.

P.

P.

E.

The more ease on the end of something the more medieval it is.

Oh it’s ye old ye.

You know apparently the Y in olden lore or whatever was actually a T.

H.

sound.

Really.

It was actually just the old.

Oh get out of here.

Get out of here.

That makes a lot of sense.

Yeah.

Crazy right.

Yeah.

Everyone.

It’s still fun to say ye you know.

Oh yeah.

And I mean it’s already.

It’s become more like representative of that time.

Yeah.

Than to say anything else.

Oh fuck.

Give me the chocolate baby.

Molotov cocktail.

Mmm.

I want to smear it all over my po.

Just break.

I want to smear it all over my po.

You must accept corruption.

Whoa.

Will you die if you fall in there.

I’m sure I will.

Really.

I don’t know what that means.

It seems to imply that you can just jump in.

But I don’t want to because I have a lot of souls right now.

Okay then do it later.

What about this one.

Hidden path waits ahead.

Really.

Oh boy.

Is it the hidden path straight to death town.

How many appraisals does it have.

Three.

Alright let’s do it.

God damn it.

Three people are assholes.

What really strikes me about that dude about solo travel blog.

Oh god.

Oh my.

Jesus.

Wow he fucked you right up.

What I really love about that guy.

Yep.

Is.

It’s always positive.

What do you mean.

He’s never like shitting on anything.

Never.

And if he is it’s always like really like fair and like I just don’t really seem to like it that much you know.

Yeah yeah yeah.

But he’s always just like this is fucking nice.

This is real nice you know like.

Yeah.

Wow I don’t know what it is about this thing but it just makes me feel joy inside.

It’s like.

Oh man I love this guy.

Yeah I like that too and that’s just a healthy way to be.

Yeah.

It’s like the kind of.

It’s like the kind of.

I must have talked to you about this before but like that theory not even a theory quite fairly proven at this point but that.

Come on dude.

And the blood echoes go right back up.

I thought you could walk on that.

Come on.

I don’t know.

Hey look your blood echoes again.

I wonder if there’s a secret passage over here.

Yeah right.

I’m trying to see what they’re talking about.

They’re fucking with you.

But they have three appraisals what about this one.

Remember rune.

Okay.

The three appraisals were from three people who want to fuck you up.

All right I’ll give it a negative appraisal then.

Wait maybe maybe the maybe it’s in the graveyard.

The secret path.

It has to be here.

I’m gonna give it a foul.

Foul note.

There we go.

Foul notes.

I just felt proud of it.

Now anyone who looks at that and actually knows that there is this hidden path will be like Game Grumps are fucking idiots.

Yeah that’s kind of what I was afraid of.

Yeah well it’s inevitable.

It’s gonna happen.

We’re idiots.

No matter how fucking awesome I am at something.

Yeah.

It’s always gonna be like yeah well you can do it this way.

Oh oh oh.

Yeah there you go.

Because I don’t give a shit.

Do you.

This is.

Well this is.

We’re about to end our play through for the day.

So do you have any like little milestones of accomplishment you can do.

You want to fucking finally turn in those blood echoes which you’ve lost 80 times.

Yeah I do have 30,000.

Yeah do that man.

But I got to run all the way to the lamp to do that and I don’t want to do that.

Do it.

Oh man.

Oh shit.

Oh shit I’m fucking god damn it.

Just run.

Just make a break for it.

Hold on I want to kill this guy.

Do lots of oh he he seems like an easy fella.

Oh nice.

Fuck you.

He’s dead.

Nice.

Easy.

A real nice death.

And look at that I got blood files and a motherfucking molotov cocktail to boot.

I thought you were gonna say I got blood farts.

I was like that’s you need to see a doctor immediately.

Like wow.

Like immediately.

Well there’s stuff over here.

Yeah.

No there’s not.

Wait are there.

Is there stuff over here.

No there’s no stuff.

Some real nice stuff.

Alright back to the fucking lamp.

Do it.

Turn on my blood echoes.

Go go go.

Go go.

How fast can I go.

Go ninja go ninja go.

T U R T L E power.

T U R T L E power.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

That was the most badass scene in any movie ever.

Oh my god yes.

At the time.

Oh yeah.

Now it’s like did we really watch movies like this? Leonardo Michelangelo and Donatello make up the team with one of the fellow Raphael.

He’s the leader of the group transformed from the norm by the nuclear group.

That’s all I remember.

Raphael’s not the leader first of all.

He was in the movies.

What.

Isn’t that weird.

No he wasn’t.

Yeah like the 80s movies.

Raphael was the leader.

I know.

I was pissed because I was like a Leonardo guy.

Wait no he’s the aloof one.

Oh yeah.

He’s the aloof one in the cartoon.

No in the movie he’s the one who fucking goes off with the trench coat.

Yeah no one recognizes him.

Because he’s like fuck the turtles and Leonardo is the one that like meditates and is like I’m the leader.

Raphael leader of the Ninja Turtles.

What.

I do not remember that.

He did not act like a leader at all.

He acted like Raphael.

I just remember being pissed about it.

Hang on hang on.

I refuse to believe it.

I refuse.

Whoa where the fuck is this shit.

A lyric in turtle power states Raphael as the leader though Raphael is the turtle focused on the most.

This is incorrect.

The group dynamic is according to the 1987 cartoon theme song constituted thusly.

Who wrote this Wikipedia article.

Leonardo leads Donatello does machines.

Raphael is cool but rude and Michelangelo is a party dude.

So it was wrong.

Well I don’t know.

Not the leader.

Only according to the.

OK wait.

Raphael.

Not even by practice in the movie.

Leader in movie.

He’s not the.

He’s fucking the same as he always is.

He’s not the leader.

Don’t get mad Arin.

This movie is 25 years old.

Raphael is my favorite Ninja Turtle.

OK.

And he’s not the leader.

OK hang on.

He’s aloof as fuck.

Hang on.

He fucking is by his own code.

His own fucking code of ethics.

No I’m just standing here.

We’re just arguing about Ninja Turtle.

We went right back to the third grade school yard.

Nothing’s happening right now.

Oh where do I go.

Oh my God.

Forest and.

Hold on you.

You.

You look that up and I’m going to fucking.

OK.

Huh.

I’m going to look this up.

OK.

I would go for it.

Raphael.

Church of the good jealous.

No shit about the painter who gives a shit.

Why was Raphael considered the key Renaissance artist.

Why was Raphael the lead turtle in the movies.

He wasn’t.

OK.

It was only the song.

The fucking note just like said that.

In the TMNT movie.

It was probably fucking vanilla ice probably was just like oh yeah and just gave him the names and he was just like yeah look at that.

How did the theme song of the movie get it so wrong.

Because it’s wrong.

First of all this is really funny because it’s like how could MC Hammer get it so wrong.

And that song is not by MC Hammer.

And then in all capital letters Leonardo was the leader of the group.

Like Arin did you post this.

He was he’s the leader.

You don’t fuck it.

You don’t know.

You don’t fucking know.

You can’t play that.

You can’t.

Oh yeah I’m sorry I’m sorry I forgot.

Wow.

We got so into it.

We not only forgot to play the game.

One of the most heated Game Grumps discussions of all time.

But also started playing a fucking licensed song.

No I’ll prove it to you.

No you piece of shit.

Shut your fucking mouth.

Oh my God.

OK.

My ass hole burns.

My ass hole burns.

My ass hole burns.

My ass hole burns.

Does it burn.

Oh yeah it burns.

Sorry I didn’t mean to throw a wrench into your plans like that.

You threw me off man.

Sorry sorry.

Those are not the lyrics I was planning on fucking going with.

Oh God.

We created art together.

Yeah we did.

It felt good.

Magic of improvisation.

The magic of improvisation.

Improvisation makes it burn.

It makes my ass hole burn.

My ass hole burns.

Does it burn.

It burns so good.

My ass hole burns.

Everybody loves my ass hole cause my ass hole burns.

Wow.

Arin bravo.

You did it.

I’m dead.

OK.

There’s something for you master sword.

Yeah.

Make something out of that M1.

Make a pungent blood cocktail.

You son of a bitch.

Wait I do have molotovs.

Oh I should use them.

Oh I should use them.

Hold on.

Wait this game has like 4000 items that I never use.

Oh well yeah.

Yeah I mean it’s OK.

What are you going to do about it.

You get into your groove.

Get into the groove that’s exactly right.

You know what.

I need to listen to you more often.

Well you need to listen to Madonna.

Get into the groove.

Boy you’ve got to prove your love to me.

She was a great singer.

Still is.

I don’t know.

Some good songs.

Good jams.

What’s funny is that I remember I mean I was really young but I remember in like 1985 or whatever it was when Cyndi Lauper had girls just want to have fun and Madonna had like Lucky Star that like the overwhelming consensus was that Madonna was like a flash in the pan one hit wonder and Cyndi Lauper would have like the big like crazy long multi decade career and it worked out exactly the opposite.

Weird really.

Which is a shame because I prefer Cyndi Lauper.

Cyndi Lauper.

Cyndi Lauper is great.

I like her.

I think she’s I think she’s catchy.

I think she’s attractive.

She was one of my first crushes when I was like a little kid.

Really.

Yeah because she had like the big orange and yellow hair and she was weird and punky and she was in the goonies and just like.

That’s mostly it.

Yeah I mean.

She was in the goonies.

It didn’t hurt.

Didn’t hurt.

That’s the quickest way to my heart.

To be in the goonies.

To be in the goonies.

To be in the goonies.

Correct.

Chunk.

Watch out buddy.

I’m coming after your butt.

If you can if you can somehow if you want to go on that first date just try to find a way to travel back in time 30 years.

You get casted on one of the greatest 80s films of all time.

It really is.

Or at least of the 80s.

Still haven’t seen it yet dude you got to show it to me.

You’ve never seen the goonies.

I got to buy that motherfucker and then and then.

I’ll invite you over.

Have you really never seen it.

How many times have I told you I haven’t seen the goonies.

I don’t know dude I want to have a better memory but it’s just not good.

So like.

Wow.

Because Lord of the Rings like I could joke around about that forever.

Like University is a sucker.

Having never seen the goonies actually makes me sad.

Well dude I got to you just got to fucking we got to get it together bro.

Cool.

How have we known each other for like five years.

And that never happened.

Because it’s never come up in a situation where it’s like all right well let’s put on the goonies.

That’s almost like 2000 days worth of chances.

To watch to watch it.

And we blew it every time.

I feel the same way dude.

And now you’re on fire sir.

Because I haven’t seen the goonies.

Are you happy now.

And now you have to bear the brunt of my sadness.

Oh damn.

Oh wow.

That was fucking awesome.

I don’t know what happened there but it was great.

It looked like.

Oh god there’s more.

Okay.

Geez man.

This is like gun hoe junction.

Gun hoe junction.

I’m trying to think of what you’d call a lot of shooters of an old western variety.

Why doesn’t it fucking kill them.

It gets them down to like one HP left.

There’s so many gunners here.

It’s ridiculous.

They’re not respawning are they.

No no no no.

Okay.

No no no no no.

That’s not how it works.

No no no no.

Get the fuck out of here with your fucking gun bullshit.

And by gun bullshit I mean guns.

All right here we go.

You are dead.

Yep.

And he’s straight dead.

Straight down on the floor dead.

He’s dying now he’s dead.

I hate that guy so much.

The end to that song.

Dude I got to tell you man you know you’re always like you don’t have any musical talent.

Why the fuck would we ever let you write a song.

When have I ever said that.

I have never said that.

No you totally all the time you say that to me.

That is something Brian would say.

You’re like Arin look you know you’re only in the band because well I don’t even know.

How could you possibly say that when we have a band without you that’s exactly the same and we started a new band just so you could join it.

We’ll see.

You got to I mean.

In theory.

Man why you always got to step on my toes.

Why you always got to make me feel bad by making me feel good.

I’m trying to make a statement here.

Fair enough.

And you’re just fucking you’re coming down on me like the man.

I’m sorry.

Yeah that is something the man would have done.

Wondrous item.

So here’s here’s a here’s a nice little here’s a nice little situation going on right here.

Yeah actually don’t.

Here’s a little trick that I can teach you people at home.

Don’t get shot in the fucking head by these assholes.

Oh stop it stop stop.

Oh stop it please.

Oh now there’s two of them.

Now there’s puppies.

Oh there’s three.

Oh wow.

OK.

Stop stop.

That’s not good.

That’s not good.

Oh God.

Things are going great for me.

So distressing.

Having a good time in the city.

Bloodborne is fun for all.

Bloodborne is fun for all.

Yeah yeah.

OK.

I did not like that at all.

My whole body was like pretzeled up.

All right.

There’s I fucking I know there’s a fucking.

Was there a fork that I didn’t go down like a fork in the road.

I assumed you had a fork in the road when you said that.

You didn’t have to clarify what type of fork.

Was there like a fork like a like a salad fork that I could use specifically for this part of the meal.

I can hit him when he’s coming up.

See there’s a free hit.

Oh God.

Not your sickle.

I’m sick of your sickle.

Yeah.

I’m sickle sickle.

That free hit ironically cost me dearly.

OK.

OK.

So here I am at the second lamp.

OK.

Good.

I’m trying to.

Oh.

Oh.

Whoa.

I’m trying to remember where where’s the next.

The next place to give it a go.

You know what I’m saying.

I do.

You just said it.

It’s got to be down here.

I remember it being down here.

I’m going to fucking explore down here.

OK.

I’m going to destroy all men or folk.

Yep.

These religious folk.

Yes.

I mean they seem like nice people but oh sure.

Sort of vicious and they just want to crazy.

Yeah.

Terrifying.

OK.

So here’s a little elevator.

I can clearly murdered.

Oh there’s an item.

So here’s a fucking elevator.

I can go down this or go up maybe.

Get the fuck out.

Sir.

Sir.

Miss.

Miss.

Sorry.

I assume it’s a miss actually.

And she didn’t look like the the type you’d want to marry.

Ma’am and miss are different.

I believe ma’am is for a woman who’s married.

Like it’s like misses.

No way.

Yeah it’s like an older lady.

That’s why some people or some women I should say get offended when you call them ma’am.

Guys get offended when you call them ma’am too actually.

All of them.

All guys.

Wait.

No way.

I believe so.

That’s ridonkolous.

Hold on I’ll look it up.

I really like that we fix the Internet in here because we all get to learn things together.

That’s chronicles of ridonkolous.

The difference between ma’am chronicles of ridic but it’s ridonkolous chronicles of ridiculous.

You get it.

I’m just I’m just making sure we’re all on the same page here.

I don’t want to have to fucking go back in the timeline.

You know what I’m saying.

Oh I got you.

Boy I am dealing with the most dickish.

Okay it’s okay now.

What happened.

Miss means he or she is considering you as single.

Maybe wants to know your marital status and is expecting you to reply accordingly if you are not single.

Whereas ma’am or madam is just a sign of respect.

Irrespective of marital status for females but generally used for elders.

So it’s for old people.

Miss equals single and ma’am generally equals married and also makes people feel old.

That’s actually what I’m reading off of this thing.

Well I you know can’t argue with that.

Fair enough fair enough.

That’s just how it is I guess.

And I believe it said ma’am was short for madam which I did not know.

Oh yeah because there’s a fucking apostrophe in there.

Well another one of these guys that just rose up behind me because that’s going to be a bad time.

I don’t know.

If it did I’m sure you’ll find out about him shortly.

Come here buddy.

They like to.

Oh god their eyes.

Yeah it’s cool right.

They like to make their presence felt.

Is there one over there.

No.

No.

Okay.

Okay.

Just making sure.

Just covering all my bases.

Yes.

So there’s got to be mother fucking.

Because I was in the forest man.

In the forest is where the fucking shit is.

Bro.

There’s a whole fucking forest in the forest bro fucking Spider-Man Spider-Man put in the time put in the time.

You put in the time put in the time.

Oh god I wish I was also recording that.

Yeah I wish I could have heard the actual cadence of how you said it.

Put in the time put in the time fucking Spider-Man.

Yeah.

To read it certainly came off like the insane ramblings of a lunatic.

I mean it’s not too far off from what it actually was.

Of course not.

Of course not.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Okay.

Boy.

We’re all friends.

We’re all friends.

That cinder block.

It’s.

Trust.

There’s trust going on.

No stop it.

Trust.

Oh god man.

I’m sorry.

I didn’t mean to let out a blood curdling scream.

It’s okay.

Get over here you big.

You big galoot.

You big silly boof.

Ugh geez.

Okay.

You schminkel.

You dinkle.

You can just make up words as long as you say it in that like in that way.

You biddle-dee-finkle.

You friggity-flargle.

Wait.

Is that an area that.

Oh.

You smack-mackity bitch.

Sorry.

That bitch is actually a term that I should have.

You smack-dackity boner.

Wait.

Do you remember what boner used to mean? Like a foil? Or like a blot? What? Yeah.

You never seen those old like Batman comics? Where the Joker’s always like trying to pull the biggest boner there is.

Wow.

You’ve never seen those? No.

I’ve heard of boner as like used like in olden times.

Miss.

Miss.

Please take me with you.

I want to see France.

I’ve heard it used as like a term to represent like a mistake.

Boner? Yeah.

Like he blew it in that like.

Did you hear about Ross’s boner last night? Like he said something stupid or.

Yeah.

Huh.

Interesting.

I wonder when it became a term for erection.

I would guess the 80’s.

Why do you say the 80’s? I don’t know.

That’s like when a lot of terms like that like came into vogue.

Check out this boner.

Like.

Like rad, awesome, totally tubular.

Like there were so many.

Boner.

Yeah.

There were so many like specifically 80’s terms.

Sure.

That I feel like more than other decades maybe.

Okay I can see that.

But maybe not.

I’m gonna kill this motherfucker.

He’s gonna be dead.

He sure is.

Man I don’t.

I really don’t fucking know man.

I don’t know what happened.

That’s okay.

I lost track of where I was.

You killed a lot of shit.

I totally thought there was a path in a place that there was a path in.

And now there’s not a path there.

So I gotta fucking look that shit up.

Cause this is the first time in this playthrough that I have been actually lost.

Wow.

Well we’ll just call this a leveling up episode.

Which you certainly did.

And you killed a lot of shit.

Well if I die here then I won’t level up.

No you’ll be fine Arin.

Positive thinking power.

That’s a little thing we call stinking thinking.

And we don’t subscribe to that.

Is that a real thing? I’m sure it is.

Stinking thinking.

No way.

Oh boy.

I don’t believe it.

Well.

Did I die? Believe this.

Next time on Game Grumps.

Um.

I don’t know.

Some shit will happen.

Oh woah.

Wait I gotta level up first.

Next time on Game Grumps we’ll know what we’re doing.

And we’ll get there.

Trust me.

Cause at least like getting lost here in this game is functional.

You know? Yeah.

Cause like you’re always like getting stronger.

And you need to do that anyway.

As opposed to I don’t know Mario 64.

Hey woah.

Woah.

Hey.

Woah.

Language dude.

You know I totally hate that game and I’m the worst at it.

Uh I told you not to use the M word.

Mario 64.

Yeah.

You said it.

You said don’t say it.

What is it you desire? He gets really upset when you mention it.

Don’t ask me what is it I desire.

Incredibly hot girl doll.

The only attractive thing in this fucking whole world.

Wow yeah you really are.

You’re right about that.

Well I’m attractive.

Yeah you look pretty good.

I’m like yeah.

Yeah you’ve come through remarkably unscathed considering your myriad of battles with the undead.

Yeah.

I’ve got heterochromia Dan.

I don’t know what that means.

It means I have two different colored eyes.

Woah.

Does that mean I have homochromia? Monochromia maybe.

Okay.

You may have noticed Dan.

Yes.

That everybody is asleep in.

Yeah.

They’re little sleepy sheepies.

Everybody’s having a little naps.

That’s because I think after I beat the witch it turns to night.

Oh.

So everybody’s asleep in.

Oh I remember the witch.

Yeah.

Yeah the barnacle witch.

This is the first of a new play through week for us.

Yeah.

It’s either the witch or the beast that was in the church.

The one that looked like Falkor.

Falkor.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I have to go over here.

That’s the solution I promise.

But there’s all kinds of little items in here so I’m going to get those.

Yeah learn some madman’s knowledge.

Don’t want to wake him up.

The madman’s knowledge is actually like crazy shit like cheese talks to you.

Raisins.

Good I’ll write this on a scroll and place it away thank you.

I want to attack this guy.

And he’s sleeping.

Yeah but.

He looks so peaceful.

He’s got good experience.

Maybe he’ll stay peaceful after you take a swing at him.

Nope.

Nah he’s not going to stay peaceful.

He’s going to attack me with a giant axe.

Yo.

Oh damn.

He’s like in a he’s like in a rock group because he has a big axe right.

Okay okay okay.

Do you not do you not.

Should I explain it.

I got it.

I always thought axe was a cool thing to call a guitar.

Yeah me too.

That’s why I called it that.

That’s my fucking axe baby.

Do you remember.

Do you remember Dexter’s lab.

Did you ever watch that.

Was that after your time.

Dexter’s laboratory.

Yeah.

I did watch it a little bit but I wasn’t.

I was a touch old.

You remember the Super Friends.

No.

It was like Justice Friends.

Yeah it was Justice Friends.

Super Friends is real.

Okay.

It was like Fake Avengers.

And it had like a Thor parody and like a Hulk parody called the indomitable crunk or something indubitable crunk or something like that.

No shit.

I don’t remember.

But it was really funny.

And the Thor guy was cool because he had an axe.

And it was an axe because he was a rocker.

Oh I get it.

He’s like a metal head.

Was that like the Powerpuff Girl time.

Yeah.

Yeah yeah.

A lot of Gen D cartoons.

Yeah.

Gen D Tartakovsky.

I don’t know what that means.

That’s the guy that made Powerpuff Girls.

Unclear.

And also I believe Dexter’s Lab.

Wow.

Yeah that’s why they look the same.

Yeah he has a very unique style.

Kind of Scott Pilgrim-y actually.

You think so.

Well Scott Pilgrim-y is very Gen D Tartakovsky.

Yeah that’s what I mean.

Scott Pilgrim the comic not the movie.

The film.

Not Michael Cera.

It really looked like Michael Cera’s face in Dexter’s lab.

Hi I’m.

Gosh I’m so awkwardly.

I’m so cute in an awkward way.

Do you remember this guy.

This guy? Yeah.

Brienne of Tarth? Who is it? He’s a dude.

He was like praying and he was like.

Oh right right.

Let’s think of something to discuss.

Newspapers are weird.

We’ve been dating a long time.

Let’s think of something to talk about.

Yeah.

These apples are delicious.

How come you never want to see the movies that I want to see? Why do you never look at me during? I know it’s your favorite Dan.

It’s your favorite thing to say.

It’s the best.

It is one of the funniest.

I need to bust that out on Susie sometime.

We’ll just be like silently in the car or something like driving somewhere you know.

But you have to say it like with a slight lilt of like about to cry in your voice.

Like why do you never look at me during? Oh I’m gonna do that.

I’m so gonna do that.

Oh boy what is this guy talking about? It doesn’t matter.

Is there anything to be gained from him? Yeah like sometimes when you talk to people it activates stuff.

Why won’t he shut up? You are so boring.

Yeah like sometimes when you talk to people it like activates some stuff.

Fair enough.

Yeah me too.

Pleasure was all mine I guess.

Yeah it was totally mine.

On we go.

Remember how I reached for this guy and cried out for your death? Yeah it’s totally worth it.

Oh god you’re too interesting.

My brain can’t take all the details that I’m super interested in.

Password.

You’re the old blood.

Whoa dude when did we learn that? A long time ago.

Cool.

Oh hey.

Wow that guy watching the door.

Already dead.

Yeah is he? You think so? I don’t know.

Seems like a pretty presumptuous game.

Yeah maybe he’s just not interested in what you’re trying to say.

Let’s pick four or five new subjects.

He kind of looks like he’s like.

He’s like eh? You know what I’m talking about? Yeah let me tell you about the 40s.

The 1640s.

16.

Back in my day we did arts and farts and crafts.

What? It’s from fucking went on American summer.

Oh that’s right.

Yeah yeah yeah.

Oh man.

Guys wait up.

Oh I fucking adore that movie.

Yeah I like it too.

I’m glad.

I was really happy you liked it.

Dude.

I mean fucking Stella.

They’re the best.

Yeah.

Yeah yeah yeah.

Was um.

Was the balding one in it? David Wain? Yeah.

He directed it.

Oh.

Yeah.

Stella was very interesting.

Cause like.

I don’t know if this is interesting to people but like in comedy writing.

Okay okay.

Throw up your hands like oh Jesus.

Tell me more.

No go ahead.

No in comedy writing.

Like comedy writing 101.

One of the first things they teach you is that um.

You want to have either insane people in a normal world.

Like uh.

I guess Tenacious D would be an example.

Or normal people in an insane world.

Like Flight of the Conchords.

Um.

And it’s like the rubbing up against each other and like the problems those cause.

That’s where the humor is.

So it’s very rare you’ll have like crazy people in a crazy world.

And that’s what Stella was.

And that’s why it was like so experimental.

You know.

Like um.

Cause it broke like one of those like cardinal quote unquote rules of comedy.

Uh huh.

Cause like they’re weird.

And then like they’ll be like.

You know.

A guy will be depressed and then he’ll show up at a girls door.

And it’s like raining on his head but they’re indoors.

You know like that kind of shit.

And that’s why I like that show man.

It really had like.

I loved it’s balls.

You know I never actually watched the show Stella.

I’ve only ever seen their like internet shorts.

Right right.

Like pizza.

I have never seen that.

You’ve never seen pizza? No.

Let’s look at it immediately after this is over.

Oh my god dude.

It’s like one of my favorite all time videos.

It better not be like pizza time.

No no no no no.

Okay.

It’s super fun.

It’s I mean.

I’m still scarred from pizza time.

Oh god.

Oh you seem like a happy harry.

Oh god damn it.

There we go.

Boy he brings that fucking weapon down with authority.

It’s okay.

Authority like he’s Thor.

Yeah Stella pizza like.

I feel like that defined my sense of humor for like a good three years.

Holy shit.

Yeah.

That’s awesome.

And their other internet bits are great too but like that one in particular is just like.

It’s an amazing feeling when you find something like that that you connect with so immediately that you’re like yes this please forever.

Yeah.

That’s honestly how I felt the first time I saw a play to the concords.

Really.

Well yeah cause like.

I know you’re so into them.

I’ve been doing quote unquote serious music for a long time and that kind of hit like a dead end.

And.

But I thought it was great Dan.

Thank you.

I like the band it’s just like we couldn’t keep going.

And I don’t know.

I just felt really lost and not sure what to do.

So I started taking those comedy classes at UCB and then guess that must have been like 2007 or 8.

That’s when I saw Flight of the Conchords and I was like oh my god I can like combine these two things like because up up until that point like I’d seen comedy music but like the music wasn’t good.

Yeah.

Or I’d seen comedy music that that like.

That like the music was good but it wasn’t funny.

But they were the first that like just totally got it right.

I was like holy shit.

It’s fascinating.

Yeah.

I had no idea that was the catalyst.

That was it.

I mean Lonely Island too which was around the same time.

Where I was like Jesus.

And Tenacious D for the longest time.

Like there’s just.

There’s very few examples but like they’re all like so superior to their peers I guess in a lot of ways.

Yeah Tenacious D is pretty good.

They’re fucking unbelievable.

I would love to meet Jack Black someday or Kyle Gass.

Let’s show Kyle Gass.

No he’s fucking awesome.

He’s amazing.

Like their whole band.

John.

Shit I can’t remember his name.

It’s Konevski or Konevski.

Something like that.

There’s a third Tenacious D member.

Well they’re backing band.

They’re for their live show.

Those guys are fucking unreal.

Like that dude whose name I said.

Whose name I sadly can’t remember at the moment is Cazchione.

I’ll look it up.

He’s such a good guitar player.

John Malkovich.

That’s the one.

I like John Malkovich.

Yeah me too.

Really? Do you? I was just lying.

Not as a guitar player but yeah he’s a talented actor.

Oh yeah I guess he is huh.

That’s what he does.

Oh man.

You and I man we have a rapport.

Oh yeah.

We have a thing.

We’re in a band.

It’s true.

Ain’t that some shit.

I never really thought about that.

It is weird.

It is not the first thing I think of when I think of us hanging out.

Yeah.

But we did start a band.

Yeah Brian too.

Whatever.

I guess when you’re ninety percent of something someone has to do that other ten percent.

Yeah I know what you mean.

Wait creepy runner guy really didn’t fucking make a break for him at that time.

Well it’s because I fucking saw him and went for him.

He was just like oh oh no.

Just ganked his shit.

Yeah.

Immediately.

You can quote me on that.

Yeah.

Immediately in quotation marks.

Is he still like shaking around? Arin Hanson 2015.

Immediately.

And then you can put that in another quote after that.

And then you can put that quote in the bank.

Don’t expect me to go easy on this guy.

He’s like I’ll throw a rock at you then.

He’s got oil.

Oh it covers me in oil.

And then if somebody throws fire at me.

Well then I’m just fucked.

Oh shit.

Yeah.

I didn’t think of that.

Hey F you.

How about that.

How about F you.

How about that.

Wow these zombies really work in tandem.

Oh yeah they do.

They work together.

There’s an awful lot of fire around.

It’s unfortunate.

Not a big deal in my opinion.

Hello.

Oh no.

Oh no.

Oh no.

I think I’m cool with the situation.

Oh I’m on fire.

I am on fire.

Hold on let me readjust this mic.

Okay that was good.

Oh that’s what I needed.

Okay.

What did you need? I needed a longer mic arm.

A little leverage.

Dude comes in.

Hey I’m Mike.

You need an arm? Mine’s twice as long as my other arm.

Yep.

It’s a disorder.

But you know what.

I’m talking about the long arm in case you were confused which arm I was talking about.

He’s got like one arm that knuckle drags on the ground.

The other one’s like a tiny baby arm.

Oh Mike you and your crazy arms.

Get out of here.

Fuck you.

You’re gross.

You disgust me.

Leave.

But you sure are hilarious sometimes.

With your bullshit arms.

Bullshit arms.

I don’t even believe they’re real.

Take off the other arm.

Take off the other arm.

It’s a fake prosthetic arm.

Mike’s like why do I hang out with you guys? I’m like I don’t know maybe because you fucking suck.

You’re an idiot.

I fuck you.

You’re an asshole.

You’re an asshole.

Second mic adjustment of the episode.

Professionalism.

You are such a normal person.

Well it’s like slowly sinking and like every time I would look at it it was like two inches further down and I’m like yeah.

That’s interesting.

I was like where you going you naughty sailor microphone.

Maybe you should tighten it.

I did that’s what I just did.

Is that? It is that.

I don’t trust you.

Well.

Give me a reason to trust you.

Oh I got one.

Fuck you.

Sorry everyone we just watched pizza by Stella and there’s a very intense fuck you line in it that made us both laugh so now we’re really feeling it.

Oh I love that bit.

Yeah.

Oh don’t he’s in a little cagey cage.

Oh whatever he’d eat me if I was in a cage.

Bro if I killed every person who wanted to eat me.

Fucking there’d be a um.

Probably one or two people.

Because they’re just a hidden cannibal.

How many cannibals do you think you’ve met in your life and you didn’t know it? Well all of them first of all because I ain’t done none none none no cannibals.

I don’t think I’ve ever been down here before.

There’s a lot of dead bodies there.

In my life.

You’re in a happy mushroom town.

Are those mushrooms? I don’t know they’re glowy and nice.

Sir? Sir? Yeah.

Hey what happened? Sir? Just grab him.

What happened? Just shaking him around.

Tell me.

Explain it to me.

Did you kill these men? He’s got an axe in his chest.

Was it you? Are you the murderer? Wait where am I? Oh my god.

Whoa this is awesome.

I’m here already? Sir? Excuse? Sir? I wonder if I can kill these dudes.

Are you? Oh they’re just the dudes with the drapery but they don’t have drapery.

Wait I think this is poison water.

Yep.

Mmm.

Showy.

Does the poison water hurt you? Or is it just like you got a poison counter and then you’re dead? Uh so this goes up and then once it hits the top then I’m poisoned.

I see.

And then I get I start losing health gradually.

I see.

I wonder if I can move him over here.

Can you get to a safe place? Yeah I don’t know this map.

I never I never actually came here.

I think I turned around in my last playthrough.

Yeah fuck you.

Sir? Come over here.

Come over here.

Hey.

Come here.

Don’t do that.

Oh my god.

Oh no.

Oh my god long noodle arm.

God speaking of fuck.

Jesus are you Mike? Yeah.

I was gonna say like I thought he was carrying a weapon but it’s just his fucking long ass arm hanging down.

Oof that’s creepy.

Oh.

Oh it’s coming at me.

Oh Mike.

Coming at me.

Right hand blue.

You are a master twister.

Yeah.

Twister master? Yeah nice got him.

Good job.

Got him.

I feel like my self congratulatory attitude.

There’s an item over here.

Sir? May I take this? Yeah.

Do you mind? Okay I think I can go over there.

Oh yeah I can just kind of scrape by.

Neat.

Wait what was that? Is that a note? Oh it was a dead guy.

No big deal.

Mmm.

Did you see me? Noo.

Noo.

What about these guys? I bet you can get to that little island.

I can I can I can.

Quick quick quick.

Oh baby.

I bet I can slam this dude in the face.

Oh god what is happening? Oh gross.

Oh no out of the water.

Get out of the poison get out of the poison.

Awwww.

Do you have antidote? Yeah.

Okay.

And hot no no come on man.

Jeez.

Don’t do your w- oh god.

Oh oh no.

I woke the dragon.

Ahhh.

This is awkward.

Stop.

Very awkward.

No.

Oh jeez health.

I wanted I don’t want to be here anymore.

Into the poison.

Oh shit.

Into the safety of the poison.

Oh god.

Oh my god that was so close.

He’s coming.

Boy those eels really fucking make it worse.

Yeah I uh.

Not a happy camper right now.

I don’t know how to get around this rock.

I just can’t figure it out.

Whoa.

I did it.

Yay.

Oh.

Come on.

Oh jeez.

Yeah someone else is having some trouble around here too.

Alright buddy.

Show me what you got.

Ow ow.

Jeez.

That was actually more than I thought.

That was actually more than I thought you got.

That arm.

Ahhh.

That crazy arm.

Woohoo.

Cool.

We’re friends.

Everything is cool.

We’ve hung out before.

We’ve got ice cream together.

We just must be having a bad day.

Cool.

What happened? Did your girlfriend break up with you? Or did you have a bad day at work? Or did your dog? Or did your dog bite you weird? Wasn’t there a song like.

Had a bad day again.

Had a bad day.

That one.

Oh no that one sucks too.

Sing a sad song just turn it around.

Fuck you.

Oh god.

Oh god I think the noodles are going to kill me.

Yeah.

Ahhh.

Oh god they’re so evil.

Jeez noodles.

Chill out I’m supposed to be eating you.

Woah.

You’re ramming it right into me.

Oh there’s another guy over there.

Fuck.

Oh now I lost where I was.

Like where did I come from? You came from there.

Oh I came from over there okay.

Uh so this way I guess.

Here we go.

I’m cool.

You are covered in gross.

It’s not even necessarily blood it’s just liquid gross.

Yeah it’s sort of like wine.

Dude I was reading a thing today that like it was like 50 famous albums that were.

Sorry let me start over.

It listed the working titles of like really famous albums.

So like.

Oh god.

Like oh dear.

It was like what your favorite albums were almost called essentially.

Okay.

And Dookie by Green Day.

Yeah.

Was originally called.

Pookie? Liquid Dookie.

Man you know what.

Yeah based on.

I think they went with a better title.

Yeah based on the bowel movements of one of the members of the band and it was changed at the last minute because it was deemed too gross.

Ascend the ladder.

No.

Okay.

I’m gonna go over here first.

Go down the chute.

Hold on there’s an item over here.

Alright.

I’ve been running through these swamps for days bro.

For days.

Literally days.

To the viewers.

For me it was like.

I don’t know.

It’s been 20 minutes.

Yeah so far.

Oh god.

Goodbye.

Don’t follow me.

Yeah enough of your sass.

Is he following me? Sounds like a yes.

He does seem to be clamoring faster.

Yeah.

Oh there he is.

Is he looking for me? Don’t come in here.

Please don’t come in here.

Alright see ya.

You can’t go up this ladder can you? Okay cool.

With your gross long arm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Fucking nasty.

Fucking gross arm.

That’s gotta be hard actually cause you’d like overshoot the jerk off.

Oh yeah.

You know you’d like be going for your dick but you’d like hit your upper thigh and you’re like damn it.

I know what you mean.

Damn these arms.

Oh you can go up the ladder faster? I need to go down the ladder.

I need to go down the ladder faster.

I need to go up the ladder faster.

That’s great.

Wait what was that slimy shit? What slimy shit? Probably nothing.

Yeah I mean if you’re going up a ladder there’s nothing you can do.

Oh okay.

I don’t know why I went this way.

Great great great.

God I’ve never been here.

I hope you’re listening god.

Yeah.

I knew that.

Just for you.

I know everything.

Yeah.

I made this game and you and time.

Which you’re wasting.

Of mine.

And your audience.

But I made them too.

Really I don’t have a dog in this fight.

Yeah.

I don’t claim responsibility for it.

Do you ever wish or think god is a woman if god exists? Um sure.

Like wouldn’t that be nicer? If it was a chick? If it was like a mother.

Like mother nature.

She was just nice? Yeah.

What if god was just nice? Yeah.

Why does god always have to be fucking all wrathy and shit? Yeah.

So vengeful.

In all the books.

Yeah seriously.

Just like don’t do this and don’t do that.

Like alright thanks.

Cool.

Well gonna smite ya.

Holy crap I’m at the very beginning of the game.

No shit.

Oh yeah.

Whoa.

Great job.

Whoa.

This game is interestingly designed.

There’s a fucking lichen right in here.

Is he gone forever? Oh he’s gone forever.

Cause you killed his ass? I guess so.

Good job.

Wow I am at the beginning of the fucking game.

Aw does this take you back? Well I didn’t even know cause I never went that way before.

Right.

Holy shit that’s crazy.

But now you can visit it whenever you like.

Wow.

Visit all your fun green poisonous friends.

No.

Okay.

I mean I’m going to right now.

Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow.

Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun.

Oh my palms.

You just get off the ladder and you have stumps.

Yep.

Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun.

That is smarts.

Yeah.

Well you know what it gets you down the ladder.

You know what it gets you.

Okay.

Yeah you know what it gets you down the ladder faster.

Yeah that it does.

Porky pig.

I’m gonna go this way.

More eels.

Boy they timed that just right.

So close.

So close.

Can you do your tumble jump run to go faster through that poison pool? No running is the fastest.

Okay.

But um thanks for the suggestion.

Hey I like to not help.

Whoa that’s far.

Not gonna drop down there.

Also noodles.

Yeah also fucking noodles galore.

That is like overcooked ramen right there.

Like rave party noodles.

Rave party noodles.

Wow.

Alright bye noodles.

Cool.

I’m gonna go back to where I know where I’m going.

I’m surprised man.

Yeah what is our current objective right now.

I feel like I haven’t known for a couple episodes.

Advance.

Meaning.

Go forward.

Okay.

Move ahead.

That I got.

It’s not too late.

I will whip it.

Whip it good.

Uh yeah I mean that’s literally the only thing in this game is just to go.

Just go.

But I mean like is there like a beast that is coming up.

Like the next witch essentially.

Oh sure.

The next boss will actually turn the moon red.

Oh.

And it’ll change a lot of stuff in the world.

A bread moon.

Ooh I got a white church cloak or some shit like that.

Put it on.

I don’t want to but okay.

Oh those are church clothes.

Oh I can get that girl now.

Finally.

You know she impressed by my papa tree.

Yo I’m papal as fuck.

Those bitches you know they see my papa tree.

God damn the fucking bad guy.

Yeah yeah.

Why the bad guy always.

Always with his shakies.

Get out of here.

Oh the bag guy.

Yeah.

I thought you said bad guy and I was like Arin if you don’t want to face bad guy.

You’re in the wrong world frankly.

You’re playing the wrong game.

Yeah.

Is he still chasing me.

He doesn’t give up really.

I got a beast roar.

That’s good.

Are you stronger now? Like you weren’t strong enough to take him on before but maybe you can kill him.

Oh yeah I’m super strong now.

Well let me try.

Well it’s just if he kills me.

Oh I know.

First of all I’ll be dead.

He’ll drag you around.

Um.

Let me uh.

I don’t know I don’t want to fight him.

Okay.

Really strong.

Why not.

Okay.

I’ll give it a shot.

Let me get my money.

Let me get my molotov out.

Yeah.

Well fuck the.

You try to hit him with like projectile shit.

Ugh.

My bag.

How dare you disturb my bag.

Just keep chucking shit at him.

I only have four though.

Cool.

Three left then.

God he’s strong as shit.

Wow.

Wowee.

I don’t know where he’s going.

Okay run.

Run.

Fuck it.

haha yeah no no no no get out of there boy he’s the one I can take him I can take him yeah oh boy ha ha she ate that bitch Oh protect yourself well oh boy stay away yeah away ha nice oh god oh no ha boy he is so fucking lanky shit whoa whoa health goo we’re all friends oh god nice yeah right in the face how you like that take oh yeah shoot you bitch shoot ya slash yeah got him yeah give me what’s in the bag and it’s just like fucking entrails like oh I want none of this it’s like all cookies and you’re like oh awesome double stuff I was just yeah but I guess not would that have killed you outright I don’t know let me just open that okay yeesh I don’t I really don’t know where the fuck I am right now that is honest to go without saying um it’s great though did you search his corpse yeah he just gave me some level up shit okay cool well his ass is dead now oh I know where I am there’s a big pit right there and then there’s some dudes down there ah the dude pit I’ve been to that club oh I’ve been to thrash my my sister and I when we went to Amsterdam we stayed across the street from a place called the cock ring and I was like Danna don’t look out the window there’s something out the window some thing gay yeah the cock ring that was really mad and that’s a place that chicks like to hang out yeah have you ever accidentally walked into a gay bar I’ve never accidentally walked into a bar oh that’s I forgot you don’t drink it’s a it happened to me once in Amsterdam because everything’s like so close together and like lots of different languages are being spoken so I just went in to get um you know have a smoke and have a drink and like I look I look around and I’m just like I’m not paying attention because you’re super high the entire time you’re in Amsterdam yeah I’m just like it’s a lot of dudes here and then but I’m meeting my sister there because we agreed because it had an interesting sign I think so we were like let’s meet there at the cock ring it wasn’t the cock ring oh it was pretty nondescript from the outside and then my sister comes in and she’s like Dan this is like the gayest of the gay bars and I’m like I thought I felt unusually attractive like a lot of a lot of people were just like smiling at me I’m like people are friendly here yeah Amsterdam yay like this place actually people are extremely friendly in Holland sweet that was one of my favorite places to go I thought you said Amsterdam Amsterdam is in Holland Arin I’m gonna pretend you were joking and then I’ll ask you off camera if you were joking I’m gonna pretend to California I thought you were in the United States don’t lie to me I’ve never been to Europe Wow really something delicious you put on a pancake yeah take that you motherfucking straw hat wearing motherfucker hmm lanky me oh god he’s got the shimmy knees oh my god do you ever read scary stories to tell in the dark I haven’t but it’s constantly been recommended to me really yeah I mean like I don’t think it’s scary now but like when you were a kid that shit was like unnecessarily terrifying oh really yeah and we’re shell Silverstein stuff was terrifying shell Silverstein was pretty adult in his kid stuff because it was just like his it was mostly his drawings yeah they’re weird and then it would just be like Harry was a good guy he went down to the store and then he met the people eater and the people eater gobbled him up and it’s like yeah like whoa what yeah yeah I like shell Silverstein’s books because there was one called dirty Dan and like every time the teacher read it the kids would be like you’re a dirty Dan I was like yup he wrote that for me like they were trying to make fun of me but I was too stupid to realize it so I wore it as a badge of honor fuck yeah then I can’t make fun of you yeah I learned that from Tyrion yeah what is it use your weakness as an armor yeah wear it like armor it can never be used to hurt you oh I love fucking Tyrion that’s what he said oh but scary stories to tell in the dark I believe it was the third book had one about a scarecrow which super terrified me as a kid and it’s like they were short like most of the things were only two pages long and it’s like one of those things where like it’s the last line that like makes it super horrifying oh yeah and the teacher was like reading it out to the class and she didn’t know how it ended either so as she’s reading it like you see her face change and she was just like oh I guess I have to read it now but like we were all fucking traumatized as shit running there’s a happy swimmer running Oh God God oh it’s not just sharks for me I’m realizing it’s things in the water yeah have you ever seen that episode of X-Files where like it was like a pool monster no it was an invisible pool monster that would just pull you under the water don’t like that yeah that that terrified me yeah the X-Files was scary for me as a kid yeah it was well yeah you were a little bit younger I was already like I think X-Files was what like late 90s um I was definitely a teenager when I was like mid-90s popular yeah yeah but I was old enough to be like cool you know like yeah but if I was like eight like that shit would have been the worst I was probably younger than that yeah well you know what the the thing was about it that made me super scared that like primed me for it was the intro is not only was that fucking song creepy as shit yeah and still is creeping you out I’m like it it it it doesn’t sound dated like you’d think like oh man it’s Xynthi yeah probably sounds dated now no it’s creepy as shit right still but there’s like a scene in it where it shows like a ghost walking down a hallway and that shit scared the fuck out of me really yeah I can’t remember the I can’t remember the opening I’ll have to watch it it’s um and then it has like a like a face of an alien getting like warped oh yeah well aliens were like their main deal right yeah like it would always ultimately come back to that yeah it was it was the the major arcing thing was like an alien conspiracy look at my knee oh you got that stanky leg nicely done hey boys you like it when I stabilize myself on an inclined rock oh yeah you like the way I dance well you are covered in grossness yeah whatever it’s my thing yeah like you just walk into a bar like that whoa you saw that before I did yeah well I knew it was coming okay I was just trying to run out of the way but I rolled instead and then things got weird shit got crazy dude in here boy people really use bird cages to fucking as doors makeshift security systems so this guy’s gonna die sir would you like to die please yeah it’s like hold on I’m turning around the cannon well I think I can fire it yeah bang that wasn’t as impressive as I thought it would be yeah that’s okay I thought it wasn’t gonna shoot anything and you were just like bang there goes the cannon whoa whoa there’s a really strong damn that’s a ton of damage that strong yeah no no no I think yeah maybe it’s his new weapon yeah when he has the like fucking super pin needle acts of death yeah then that’s when I know I need to be on my toes extra careful I miss a house I feel like I might have missed a house this one I think I missed this one there’s nothing here is this what I’m looking for I’m looking for that this is it I found it I found it it’s nothing all right so this is you’re gonna meet this guy that I mean that’s it really great I can’t wait I don’t want to spoil anything he’s got a really nice personality this fucking guy this fucking guy this guy right here hunter what is he hunter he’s not a hunter oh he is a douchebag oh dear he does not seem friendly friendly people don’t drag weapons like that he’s cool though actually I don’t want to mess with him right now okay hey Brock can I fuck switch you yeah okay from the distance yeah totally yeah I ain’t doing it you ever see how high no oh I don’t watch weed movies dang that makes sense but it’s method man and red man and a lot of men yeah they’re gangsta shit and they’re talking to Fred Ward you know him right not Fred Ward god damn it what’s his name Fred fucks from it’s from like best in show and all those movies god you’d totally know him if you saw him but he’s just like a super white guy and he’s like trying to convince them to come to their his university that guy that’s like hello I’m white I mean there’s a lot of people like that big nose yeah I’ll have to show to you and and finally they say yes and they’re like yeah well fucks with you and then the other ones like yeah well fucks with you and he’s like great then we’ll Fox with each other okay I got a how many poison knives that I just get this is integral poison knife oh I have 20 nice dude you’re gonna this is gonna be fun what does blue elixir do I don’t fucking know great well it said it right there but so I guess we’ll never know not important all right sit down you should know what your items do Arin that might really help all right fine jeez liquid medicine that makes still bodies undetectable so enemies won’t see me if I stand still that’s really helpful to you oh boy all right this is this is some shit right here okay so this fucking guy wait he’s oh there he is look at this motherfucker sir what is he doing is he praying as he’s it looks like he’s eating dead bodies oh well that’s not as cool sir blimey don’t scare me like that it’s not what it looks like yes I took you for a monster oh thank the stars you’re fairly normal was it you put down that awful beast what beast I don’t trust this guy yeah well if you talk when he talks would you know of any safe havens safe haven preferably with a lot of delicious people yeah kind of you know what I want to withhold information oh shit look at you course not I should have known this whole place is falling apart once again it’s the curse of yarn all right well I’ll see you later you’re not gonna engage him more what like you’re not gonna kill him what the fuck is he gonna what do you think he’s a bad guy right oh you again you thought any night so you can be like oh yeah sure go to Odin Chapel will he kill the people oh yeah cool stop oh he will kill the people will he really not if I have anything to say about oh yeah fuck you oh no oh my god get the fuck out of here Jesus really strong all right so here’s here’s how to beat this guy this is this is a strat just for you hardcore players I’ll tell you about the audio chapel all right uh are you within range so he can’t do jack shit when I’m in here okay son of a bitch whoops don’t move out of the way you big dupe Oh poison knives yeah just getting right here and then oh yeah it’s like a guaranteed poison and then he just fucking starts dying then you just play the waiting game yep that’s very good he’s super hard I’ve never beaten him legitimately really I mean I think this is totally yeah I think this is legitimate this is how I would fight him in real life yeah that’s true Wow and one poison dart I’ll just take him down the whole way no it’ll take him down like maybe a third damn that’s a cool vocal effect oh damn well noted how difficult he is yeah it’s it’s it’s ridiculous I tried to fight him like like ten times and then I just ran in here for like refuge right to heal and then he like didn’t come in and I was like oh hmm interesting did you hear what he said like you call me a beast I didn’t ask for this that’s like damn that’s a cool fucking that’s a cool character development kind of deal yeah but today dies yeah especially like in the middle of a fight oh geez man might wanna like figure out the beam to stand behind that’s cool I never first of all I never called him a beast so I don’t know what he’s talking about right he’s probably he’s probably got some issues to work out yeah I mean made of electricity stop with the baron the tornado ness sheesh she’s Louise okay I think I think he was totally meant to be killed this way because most people take like a bunch of poison knives to get poisoned oh I say yeah oh gosh sweet cool then and he’s raining blood why would he have been in human form that to trick people I don’t know but he’s eating people he tricked them didn’t he oh yeah they look pretty checked that Baker won’t be baking anything anytime soon anytime soon or ever other than a delicious batch of death cakes hmm that sounds good oh I baked myself some of that you fucking Mario 64’d yourself did hold on there’s an item up there then we finally had a crossover moment between Mario 64 in this playthrough I wanted to get that item up there okay was that the guy you were right up there the guy okay I’m not afraid of them I just no no you’re not afraid you’re not afraid you’re dividing your time just taking time gotta have 51,000 plus blood echoes look man who cash those in bro yeah well I will okay cheese ooh what ooh that’s nice what the there’s a I get the cannon oh I can’t have it yet cuz I don’t have enough um I don’t have enough strength or skill but that would be instead of the blunderbuss yeah cool it’s really strong you can probably tell by the fact that it’s called a cannon yeah it’s a fucking cannon I can fall here nice I’m a-okay bro yeah put it on your hat and it’ll be head cannon you know what I’m gonna that’s gonna be my laugh from now on haha just like one really loud sharp angry condescending like intense sound oh wow I had slow poison resistance ooh that’s a good hat nice black church hat ooh oh these are all good hats super good hats these are nice hats real nice hats whoa there’s a there’s some good stuff here physical defense what am I at one 110 this is 90 but oh it has really good slow poison resistance nice super good that’s a nice garb a real nice guy I’m gonna go with the black church garb do it and you know what what you know what tell me oh you know what say it you know what tell me I’m still gonna wear these gloves okay you know whatever oh shit changed my mind sully bandage that’s horrible yeah that doesn’t look like changing my shit you know it makes me feel like yeah I have agency over the things that I do mixing it up a little bit yeah nice trousers I like my trousers look I’m like a church whoa you look badass now please don’t fuck with me mmm you’re so swishy all of us yeah I’m super swishy dude yeah all right check this guy out okay I sneak up on it with my church garb I like that this fucking mass killer is standing in front of you and you’re just changing your outfit hello damn yeah fuck him right up he’s pretty strong don’t do it don’t do it don’t do it man oh we did the thing whoa that was gross yeah well he’s super strong when he does that what was it it’s like a snake head yuck he’s like super snake Las Plagas um that reminded me of the what is it the last of us what no what’s the thing that has the gross fungus II things coming out of people’s heads the last of us that is laughs also resident before ah yes that’s the one I saw Barry playing the last of us fucking super crazy depressing yeah I never played it so no spoilers no problem I played like the first 30 minutes and I was like this is neat sir could you put away your head please it’s really gross don’t make fun of him dude that’s the same guy right yeah it’s a strong whoa whoa and the snake heads thought of this guy yeah somebody needs to talk to somebody oh no no my 52,000 oh damn you get it back right I can but I’m really far away I think oh you got to go you got to go get him oh no oh this is a horrible thing to have happened oh no do you want to do it off-camera just race over there you know I can I can do it easily it’s just stressful okay oh my god when was the last time I lit a fucking thing and I never opened the door because the motherfucking oh dog I didn’t get past the part oh it was right when this would open it was I was right there to open this door I was right there where were you can blaze it that looks like the thing fucking Schwarzenegger tries to use on predator come on do it oh that’s an awesome awesome I love Arnold me too especially like that era Arnold yeah dude are you excited for Terminator Genesis hell no I’m not where old-ass Arnold fights CG young Arnold oh is that what happened oh yeah oh boy he’s like oh I got old because my scheme is made of organic material or something you sure why not and then Daenerys is Sarah Connor is it really Daenerys yeah Targaryen yeah she always looks so different when she doesn’t have the blonde hair well I think she’s blonde in that movie yeah yes so get stoked bro get crunk get dizzy because it’s time for Terminator Genesis I don’t know what the fucking deal is with Trinidad anymore but I know that if you got caught smoking weed there when I visited it would not have been good oh yeah it’s like instant jail time just in jail time isn’t so bad in a trinidad jail it’s also a Tobago jail my friend who lived there was like yeah if you got caught with weed they would throw you in jail and then when you missed your flight back home the American Embassy would call and say hey it we have on record that you have two Americans in your country how the fuck did he lead the shot so perfectly it was pretty good just really nailed it oh wow your first blood-borne rage cool no yeah that was that’s pretty bad that was like five levels I could have gone up yeah how how how long will that take to get back I don’t know man like many episodes well it doesn’t matter like it’s I can still advance it’s just I won’t be as strong as I wanted to be right no I think that matters I think that matters a lot do you need to grind off camera no okay you mean I’m here do it ah damn it good thank you you fell into my booby trap do you already have a thousand your 50th of the way there man you’re right y’all you’re so right yeah Oh always look at the black side of life everybody does that you know everybody does that Arnold thing da da da but he doesn’t he never does that he does he doesn’t just look at him look at his face isn’t that the face of a man who would you know I’ve been known to die every so often in my life just randomly so if you look here past our quarterly reports you’ll see that the graph indicates sorry that was a violent fun I think it was made famous by will sasso oh yeah his uh what was it stolen identity three I’ve never seen never seen that no that was one of my favorite bits of all time maybe we’ll watch it after this it’s a mad TV bit it’s like he’s just like all of my movies are about stolen identities so he wants to make a new movie called stolen identity yeah it’s called stolen entity three because seagulls make so much more a lot of money they do yeah will sasso is a massively underappreciated comedian yeah I love him like on mad TV and it’s funny because key and peel are the ones who like really went on to do big things from mad TV I mean Phil Lamar too but we’re can peel were never like actually cast members though right oh yeah they were I think I don’t I don’t think so I think they just kind of showed up every so they were like guests yeah weird it’s possible um but will sasso was like he stuck out like in like skits you could always like be like oh he’s the funniest one you know yeah he just has like that natural understanding and then and then he did three Stooges did he really yeah well I need the money I’m sure yeah who doesn’t which is fine I could use this I could use some three Stooges money yeah bro I could use some Stooges money if they were like do you want to be in the shitty three Stooges movie I’d be like hell yeah bro yuck yuck I’m I do a very good mo dare I say whoo whoo whoo sure eat 14,000 you’re gonna fucking make this back no problem yeah it’s it’s you’re you’re you’re in the area where like guys just fucking give you a ton of experience points you say that I do I’m saying it right now hello snake friend shoot you did stay right now yeah oh I did it wrong it’s okay you got it yeah there we go that’s awesome ow ow ow ow stop it they’re very strong very strong don’t hit very strong don’t like it okay there you go they’re a pain in the ass to fight there’s one spot where there’s like three of them and you’re like gross are they have like those are the noodles coming out of their head right not that like snake that attacks you but the other ones oh I never really thought about that I think they are like they’re fucking gross I guess they might be yeah hey baby come here baby baby be careful this is the guy before oh did he did he get me before yeah I’m gonna get him Oh God this guy doesn’t fuck around bang don’t fuck around I said don’t fuck don’t fuck do fuck around whoa easy there in visit guy so here okay so you want to go in visit Jeff go in your Invisa house fucking you think you’re fucking the Invisa shit but guess what you’re doing is a not I was in yeah guess what you’re visible oh no oh shit he went there oh I went there how you doing all right tell me what you’re doing okay so here is the backtrack area oh and try to tumble a little slower if you know what I’m saying oh yeah it’s like Amish sexy like I see ankle all right oh I don’t want to operate the thing so I got to do this yay and that finally makes the thing operable nice you can go all the way up here and then you’re back at this area and you ruined your pretty new dress with entrails well whatever again that’s what happens I guess I just got to accept the inevitable all right so this is where the lamp is also crazy crows so yay return to his dream and I’m gonna level the motherfucker up cool and I could have been leveling up 70,000 souls there’s no need there’s no need to to think about what might have been but you know what you’re right talk about we got to talk about in the now right yeah yeah think about all the great things you got going for you like your doll friend and nobody else in this world true why is it you desire wait hold on I actually have an idea every time I see what is it you desire I always think of fucking fairy wish prints what is it you desire all you have to do is call my name something like that I think of it as um you played dragon’s lair right yeah a long time ago it’s the the princess what’s her name I figured her name the pretty princess yeah the one in the black dress yes really revealing and I have a I think I have a cell from that but she’s like what is thy desire you remember that I totally do and I it just until you said I have a cell from that it never occurred to me that that game has cells yeah it’s an animated game fucking awesome we have the that game was hard as shit by the way yes it was thank you for reminding me Lord what is that oh is that a bad guy god fucking damn it all right so we’re I came here for a reason and I just have to think of where everything is I think it’s back here there’s a woman in this area that will only talk to you if you’re wearing church clothes hmm interesting how did you find that out I watched a thing oh okay cool are they two bad guys well dear well that’s not good I can have anything to do with that situation okay it might be that’s the kind of thing you’d only want to take on if you’ve leveled up five extra level scurrying beast oh he’s strong what does he give you the scurrying beast yeah oh he just gives you like stuff to level up with oh cool but I like a lot yeah like a lot nice um but I mean it’s just cool it’s like free stuff yeah it feels good so he’s there feels good to murder all right where the fuck is this place who is alive to be chanting in a creepy way that’s true right like where’s that coming from what is this noise what is chasing me is there something chasing me there is a lot of sound happening that I am NOT enjoying yeah I’m scared not operable okay this actually you know what for a game that like really is fun this game does it is unsettling yeah agreed I bet if I play this alone I’d be like is probably I don’t what is that no is it these dogs might be the dogs this is a strip oh it’s a pig where we’ll kick up the pig oh there you are you little truffle humping little truffle humping little truffle humping bastard oh look at him snuffling around for truffles do do uh pigs eat truffles pigs find truffles they do yeah yeah yeah that’s a that’s a thing and I’m sure that’ll work itself out yeah yeah they take us a certain type of pig and they they sniff truffles on the ground interesting yeah thank you I might be fucked okay I guess I’m just jumping right in I guess we’re doing this hey buddy there’s one there’s two bow-wow bow-wow oh god bow-wow geez man oh whoa whoa not cool I’m sure you can get your things back if you peppy please doggies who’s my paper guy I’ll just go just kill the dog and let’s get all my shit back it’ll be fine I’m trying to remember where the fuck that woman is yeah down the thing and it’s if you die from the sack guy uh-huh but where did I come from oh it’s I know where it is okay but I have to go down here can you refer to me as the sack guy from now when there’s that guy yeah I mean that guy’s clearly the sack guy yeah and just sneak on my just take little tweedle-dee down here yeah Oh scurrying my blade bitch for a fucking grotesque amalgam of skulls and tentacles it’s kind of cute yes he’s a little he’s a little adorable whoa whoa okay sure that’s fine I yeah something’s fast oh no oh my god geez oh my god Jesus get out of there I’m out that was fucked up and I mean that’s that’s how it’s designed to be oh yeah like you’re designed to look around the corner and it fucking slices your throat god damn blood-borne yeah the fuck is your deal it’ll mess with you oh it does not open from the side does it okay oh okay these things are brutal now we’re good now I know what’s going on okay I’ve been here before I mean you know something might pop up and scare me oh sure it’s fine it happens all the time oh yes that’s just the blood-borne game we play dude yeah it’s pretty sweet you got to think about the got to think about the children it worked hard to make this game what about oh this is this is a sweatshop game you know that yeah yeah man sweatshop the whole game time out then Oh council meeting didn’t mean to interrupt sorry I broke your pots like just smash them all up ah okay I’m out see ya goodbye oh boy see you later maybe they didn’t maybe they’re friendly where is this going geez whoa whoa whoa are you kidding me what that’s a boss where right it see that pile of that pile of smush yeah can you beat it uh good question oh try give it a shot all right wow that’s crazy that I can get this far yeah all right I’m actually gonna oh god it’s moving I don’t like the way it moves it’s a bog creature it’s like a wolf something or other oh oh yeah I see it now oh yeah okay we’re off to a bad start it’s a parl parl ah oh yeah oh yeah maybe yeah later we’re in the forbidden woods now I believe yes forbidden fruit grows here forbidden for what do you remember that Batman master wine you know what that fruit is that’s right that’s actually what um beast says in Beauty and the Beast really yeah he’s like he’s like do not go to the East Wing or West Wing or whatever and she’s like what’s in the West Wing and he’s like the president is that is that um is that where it was all like fucked up and dark and scratched well that’s where the roses right I don’t remember Beauty and the Beast too well I only remember the restaurant that we ate it and at Disney well he has like a he was like a really vain prince mm-hmm and yeah a beggar came to his door right and she was like can I have can you spare a 20 and he’s like suck a hot dick old lady like how about not it’s such a classic tale and then she’s like well fuck you cuz I’m actually a witch and it’s like oh god it’s like I cast a curse on you before I was just so such a douche yeah if you were a witch you could have just fucking gotten that shit yourself man and then he turned her or she turned him into a horrible beast and then she said okay so your your powers or rather you’re like good looks are locked in this rose right right and the rose is gonna wilt after a certain amount of time and when the rose wilts you’ll be a beast forever if you can if you can get somebody to fall in love with you right for the rose wilts even in your horrible beast form and it’s got to be like pure love right you can’t just bang a hooker yeah okay I don’t know if Disney like clearly establish those rules but I would assume it’s for your love you can’t just go getting any skanky if you don’t get a pee in that V before this rose wilts so that that would be like the ultimate proof that like he’s reformed and changed his way got it if somebody could love him even though he’s hideous so that’s the story Wow yeah and then he was just like well fuck it and then just closed himself off in the world right but true love found him right beauty where does she come from Bell she’s just kind of this quirky Zoey de Chanel character right from town she’s like I love indie music and hairy dude yeah pretty much just like a fucking Oregonian hipster exactly what she is because there’s this guy fucking Gaston in the in the village right he’s all like handsome captain hands but he’s kind of a dick you know he’s basically what the prince used to be a representation of that and she’s like I don’t want that yeah and so it really shows the beast has changed his ways by learning the true values of kindness and friendship and whatever the well nothing will make you a good person like being fucking ugly yeah believe me I know I went through an awkward phase between the ages of 13 and 27 yo I’m right there with you bro I’m right there with you it is it is an amazing feeling when you like find your look you know what you know what I mean oh for sure like when you’re suddenly like oh my god now the outside matches the inside well just just in terms of like style too yeah it’s like when I feel like when you’re younger you’re like you want to be a bunch of different things right so you try it’s like oh this is my flannel stage oh this is my like sort of gothy stage this is my like you know a preppy stage and like totally and you never know which one actually looks good yeah always just kind of see yourself you have like a headcanon about yourself right it’s weirdly like finding your voice and like comedy or writing or art or anything like when you start your shit is a carbon copy of like all the things you like yeah you know and then gradually you you blend it into something unique my style I found out is um black t-shirts and jeans yeah yeah my style is old nasty t-shirt and rapidly disintegrating pants I need to get you a new jacket by the way what’s wrong with this terrible one well I want to get you because you wear like all kinds of weird colors and t-shirts like I never wear just like a black t-shirt it’s always like green or blue or something right so I want to get you like a set of jackets that would match those colors yeah that’d be a great idea I am HR no I mean that is the worst thing to fall into they’re actually pretty easy to fight she’s oh is it go right ahead oh god oh god no we’re cool we used to hang out on Sunday you had a guest on moment we got a little distance would it help if you like tightened up the range on your sword no it’s better to be long distance are these the same creature now one in the distance looks more yeah those are both it’s just the lighting okay I think he they’re guarding a pretty good item oh they are gross it’s all one thing or is it like a bunch of twisty things mashed together it’s like one well maybe it’s like a bunch of snakes yeah just having a crazy fuck that’s gonna like break up right okay okay okay it’s not gonna be like what’s a famous and open up guns and roses really I mean they don’t like the guns and roses we knew with slash and Duff it’s just well it’s just axle rose in a band of people you don’t know really yeah even buckethead buckethead joined guns and roses for a little while and then he was like fuck it really yeah he became fucking head that’s interesting yeah well axle rose is a tough guy to get along with apparently he he a pet like he dissolved guns and roses and then like offer a contract to slash like join my band called guns and roses but like I’ll own everything and like you’ll be a hired employee and I’ll be your boss slash was like go suck a thousand dicks jackass huh and that was that that was and go thing it always is more like I got to work on Chinese democracy for the next 18 years by the way when it comes out no one will like it I needed the standing of the company to yeah bad news we said Chinese democracy I was like I was like haha that’s a joke but I guess that was an album yeah it is a joke too it’s not super terrible but like it’s it’s like it’s no sweet child of mine it just listen it just sounds like axle Rose listen to a lot of Nine Inch Nails and was like I’d like to do that instead and then took a long ass time to put it out it’s always a bummer too because it seems like as those kind of dudes would get older they’d get better right I felt that way I had the first experience with Billy Idol yes like I had I had like a Billy Idol phase and I was like oh man he’s awesome and like I love Steve Stevens and like I listen to his solo stuff and then Billy Idol like recently came out well wasn’t recently it was like seven years ago right but he came out with a new album and I was like whoa Billy Idol album awesome it was not good yeah it’s been quite a while even his 1991 offering cyberpunk that came with a free three by five floppy disk what oh yeah like a blank floppy disk no no it had some kind of thing you could play on your computer but it was like the very early version of like when CDs would have like enhanced CDs that you could put in a disk drive and sure yeah it was like the first one of that but man who technology was not quite there yet but I still remember getting it and I was like what is this looks like fucking King’s Quest 4 came with you’re like oh hello little piggy little pig who’s the cutest little pig oh man we went to the Ren Faire this past weekend oh jeez and happened at that Ren Faire damn they had they had a petting zoo there was a big old fatty fat pig just like that yeah so adorable god these things are hard as shit yeah quickly while his ass is exposed yeah they’re really strong but they’re kind of like can’t take the hits right they can’t take the hits better play welcome to the jungle yeah Shannon oh I can’t I could never do it Shannon I can never do it that’s the one we’re gonna bring you down never understood I never understood how somebody could go on stage for a while what sing like that yeah like that right now I’m like ow I mean too that’s his natural voice yeah that’s that’s just how he’s saying that’s also why he can’t sing anymore oh like it’s I don’t know if you’ve heard him sing recently like if you had the right vocal coach you could fucking yes well there is apparently like Dave Grohl goes to like this famous vocal coach that teaches like all the scream singers how to do it correctly yeah cuz it’s if you try to manipulate the scream through your throat yeah you’ll be done in like ten minutes but like if if you start if it comes from the diaphragm and then just like you do a certain thing with your throat so it turns into a scream as it passes through your vocal cords well then it doesn’t do any damage or it doesn’t do much damage I mean fucking it’s insane I could never sing like that you want to do this this situation right here open this door because this is important if you die okay if you if you die and this is open then you can just run straight to the boss but if if not then you got to deal with that fucking pig situation oh that’s not fun yeah screw that clockwise metamorphosis that dude just die in child’s pose Oh like like a yoga yeah like the yoga position it looks just like that except you’re alive I’ll check it out after I’m done dealing with this demon snake man no problem so so you’re just gonna roll with this weapon the entire game huh yeah yeah it’s fine it’s fine there’s uh there’s another weapon actually mark was telling me about it called the like the cleaver spear or something mm-hmm where it’s like it’s it’s like this a cleaver mm-hmm but when you change it to this mode it’s a spear oh so that seems pretty cool that does seem cool I thought maybe like later in the game you run across a new weapon that’s so badass like you’re like oh I have to use this oh the tonic truss is pretty good I think I actually equipped that didn’t I I don’t know I don’t even know what I did not let me put the tonic truss yes this thing right oh that’s a smasher yeah so it’s just like whatever it’s just normal but it’s all mode mm-hmm do that yeah oh dude I another thing at the Ren Faire they had like weapons there yeah you know what a flanged maces it sounds like it would kill you instantly it is so brutal looking it’s it’s like it’s like something like this it’s like a club mace but you may have seen it before it’s got sort of four it’s got kind of a diamond formation and four like ridges that come out like sort of like a plus sign if you were to look at it from the top yeah but at the top also comes to a point it is a terrible way to go I think I was just looking at my my god people used to crack dudes over the head with this is there is there a nice way to go yeah sure yeah I mean not for the other person but like if you were like having crazy love making and you just clocked out that’d be pretty sweet it’s gonna be a huge bummer for the person who’d like is still around and like well you might as well finish oh yeah do that does the electric do like extra I say but I mean like after you hit a guy with it like does it keep doing damage for a bit no oh yeah sick item bro friends eat cold blood hmm this is a flanged mace oh that yeah brutal isn’t it is Christ Kevin put up a picture I’m not gonna bother sending it to you just fucking find it on do a little god damn you don’t make snake man yeah for a mega man three Wow oh boy there really is that like one King head like my rule the other heads right don’t I may know the king head is like the tiny snake yeah oh wait actually could you do that in a crying voice oh I run things behind the scenes oh my god I forgot how to do it so he sort of burped at the end yes larger snake please I will run things behind this cracks me up every time just haven’t heard crying in a while yeah it’s it’s it’s almost like a barfy vomiting kind of like a burp don’t want to wake these guys up there’s like three of them over there are three of what the snake thing yeah the dudes with the snake heads how do you even see that shit I just know yeah believe me I’ve played this level of zillion time yeah you’ve been clocking in a lot of blood-borne time you’ve been playing this in your free time too right yeah well it’s it’s I haven’t beaten it yet like man I don’t like okay I get it you know I totally get it if you really like a game and you just fucking play it like a non-stop like I totally get that sure but I don’t know I just feel like having the having the discipline having the discipline to be like all right you know what this is enough like I’m gonna soak it all in and like come back to it later yes cuz I still haven’t beaten it you know and it’s been a long time and I’m sure plenty of people have beaten it by now but I love that I haven’t beaten it because I still have more blood-borne to look forward to you know yeah yeah I I have games like that for sure they’re just like the savor the experience I guess can I this is a nice thing to say actually being on Game Grumps has actually gotten me back into video games oh yeah you’d think it like it would almost kill your love for video games because suddenly it’s your job and you have to do it for hours and hours and hours and playing games on your own is certainly like different than playing them on the show yeah you know and you don’t always have the energy to do it but like I am very excited about like what new games are coming out and shit like that and that was never the case for years and years yeah I was just like I’m psyched to get an emulator and play the shit I played as a kid you know but uh you mean the legit copies of the game yeah that’s what I meant like actually just like followed by three minutes of silent gameplay god it would be awesome if we had like the world’s most awkward silence oh my god that was so good we actually we actually did that oh man I need to tell you about this story please do when John and I were doing the show we we we accidentally uploaded an episode of New Super Mario Brothers uh-huh and wait like Super Mario Wii yeah yeah yeah and we it was the first time that we had done like in like a like a text joke or something okay you know like we added visuals to the episode sure but it was also we accidentally uploaded it with no sound so literally like the episode opened up and it just said this game is really great in text and then like no and people were like what the hell is going what the fuck kind of like artsy bullshit is this that’s funny did you take it down and re-upload it yeah I wish you just kept it up forever it’s just like a hilarious coincidence yeah I like that we don’t take down our episodes that have horrible reviews yeah oh yeah you like course there’s got to be like at least like three or four of them that have like no lot of gray for whatever like various reasons yeah of course but you know it’s a history so yeah yeah our history we can’t shy away from that stuff let’s see strength hell yeah all strength wait let’s go endurance you said you know how to give your little dudes top hats now oh yeah no but this is the perfect time yeah this is the place I think it’s over here hello all right I’m so lonely for company yes I guess it’s down here you just hear him like talking as you walk away like oh a friendly face it’s such nice then you walk back in my old age there’s not much pleasure you are back to say 42 and many of the people that we were talking about give accessories to messengers yay give him a bandage oh they’re going for a synchronized swim we love it one two stump messenger yeah unadorned what’s that old joke like if one synchronized swimmer drowns do the rest have to drown too oh man I love it yeah I never knew about this little secret passage way somebody told me that no shit an email I’m sorry I don’t what’s back here it was just that oh okay you can give them a thing I love it where the fuck was I was in the Forbidden Forest nope not that one yeah ooh that’s a bunch of shadows yep oh yeah harnam oh man if I saw those three walking towards me I would freak the fuck out yeah well whoo how do you think I feel so okay like ring rates oh they’re the worst they just fucking suck so this guy’s always like right on your ass this other guy has this like fire ability that will like kill you instantly oh yeah you got to take him out first and then this projectile guy is just annoying so thing is like you want to focus on them but if you take too long then they’ll like mutate real get stronger and have like stronger abilities that’s not good yeah so it’s like it’s all about speed but also about like not dying yeah as it as it always is oh damn what are these things just is there like some kind of like I don’t know internet guide or manual that explains like the history of like what these creatures are sure whoa oh is that I’d be very interested to oh your corner fuck oh I’d be super interested to know like where these guys came from they’re super interesting looking oh okay well you got him oh goodness they are stronger they are much stronger okay well at least there’s only two of them yeah but now he’s has a flaming sword then this dude is captain stay away please stay away oh god yeah they seem to be taking the death of their twin brother very well yeah I’m sure they’re fine fuck off they mutate a third time after they really yeah I guess the idea is to try to kill one before each mutation yeah that’s probably a good idea I’m sure yeah that fire will like an easier fucking said than done that fire will decimate you got it he really has a long reach with it too whoa okay all right watch out noodle arm this is like endearing cute nicknames for these guys all right sneaky face oh hello mr.

fire butt oh geez what are what are the messengers coming up with like little tombstones yeah that’s where somebody died and there’s a lot of them yeah they sure are oh move it’s so aware really hurt you’re really hurt okay everything’s cool god damn god damn oh it’s like a hook whip and no no no oh my god so in turn ah oh not the fire ah I was hoping you could hurt his brother jeez you think like the fire would hurt him what with his cloak and all oh dude you just did a ton of damage I won’t do that fucking move bullshit doing good be sure to get cocky maybe come on I want to show you what it’s like to dance hmm daddy needs a new pair of you being dead immediately yeah now this guy’s gonna be super duper hard really yeah whoa he’s it’s quite fast hasn’t done that mutation yet no he hasn’t thank God oh he’s got the same fucking weapon just flamey oh here we go oh oh no yeah oh no no stop it please no so close jeez man no no oh damn it I fucking got him but I didn’t get him I didn’t get him whoa and snake bullshit ah that’s bullshit so mean ah Arin my butt is like clenched like whoa I only have two more fucking vials really just go for him then oh yeah no don’t stop no yes no please oh he’s so twisty no no no no no yeah yeah fuck you fuck you oh god no freeze him oh boy yeah fuck you brace slaughter oh god piece of shit welcome to this fucking guy scared the shit out of me the first time yeah look at that thing yeah it looks like the things that used to fucking crawl up the side of my wall when I lived in Brooklyn all right so this motherfucker is gonna get just full of ass ah so like that’s like the worst John Wayne cowboy movie a fist full of ass whoa whoa whoa actually really easy to fight you just have to know how I know another guy come from fuck he drops down from over here golly gosh oh nice yeah I was some Bruce Lee shit yo yo why is that guy red yeah even out of the waters it’s a it’s a guy how he died I accidentally deactivated this specter over here Oh interesting and saw how that man died that’s nice sir do you have a moment to talk about Jesus you just want to stay on his butt yeah it’s it’s gross it’s the first time I saw it I was like all right this is all right first time I was just like like no no no no no no no no yeah and then he like shoots fucking giant fireballs at you and you’re like no no no no no no what does it have up at the top like where you’d think its face would be just like a floaty flower it’s so weird like sparkly who designs this shit who’s got this shit who like has a blank canvas in their head and then that pops in fucking talk to somebody a genius yeah a fucking artistic genius mmm and I would hire him if I made a blood-borne styled game which I won’t busy cuz I’m not that creative oh yes I said don’t tell yourself okay I said no oh finally some fucking sedatives okay that’ll help with the fly guys yeah it’ll help with the the frenzy if you get frenzied it’s like poison okay but once you’re once you get like frenzy then there’s a certain amount of time that the frenzy will still keep going up mm-hmm and if it reaches max then you immediately lose like 80% of your health no way now you’re dead fuck you I’m gonna go fight this hunter great job this motherfucker is gonna die they’re up the stairs I didn’t have trouble with them the first time I fought him but that means I’m probably gonna have trouble with them now who’s that the hunter yeah there’s a hunter of the stairs oh did you save your game yeah it always saves oh cool well then don’t I feel a fool these are where all people died yes okay we’re off to bed sir oh god oh that’s it for me wait wait no that’s it for me oh my god was that you exploding uh sure yep just saw a bunch of entrails fly up into the air yeah mmm dubious liquid she got she trapped me though the last time I fought her it was downstairs so shit man can you lure her back down yeah I’m gonna do that okay okay I got some I got some decent fucking damage on the on the stairs last time I fought her nice motherfucking stay is oh no your blood echoes this this uh this wench is going to mm-hmm come on down here baby come on down here come on down yeah everybody loves it downstairs it’s the coolest come on down here come on wench come on now he sees you oh damn whoa oh golly come on down here what come on now it’s fucking badass like stair fight yeah it’s pretty cool right but then she’s so cinematic can you use her use her magic on me yeah women will do that wasn’t planning on follow God oh that’s what the things were yeah it was there’s snakey magic wow she’s a lot stronger than I remember she might be resistant to lightning oh god oh no my tonic wrists it’s at risk let me change it oh god no I don’t want that huh quit it yeah she’s strong against the lightning yeah why was your tonic wrist at risk because I’ve been using it and I’ve repaired it in a long time oh no shit your weapons just break down yeah ah I never knew that even like this main one yeah it’s got pretty good um who repairs as a doll there’s a table in Hunter’s dream okay I’ve been doing it I just I never looking now yeah just haven’t been paying attention you got this bitch yeah nice we did oh you dead girl oh you so damn you super dead thanks for the thanks for the fucking shitty shit that I have okay thanks three dollars awesome so you can’t buy a movie ticket Jesus let alone a pop of corn hmm wait so there’s a second one yeah second hunter no that’s it oh nice yeah great job thank you I tried a whole lot I had tried it proud of you can’t it work and now I’m okay proud of you okay so now oh I already did everything in fucking yard rule so I’m good nice I’m just talking to myself it’s okay I mean I’m not here let’s not do a show together or anything few notes he waits ahead oh thank you such a nice note so now I’m at the point where I’m going to turn the regular moon into a blood moon this is not a world that appreciates brains and book smarts I have to say actually when I’m making a statement yeah that shit went out of the window long after the apocalypse came oh you want to be a reader huh cool good luck with that good luck throwing books at the snakehead zombies yeah it’s gonna be real effective yeah are you gonna do read them today yeah it’s just gonna say like when a fucking when that fucking vomiting caterpillar monster comes at you I’m sure sure you’d like it if you read a passage from Tolstoy’s war and peace really make him contemplate his life decisions and being a fire-breathing a worm monster like wow now I really understand the duality of man whoa oh geez okay I was open up the thing yeah I’m back on my feet hey whoa oh that was awesome like I’ll follow you down bitch I um I did not leave off on the last episode here well because Dan was doing a bunch of shit on his phone like an asshole mm-hmm just leaving me to have fun and play video games go on so I I was just running around and doing a bunch of shit I also just wanted to just for the hardcores who are watching this and are probably not impressed at all with what I’m doing oh sure I have been fortifying and blood gem stuff off-camera so here are here are my stats hmm yeah pretty good huh I guess I don’t know he also did to the toniches yeah you know you know who also might not be impressed with you hardcore counters because I’m looking at our episode sheet and it’s a one two three five six great job man well I get confused yes like man we got got a new timer and like now that’s off my mind and I guess I just forgot how to count because like we’ll start an episode yeah I don’t know I instinctually just like write next episode in the next start time like right away right just so I can get out of the way and then you know if you’re like oh give me a sec and I’m like okay and I have to cross it out but then like there’s already something there so my brains like oh that’s an episode yeah that counts I’m sure if we put that up people will appreciate it yeah hey here’s ten seconds of a menu screen and game grumps and going hold on let me answer this email with with voice with my voice thing did you know hello would you be okay if I know not okay okay if I came over tomorrow question mark what is oh this is me talking to my phone dictation thing I mean my friends make fun of me all the time because this phone is much better than the last one I had but I used to have to like really use good diction on like T sounds and stuff because it didn’t pick it up very well so if I’d say the number eight it just didn’t know what I was trying to say I would be like a or some shit like that so if there was a phone number that had a lot of eights in it I’d be like six seven eight eight eight and they’re just like you sound like an idiot is that where you got hot wet sweet no that was just an enjoyable hello old king special item weights ahead wait is that friendly who awakens me from my fat slumber okay yeah talk to him talk some more I feel like we’re gonna get some good info out of this guy special item weights ahead oh if I kill him really yeah I mean I would assume it’s right in front of him are you putting him out of his misery well now he’s dead cool cool yeah I got a thing great job special item weights ahead thanks note that’s a strange whoa oh I say that’s someone was shining a spotlight on the ho really is this what you’re supposed to do oh yeah what yeah where are you the cosmos here I am uh did you go under the water I’m in like a different world or something now whoa yeah and this is um what’s his name something spider he’s cute I like him but he’s also very dangerous yeah I’m sure here we go I love running on water like this it’s like that oh spider oh my god his name’s wrong hey Rom it’s short for Ronald oh god oh my god okay they’re way grosser than him yeah they’re tough they’ll stick around like really yeah so you like half kill him because they’ll just summon more you get right up on his grill yikes oh and they’ll just overwhelm you at some point it’s will he keep summoning more if you’re not near him no okay cool so you just sort of have to it’s like a little wave yeah oh I forgot they have like masks on why you have to get them from the side oh man this this game I feel like this game has more like new enemies than any game I’ve seen in a while yeah you know fuck oh man back you a spider and fucking bullshit man it sucks though cuz now like when you enter he immediately sees you oh really get like a couple pot shots on him oh wow yeah yeah he does you again like some more spiders my babies I am a vacuo spider I love being vacuo that means I’m full of holes right no goodness and I am full of holes so is this plot so is the plots to transform us to delicious doesn’t even need that much of a plot and it’s got holes in it Wow really damn dude that was one hit you are getting just ass-blasted I was gonna say ass plowed but like you know we’re basically the same place on the same page on the same plane of pages yeah pungent blood cocktail and the former is the more intoxicating what speaking of love I’m losing vision in my left eye I’m losing my mind watching you play this I think I’m having a stroke damn are you really no I just got like gunk in my left eye yes now I gotta did you ever watch that inspector gadget that was like the one where he has a stroke the a very special episode of inspector gadget the finale actually my god penny and brain are like whoa it was his finale have you seen like they wanted to make like a 3d go go gadget did make a 3d animated inspector gadget did they really yeah and like penny was like grown up and shit whoa weird it is weird yeah I like it I like penny is the kind of a little girl definitely but she’s just more interesting that way but like fucking left a brain like oh is the actual get out of the show Oh always you you’re badly hurt yeah you want to keep your distance dude because when you get surrounded by them they use their dive bomb attacks on you oh man have any yeah I had zero great there they are oh I don’t get echoes from these guys haha to me yeah me on you me well I bet I learned my lesson yeah wow there you go there you go that’s what you got to do just bait them into doing their head in the sand routine at in the sand yeah I don’t know what their their ostrich dance that really is a fucking cruel punishment for dying once on this guy but you have to go through a whole wave of these things just to like get to him once yeah it doesn’t really do that much damage either when you actually get them well do it my baby mmm my baby I like his tiny little eyes he’s like oh yeah he does have a face yeah always always oh no don’t don’t hit it don’t cramp don’t scramble don’t crumble scramble me wow you got half of his life gone though where is he yeah but now he’s gonna start like doing uh all kinds of crazy shit yeah he’s gonna start attacking me because he was just kind of like sitting back right he’s gonna smash chest whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa is he just gonna do that endlessly yeah no ha ha damn these bosses yeah these bosses don’t that Boston damn damn damn boss time to run yeah oh geez it’s basically gonna be like be like take out one spider and start tucking and rolling come on man and that’s super effective it’s killing me yeah yeah time to go and my baby my baby watch your back oh there is there’s one behind you there’s sickle hands oh here comes the blue blue golly wait and the tonicers is cool I wasn’t using it earlier well you you loved your saw sword I love oh man they barf too I didn’t know that everything barfs in this game yeah I mean when you got to settle with the food that I’m sure is available exactly this world isn’t exactly rolling with a delicious buffet yeah oh wow oh man they just Nick you with that in a hurry I like this like walking on the water thing yes pretty red it reminds me of ever seen the it’s magic video by the cars the oh it’s magic great song haven’t okay it’s from the early 80s probably looks really dated now but oh god you are not cute up close you did a lot of damage I don’t know maybe one or two combos yeah but in the early 80s like I guess they had like plastic like clear plastic whatever cubes in a pool and he’s walking on the pool is it like other people are swimming around on it oh cool yeah it probably looks pretty dated now but like at the time it was like whoa I remember the early virtual Insanity music video oh yeah that’s still cool to this day that was a great video totally unlike any anything else going on musically in the late 90s too oh yeah dude there they’re my favorite man yeah jamiroquai yeah yeah whoa hey holy shit damn god oh all right we’re gonna have to beat this guy off camera or like get close to beating him off camera so I did a lot of bit of leveling mmm and now I’m pretty confident that I can beat him and oh I also got this little nice little contraption here that is the cannon oh maybe you notice my new wrist watch yeah this is the Apple watch yeah very subtle pretty nice yeah yeah all right here we go I’m gonna rock this player I believe in you Arin thanks man it’s dude because okay so just to test to see if I was powerful enough I like full disclosure I like fought him and then I got him down to like one last hit which I could easily made right but I but I died on purpose so that we could do it on the show nice I’m starting to think like maybe I won’t be able to replicate oh my god it’ll just be as hard as it was before wouldn’t that be the most hilarious of times oh no he’s backing away I mean I watched Arin do that we try to fight this boss upwards of 30 times right had to be yeah we watched many videos from the 80s lots of lots of stuff from the cars great band oh yeah that was hours ago a lot of stuff I didn’t know about bands and songs yeah we watched the it’s magic video and then we watched the you might think video which was a really really awesome and new in the 80s new looking I’m sure it looks super dated now but like god I just remember them playing that so much on TV as a kid I loved it because it was weird and cool and that’s what we are yeah we’re weird and cool yo at least halfway true well leave it at we’re only cool yeah we’ll leave it up to you to decide the viewer oh shit leave your comments down below a poll yeah are we weird are we cool just right weird or cool yeah that’ll be an interesting comment section it’ll be like what the fuck is going on when did we turn into Mitch Hedberg people will be like it will be an interesting comment section oh that’s a lot of spiders that is a fucking army of spiders right there okay yeah definitely not the fucking happy jaunt through the park the last time I played this I feel like a lot of its arbitrary you know like which way the spider moves which way like the angles work out well you can force them away you know like yeah but now the spiders are they’re all coming yeah they’re they’re all around that is a circle bad situation oh golly well on oh yeah yeah fuck you wrong do it do it oh did you get him oh oh god yeah no damn it hold on hold on I might be able to cheat it okay it’s okay go hit him one time go hit him one time look it’s he’s by himself no but oh shit he’s gonna do the thing ha let’s go in there and wail on him one time don’t so many by dues that spiders oh god yeah got him got you got him got him yeah no but I died I got the item though yeah oh so he’s still dead I guess okay you go are you got the trophy oh boy I sure do hope so soon is red oh my fucking god it’s red than I did it I swear to God I will kick myself in the head you just told me to go for it I was gonna be all careful and throw shit at oh man oh goodness me I’ll see what happens moon red moon I was behind the temple castle or whatever I’m nervous me too but can I get my soul bet oh it looks like a normal moon to me okay you have I only have two blood vials too well then this is me pretty if I just go there yeah it’s not the fog isn’t here anymore oh let me see what I can do about this okay cuz if he’s still there that blood vial thing might be an issue oh yeah yeah oh thank you mercy sup ooh who are you pretty lady I think she’s the um she’s the lady of yarn oh that’s a red moon yeah that’s the Sun pretty much that is a super super long lens photography it’s coming right for us can you tell what’s different um is it that thing yes there’s definitely that thing yes it’s alive what is it so those are do you remember do you remember the top hat guy the dead guy that I got the top hat from yes like like a glowy ball of energy shows up way early right it kills me instantly yeah that’s that guy he was invisible the whole time that’s the thing that came through the portal so the portal is just him like grabbing you right so yeah that thing was wearing the top hat no what I bet that top hat looked silly on him wait wait wait let me get this straight he just like he’s a top hat me yeah he just daintily takes two tendrils and places the tiny top hat in the center of his giant octopus head all right so I’m gonna fight this motherfucker oh yeah I’ll redo what he says so you could concentrate ah well he’s not saying anything anymore hmm dang it no baby me whoof he’s fast wow he’s very strong yeah how did you fucking beat him early on well that’s ready glitched out I exploited him that’s right should have killed him on the stairs I agree I really agree yeah but you didn’t want to kill him well he gave you some stuff didn’t he give you some cool clothing they give you stuff to kill him too oh that’s an excellent point but you learned a valuable lesson in friendship that I can’t put a number of clothing on that three pairs of pants actually man very resilient yeah ow ow ow ow makes hunters mad yeah it’s really hard I wish this fucking lamp would work for fuck’s sake yeah all right I’ll try again the hunt makes hunters mad I wonder if that’s just saying like that whoa that he’s gone crazy because he’s doing this is that possible yeah maybe he does have the um you know the that like nose he’s got yes it was like a it’s like a doctor’s mask oh that’s right I remember you telling me that in Shovel Knight oh yeah it reminds me of oh yeah well because it was it was really stood out to me because I had always seen them and I always thought they were fascinating looking yeah like distance the doctor from the diseases yeah shit what did it remind me of it reminded me of like the Depeche Mode video walking in my shoes but like it reminded me of something else too was it in Beetlejuice when the guy stretches oh yeah we did talk about that didn’t we god that movie was scary as a kid and not at all scary as an oh yeah hilarious as an adult it’s really funny and one of Tim Burton’s best my mom used to laugh all the time at the very end where his head shrinks to the size of a golf ball and he’s like hey it could be a good look for me hey he’s the best Michael Keaton I love how they made like a children’s cartoon out of him yeah even though he’s like an evil lecture that yeah that children’s cartoon is like all puns too oh it was it was nothing but puns yeah it’s funny I remember the oh geez geez this guy and you need to kill him huh I don’t need to I don’t need to kill any of these whoa whoa whoa hey oh maybe so they like get out of your way but right yeah he might need that lamp or something damn it Wow Jesus he’s hard this is like the heart and I’m like power leveled too yeah fuck man shit adornment prized by the Knights of Cainhurst my good old Cainhurst Michael Cainhurst I wish there was a fucking lantern closer use the throwing knife Batman right right right I don’t like throwing knobs in your utility bank you’ve got to throw those very nice lose the hunter pistol what was that not I’m just pissed off what was that outfit I’m just bitter Batman oh you’ve not listening just on dice best job I’m listening to send you a bit older thank you oh I understand that’s what you said that’s right master that’s right master that’s right bastard man a best man that’s right fast man Batman your best man will you be the best man at my wedding oh man it was so funny like if it just this is not a statement on you because you wore a top hat at your wedding I think it’s hilarious and cool but I was listening to this comedian who’s obviously just a very bitter guy and he was like you know what fuck your wedding be people are like oh my god you’re getting married I’m so glad you invited me to the wedding they’re not it’s a burden it’s just going crazy and he’s like I can’t stand it and fucking the guy will just be wearing a top hat like oh hello I’m the mayor of romance so funny I wish I could remember what comedian it was I honestly hate those pictures do you really yeah like looking back I’m like why I think it was great silly oh it’s but marriage is such a serious thing like god oh might as well be silly in fact maybe it’s time to get silly over here you know what fuck it I’m not gonna fight this guy yeah I don’t think it’s not necessary Jesus Christ man you’re not right eat that why is he so fucking hard why do they put him at the beginning he’s not at the beginning that oh really yeah it’s like completely optional I just wandered in here because it was the nearest no but I mean like oh yeah when you ran into this hard at the beginning oh okay he was he was like like I could have beat him if I was like really good but when I fought him it was the first time I’d ever played this game so I was like completely inept Wow all right on to a new mission yeah I’m gonna I’m gonna go enter that world and say hi to my my squiddy friend yeah Oh Hieronymus Bosch that’s what that fucking thing looks like you know that painting that really crazy painting like it’s three quadrants it’s like heaven earth and hell you’d know it if you saw it it’s a it’s a bananas painting um no I don’t hold on I’ll bring it up right now I look that’s like the best thing you could say out of nowhere because we’ve been off that topic for like at least four minutes maybe like six oh yeah and then you’re just like Oh Hieronymus Bosch what are you talking about the Garden of Earthly Delights that’s the I don’t think I’ve ever seen that oh you have stop with your nonsense hold on oh schmig dubitus belubitus I’m sorry excuse me I don’t recall ever having this conversation this painting is craziness schmidoobie spelubie oh yeah okay okay yeah now I remember do be you’ve never seen this one oh oh hey oh hey oh okay wait in a despicable fatty hey sorry I’ve never seen that painting really yeah Wow it’s a nuts painting that’s crazy it’s um I mean clearly this dude had some issues but it’s like heaven earth and hell and like earth is just like crazy fucking and all sorts of weird like sinning and all that shit then there’s hell which is just insanity and like there’s there’s a like a crow kind of dude that’s eating a guy so that’s that’s what made me think of the crow hunter and then there’s heaven which has like three people like so we know what a Hieronymus thought of humanity there Hieronymus what Bosch oh yeah so uh crazy painter this is party town over here hello hello I’m the party DJ there’s a as you can see mm-hmm oh wow yeah whoa those things have been there the whole time yeah why don’t they attack they do oh like I said that that like portal that was like oh yeah that was one of those dudes trying to grab at me holy crap but they just won’t grab at you like under normal circumstances here I’ll show you okay show me and that’ll be the last thing we’ll do cuz I got chicken nuggets coming here delivery style and I ain’t got time for the creek fucking hellions so excited so excited for your chicken nugs bro I’m pumped for those nugs so many fucking nugs bro I think we just figured out the new ninja sex party album title for those nugs pumped for nugs I like it I love it I want it yeah actually attitude city wasn’t supposed to be the original name yeah I was actually there when you were like maybe we should make it be home title yeah we were originally gonna call it new holes and like would like have the picture be like Brian and I and astronaut costumes over the moon whoa oh let me see that shit again like stand where he tries to grab you oh that’s crazy Wow that shit is awesome so that’s that’s what that was was one of those things trying to fucking grab at you Wow no wonder it I see him I wonder it really does its job yeah when it fucking catches you huh and you just die automatically oh yeah well it shows you like hovering in midair right and you get like like a little glimpse of like something grabbing you right and you’re like what is that and that’s what that’s fucking bananas we who who dies in hunter’s dream that’s exactly what I was gonna say shit I think because everybody’s falling down look at them they’re fighting oh yeah they’re fighting somebody maybe and then they just die maybe this place gets overrun at some point yeah and there’s a lot of deaths too so yeah probably intentional that would be a fucked up twist if like this turns out to be like the platform for the final battle oh my god I would die oh my god this is a new playthrough and just I remembered the fucking spider guy oh what a friggin nightmare no vom or whatever is wrong yeah Ron’s my friend don’t make fun of him god he was the goddamn word don’t make fun of him excuse me oh thank you not to say anything about him he’s very sensitive about his skin it’s vacuos it’s gelatinous oh yeah he is full of holes wow I’m gonna get you oh damn it boy I gotta tell you this whole bound to a wheelchair shooting a musket thing it’s really feast or famine as far as me killing you if I miss with that first shot it is all downhill oh man I got a yard goal helm you like that shit which one there I got a yard goal helm what is it can you just change it’s a helmet do you have to do you have to go to Hunter’s dream to change clothes like that on right now oh my god let’s check it out put on your helm see my urn yeah it’s not that great no but and you wouldn’t be able to see your beautiful face that’s true my heterochromia the gorgeous face of eat the poo-poo excuse me miss poo-poo that’s for god that’s what we named her oh yeah it’s doc poo-poo eat that all right come here guys boy can you give me after you oh geez all at once huh oh god that thing fucking looming in the distance is the worst who after you kill these guys let’s get one more look at that oh well I have to hurry okay they’ll come back to life oh shit oh that’s right nothing stays dead here well why not just run because they’ll follow me damn fuck what a catch 42 catch 42 yeah it’s 20 times worse way more 20-plus words yeah I know right all right I’ll try your strategy how about that here’s the thing okay you may have been this sounds kind of low but you may have been noticing Bell she is why they come back this woman yeah she’s ringing her bell now they won’t come back oh nice stunned for a second great job die yes thank you well I mean like this game is full of important life lessons and and a good one is if the people you’re murdering keep returning from the dead you probably want to murder someone nearby because they might be puppet mastering them together right they’re ringing the bell god man whole operation where would we be without video games I wouldn’t even know how to put my shoes on in the morning understand what boy he had these very least yeah but barely you want to talk about Call of Duty that game taught me tons of shit about like that Call of Duty is not a very good game okay for instance is it not I’ve never played it it’s just kind of whatever I’m sure some people like adore it oh sure it’s very popular it’s gotta be I just don’t like it I just don’t much care for it you know I just want to feel the thirst of real combat Arin yeah I don’t actually I don’t need no virtual combat the only combat I engage in is when my fucking like the little wrapping around the pop-tarts won’t open and I have to go to war with it I declare what you have like give like a whole system like god damn it that the initial attack and then like oh yeah yeah I go over battle plans with myself and a pair of scissors all right I’m calling you in you’re the reinforcements that sounds very interesting thank you glad I brought it up yeah you’re welcome boy it’s confusing with fucking dead people and online folks running around well he is much stronger than the others so wait the the invisible people that show ho ho up they’re just other people on your specific server yeah I think so like I’m just wondering like with all the people playing this online how are there not millions of people running around I don’t know they might have a system for that they might not I don’t know there might just third if there are servers they’re invisible okay like you just kind of get online fair enough but you can like don’t disturb her she’s praying looks more like she’s like I can’t believe you said that oh I mean unbelievable on the air on reeks of thrust attack oh I get it ha ha ha reeks of thrust attack like I can put my peepee in her oh my god oh oh god oh my god yeah that’s that’s weird that’s horrible yes she’s dead yeah she’s oh my god finally some sweet necrophilia how did it take us 30-something episodes to get to the land for the necrophilia jokes what is happening don’t we come back that’s right oh god I want to just go through that gate and leave I’m not gonna get anything for killing this guy oh golly oh no I don’t like this anymore I didn’t in the first place but now I really don’t like it does that mean there’s another bell ringer yeah she’s around somewhere we can go through here nope that does not open from the side that’s not how doors work I can come down here though okay and not disturb these a praying folk everything opens from this side if you bash it fucking hard enough not in video games bro anything said dildo if you’re brave enough Abraham Lincoln 1816 Tuesday Abraham Lincoln made a good way what huh made a good blood guide your way oh that’s what that message said what it could it mean why did I do that no I didn’t mean to that was Ted did you throw a baseball in the middle of the pebble but okay you know just so you know I’m here is there anybody following me okay cool we’re good cool yo we cool we cool do you think like those people were like just got the rock in the middle of their prayer and they’re like yeah well were those that praying people yeah dang it yeah upset at best they are peeved at worst I’m peeved I’m slightly rustled mmm my god this rustles my jimmies I was just about to say it can you rustle anything other than your own jimmies I guess your jammies jimmies yeah yeah someone else’s jammies oh god do you love it when you get your jimmies and someone else’s jammies sir sir just stay and stay in the chair I’ll be right back with some help it just sounds like a delicious cereal Jimmy jammies yeah getting your jimmies new jammies mmm delicious yeah yeah I’d pour some milk in there and let the milk turn a weird color oh she’s over here ah and there’s this dumb wheelchair guys FM right am I right oh yeah sure guys she’s like backing away slowly like I’ve got a bell oh damn whoa whoa whoa fought back to me before oh whoa oh my god I am that is a fucking barbell oh she’s got a knife in her other hand oh yeah I see that now how my fucking blood echoes man well go kill her oh right in the fucking face Jeepers point-blank come on are you serious Wow oh man oh that really Jimmy’s my Russell’s oh like our friend Russell’s like fucking thousand souls yeah what um do you from now on do you want to create a like a top it the thing where you’re like I’ve got this many souls time to make a run for it back to the back to base there’s I mean there’s there’s points where it’s like I guess yeah what the hell what the hell fucking let me pass ah oh god it’s okay you’ve got nothing to lose at this point yeah let your failure be your shield against the world ow ow ow stop please stop ow please stop ah oh now she’s pissed away away as they say oh goodness ah stop it you guys are so guys so mean so mean she’s got your blood echoes she ain’t got anything retrieved I don’t have anything anymore dude now I know bullshit it’s hard as fuck but they call it blood-borne cuz it’s hard that is I don’t understand you’ll understand when you’re older okay um how about you die and then how about you die everybody here just bites the dust whoa whoa whoa Jesus Christ man to be a little more careful what’s God fucking what is this what is this little crevice over here god damn it there’s like little fucking pile of rocks right there that I can’t blow by them yeah so Arin just cleared out that place oh he did not clear that place out no they they they’re bellwoman I don’t know where they are but they won’t follow me if I fall down here well I was super awkward like all their heads turned you I was mistaken okay me hopefully they didn’t they don’t follow me oh they did it before yeah but that’s that one came this one’s coming no god fucking ah oh good I was hoping that surround you oh it’s cool God God just a screamy witch that’s all yeah super relaxing here take this screaming witch okay see I’m good at fighting them now yeah you’re the man get it who is the man dang it damn damn right dang it uh you know what I’m gonna gosh that’s correct let’s switch out my cannon for the torch because it’s a much more helpful oh you can light them on fire well no it’s just I can see all right all right oh it don’t disturb you sleep all right all right okay nice relaxing you know huh there’s another one in here there’s two in here really yeah that’s not good but the bellwoman is in like a really easy place underneath the sleeping giant hello oh geez all right fine fucking bill I won’t tell you the story of how I went to my first baseball game for six pennies six whole pennies I say who is that a treasure chest sir do you have a moment to talk about Jesus Jesus oh I may be fucked yeah are you out of health files yeah oh gosh this is not the one I wanted to fight I’ll fight the other one so that can you make a run to hunters dream real quick I got this really yeah bro see me play this before note Arin said I’ve got this at 231 of the playthrough we’ll revisit this later yeah check this whoa oh god he’s coming at me it’s coming right for me oh my god oh geez remember I’ve got this yeah and this is how I get this right this is the process oh I think I’m out of here yeah I think so whoa okay noodle face all right large friend is he coming after me my sweet noodley friend pickable beast yeah I guess so oh look they’re talking to each other oh it’s okay what’s up Larry okay juice here no not a big deal I like to imagine they speak really slowly like because I mean they don’t do much you know like yeah so they have a lot of patience yeah like like the ants in Lord of the Rings which you need to see goddamn it it’s getting to the point where like literally every playthrough we mentioned that you’ve never saw oh boy oh boy don’t follow me please I say hunters dream is the place to go it’s so it’s very treacherous to get to though I know but more treacherous than just plowing ahead with no more vials all right I guess I’ll just run by all these witches you know up here and did D go up the wall we’re on a mission is you going faster going fast and it’s going fast Oh God go up here this is good this is what you need oh what a lovely sky it’s a pretty day is it a pretty day beautiful day in blood blood town oh crap gonna run by these that is treacherous deal excuse me excuse me excuse me excuse me excuse me yeah good job buddy oh boy come here baby yeah so whoa whoa whoa whoa didn’t expect you to be coming up from behind me holy shit oh shit oh shit bomb no oh shout out to my paraplegic brothers oh my god get how did you survive oh no stop I’m getting trapped everywhere oh everything in this game involves getting fucking trapped oh man I’m getting fucking getting saucy I’m getting a little salty you died get his saucy salt no fuck that I’m getting my souls back I like that it says you died like in there in the ultimate extra little needling like fuck you oh yeah because usually it’s like game over like the story the journey ends or something you died I think that was the I think Resident Evil was like one of the first games if not the first game to just say like you died really yeah yeah I guess it was always just assumed that you die in a game actually you know what I think it was um Friday the 13th Oh God it’s like it’s like when you get a game over it’s like Jason has killed all your friends that’s right yeah and you game over it’s just like Jesus whoa that game was scary for a child to play I know because I was one yeah I was a child I played it I am actually like the litmus test for it to be honest now not the scariest scary not not the scariest in the world don’t you know like in one direction like you go in one direction and on the map it shows you’re going in the other direction yes that’s a fairly huge oversight by the game designers pretty um pretty good pretty good thing they did you could call it a totally unforgivable disaster suppose he could well then good Dan whatever totally good I would call it that I would also call it on my shelf never played I would also call it 50 cents at a local pawn shop oh that’s why I don’t remember this part I just ran right the fuck by it the first time I did it oh there’s a lamp like right down there oh good well there’s nothing in your way whoa whoa shoot your laser somewhere else buddy was that the big thing yeah fuck man yeah I did it I had a feeling like they were capable of no oh no you which you evil witch you died dude go back to the soy jam yeah but now my tonicers is stronger than my saw you jam I don’t know I don’t know if it’s doing you much good to have a strong weapon when you’re repeatedly getting your ass handed to you on a platter by literally every guy you fight stop being a jerk yo shut yeah you know what I think well I do feel a lot better using this now yeah do it feel like a lot more confident it’s it’s all about your comfort level huh interesting because the tonicers is technically stronger sure but at what cost the cost of my soul was how come you didn’t lose oh it’s fat that that’s why this is faster this is a way faster what do you mean this is the cleaver oh yeah whoops that makes all the difference okay well you got to use another weapon you showed it to everybody on the playthrough it’s all good oh yeah I’m so fucking like so much quicker cool I don’t even notice when I switch to the tonicers though maybe it’s just like yeah the noticeability comes from going slow too fast instead of fast slow you’re also probably enamored with how strong it was oh yeah it was pretty strong it’s just frying people I will admit pretty strong hmm God you really do get like a lot of blood echoes for killing everyone you’re already over 20,000 yeah I need to kill one of these hunters I need to attract one of them and I think there’s a guy down these stairs it comes up geez three hunters yeah three and like I don’t think I’ve ever been in a situation where only one of them has noticed me shit throw that pebble yeah well can I reach that far no I’m busy come at me oh my buddy yep see the other one saw me damn fuck yeah I guess you’re just supposed to fight him two at a time you can lose one of them really had fucking damn it they’re fast that second one’s like vampire hunter D back there with this flow and cape and lust for your death this guy man oh man a chevitz this chair will protect me like it has so many times before baby come here bullshit cannon whoa Wow the third one okay great oh oh my god well he’s got arcane arts that’s nice good good good good are you gonna yeah here to come in here I know you are oh maybe you can just get damn she died right next to the fucking spawn point yeah it’s pretty sweet oh what the hell man it’s go time this is the one the ultimate final battle forever Arin gets one shot against the three hunters and if he loses the playthroughs over well I think let’s do it I can’t change my own that’s pretty classy a little higher defense now you’ve got like a little anarchy fucking bandana around your face what do I oh yeah yeah I’m gonna spray-paint walls and make pipe bombs out of cleaner ready to cause mischief that doesn’t change anything it doesn’t really let’s do it this is really I don’t really make a statement or anything it just makes everyone lives miserable breaking stuff it’s fine I’m gonna get the scurrying beast first there’s one over here what do they do again scurrying bees they’re just souls right they just give you they give you shit oh nice what is oh I guess I killed him in the other world so he’s not here anymore all right then fine I’ll fight the hunters ah quit stalling Arin no this is the one trying here it comes trying my best here we go I just how do I get one’s attention and not the other fucking five try try hitting him with the rock and then as soon as he turns around see how fucking as close as I can possibly get to this fucking guy I don’t remember fighting this one guy though that like the helmet head yeah yeah I don’t know why did he just like kind of die on his own whoa excuse me sir fucking target target him for fuck’s sake oh my fucking god target god damn you now run get off the stairs nope God why why whoa whoa why can you use the lightning to your advantage no oh it’s his it’s his thing oh I’m sorry I thought that was a giant octopus lightning oh no that’s one of the hunters okay well shit abilities all right champ come on let’s do it how he always gets that first shot in oh that’s pretty good yeah f-u f-u-c-k ow ow ah he’ll whoop whoop dude I think you’re alone up here take him out thank God she’s nice nice nice nice ow ow oh don’t you fucking take your beast pill or whatever oh that what he just did yeah now he’s a little more he’s a little more jagged Chloe nice dude brosephine brosiding lord of the brosion you’re doing it yo fuck no no don’t get cocky fuck y’all no no you’ll heal heal heal oh oh oh my god this guy’s so close to dead yeah fuck you you piece of shit motherfucker all right can you save well it’s already it’s already done oh oh so he’ll never come back yeah who so now I just got a fabulous find where the other one is even if the other one kills you yeah nice yeah dude that feels good it that dude killing a hunter is like oh I’m happy for you here okay those guys weren’t really hunting oh god that was like a horror movie oh I remember how I killed this one I just threw poison knives at him forever do it oh no now they’re both here I’m lightning I’m out I’m out goodbye I’ll see you later I am out e5 pass the only one will follow me yeah use as long as this is like a fucking Bruce Lee movie and like only one attacks at once hey you might have really caught a break no I’m not the flamethrower you freakin ghost Jesus these guys are so fast yeah now you’re stunned piece of shimmy shimmy stop with that boy they don’t say shit to you now oh yeah like they used to have a little speech that would accompany them at least now it’s just like fuck you fuck you for living they could pay for all those lines yeah that’s a good point a lot of characters whatever I don’t need that fucking I was paid sag after wages I am a hunter therefore I deserve Union pay oh look at him creeping yeah oh you’re scared huh you’re scared Oh God hey you’re fucking scared aren’t yow oh boy you’re scared come on come at me bro come at me okay hey you’re scared huh bang whoo that hurts don’t it nice whoa that is a huge range yeah fuck you fuck you fuck you no ow ow it hurts mmm the pain edge hurts like 60 Hertz refresh rate baby everybody hurts H ER TZ whoa oh I’m out of bullets oh man you had him that was a really shitty realization at a really shitty time now let’s get it on I’m sorry well let’s get it on mm-hmm that’s where it needs to get this guy gonna see me oh god oh god oh hello oh you made a new buddy why does he always from all the way across the room he sees that he’s got good uh it’s got solid eyesight and he might have like one of those little like lifty binoculars that it’s on like a little metal rod a monocular like no that’s that’s one lens but oh is this the same guy that you fought before or is this the other dude bang fuck you oh damn is this the lightning guy is what I’m asking I think they both are they the same kind of you like ability okay oh he is significantly easier for some reason oh geez okay nice oh yeah I think he’s a different guy cuz he’s not using the whip yeah oh yeah definitely how mmm you are on fire though you are definitely on fire oh maybe he is the guy if he’s the guy then that’s pretty good because you’re whooping his ass Jesus all right I’ll take it yeah oh whoa stay back that’s what he did to you last time back evil do it got like all the way down all right come on just one shot baby yeah eat my dick eat my woman dick my floppy fucking dick mmm my side dick nice yeah I got a dick coming out the side of my leg yeah ladies love the side dick the same way that men love side boob third guys coming and some ladies love side boob hey buddy what do you think sir can I interest you in a rock have you accepted rock is your personal savior oh yeah this fucking guy is so coy oh yeah I come at you and then he’ll like retreat he draws you in because he’s really good at that fucking doorway yeah fight yeah take your cannon up your ass brutal yeah she’s a piece of shit he’s like to the doorway oh oh no god man you can’t make one mistake with these guys oh it’s tough fucking switch your weapon on me to get naughty yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah whoa that’s holy crap did you see how fucking damaged they fucking lanced you he was really lacing into you oh that was the wrong like so I was pressing the wrong button oh I was pressing the serrate my own sword into my head button damn you left bumper yeah fuck you fuck you fuck you you’re out of here you fucking out of here yeah great job you did it now we can continue with the playthrough give up hello don’t mind me like BAM and blow them all up but then she’s oh yeah oh yeah I remember this from last time yeah so there’s a secret over here I’m gonna I’m gonna enlighten all you jerks at home what’s up jerks another game of game all right another game of game yeah yeah I was so busy insulting our audience that I forgot I was gonna say sorry guys if there was a game grumps game I’d fucking I’d play the shit out of it especially if it was like a like a card-based board game like we’re a board-based card game no way we’re in game-based cardboard now you’re just spouting blast sorry sorry well there’s a guy in here and I think those ladies are gonna fall down no they’re good great okay cool yeah there’s this dude did you think they were gonna topple over like the fucking bodies in the happening oh yeah they just fucking jump off the cliff yeah the crappening and then and then Andy Wahlberg is like Mark Wahlberg you mean Mark Wahlberg Donnie Donnie you’re using Mark Wahlberg and Andy Wahlberg Andy Samberg and Andy Samberg all three of those people they’re all birds yeah oh shit it’s the this lady she’s cool she the bell ringer yeah she’s the bell okay cool in this area that’s good so in this I had to drop down and go in this little area and the reason I did that is because it’s to get into that whoa hey how are you the reason I did that is to get into this area right here well he’s got an item fuck yeah he does nice so when you go down here now you’re in this little cage area that I was in before but I didn’t I sucked too much and I didn’t want to be in here but this is how you get in here and there’s a key and I’ll show you where that leads well fucking a in a little bit but for now I’m gonna kill this motherfucker do it you sorry sack of shit I’m sorry that wasn’t that didn’t come out as encouraging as I meant it to was it suppose I can’t imagine a situation where that was an encouraging it was sorry sack of shit I only thought of like the S sounds previously and I was like you silly Sammy and like sorry sack of shit is what came out instead oh yeah yeah having a tough time at least he killed Freddy Krueger in her wheelchair dreams is the old man you met today at the grocery store I’m coming for you slowly sometimes I don’t know when his like fucking knife hand like clips the tires and it’s like on account of my bum leg I can’t come at you very quickly but hey you know what I’m your nightmare yeah just just keep that in mind you know I mean you dream and I can control where I’m at and everything but I don’t know why I always show up in a wheelchair geez it’s the only way to travel slowly and it’s hard to catch like grab with my hands cuz they’re not this is it’s hard it’s a hard life for me he comes back and he’s like it’s like Stephen Hawking style he’s like typing it at the computer oh no they killed me Karen you suck at video it’s okay I’m right there with the blood echoes are you died what the fuck is no this guy in the cosmos are one cool what inspect bath all right oh whoa I don’t know if that was good I don’t know where I’m going I don’t know about any of this yeah you’ve been so in control this whole playthrough like I’ve got this oh where are we don’t know where I am did you just teleport I guess so it looks like I’m in the same area where to where the fuck did you just take a bath did you just take a hot bath wait wait wait am I in the same pool what is that have you ever seen that it’s a gross lycanthrope okay you it certainly is wait I don’t think I’ve ever fought this one before holy crap holy crud did you just go to the equivalent of like the dark world and a link to the past I don’t know maybe god that thing is hideous he’s got legs for days I like to imagine he’s got like a wallet and the legs for days are coming out of other legs yeah not attractive I let whoa oh it’s just a guy I like to imagine that he has like a wallet and he’s like no my children and then he’s got like a picture of his family and they all look like this and he’s like trying to get his wallet out of his pocket with his foot and he’s like damn it it keeps falling off I’m all feats yeah god just two hands is all I needed oh no god you had to give me the 12 feet oh geez had to make me a feet man you know what I don’t even have a foot finish yeah how’s that how’s that for weird a lot of feet man out there apparently Dan I’m scared I really don’t know where I you’re scared I’m the one that has to fucking look at this thing and have no control over what’s happening it is dark in here too you shouldn’t record in the dark oh I think I think I think I might know where I am really by the looks at uh by the looks at that wall you’re in Halloween town oh that’s a lot of heads goodbye dude how many people fucking were alive in this place at one point oh my god yeah so many dead issues where am I yeah I don’t know I’m scared damn all right I’m like actually pretty scared I’m an oh are you back in that first town I know where I am do you yeah okay here I am this is where I started oh geez that thing is so there’s at least 40 heads between them oh they caught on fire oh that’s nice neat oh that’s super nice oh great another on fire yeah that’s and we’re not talking about like they’re great dancers they are they are literally on fire oh they’re like really slow and like janky now too wow that’s awesome all right we’ll remember that oh he’s trying to get away he’s on fire not so fast my friend is not so fast my clergy of people yeah my myriad is that what happened to the last person who took a bath I’m singing in the shower mmm singing as I melt God are you up there I’m just gonna sit right here until you answer my call a thousand years later yeah there’s a lot of these dudes and like I’m not okay with it what are they in a treasure trunk yeah oh god they’re so strong and fast weird light them on fire I don’t oh my god remember that thing from eight seconds ago I didn’t realize I could do it yeah oh it’s not happening dang it no no oh stop goodness you got him as strong as I thought he was well that’s cool one down seven hundred thousand billion to go there’s like look at this they’re having a fucking they’re having a gross like skull hand party ew and there’s one like getting lucky in there you see oh yeah yeah that’s that is a gang gang gang bang this is getting lucky with himself yeah no oh dear why’d you disturb me in my time of this is the fucking grossest game is it yeah that’s a really good time to ask that question no oh it hurts oh oh it’s eating me yeah yeah that’s not cool that is the bad touch like yeah can you imagine like being involved in that hug like if that was your uncle and like every time he came over your mom was like now hug ya good morning she like leans in and she’s like I know I know just just do it he’s got a disease he’s got all of the diseases we’re the only next of kin and he owns Microsoft oh boy come here baby come here come here I want to show you a good time by low cell hi nephew that’s what I say oh wow damn did you see it killed me instantly damn what happened I don’t know ever she was oh no see you cuz you’re on the inside oh this is nice this is actually kind of nice excellent as you’re like skin is melting away yeah these things happen you know what it’s worth it for seeing you and like it’s just like it’s nice bill it’s great you’re good guy you’re good guy oh sure and boy went to college together whoa he’s like oh geez ow then it hurts ow sorry you guys all look the same they’re like what no your skulls I’m sorry never mind thought you humans were trying to fix that stuff just one is like not cool I was gonna move to America whatever I’ll stay here in jolly old England dude what are you gonna do about that I just kill all right okay cool I thought I thought like one attacking you meant it was bound to be all of them in a moment seems like a pretty good strategy yeah I like it there’s blood echoes nice yeah there’s a pose that I got in the air bitch there’s a pose that I’m gonna get pretty soon right I’m really happy about getting what is it I’ll show you I don’t want to spoil it I don’t want to spoil the broth okay are there only two or is it an optical illusion and there’s four or are there too many oh nice and now it’s time to go Oh Wow I thought there were three got those things I know there were four yeah they really take up a lot of like fucking room no don’t no don’t oh I love my animation to him like jeez jeez that’s criminal it’s it’s funny because like the that the animation technique that they use to like give the skulls a feeling of like breathing and life are the same ones our editor Garrett used in the in the road trip video for ninja sex party to make it look like the water was moving it’s just like a real simple like like that kind of thing yeah I’m like man way scarier here yeah usually when you when you apply a filter to a myriad of gross stretched faces yeah see it comes out scarier yeah agreed agreed and what’s this deal here this dead guy oh what’s the deal with all the dead guys like some are on fire some are not does it matter I don’t know that there is all right cool man is effective thanks for noticing you have 44,000 blood echoes my friend yeah that’s why I’m running back to okay you are going we don’t want that uh that 53,000 debacle that we had before that was a debacle there’s no other fucking word for it it was it it’s it’s it’s one of the very few times that I read the comments recently mm-hmm and it was like it was just like Dan told you that’s so funny yeah you know you know how like certain people say things in certain situations and like when you encounter that situation you kind of pretend that person’s there and you can just hear their voice yeah like there there is like a something you do like a no no like that yeah and whenever like you’re about to lose echoes I’m like oh here comes that’s a great impression of me it’s really funny no no it’s so honest it’s it’s from such a sad honest place I’ll just comes rushing it like oh and he told me and I just didn’t know it I knew it and yeah cuz it’s not just like the sadness in the moment it’s it’s the regrets of the past and the dreading of the future like what you’re gonna hear from people like because you fucked up thank you what happened there I’m like using them too fast for the game to know and they just like didn’t use it whoa twice in a row I don’t know if you saw that yeah like I did the animation but it didn’t give me anything and it didn’t take away from my inventory very weird yeah super yeah all right yeah tell me a story hey is this somebody’s grave think I’ll put my butt on it little miss Muffett side on her top of it shut your eyes hurting her curds in the spider that’s down beside her have you ever do you ever try to make an S sound and you like your teeth whistle like this that one I’ve never been able to do that on command oh really this has it has happened on accident dude I can I can actually whistle like that like wait how do you do that I don’t know that’s incredible I don’t know I don’t know how I do it it is lip whistle it like what was that I can do the lip whistle you mean whistling where you pucker and blow well some people do there’s three different whistles all right okay there’s well there’s four different whistles but I guess the third one counts as like maybe two I am there’s there’s more confused than when you start a double finger side oh sure that I can’t do there’s the pucker whistle and there’s the teeth whistle yeah there there yeah there is a fourth whistle there’s that teeth whistle where like you put your teeth I mean you put your tongue up against your teeth and then like it’s super loud you know like some people can do that one whoa really remember that my whistle knowledge mind remember that uh that video I played for you that insane performance by hocus-pocus of their song focus which sounds ridiculous but if you look up a live performance I think it’s live 1973 focus by hocus-pocus it’s one of the fucking raddest you not show me that remember that name or menses I’ve ever seen it’s like you remember that yeah so he has like a section in there where he does that type of whistling the fourth kind and it’s like super fucking powerful it’s like a tea kettle man yeah that video makes me want to fucking scream it’s so crazy awesome well shit yeah I wish I could I can only do one I can only do one whistle it’s all I’m capable of that’s fine you can do the pucker whistle right yeah I can do it I remember that’s actually the first time that I ever felt like that twinge of like because you know it’s one thing for somebody to be like you know what you’re really good at that you know but it’s another thing to like do something and then get that immediate reaction of like whoa you are amazing at that right you know and that was the first time I ever got that in my life was I I was like five or six or something yeah and I just did like a normal whistle and it was super loud and my parents were like whoa that’s a crazy good whistle and I was like yeah yeah I know thank you mother and father you know I was the exact opposite like I I somehow got it in my head that if if you took credit for anything like you were arrogant or something like that so this is true actually I won an art contest when I was like 11 years old for like this drawing I I did of a stegosaurus it was for PBS it was for channel 13 uh-huh and and so like the picture like it was original like I just thought of it and then did it but when it got chosen to like be on TV and everything they did an interview of me and they were like where did you get the idea for this painting and I I thought it was rude or wrong to say like I just thought of it so I was just like I just copied it out of a book and my mom and dad are like oh my god you are on TV right now it’s funny well really it’s totally true oh man it’s totally true I was like I thought I thought I was being a dick by like taking credit for it I don’t know yeah that’s sad that’s really interesting I know my mom still has that painting she framed it and she put it in our house this is where I was so like they’re these really nice works of professional art and then this fucking derpy 11 year old stegosaurus painting but that’s the one she’s proudest of that she’s like that’s my little blue ribbon winner I’ll be that out of a book yeah well I told her this the truth later huh that’s it that’s interesting yeah I was pretty that conversation came up from the fact that I acted like I responded to it going like yeah that’s fuck right I did right it’s not how I actually react okay just making a joke I was just kind of like oh thank you you know I’ve always wanted your love but yeah but I’ve never um never it was never the to that point that’s crazy yeah I don’t know want to see the crazy makes it sound like it’s like wrong no I mean I just had strange ideas about things when I was a kid cuz I always like I overthink things in general you know yeah and like the good whoa Healy time the good side of that is that like you know you look at things deeply and like you get a lot of joy from like you know looking at angles of things that you wouldn’t have otherwise considered right the downside of that is that you can think yourself into being a fucking nervous wreck disaster almost at any time oh sure so like that’s called anxiety it sure is and I sometimes get just a touch of it yeah just a touch just a just a just a squeaking fuck it’s shooting at me right now I don’t know but after after you killed these guys I want to show you something don’t let me forget we’re both totally yeah yeah well just remember twinkle twinkle little star mm-hmm just remember that and then it’ll remind us of that because it’s weird enough right right it’ll stay in your mind cool thanks Arin does that make any sense no but we’re gonna try it we’re gonna we’re gonna see if it works remember twinkle twinkle little star you got it you got it just remember it don’t forget it don’t fuck it up now stinkle stink a little twar damn it how could you wait oh yes well he really is all way yeah I know it’s a big old pile of leggy way there’s so much there’s so many dudes here so many different it’s just like so many fresh hells in one room you know why what’s that you know why I like I don’t remember this spot and why I’m like oh come on really yeah oh no no no it’s because I just ran past this part oh I say like in my other game I wasn’t this strong and I like I just kept dying the moment I came in here and I was just like you know what fuck it and I just ran and I was like I wonder how far I can get and at the very end of this hallway there’s a thing that warps you into a different world hmm so like it paid off but I never got to see what this part of the world had I say door for me which is just hell yeah yeah sometimes the fucking adjustment is the way to go yeah it has worked because I actually did it in that part before this with all the people on the stairs and they’re like the amygdala that shoots oh yeah the laser at you yes oh you don’t have to tell me he’s enormous and everywhere around you if you just look up stop biting me yes stop with the heritage they really like fucking like attacking me constantly well what’s the thing Shaun of the Dead’s mom says like it was bit bitey I haven’t seen that movie in its entirety ever really yeah I always see it in chunks I like it certain parts of it are extremely sad yeah I don’t I don’t know why I never checked it out because I liked everything usually when you see something in chunks it’s kind of like yeah whatever yeah you don’t get the context of it no it’s a fun movie yeah like everything except for the incredibly not fun parts where people die right I mean I’m it’s not spoiler it’s a zombie movie right what else would people do other than be scared and die yeah and run and run a lot of running a lot and like unintentional killing yeah and like having to do with having to deal with like there’s always that scene in every zombie movie where it’s like no not my friend now I have to kill my friend yeah of course because now he’s a zombie oh no I actually had to stop watching Walking Dead because it was just like it’s extremely well done and awesome but like it just got to the point where like every time the credits would roll I was I was like I feel so much worse than before I started watching this really yeah it just made me feel bad man he is no joke well twinkle twinkle little star oh sweet yeah yeah I wanted to show you a guy up against a wall but like you died and now you’re not in that place anymore I’m gonna be there in a second oh really yeah as long as there’s nobody in here that’ll give me a hard time and there’s not so now I’m in the new place hold on actually I got a run I gotta kill that guy up on the ledge cuz he’s he’s just a big old jerk he’s a tricksy bitch he’s a big old jerk and these guys are shooting fucking blood bullets at me and I don’t even know what the fuck is going on it’s okay it’s okay it wasn’t even that good it was just a like one of the frozen corpses up against the fucking wall going like yeah but I was I hadn’t really thought of anything funny to say I was like oh god I’ll just go there and then say whatever happens okay I’m almost there I swear it no the moment is past I swear it on my mother’s life oh god you’re just there’s too many things so you know what I mean oh god he got past it oh no this is horrible I don’t want this like the world’s grossest game of leapfrog oh god hello gross dead wolf man corpse with he’s dead he doesn’t weigh too many legs he can’t he can’t process that you said hi to him okay he’s dead but still it’s not even he’s it’s not like he had like a religious affiliation or anything he’s just he’s just a gross demon thing yeah it’s true so you don’t have to worry about it all dogs go to heaven Arin you would you was would you really classify him as a dog I mean he is dog options are limited dog like at best yeah agreed um are you having a nice bath I don’t know I don’t know I can’t feel it’s I don’t empathize with this character I would I would have it there man he is tenacious it’s like he doesn’t have anything better to do Bell lady oh she’s up here that’s awesome oh this is actually a good thing yeah die please oh hi hi slash man oh she’s the worst yeah she’s pretty bad I have too many bullets I have too many bullets so Dan yes I came up with an idea the other day tell it to me what if mm-hmm you could like scan the world for like any question that you could possibly want to know like for example you’re like in a group of people you’re like Disney World or whatever okay there’s like a ton of people and then you could just be like which one of these people would give me a dollar and then and then it just shows you like boop like they show up like red that that’s interesting I you know what I have thought in my mind like you know people are always talking about like finding like the one you know and and falling in love and getting married I always wonder like when I’m in like let’s say Disneyland you know a place with what 50,000 people in it at any given time probably more sure I’m like I wonder how many like people like to think there’s only one person out there for them yeah I wonder how many people at this Disneyland right now I could spend the rest of my life with and be super happy uh yeah probably like 500 600 yeah sure I mean especially like especially when you factor in oh Jesus that is disgusting especially when you factor in like like what like even going back a little bit like what brought them to where they are now you know what do you mean well like it’s like okay what makes a person are they a some of their parts in terms of like what they’ve been through in life or are they sort of predisposed to be a certain way yeah so like if you could go back before that Disneyland world and then just and then be like would I even like this person if they yeah it’s timing is everything for sure like if I wait are we getting too deep for a cutscene oh she is not as attractive were you like oh man I was thinking of asking her out of the bell ringing girl hmm all right we’ll pause when I scan this pause the deep conversation hmm that remember this at all that might not be good I don’t know if that’s good I don’t remember I have no blood vials is that right yeah oh gross I don’t I hate it when the universe barfs yeah I think I do remember this hey congratulations mr.

and mrs.

Shriver it’s an it it’s it’s out oh god oh oh I do not think you are equipped to fight this thing where’s its fucking head why would you think that my god are you kidding me we even thought of that oh he’s the one reborn oh that’s cool yeah whoa that’s not so much a big deal or anything no you’ll be fine I think I don’t remember this guy because he was super easy but really you know I’m probably gonna die because I don’t have any fucking healing weapons hey you’re fine you only lost half your life nope you’re dead well we sure did have fun today but now it’s time to go home okay where are we going yes but no like to to continue on what you were saying like yes it’s true you could you could find a person in there and just be like if I met you now it wouldn’t work at all but if I met you a year from now two years from now or three years ago like it could be a totally different experience it’s it’s weird man fo sho bitch very life is uh it’s a repeated endless kick to the nuts and then when you think you got the hang of it like life is like hey I got these new boots I’d like to try on your nuts and you’re just kind of like well is it yeah I guess this is the arrangement yeah but I’m like no I can see it coming because I’ve been through this oh darn it I’ve been through this before so I can avoid this nut kick and life’s like actually I’ve also been training in this new form nut karate so I’ll kick you in a way you’ve never even considered being kicked before and whenever I try to randomly come up with a name for our audience it it never works out for the best always like a really mean thing to say or just a stupid thing to say oh sure what was the last one before that Tina’s and Thomas’s you know for a guy who does like an improvised show boy not not very proud of my work yeah well it’s think it’s it’s all about context what context did the episode had just started oh I mean like you know we’re playing a video game right if you were on stage and it was like all right scene you’re a doctor and he’s a guy who is a hypochondriac mm-hmm then then it’s like okay you have somewhere to go but if you just it’s like welcome back to the show Tina’s and Thomas’s seems like par for the course you’re probably right you know what this talk is making me realize what wait well you know what I was gonna say we haven’t done an improv sentence in a long time but maybe I’ll do it when you’re not getting shot at and attacked by lycanthropes whoops pardon me good sir like I can’t handle it all right once I can’t handle it okay too much all right I’m getting shot at by blood bullets and shit it’s not how you play the game Arin you’re just one word I’m sorry all right all right I’ll do it when I’m fighting the boss don’t I know I was starting a sentence I wasn’t long way okay God I thought I was going the right way but I went the wrong way okay go ahead okay Tina Turner all right go ahead was that the end of our first that was the whole sentence okay Tina Turner here we go do it all right I was walking to the store and finally I said hey what’s in the store so then I told my friend who is stupid that one of my deepest fears is to walk on a Sherpa I don’t know where that came from I’m pretty sure I’m not positive I’m pretty sure a Sherpa is a guide that will take you up a mountain yes so one would not walk on a Sherpa and certainly it would not register as one’s deepest fear I haven’t thought about a Sherpa mm-hmm in like six years I only think about them because of fucking Team America World Police where he’s trying to like ingratiate himself with the terrorists uh-huh and he’s like Sherpa dear friend and he’s like Durkadurka Mohammed jihad Sherpa Sherpa and they’re like oh Durkadurka Durkadurka yeah let’s do another one that is a funny movie let’s do it let’s do another one okay one two three perhaps that might have not been our best work as improv artists there uh thank you to the average of two hundred thousand people that watch us do this every day and are happy about it thank you we can’t thank you enough which is why we’re working so hard to raise our game so here we go yeah whoa actually maybe we should whoa what all right I guess the mist doesn’t hold he’s just still there he’s like I’ll watch yeah now wait oh this is exactly what I like to beat off to oh look at the stampy legs oh it’s hurting me why is it hurting me oh he’s gooping he’s gooping me that’s ah no we stamping around okay okay how did I beat this guy I’m fucking I don’t remember this fight like practically at all you should pause and look it up I think I got like right up on his grundle okay whoa whoa whoa we’re about to die only frick dude yeah that did not work that was a bad idea Jesus criminy I don’t think you ever fought this guy no I totally did oh what if you have to hit the skeleton yeah but I can’t reach it oh you can’t it’s it’s just as like his inner goop hurts oh like like when he does that like see how the skeletons down now oh maybe you can run around a whale on him let me try that well dang it and get him in the butt that that seems right though when he drops down like yeah yeah yeah agreed I think that’s the goal he’s certainly not doing like a ton of damage now although I have jinxed myself in the past before yeah in fact I feel like I’m doing her right now he I mean like what he meant oh what the hell well I got another dude I think he just oh he’s got he’s got parts yeah he’s just throwing legs at you oh shit dude yeah yeah dude whoa fireballs man okay yeah right in the arm how do you like that you like it when I hit you in the arm I bet you don’t like it I don’t like it either that’s why you shouldn’t do it to me well then don’t do upon others what you wouldn’t don’t want on yourself yeah what words of words of no words of wise no my battery is getting low oh god no this is just all kinds of hell am I supposed to shock my duels oh no no don’t stop on me oh gosh pretty frick dude okay boy this is uh I don’t know this could be going better I know how to approach this mmm god the fireball is really just oh well that’s it okay barfed on me okay we’re gonna do a little quick pause and get back to this guy and I might just take a little look-see on the Internet remember this day oh boy hit the timer to okay I’m back to her I’m back here we found out there’s a stairs and there’s a lady up here that’s shooting the fireballs that I can I can I can wreck her shit oh yeah yeah yeah she was the one to be in the yeah oops done you did the thing you weren’t supposed well she’s dead oh she is just straight killed okay good so yeah they are not strong when you actually murder them yeah great great yeah have a lovely day okay now I remember this do you yeah this is why oh this is why I remember this bridge okay and it reminded me of that shadow the Colossus one yeah it’s definitely very shadow of the Colossus see whoa whoa all right hey I see you noticed I murdered six of your friends well who knows if they’re friends or not I mean no need to get all uppity about it I guess since they raised him from like that portal they’re technically his mom’s ooh yeah that’s a lot of responsibility that is actually it’s very little responsibility oh yeah cuz yeah it’s divided six ways divided could you get over here please man that is just that is gross when you get a bird’s-eye view like that it really puts things into perspective I was listening to just thinking of kids I was listening to Marc Maron do you know you know him yeah the comedian he’s really fucking funny he was talking about I always feel bad whenever I talk about comedians bits on on the show but go check out Marc Maron there now it’s fair he’s got that what the fuck podcast yes the WTF and he was talking about how the girl he’s with now wants to have kids and he’s like you know I’m such a nervous panicky guy that the only two states of thought that I can have with regards to a baby are like oh man having a baby that seems like a beautiful thing and then his mind goes right to it’s like like he’ll fuck it up somehow and kill the baby like oh what a treasure that that God has given us and a little me and I can share my life with him it’s not breathing he’s good you know I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen any of his stand-up I’ve just heard bits from his podcast he’s I mean like different people have different feelings on him but he’s a great great storyteller he doesn’t tell jokes so much as just like relay information in a very funny way sure yeah it’s a Kevin Smith yeah exactly exactly oh gosh yeah that didn’t really really nicked yeah very edge of his right knee I think I’ll just nobody he’s down he’s down let’s go at him get the corpse the corpse yeah like when he puts his butt down like that doesn’t mean the corpse is like dangling doing the dangle oh oh right well if I can waste my time going there and risk not hitting anything okay I could just wail on this part all right yeah it’s just how I feel inside hey do what you want to do man I’m not listen I’m not your dad I’m not gonna tell you how to murder corpses that’s for you to decide oh God what is happening what is happening why did I die I have no I did you see nothing happen there was just goo on the floor for a sec all right here we go pausing again the one reborn let’s fucking do this again what has he been reborn from ashes I asked goop goopy I would hope something more attractive than what he has been reborn as because I’m gonna barf yeah this is what he looked like in his first life yeah and then he gets born again he’s like oh geez I thought I’d be a butterfly or something geez go go murder dems girls do you think if um do you think if juicy juice made like a jello it would be goopy goop yeah why not yeah good question 100% juice for all the goop in the world is that their terrible slogan yeah yeah well their slogan is 100% juice for 100% kids but I think that’s extremely limiting because I enjoy juicy juice and I’m a fucking adult what about kid that’s like missing a finger like and is only like 97% kid it’s really oh man I wish we were being paid for this no we’re not we are most certainly not not by jello well juicy juice oh that’s what I meant as a company juicy juice I got confused oh shit whoa we shot the thing at me hold on watch this oh dude that was like ow ow ow stop stop snow no that’s the Lord of the Rings II it didn’t do like anything you didn’t do jack shit no was it oh he’s doing the thing he’s doing the goopy floor did it at least knock him off his feet what is he doing I don’t know why are you jack shit out what are you doing cool right ah you want to come back to my dorm I’m sick of his fucking odd it’s it’s it’s ah what the hell man Wow Wow didn’t the fucking walkthrough say if you jump on him it does a lot of damage it did that does not look like a lot of damage to me Dan looks like very little you fucking you lied to me I read it right from you conveyed lies to me all right we’re gonna from a different source hit the old pause but no it’s okay I found a shortcut are you super sure about that I found a short don’t you need to watch a video to see how it’s done no do I I do you really want my opinion on this I guess yeah yeah all right but pausing now but often yo shit my name’s the raging Canadian welcome back this is so the one is it no no it’s up to you I just want to start I just want to start like one of our playthroughs like you know like one of those fucking walkthroughs that we’re always watching or it’s like here’s everybody this is Arin from game grumps we’re gonna talk about the the one reborn that’s really easy fight we’re gonna have to just walk over here you know you don’t even fight him at the beginning you just want to run up these stairs really quick watch your stamina everything’s good actually you might have noticed in the in the opening cutscene these creatures right here they actually summoned the one reborn and you actually have to take them out now usually you can just kill them in in two hits depending on your on your on your leveled up and everything but every so often they’ll fall off now I didn’t I didn’t make that one fall off but you know maybe in this next one I’ll have a chance so you can see but usually the fall damage will take them out it’s almost like I’m not laughing because your fucking impression is so on the nose it just feels like I’m listening to the walkthrough again god damn now once these once these all women are all dead you’re gonna want to go down down there and you know to be sure this is actually a really easy fight yeah they love to like say how easy it is after you you’ve clearly struggled otherwise why would you be watching their fucking walkthrough oh man I did this while I was asleep and I had herpes in my eye I was I couldn’t see I was blind for three days but I did this anyway because I mean it’s just that easy frankly when you’re this good to be sure I did have I herpes and to be sure unquestionably herpes it will never go away I have it in my eyes for the rest of my life but I still beat the one Ramon in like two seconds very easy very easy fight one of one of one of the most embarrassing losses if you if you manage to get to that point yeah if you lose to this you should probably should relinquish parental control of any children you may have because you’re an unfit father obviously oh there it is I’m that corpse I can’t make it over there in time do you know it’s just it’s like that’s what happens every time I watch one of these walkthroughs it’s just like it looks so easy and then I go into it and they start doing shit that they never did in the walk oh I say and it’s like what the width it’s the walkthrough is actually like the 40th attempt that like everything worked out so lucky shot yeah it happens get out of here oh no oh gosh oh now you’re a OE ah gee hey wait area of effect whoo is what that type of attack is called I thought that was the name of a new DJ that I wasn’t previously DJ Steve a OE apparently shut down Broadway Avenue and in the Hollywood just to have a Steve Aoki DJ show is that right Jesus like what like come on man I know is this his back leg oh it is okay this is back does that make more sense yes okay whoops this is more along the lines of where I was watching okay oh yeah that makes sense doing like a thousand times more attacks and he wasn’t this stupid video I just watched like I don’t mean to I know I can I can vouch for it I could vouch for it he’s way way easier than this he’s way less active he’s like I’m just on the legs now and and he didn’t have these like fucking like demon portal attacks you are you are one tired Tommy when it comes to this situation saucy yeah saucy saucy it’s like salsa right right it’s like saucy but with more onions and peppers lots of tomatoes yeah mmm a nice spicy tomato fucking hate tomatoes a guy oh basically yeah you hate tomatoes it’s pronounced first of all it’s pronounced Pico de gallo and secondly yes I hate I’ve always hated oh my god really yeah oh you knew that about me I didn’t you’ve never seen me pick tomatoes off of anything with tomatoes I I guess not yeah I mean I’m down with the hating tomatoes if there’s one thing that I can be negative about it is tomatoes yeah if there’s two things I’m down with it’s hating tomatoes and the sickness not even in that order and getting up and coming on oh sure and then getting down right obviously with with specifically with the six yeah you mother get up you you a female birther of a child that always struck me as weird that like for no reason in the middle of that so he’s like you mother get up get down with the sickness one thing I think he’s trying to say like you mother effort yeah maybe it was a radio edit don’t know why I was censoring yourself on a non-censored program oh I think he was saying the F word Dan I mean this is game grumps so we’re not gonna say fuck obviously but there you go there you go there you go that’s why I don’t what is he doing I don’t know what he’s doing I’m scared I’m scared oh he’s definitely doing the thing we get to his side and try taking him out I know these are hard oh I see what he’s doing that’s why I got confused why I feel like shifts his weight yeah he’s backing away well like so now like he’ll get upset and then he’ll make this part his front like I always just thought he just thought he had a back and a front oh but as it turns out he has like two front see now he’s using that as his front uh-huh okay I mean it’s his body’s always back here but that’s interesting the lower part is the part that’s less danger yes I just try to work it in such a way that like you’ll end up on the corpse or near the corpse when he goes down like an upset babu like it like a tiny upset babu come here baby come here come on slice you up real good like a fried chicken you don’t slice rotisserie chicken right of course that’s what I meant yeah ah no oh I don’t have any life vials Arin what did I tell you about this exact scenario I don’t know if you had five more you did you’d win this for sure pectoring me you know what I think I can do it look at this oh do you see that I think you can’t you just oh can I just like holy crap whoa just really letting you whale on him yeah seriously okay okay okay just don’t like it okay well oh no come on no God oh geez oh I’m scared I’m scared I don’t know what’s happening yeah oh I’m giving you full marks for that oh thanks you check this out if you inspect the mummy oh no please give me strength my man did it in an hour just gone what yeah we’re going to a different world no shit yeah so that dead dude just became a portal yeah pretty much how did you find that out well you just walk up to him did you see a dead guy in a giant face cage and you’re like I want to put my hand on his shoulder and reassure him that everything’s going to be okay I mean ask that to the in-game character for me it was just like what’s the only thing in the room oh okay all right fair enough fair enough um all right here we go this was my best game ever you know what let’s try it again okay don’t ever talk to me when I’m angry at you or not you it’s gonna say that fucking guy up there don’t ever talk to me when I’m angry at you or not you fucking piece of advice bitch whoa that’s a lot of dudes praying classes in session oh I guess they’re just yeah it’s a lecture building it’s like haunting 101 what’s up goo man goo man shoe you’re not supposed to be in here Oh goo man group I’m gonna all pass please yeah I’m gonna call the principal all right or I’ll die I’ll just melt until you’ve got he turned into a gross sluggish bit fired third I just wanted to say it yeah no it feels good God when was the first episode that we talked about cake farts I was like when I first joined right yeah that was pretty early on we were so young back then I sure felt like it it’s it’s it’s kind of weird how it feels like it ages you like two years for every year what doing game grumps yeah do you gay ribs feels like I feel like I started when I was 12 years ago and now I’m 175 true that bro not that we don’t love it it’s just uh it’s uh it’s it’s intense yeah you got to bring it you really got to bring it if you don’t bring it then you ain’t gonna then you’re just you’re just gonna wing it yeah which is no you know that no winging it is the opposite of bringing it don’t wing it that’s what I’m saying you got to bring it or else you got to wing it no that’s what right yes yes and winging it isn’t it doesn’t have a positive connotation usually I guess yeah like unless you’re like well I just winged that you see that shit right off the top of my head you know what I mean I guess I could sing it you could sing it you’d better bring it bitch but don’t wing it have you ever had a conversation with someone where like you’re like two minutes deep into it and you don’t know what the fuck either of you two are talking about yes that happens a lot of parties little reminiscent of right now isn’t it no that does happen at parties all the time especially because like parties are loud and overwhelming sometimes you just can’t hear yeah and you’re like darting your eyes around like trying to look for somebody that you recognize yes that is true so like you’re in a conversation with somebody and they’re talking and you’re like yeah man absolutely and then the one thing that like you think you understand you’re like oh man and when it when it happens to me like because I’ve been in traffic for like forever you know and like when it happens there and they’re just looking at you like I don’t know fucker but they’re like yeah man traffic right yeah it’s like the world’s hardest improv it is funny we’re just trying to justify and justify and justify yeah yeah nothing’s happening completely understand a lot of quick solar bullets going on whoa whoa he’s just throwing himself at me for a while is that what’s happening he’s got like a bucket of goop but he’s also made of goop so it’s weird that yeah that’s why I’m confused all right what you do do you guys need goo do you need girl I got plenty of go I got good for and if you run out of that cool I’m goop don’t you ever worry about this girl it’s coming coming right at you outstanding it’s like Bernie goop yes bloodstone chunks that stone chunk girl I could level up my cleaver your June cleaver yeah Ward oh man the innocence of 50s television like when leave it to beavers mom would like to talk to him the dad about it and it’s like Ward you were pretty rough on the beaver last night and I’m just like sitting there like oh my god I’m sure that was completely intentional I don’t think they knew dude really dude that was that was the time when like you couldn’t show a toilet on TV you couldn’t show a married couple sleeping in the same bed right right they had to have separate beds as all married couples do it’s so weird it’s weird too because then you go to like a like a hospital hospital you go to like a hotel right I don’t know what the fuck Freudian check-in hospital you know much for one night in the ICU please whoa gross you go to a hotel that’s like from that era uh-huh and it’s like we only have like double twins oh yeah it’s like you don’t have a king bed not not in the 60 years that you’ve been in operation since then that’s true have you ever thought like oh maybe we should invest in a king-size bed no no I got a king-size bed even maybe a queen and I don’t even rent that shit out I just sleep diagonally across the entire thing Oh diagonal sleep feels amazing is the best starting well I need I need a king-size bed other otherwise my fucking feet dangle off the edge oh yeah definitely California King yeah California King that’s correct I don’t know why they have giant people out here but apparently I’m one of them yeah that’s true wow why is it only in California that they have giant people for beds you know what I’m saying yeah I mean all the words were there so I’ve managed to piece it together yeah what is that one lit thing on the on the chair down there oh it’s an item okay I just got to go down there cool just trying to remember if there’s something up here yeah sleeping diagonal on the bed is the best thing when you start but when you wake up diagonal yes you panic for a second wildly disoriented because you’re like where am I what time is it I don’t understand yes agreed agreed the worst is when you take a nap on a couch in somebody else’s house that’s like possibly the most disoriented place to wake up on but you’re like where am I this isn’t a bed I don’t know have you ever had a dream that was like so deep that like you were essentially a different person and then like when you wake up you have to like remind yourself of what your actual life is oh my god no probably it’s it’s happened to me a couple of times where like I’ll be like oh my god that’s right I’m Dan I’m Dan and my mom is Debbie and like all these things it’s so weird crap yeah it’s fucking it’s fucking deep yeah well that’s what happens when you do drugs deepest and then go right to bed well all right then yeah Oh using your taunt on yeah tontons cool what’s it called actually the ton of Tris the ton of Tris that’s it so you got it can’t slice that thing open and sleep inside to shield yourself from the cold it’s a taunt on joke everybody and I thought these things smell bad hey Oh God whoa oh it actually still him yeah his hand goes gosh right through that I know I’m cheating this but it’s very good so that’s why mm-hmm he’s very strong and he’s very fast you wouldn’t expect him to be that fast but he is really is pretty good it’s pretty good stuff oh yeah that’s the one hey wait stay away boy this guy’s way harder than I remembered him well he’s like a new one oh he’s a new version okay if I go back and fight the old ones you’ll be like oh okay child’s play pretty much yeah he’ll die in like two or three hits haha I like to imagine that’s what you yell every time you swing your weapon in this game every time like this fucking just an endless stream of ha ha in this dark ass world everything’s like out to kill you yes seeing like pestilence and death all around yeah and all the evil creatures from miles around can hear like why didn’t she take this more seriously guys an asshole oh no I didn’t want to know Arin and I took a little break and we both have something to say mine was that Susie purchased some Velveeta cheesy bowls yeah for us but something about the font they used really makes it look like it says cheesy bowels and really that that tickles me I was like yes one of those please did you make it no no I am you didn’t want you know oh whoa and what was the thing you were gonna say well I walked in here and you were like I love unironically terrible oh yeah just like you know it sounds mean to say it on the show now they don’t know what you’re talking about you know you know when you see I mean we talked about a Mickey Mouse capade you know when you see like a dude that’s just like trying really hard and it’s just not working out but they do it for like like 70 episodes like each episode has less views than the last oh no and it’s just like oh man I love that shit for some reason it’s super inspiring because it’s just like your description was like oh hey what are you doing here president just like hey what’s up everybody I’m a guy named Greg take on Greg plays we’re gonna look at a game called sassy frassy passy-passy no that’s not what it’s called fanny sandy fanny Oh mr.

president Santa you’re really you’re really getting my goat now wrong yes I am Greg gamer I’ve got it it’s like oh man see your sock puppet hand motion but whoa what was that yeah it’s just an evil lady up there shooting frenzy the arrows at me from all sides what a business yeah no way this is where what oh my god my fucking mind is getting blown up over here happening I know where this is cool I was hoping you did I didn’t realize this was led up to because I’m sure what happened in my first playthrough right is I like walked up here saw those guys and was like nope and just turned around and then just sort of like turned off this area in my mind mm-hmm but this is totally like a place that you come back on later oh those guys are really hard so fuck it I’m not okay great that’s crazy I didn’t know that so geez have you beaten this game yet no oh man it is a fucking endeavor yeah it’s daunting it’s daunting it’s daunting difficult it’s been a fun journey though it’s easy to understand in a weird like gross way I’ve I’ve sort of started to like appreciate the beauty of it oh this game is totally beautiful one of them I think this is one of the best games released in a long time really yeah like like top five for like the last ten years no shit yeah Wow I’d say so well maybe you say that ten years is a pretty long time I’d say five years long ass time Pac-man was in the last Tetris yeah really Tetris it’s Tetris I’m sorry it’s always trying to I feel like if it was Tetris it wouldn’t have become as popular a game frankly Tetris Tetris well because it’s like Tetra there’s four of them oh my god what you blew my fucking mind I never put that together yeah there’s there’s four blocks in each piece oh my god yeah man oh Jesus no no there’s there’s five and some no you’re right oh my god oh my god it’s hold on I’m cycling through them all in my mind it’s every configuration you could possibly make with four squares being adjacent to each other oh Jesus Christ you’re right oh my god yeah my brain is like that’s why that game is so fucking genius man Wow I mean just one of the reasons yeah that’s why they all fit together too I guess yeah there you go holy crap yeah dude um Matthew mitosis did a video on about about that Matthew mitosis yeah he’s I hope he recovers from that sounds really debilitating oh fuck this guy’s throwing rocks at me I don’t need that need that in my life yeah Matthew mitosis is one of my favorite video creators is he yeah never heard of him he’s um I’ve talked about him before but I I didn’t mention him no no I didn’t mention him by name that’s why I mentioned him as like the Irish guy that does video game things oh yeah yeah he’s super fucking smart and he’s the only thing this is getting like deep uh-huh deep it out bro anytime we’re on like episode 50 something of a playthrough we’re allowed to get deep yeah the the only thing about Matthew mitosis and it’s not him has nothing to do with him mm-hmm it’s that since he does stuff that’s similar to mine and mine is like sequel itis is sort of like like pretty popular right they get compared but like it’s never it’s never like this like level-headed like totally cool like well you know what like egoraptor does it like this and Matthew mitosis does like right of course it’s like this is way superior to sequel only you know like because because he’s like not as popular and like they’re better that’s the fucking like so it’s always the weirdest thing yeah but it’s like it’s because I love his stuff and I totally agree with that mentality yeah but it’s like I can’t read that I like I wanted to read the comments to see like what people were saying about like his analysis and stuff and then it’s just like fuck egoraptor and I’m like no I love these videos don’t poison them for me well I mean like that that happens all the time for us like you get compared to your friends yeah and it makes you feel weird like like even going back to to when to when John left the show like it was like everyone was like John’s better than Danny Danny’s better than John like relentlessly like for months and like both of us we talk about it we’d be like this feels weird man like it feels weird to read like your friend is better than you or you’re better than your friend yeah like neither one feels good no and it’s just like but people think like they’re defending your honor which is nice and it’s flattering but man like the the human side behind it is very awkward yeah it really is yeah I feel like there there could be a really interesting like book written on that was cute he was like I think I’ll just sit down here oh maybe I’ll just throw my arm up casual yeah looks like he’s got a big smile oh good go for a good snug right now yeah you want to snuggle up or like oh it’s too jiggly yeah it’s grossing me out it’s like one of those things were like he got he got hurt like his leg got hurt or something but he’s sort of like like fell down like coolly yeah you guys go on and then he tries to get up no just tickles man wait before we end this episode what were you gonna say about a book oh somebody should write a book on like on that sort of I feel like it’s new enough that there’s no literature on that that I’ve I’ve looked up a couple books on like internet culture and like how sort of like social media has changed how we interact with people right but they’re all I don’t feel like they really get to the heart of like what it feels like to be in that environment you know I mean because it’s a different feeling like if you if you by the way I’m just I’m running in circles because of this shit so I’m not gonna oh geez I’m not gonna go deep on acceptable reason that guy’s like fuck it I’m going cuz it’s like a different feeling right like you get you get bullied on the schoolyard oh god this game is just a game of nightmares I’m trying I want to try so uncomfortable to look at that I want to try to like lure I mean I only have one poison knife so I guess I’ll just come at me bro you like that oh oh yeah you woke him up oh whoa whoa whoa yeah a little too fast a little too fast for my liking so yeah you can just you can just be safe oh look at you yeah there’s plenty of enemies you can do this with honestly a glitch with yeah I mean fucking it works yeah hey dude after watching you like do it the hard way and getting massacred like 50 times in a row but that’s a damn I know yeah you know what do the wall thing you have my personal blessing I bet you a million bucks that like all these messages are saying shit like that too like like welcome to safe place or something yeah yeah are there any why why aren’t there any messages in this game I don’t know what the fuck man maybe we just got a weird server there was one back here right no and the game that place is like sup and the game I played at home at all these were like safe place please stay here like shit like that oh cool cool yeah cool the little ones come down yeah they will but I want to pick them off one by one right I just don’t have any oh I have a gun yeah pebbles that worked do I have any other I just have the cannon oh oh there you go that’s two there you go oh god that’s okay well yeah just Bruce Liam whoa okay Bruce Liam yeah oh get out of there that’s bad okay a little late for that I guess I want to pick up some poison knives that was five yeah this is much better by the way than getting attacked by five spiders I agree they are gross and awful no they’re super easy to fight I mean they’re like the villagers like right one at a time they’re just like whatever but once there’s like three then it’s like oh god yeah oh oh oh Jesus and are those like little eggs on the ground like spider eggs or those skulls are sure oh you got to think they’re just gross jelly things you know hmm as we like our spiders to oh look at you shifty sham all right I think there’s still one more up there was this just quicksilver bullets yeah fucker um there’s two up here right here you who won’t fall down unless I hit him really yeah Oh sleepy fella oh yeah yeah those are the two shit you were right oh nicely done sir thanks whoa it’s bro all right let me see if these guys have any more insight on this little firearm no okay I guess that guy was just fucking with me there was there was a message here in my game at home that said reeks of hidden path mm-hmm and I was like it doesn’t doesn’t reek of how do I get through there but I guess there’s no there’s no hidden path does reek of hidden path yeah like it is a bridge to a wall all right she’s dead okay nice oh I’m gonna search a body oh no the sinister bill I didn’t even get to fight another player oh that’s disappointing it’s really fun because they do the same shit that you do but they’re smarter than like CPU hunters yes and the average bear both both of those they’re smarter than all they’re just they’re just trying to get by you know get their pick in a basket oh god remember that Yogi Bear game we played there’s certain like sometimes oh shit what what’s up there’s a hunter down here I forgot fuck um go ahead with the well we just figured out what this episode is yeah I think I might kill him and well it’s so weird cocky statement dude it’s so weird it’s always the opposite every time I have an easy time with something at home here it’s the hardest thing in the planet right right right and then when I have a hard time at home and I’m like oh this guy’s impossible I just like walk up and slaughter him cuz you probably I mean probably cuz if it’s hard you died more and you played it more whereas if it’s easy you didn’t get much practice in because you oh yeah right yeah see I solved the thing that is sir sir wondrous moon sir oh that’s lovely what’s up buddy excuse me wanna hang out whoa maybe not like that yep that is in fact what I’m talking about that’s a hunter yeah whoa he’s not that strong oh he’s just kind of lame it’s like a normal dude yeah oh he’s got our cane I guess he can yeah I guess he can shoot those tapeworms at you my baby no not with that it’s not fun all right I may have spoken a little too quickly just a pinch about how easy yeah how does he keep hurting you I don’t know you’re definitely doing more damage to him though whoa whoa whoa whoa hey oh he’s doing the spider shimmy-sham tree yeah he’s really really shamming around oh well no no oh god these are fucking great sword bullshit on me oh geez nice come I kill him to just shoot him nice that is embarrassing for him yeah good for you what did I get Oh sedatives my favorite god you just take it and pass out now did I mention that the being in this world and fighting like this has turned me into a horrible drug addict mmm sedatives look at their little top hats I love their little top hats me too I wish I had the top hats but I don’t maybe I got it and I didn’t realize but what do you mean want that top hat for yourself yeah no for the little guys oh they’re not I don’t understand the little little you know the little guys the ones in your hunters dream you mean oh well these guys like these notes guys they pop up yeah but are they know what the hell fedora yeah oh my god is it just randomized what they have no no you said it so the person who set down this note his little guys oh I see I see okay remember item patrol is effective I don’t know what that means but whatever there’s the item down here sounds good my guys have little beach caps they little synchronized swimmer caps you remember that synchronized swimmer caps yeah you remember that oh yeah the red one yeah yeah although if I was in a pool and I saw them floating by I would not be okay with it what is that he’s just like whoa okay they’re just like these century men they’re not very like kind of doofy yeah they’re not super interesting they got they just punch you stop stop and he just like pushes you it it fucking blows my mind dude like they don’t they reuse enemies but they do it very sparingly mm-hmm the every area has new shit and it just feels like a new place right an interesting place fucking love it man I like it too 10 out of 10 10 out of 10 really 10 out of 10 you giving this game a 10 an AG n 10 for the for the amount of fun the Arin game news network hey what’s up everybody I’m Arin from the Arin game news network today we’re reviewing blood-borne for the ps4 that then one of my favorite games that’s come out this year probably the best game ever like the stamp comes in like yeah yeah absolutely but don’t take my word for it even though I’m gonna explain to you in my own words yeah even though you’ll my words are what you’ll be taking let’s hop right in to the review yeah and then and then it and then a review starts where I’m like using a different microphone with a different energy yeah that’s like my favorite game reviewer trope what’s like hey everybody I’m here blah blah blah blah and we’ll just hop right into the review here we go one is a game invented by the ancients in the 1785 like it’s just it’s such a different energy and feel yeah just like recorded on different weeks yeah with like different amphetamines in the body right right he just went through like some kind of recent physical trauma like doing the voiceover from like a hospital well here I am oh geez yeah I want some I once got really into this I get well it looked like they were like grabbing at him I once got really into this um you’ll never find him so I don’t feel bad talking about it okay but I once got into like this reviewer who like he was just kind of like low energy uh-huh and it was and it was really fun to watch him because he was actually pretty informative about like the things that he said sure um but like as his videos went on he it seemed like he just got like sicker and I invented like this horribly sad story oh no but I think he just like well he was just losing weight okay for some reason I was like oh man like dude is he gonna make it to the next video geez Arin yeah yeah cool he’s one of my favorites I haven’t seen these in a long time whoa whoa whoa okay I don’t I didn’t nice I I made it a point not to subscribe to him though cuz there was a point where I thought I would make like a parody series right like based on that concept and you didn’t want it to like yelling hit home if it was true yeah but it was it was a really funny idea in my opinion it is funny as long as he is okay yeah cuz if you left him off on like episode 32 like four years ago and it’s like episode 35 and that’s it you’re gonna be like yeah well that’s that’s partially why I didn’t make it was because like if there was truth to it I don’t want to be like oh man like I would have felt bad because it was funny to me because it was in my head right right it wasn’t it wasn’t true what’s the sickest you’ve ever been doing a game grumps episode I don’t know I can’t remember we’ve we’ve been lucky we’ve managed to stay fairly healthy these past two years yeah there have been moments though um fuck man I feel like it might have been like early John stuff oh really there was a point where we’re like we were both sick and we were both sick for like a really long time oh god that sucks and getting the fuck out of here yeah there’s no point to any of this wait there is like oh god no oh he’s he’s quick he’s making a fat slow quick way towards you um shit um shit oh fucking shit there you go are you serious perfect did he throw that no there’s another guy who’s like an archer oh oh oh here tell you what well I’ll give you some of my heavy syrupy liquid medicine very heavy in DNA made with love syrupy is one of those words that in whatever context could be like the most delicious thing and also the grossest thing you’ve ever had it’s like moist although moist is 100% gross no like I’m like a moist cake yeah or like a moist towelette mmm those yeah those are great those are great uses where is your mother no okay sorry what where is your mother dude if you ask where’s your mother to anything in this game the answer is not gonna be pretty what is up in that cage that’s a so oh god I’m sorry I asked yeah so you should have stayed in the cage it’s like a dog head crow yeah it’s like a crow that’s been spliced with a dog oh no I’d say the experiment was not a success you can imagine what the other one looks like yuck you’re about to see it yeah oh god whose idea was this yeah mad scientist oh that the grossest in Frankenstein dr.

Frankenstein hello my name is Frankenstein from looker I am I am responsible for many many many different flavors of peanut butter that’s what he does that’s all he does I’m like the Frankenstein of peanut butter yes Frankenstein I combine crunchy with creamy and well that’s it whoa oh he’s just lying there whatever minding his own business well kill me you know he would you know he would have killed me honestly looking at him I feel as though death was a mercy yeah pretty much geez oh they see a fire hydrant they’re like raise my leg what do I do I don’t know whether to shit on her piss on it yeah and there’s a statue do I shit on that like speaking like the bird half of them yeah yes this is one of the grosser you know corners of this game agree to disagree really I think it’s the prettiest do you like it it’s super beautiful I didn’t mean the environment I meant the fucking disgusting dr.

Moreau esque monstrosities that abound okay oh shit was I not lighting this lantern down here man I’m an idiot Arin what I don’t know I just wanted to try to sound like I was coming down in you but when in fact I don’t even know what I’m talking about this one right here oh cool that’s not that’s not is it lit looks pretty lit that light looks purpley oh it is not well well then that would have saved me a whole lot of time that’s fine noted all right cool so I got that taken care of we are down to go back the fuck up and clown I’m wondering though like well first of all I’m gonna need some more blood vials cuz Lord knows two is not gonna be enough to fight a boss to probably won’t get be enough for you to like talk to the doll and probably like stumble on the way up the stairs all right you know what yeah use that lamp use that lamp to your advantage go back to the dream you know what I’m gonna do what’s that I’m gonna leave this area okay for a little bit okay because there’s some other shit I can do to actually where does this go oh there you go there’s my answer great that boss is hard okay and there’s an area that I’ve beaten in the other game that is pretty interesting for show dance thriller style in the cage I can’t I can’t that one that was the first song that we got in trouble for is that right yeah but it’s so good I know you just it just makes you want to sang it yeah just makes you want to reach out and touch faith it is so killer I won’t I won’t yeah you can’t it’s impossible I just like whoever comes down on this I’ll kill her and yeah but only if it’s a girl otherwise that pronoun wouldn’t have worked no dancing dancing dancing dancing yeah they don’t sing dick the word dancing when they dance no I remembering that wrong I thought that was an intrinsic part of dancing dude no do you ever not have enough money to buy 20 blood vials yeah like right now shit are they super crazy expensive kind of damn sometimes that’s not good they can be you use a lot I know they’re very useful but the thing is I’ve got this so that’ll buy me like a couple couple of extra ones oh you can convert your stuff into echoes yeah you get like these little items that are basically like holdable echoes excellent you never really like you’d lose them if you die that’s very cool so here’s what I’m gonna do okay I’m gonna go to another area entirely yep it’s actually a really cool area so don’t worry um there was no doubt in my mind I sort of got a little ahead of myself by going the way that I went that way you’re dying so much yeah so if you if yeah so if you if you remember mm-hmm in I don’t know I want to say like 10 episodes ago or so oh sure there was a little secret area I went to and then dropped down and then I got a key from like a corpse that was in like a cage kind of area like whether a lot of corpses in this game was it the one that was slumped in the chair and it had like a mummified weird cage thing on its head yeah that was a portal guy wait he’s like sitting on a throne at the end of the room oh no no no not that one but it’s similar similar yeah okay so I took a key off of that guy okay so I’m about to go where I can deposit that key oh oh geez oh boy you know he started off really strong but once he lost track of where you were and just kept a cranking wait did she move yeah hang on a second and I don’t think I’ve ever been here yeah I haven’t so cool whoa get some items so this is going to lead me to the upper Cathedral Ward okay which is a quaint little area this is lovely I can’t lie this is a lovely view oh hey skither oh no no not my friend oh now he’s down there too far can I can I whoa can I sure you can oh geez oh oh it stings oh oh that is smarts that is smarts I haven’t been down here before I don’t think ever neat is there like another way to whoa where am I cool this is pretty I guess I’ll just keep going so this is very like nightmare before Christmas that’s the one I like that guy he’s a good composer he’s all right I started listening to some ongoing go yeah and uh pretty good Brian got me listening to them they aren’t good they’re there they’re definitely all right they’re different yeah they’re different than you’d expect a band fronted by Danny Elfman to be yeah that is very accurate wait is that a fall forever or is that a ground mmm can’t can’t quite tell who looks that’s a thing close to forever II I’m gonna I’m gonna dip on down I’m gonna do it yeah what that’s it fucking madman’s knowledge yeah you got it come on come on now with your shit balls what is madman’s knowledge it just gives me an insight it’s not okay what do you have to say run and take a step forward huh okay guess just go for it run and take a step forward do I have to jump on that one or I think he’s saying take a running start and then leap as far as you can I don’t know if I can make it though would a note lie to you uh-huh Arin it’s a note next to a corpse I think you can trust oh man I don’t oh all right well what choice do you have yeah I guess you’re right all right here we go there you go okay yeah that was helpful um actually jumping would probably hurt me more tree piece with care is there a boss down here mmm take a step forward I don’t like the I know how that sounds starting to not trust these notes as much as perhaps I should all right let me uh let me try to get down there safely oh well that’s yeah that looks comfortable just tumbling what the what is that thing time for sneak attacks but remember stealth okay okay oh it’s just a normal little guy oh is it wait wait I don’t know I don’t know about the normality of this day cool okay sweet well he’s different oh he’s different he is different I don’t know I don’t know him oh I don’t know yeah no he’s he’s new he’s got he’s got horns and stuff okay I’m scared I’ve never been down here before damn oh it is creepy oh all right I guess he’s a lot easier when you stab him in the back like most things wait where am I am I am I in a place that I’ve been before now God this fucking game oh I haven’t been here got some fucking items whoa crow crow chill out crow yeah chill out girl cool god the fucking nooks and crannies this game is like the world’s most disgusting English muffin but it absorbs butter like a dream yeah oh can’t even don’t even get me started yeah all these enemies are super weak so I think I’m in an area that I’ve been before whoa what is this it is all thanks to the unseen all right thanks yeah thank God yeah thanks unseen you’re the best where am I going I’m scared I don’t know it who even fucking knows whoa whoa I’m in the Cathedral Ward right now what area is that good what area am I of it in what it’s amazing how this has to be episode 40 something of Bloodborne and yet we’re still totally confounded about where we’re where we are and where we’re going oh I know where I am never mind this brought me back to an area that I don’t really need to be in right now great this what is that crouching fellow it’s like the guy that sucks your brains out is it yes yeah he’s like all twitchy oh yeah so ah fuck oh he Arin oh he’s actually really easy he’s he sees you he sees you like as you’re slicing up his corpse like after I’ve killed him oh good times all right I got to get back to a fucking lantern cuz man fuck this joint yeah like a like a like a blunt you know what I’m saying you don’t fuck those Arin you smoked them no I mean like yeah do you know what a blunt is there no I don’t do you not know what yes a blunt is a is a marriage wanna but what kind like how is it presented and prepared rolled in paper close what kind of paper uh you’re getting your edumacation so when next time when we’re on the streets and someone asks you a bunch of drug facts and they’re like are you cool are you a fucking narc you won’t be like I know I love marijuana cigarettes you know but wouldn’t it be more genuine if I was just like dude I don’t I don’t know I don’t smoke maybe it would be maybe it would be don’t go chasing waterfalls day I won’t I’ll stick to the rivers and lakes that I’m used to and if you if you got to have it your way or you’re gonna get nothing at all look and I don’t nor do I want any scrubs scrub is the guy that can’t get no love for me look at you doing the crossover situation hanging out the passenger side of the best friends ride trying to holler at me I think I would be more impressed if you like if you knew the lyrics to like fucking b-side of the album you know like there is a song on there called let’s do it again which is a that’s a good lovemaking song let’s do it again yeah something something something I can’t remember my sister used to have that oh and you know your TLC yeah and forwards row tomatoes lettuce and cheese yeah my favorite it stands for right oh god everything’s cool everything’s fine with me poor Lisa lettuce Lopez wait what was it TLC because of their names yeah t-baz left eye and chili Arin I didn’t I just thought it was like tender loving care yeah or the learning channel it’s not it’s definitely not the learning channel where are we right now I’m climbing well there’s a tree okay so we do have that going for us I’m climbing up this tower so that I can get up to the upper Cathedral Ward okay it’s basically like a world above where I just was and why are the giant gross things that like don’t really move too much not here anymore oh they’re here oh they’re just in a different part of the city yeah like I might be able to see one from here no they’re in this part of the city okay I just I don’t think there are many up here right there should be one like down there somewhere it’s okay I trust you they’re gross yeah they’re cool man they are cool I did they’re such a cool idea mark actually spoiled it for me oh but like it was just as cool when I like got it secret waits ahead what really where’s there a secret um can you I don’t want no scrubs I know there’s no stop trying to holla to me wait you know it has like 20 29 appraisals secret waits ahead yeah so it means there’s a secret right around here but I don’t I don’t see no secret not in the coffin there’s no ladder no you can’t no way to get to it what the hell what the fuck what the fuck hell what the hell meanwhile everyone at home who knows is screaming at their monitors right now I don’t know I don’t know either I guess I’ll oh there’s a little thing right here that’s it really that’s the secret this guy and the cosmos are one thank you well oh they are if you go high enough if you wear a wheelchair got it there he is are you friendly sir but but no another one he shoots fire oh there’s a guy right here whoa you’re dead there’s a fucking guy right here and he shoots fire oh yeah he does Wow and how neat boy howdy he does boy they’re gross with their weird fucking crow masks did it does he have a crow mask they’ve got something yeah yeah whoa you didn’t notice that no that’s fucking cool the first thing I noticed oh what a badass yeah they’ve sorry I killed him should ask them where he got it sir where do you shop I got it from the Renaissance pleasure fair time for rolling yeah oh this room is your dream oh yay oh god oh don’t stop so cathartic oh this is one of those moments where you’re like I just wish it was forever okay wait was there something here Oh time for rolling of course it’s time for rolling alright so this is the door that’s open by that key I just got okay so now I’m in the upper Cathedral we made it the choir you’ve earned a trophy this is my little jelly Bay oh hey girl but he’s gonna die yeah he is very gelatinous oh it’s gross oh I’m gonna bark it was so disgusting oh there’s plenty more where that came from I’m sure my little another little jelly Bay there’s a couple of them up here but then there’s these motherfuckers right here whoa they think they’re so they are ominous this game is such good atmosphere I know hello do you need a guide along the wilderness trap and then hook ow damn good reach bam yo dad son what did he shoot something purple at you yeah he shoots like spirits out of his life gross or arcane or whatever you want to call it yeah whatever it is he’s got an exploding turn disgusting all right you dead Oh God that is very strong bang what’s up little jelly Bay yeah you wanna you want to suckle my face you’ve had a nice long life time to end it oh there’s there’s plenty more jelly Bays where this came from oh god I hate the way they squirm around is one of many ew ew ew because if you um well first of all because they have suction cups on their face I feel like Carl from aqua team like all right I am here at the next lantern oh you did it so this begins our journey into the upper Cathedral Ward yeah should I or should I not return to hunters dream tell me the things well yeah no no okay sorry I was wrong jump out the window hey dude that’s a nice story whoa these guys are kind of hard hit their eyes like the blue eyes like moving in the dark like are really cool the way it leaves trails and stuff they glow with the blue of my 1998 Yaris back in back in um back in my college days we used to smoke pot and then like the raver kids that would do ecstasy would come in and they would like do like a crazy raver light show for us where they were holding like the little like LED lights and doing crazy things with them yeah and so like and we’d we’d just be stoned so they’d look amazing and then they would be on E so they had crazy holes in their brains anyway look at that chandelier every time I do it makes me cheer oh god oh god somebody go grab me a beer yeah it’s can they get through that doorway no that’s it’s a good way that’s awesome because these guys are like kind of easy but when they gang up on you you’re fucked but you can just you can just cheat them Wow you just cheat them yeah they’re hey they’re trying to fuck you don’t you ever try to fuck me like can’t ropes that’s not he doesn’t say that in Scarface but you know what I mean are you sure I’m pretty sure what if there’s like just that just that end part I’ve always wanted to create a movie that like you know like 20 years down the line mm-hmm someone’s like oh right that was a movie about a shark in its jaws but everyone like thinks it’s like oh it’s this movie about whatever is oh the dream within a dream or some shit like that I don’t know but then it’s like oh no this is actually a movie about um living in like those conspiracy theories about how like The Shining was about the moon landing right exactly yeah I want to make a controversial movie like that oh this movie was about how Obama was elected but it’s it’s like a majority of the 16 year old girl sure that’s what the movies actually about yeah but then people are like oh no this is actually an Obama movie that’s um that yeah let’s quit Game Grumps and just make that yeah so finally 20 years from now in 2035 we can be appreciated yeah can we call it Obama Rama obviously what else would we call it yeah Arin I’m not gonna fucking get involved in this huge two-decade documentary project if you’re gonna ask stupid questions of course it’s called Obama Rama god I don’t even understand how a place like Starbucks is so fucking prevalent people love it I know yeah it’s a delicacy in some countries is it really I guess it’s a delicacy well like they I mean in the sense that they have coffee time like they sit down and they place little cubes of things oh that’s not good that’s not good I saw a second one having two after you is not a fun time fucking outie I’m outie five thou oh god look at this squid face monstrosity you can use that one Chad crunk crumb grow older Kroger is it is it grocery store oh yeah did you see this is a long time ago but did you ever see cash and carry the Tupper Tupperware remix party did a child Kroger or awareness party and it’s just Chad Kroger but he’s balding what yeah that’s his character that’s that’s a character they created child Kroger who Tupperware remix party yeah they just put him on their posters and stuff I love them more every day well I really I guess I can appreciate how they do things in Canada it is a little unsettling to see the fucking echoes of the things that die or the people that died before you well that sounds like your problem fuck you okay I’m just alright no need to be a salty Samantha I’m sorry I didn’t mean it oh hi yeah no you’re not waving to me this is my favorite part make contact um are you ready for some fucking shit hold on yeah should we save it for next time on gang rub sir no no okay do it right now all right I’m gonna hang out with my friend he’s a pretty ballerina oh geez I thought this was the front of him oh oh oh oh oh oh making contact near far wherever you are I believe that my heart will go on what kind of pose is this it’s my favorite pose it’s real I’m gonna throw up so check this out yeah like your character if you wait there long enough he’ll get bored oh whoops yeah I don’t think you can change the camera angle either oh gotcha yeah okay let me try it again okay and then just just let it sit yeah so you hold the pose and then like after a while he’s just like well maybe maybe maybe now it’s um yeah the lactic acid begins to build up maybe now it’s three o’clock instead of nine o’clock yeah starts to get a little fucking uncomfortable come on you can do it you can do it do it you can do it don’t make a fucking splicing footage from the last oh we’re gonna have to do that aren’t we no no she’s gonna do it I swear this is uh this is not worth wasting a tenth of the episode huh I will it changes arms fucking spoiler alert Kevin put in the footage yeah okay that’s crazy all right let’s do this um is there an item over here I don’t remember probably not because I got make contact which is the greatest item in all of blood-borne I can tell don’t you fucking forget it don’t I love there’s a lot of dead people in here because they didn’t kill these guys first and they get them out of the way you know yeah it’s a good point oh I got the key so I can just go down there I’m running from a fart hmm but it’s following me cuz it’s on my pants and underwear yeah isn’t that weird how like no matter how much you try to walk off a fart as soon as you stop you know that that shit is caught up there the cloud just keeps like yeah spreading outward hey remember me I’m that fart you had earlier can’t get rid of me that easily oh no my friend it’s like that cranberry song you have to let it linger do you have to yes you have to do you have to you have to let it linger and like characters from blood-borne come up and they’re like we’re from the cranberry song zombie and you’re just like well we’re all having a cranberries kind of day are we and then they’re like and then dr.

Hoffman comes in like cranberries and then they’re like do you want to know a couple of vowels yeah that’s it it’s always the vocal break with her like zombie zombie I wish I could do I wish I was like good at something like that like I’m trying to learn how to sing right and like I want to I’m gonna learn how to talk right right after I learn how to sing right I meant right isn’t like right you know okay oh got it that sing like correctly sure sure totally yeah I totally got that um I want to wait there’s been an item here this whole time oh it’s the beckoning bill nice what kind of idiom I mmm the best kind um so I’m sure I’m sure that just like causes like a fucking firestorm of like how long do you think it was there for the entire game are you yeah that like right when you get the hunter stream for the first time I just haven’t I didn’t think I would ever summon anybody you’re my hero ever thought about it oh god Oh brain baby I hate you more than ever what’s wrong with him Bob Bob Bob my long arms are made especially for hugging uh you got a mushroom should like deflate or something it just goes around the room like oh my god if that fucking happened need a little levity here in blood-borne all right yes I’m about to fight a boss who really yes the last time I beat him I exploited him okay um I you know I feel bad cuz I feel like I’ve said that on like a lot of enemies and bosses it’s fine but like I didn’t look it up or anything I just stumbled upon them it’s a lot of like Venus fly traps yeah it’s like where the mushroom people grow from oh yeah so here we go ah the celestial emissary sounds nice actually nope never mind it’s a bunch of these gross fucking blobby bitches yeah they’re cool oh they got their own shit to worry about you know how this oh die die this is vile die die we’ve got wait where who you the one that doesn’t have a health bar oh but now wait which one things are getting a little dicey let me see if I can fucking sweep around this motherfucker boy they are they are so unsettling they’re like goofy early like no they’re there oh god oh no no man all right don’t go into the mushroom patch all right so this motherfucker yeah I think the stairs are a better bet no but check this out now he’ll like come over this way mm-hmm maybe oh no I think I knocked him off and then he was stuck there you know I don’t think he’s that difficult I don’t think he is either I think you just got to not get surrounded okay yeah it’s okay buddy it’s okay it’s okay everything’s fine okay don’t worry you should like it oh no no psych you ouch thank you mama said psych you okay yeah okay so here I can I can like I can like push him off maybe maybe maybe not maybe not how do you get this guy I just got to hit him I don’t know he’s oh no he’s doing the thing he’s doing the thing he’s got it he does the thing yeah I’m not like it oh god he’s doing the things he looks awesome now wow what a turnaround is he gonna come down yeah fuck yeah he’s gonna come down come on now those little buddies are gonna come with him oh yeah I can just there we go this is what I wanted to do okay so now Oh God yeah so now if I go around here he’s gonna try to come at me bro whoa or maybe he’s not all right yet another nerve-wracking fucking boss battle they all are dude I know okay this guy’s awkward to fight yeah I got him though I got him you have died boys got a lot of shroom buddies yeah not digging the shroom buddies yeah you got to clear him out oh don’t do it don’t do it don’t shoot it at me don’t shoot it oh so he’s just that from now on huh yeah I think so okay go get him don’t don’t don’t please don’t please don’t I’m hiding behind the thing so you don’t nice smart tuck and run baby oh I know what happened there yeah he just shot you like point-blank with that shit yeah I think I’m gonna beat him yeah do you want do you want to do it wait till you’re on camera I can’t pause it okay I don’t know my own strength Arin was like man I don’t have any blood vials on me maybe I’ll just play this guy off camera and get my bearings about me and then you just fucking wrecked him Jesus man when there’s like no there’s like no stakes yeah okay fine whatever so check this out I’m trying to figure out very nice trying to figure out if that means like you’re just amazing this time or just like an indication of how badly fucking sucked last time oh it’s just the balls you suck let’s just go to the first one that’s a dr.

Seuss poem that never really made it out there oh the balls you’ll suck true that yo true that I heard that one before the dr.

Seuss Wikipedia article it was written by dr.

Seuss himself he said my name is Seuss never the end he never said that guys dad fucking whoa whoa whoa easy yeah it’s like an EDM concert he does some weird fucking like I don’t know if I like that effect he does it for like 10 minutes straight and everyone’s like yeah EDM is one of the biggest like hit or miss types of music for me yeah chip tune also like so much of it is like beyond amazingly awesome and some of it is just like just just the the hideous most blood-curdling garbage oh geez boy they really no rest for the weary I think perhaps you’ll need more than one blood vial nah 40,000 dude you have 40,000 echoes shit I need to cash that shit in cash that you’re right I was just there and I just fucking flubbed my opportunity I’m gonna steal some of these yeah 20 to be exact and then I’m gonna buy some other fucking blood vials I’m gonna steal some of he’s like you just borrowed I just sold my blood vial later in this god damn it oh I’m so stupid I bought them and sold them and now I have less god I wish I wish sometimes I would stop being so dumb it really bothers me it’s the first time I fucking cuz I beat that mushroom boss and then I was like yay progress and I like came down this escalator they yay yeah I literally just fought a boss maybe it’s a statue no it’s totally friendly yeah that’s guy it’s a friendly guy yeah Wow the altar of despair great god this looks like a fucking heavy metal album cover all right so if if if I’m staying the Lorca correctly and which I’m probably not because this lore is super dense and doesn’t have isn’t really presented in this game right so this is like basically there’s like there’s sort of like an alien subplot right now oh shit and they present it as like mythical as possible right it’s like people from the moon or sort of like people from the sky or like moonlight or some shit like that get out of here dude and that’s what those like little mushroom people are I guess oh like pod people from fucking Mars dude they look like the Mars attacks creatures I think I might have said that before oh yeah and this is like the Queen oh shat it looks the celestial emissary wasn’t the fucking king of them no this this is like the is it about to be like um I’ll let you be the judge of that yeah that sounds like a yes to me god this thing yes it’s got its back to me how would you be able to tell yeah okay here we go oh oh it didn’t like that it didn’t like it didn’t know no oh god that thing looks as fucking disgusting as that you’re uh your two-ton gummy bear and just as gelatinous oh god oh it’s so vile no no no not the dash attack can you beat this thing yeah yeah oh this is not nearly as hot as I thought I’m um I’m pretty high level so I think I could probably pull it off but when I beat it at home this was actually the first boss that I bought that if I beat with help I had somebody else in my game and played it oh I say yeah so oh boy here we go do you oh boy yeah so the oh god man it’s the range you want to stay like right up on her ass and track well you can call it that nothing new there but then like this this part actually isn’t too hard but then she starts shooting like these beams at you that like kill you in one hit what yeah oh no that’s the tough part that’s like the beams the fucking things on the gross the beams on the things on the fucking walls the giant dudes shoot at you whoa no they’re actually more like the um the mushroom people beams don’t know if you’ve seen I believe I did actually you got your ass beat by them pretty pretty thoroughly yeah okay so this now she’s down so I can I can’t oh okay I could have got a visceral attack on whoa how would those wings even function they’re like full of holes hmm many questions if I shake this tree branch enough perhaps I will raise into the air oh shit I can fucking oh well on her gee oh geez I mean you’re doing damage yeah I actually might she’s a third of the way down whoa stop barfing on me gross she’s jumping she’s jumping it’s okay ow ow she’s no no stop that’s a bad daughter of the bad bad daughter of cosmos every at us everybody at us I’m gonna pull paper this oh gosh whoa don’t barf on me oh yeah she grabs your stomach right beforehand everything’s fine if it is what I do well friends everybody’s cool we’re all daughters most fucking thing I can feel the cosmos through my body yeah I’m a daughter of the cosmos you’re a daughter of the cosmos it’s gross so good this is a good spot to whale on her yeah continue to continue the whaling okay I think she’s doing her I think she’s doing it oh don’t don’t don’t do the thing doing it okay we’re good we’re fine everything’s fine oh she has a couple like sparklies God where is her face she’s got two eyes you see her green eyes I see the eyes yeah everything else is a little bit of a mystery fucking alien dude thanks I guess so that’s what happens but where’s the mouth with the mouth with the movie I’m sorry shit shit oh you it kills you in one hit bullshit that’s brutal that’s what you want to watch out for yeah I see that that’s the one spot you’re not gonna fight every at us no because here’s the thing right I don’t hard and she keeps whooping your ass yes I mean yeah it’s okay no that’s the reason I’d quit so this is the boss that I missed oh yeah I remember this guy electro wolf yeah he’s uh he fucked you up yeah well I totally wasn’t ready for him but now I can probably well yeah I won’t yeah but basically before I fight him I wanted to say my favorite one my favorite move is like the build-up the on laughing on the plane huh where it’s like it’s like and then you’re just like here comes oh man good thing you said here it comes cuz Kevin just got his fucking headphone wearing ears blown out it’s okay it was a dynamics process version of the audio sorry Kev baby everything is the same volume okay all right this guy’s been really yeah you can take him out oh fuck yeah he’s so good for whatever reason like it says dark darkbeast parl very clearly whoo that thing’s ugly but for some reason I read it as Rand Paul like Wow presidential candidate Rand Paul he really he looks different oh my god internet the internet jokesters the game grumps have made a very topical job political Joe one of the very first they’ve ever made on the show about Ron Paul his true form really ha ha ha ha ha ha no Ron Paul’s his dad I’m talking about Rand Paul Rand Paul Rand Paul’s his son who’s also a politician I had no idea yeah you just killed him you just killed his electro wolf beast form well whatever man yeah stop being so fucking shocking it’s okay I’m not crazy but oh nicely done yeah how you like that I’m not crazy about his politics anyway not crazy about his power old takes our looks his politics see what I there you go his Ron Paul’s oh god why are we alive still dude you like Wow I was like night and day from the first well that was not me that was just I would got stronger right aim right it was not fucking skill you’ve been doing some hot eat a poo poo lady push-ups yeah bro yo eat a poo poo is not gonna not gonna not gonna sacrifice a little bit of ironically eat a poo poo is not gonna take any crap I don’t remember where this oh this is that yeah this is the entrance to Old Yarnham okay and there’s two werewolves over here damn you’ve really got this place down sup werewolves actually prefer like answers oh why do I have to be so specific I killed the yeah I did the blood-starved beast I’m an undead maggot eaten wolf monster but I’m a sucker for semantics and that’s alliteration folks but I bet I summoned a friend to fight with me no way Batman one three five seven nine two four six eight thank you cooperator he’s the cooperator come with me and we will fight together Batman hello this can happen hello I need to do it I need to do a thing with him I need to god damn it we’ll just go I was trying to do a pose and it wasn’t working he’s an actual person he’s gonna fight with me that’s awesome yeah he is awesome let’s go you cone-headed monkey bastard I gotta get my shit out well yeah I mean fuck don’t just run in there shit first Jesus we’re fucked I just going in there fucking balls of blazing man hold on I gotta get my shit back I’m coming back wow he’s really kicking its ass right now oh yeah you’re okay I’m working together you and me oh god oh geez actually Batman he’s almost dead get your shit together Batman I wonder what happened to the first 13 million we’re gonna do it we’re gonna do we’re gonna beat every at us together okay it’s gonna be great we’re gonna have so much fun aha oh wow and it doesn’t like effect like how many echoes you get or anything oh man he’s just a helper bro that’s awesome yeah why that why God’s name have we not been doing this because I don’t know it’s like a it’s like a pride thing okay fair enough boy she looks really gross oh geez she looks like Evie squid sushi when she like rears up under legs yeah it’s pronounced Abby is it really yeah bro I learned something oh like every test oh my god you’re so right yeah gross shrimp daughter of the cosmos it all makes sense hold on yeah you’d be careful she’s doing her Jimmy jams oh no she’s just doing that thing whatever the fuck that is yeah watch out here goes here comes doing it okay she did it we’re all good she only do that once yeah she’ll do it again if I let her right but she’s close she’s getting close mm-hmm getting close to the death time yeah and she’s stronger now so that’s fun so that’s cool Oh chill out look out Batman Batman watch your back watch your back man I’m the squid killer this Japanese restaurant deserves I got a heel I got a he’ll know he’ll he’ll he’ll he’ll he’ll everything’s cool everything’s fine we’re all fine we’re all friends we’re all right she’s doing it she’s doing it oh she’s doing it to my friend Batman oh we’re fine okay we’re God Batman you saved my fucking life good fucking dodging Batman Batman’s the boy that really helps oh my god bring it home baby yeah Batman you are my Savior you’re my Savior Batman you’re my Savior hold on let me pose for you let me pose for you fucking no I don’t just pose fucking pick you this yes thank you Batman do you remember that um who’s Emma what’s it do you remember that fucking the what is it called poorly executed sentence I’ve ever heard do you remember that oh who’s the mmm do you remember the oh you remember the pickles you remember the it was the what the fuck is it called a college it was like a professor area yes I do with the library yes yeah I guess I was it a library it was I believe this is where you get there from I think oh oh there’s a wall of dead mummies yeah they’re dead mummies I’ve got a cage on my head mama didn’t want me licking or scratching my balls it’s not it’s not what it’s for that’s what it’s for for dogs that’s true there’s a motherfucking thing here I could oh I didn’t even light it that’s why I wasn’t there embarrassing oh my god I’m such a fucking idiot mmm well I bet the comments on that episode are all like and as they should be yeah yeah oh it’s got a head it’s got a human head he’s a he’s a he’s an asshole hey really yeah do you want to beg for life sure yeah I’ll add that to my hotbar hey there we go I’m gonna instead of shake off cape or yeah I’m gonna instead of shake off cape wait hold on I gotta set it on fuck all right it’s instead of shake off cape it’s gonna be beg for life there you go no no spider friend no please not the spider god damn it so this guy’s an asshole really um you can kill him like he’s super easy to kill mm-hmm you don’t want to kill him well he gives you shit later okay he also tries to screw you over later really yeah um it’s complicated he’s not trustworthy of course I think ill of you not at all no oh shit whoops sorry that looked like a lot of information yeah appreciate what I just said to you appreciate it all right fine all right do you want me to do you want to beg for life oh yeah yeah we’re total buds yeah hang out it’s the the guy with the gross Star Trek head in there oh cool did you just break the mic off of it no it’s not broken wow everything came apart sorry I don’t that might have sounded terrible I don’t know I just I hit it with my fucking dumb gross forehead oh man sorry hold on let me try to fix this you gave me a sweet fucking upgrade okay hello testing one two okay you’re good you’re good we’re good I’ve never seen like so many parts of anything fall apart like that microphone just suddenly crumbled into eight pieces oh it’s okay dude I died I don’t think any less of you I totally don’t really not even for a second yeah no nope nope nope that’s not one iota less stupid bullshit mistake that should be given is you know it’s cool for me whoa it’s the coolest fuck is that shit oh sweet a lamp is that another like dude trying to kill me or no okay it’s like my spider sit my blood-borne senses tingling Oh did Timmy fall down the well yeah great back home I should just just run back home and get out of here all of this sounds a lot like barking I am having trouble deciphering you’re trying to say cuz you know you’re a fucking dog yeah did Timmy fall down the well you want a treat oh you want a treat yeah whoa oh hey you somebody’s in a hurry fuck oh it’s a hunter yeah it is a hunter holy shit is it whoa whoa this player is it no no well you’re way stronger than he is that Jesus well yeah goodbye it’s like right at the moment where he’s like I should not have run incredibly fast at the person yeah this is not a that’s not a player damn so in this area players will start like attacking me really like real players why I don’t know if people are still playing this game but I guess Batman helped me so well there’s another dude yeah oh my god shit sup oh god yeah Batman was cool as shit oh my god why am I so strong dude you’ve been kicking ass and occasionally taking names I think it’s because of fucking every at us oh sure she blessed me with her her her sweet BAPs yeah her cosmos base BAPs her eby goodness mmm space BAPs anti gravity BAPs ooh bounce physics ooh fading lake that sounds nice that’s what the fuck did you see that what happened there was like a glitch or something really yeah it looked like a person was there and then it wasn’t whoa I missed it maybe you’re just spooked cuz you got attacked by hunters twice in a row maybe it was like a fight club thing it was like you know yeah like a single frame yeah sure all right um so this is a this is a swamp of poison gas and grossness uh-huh and those are like vagina penis monsters oh there’s another screen beast oh I’m gonna get him wait hang on before you do and your poison fucking poison fuck I told you I warned you I got some antidote okay I’m a little cheesed right now I’ll tell you that what what kind of cheese I’m just Gorgonzola oh I would have said Brie I’m Brie is great but you see so this lady right here okay super easy to kill right but she’s she’s ringing a bell that’ll summon other players right and I’ve sort of been running around because we had a little tiny little break between the last episode and I’ve been trying to get somebody to fucking show up in my game so I can fight them but nobody’s gonna nobody’s coming really so I think I’m just gonna take her out and oh god the penis monsters are up here now are they penis monster their penis vagina monsters oh see they shoot out like vagina goo oh no but they’re long at like penises it’s called coo Arin geez I thought you’d be a little more scientific I’m sorry I’m sorry we’re all we’re not all gynovaginologists gynovaginologists yeah ladies please fear not I’m a gynovan vagina yeah you know a doctor a gynecologist and a urologist walk into a bar uh-huh they start discussing their trades with each other and they get and then they that’s it they get drinks boy and you just fucking nailed it you brought it home you put it on the shelf and you you have a trophy case you have a trophy case of great jokes first of all thank you for that great compliment no problem completely sarcastic it was not second of all this scurrying beast is dead third of all there’s a giant that’s gonna throw a rock at oh there sure is fourth of all yep I guess that’s it yeah I gotta kill that giant you will yeah I mean well damn dude yeah these guys suck dude they fucking co-work with each other too oh there’s another screen beast and now I’ve fallen let him go let him go no worry about the giant oh I never let him go he’s my little guy he’s my special friend oh god yeah he’s dead oh these things are yeah the ones that always die in a cash lien yeah hey so I was talking to Frank earlier sometimes they get a little smashy that guy’s hilarious oh my god he’s so funny he told us one joke it was it was about it was about a doll on a rocking horse you know I can’t tell like yeah this fucking guy is gonna die yep that was a rye mm-hmm oh sweet oh Jesus I’m running out of Thai mm-hmm I like the feel of sly mm-hmm I like big but I cannot lie no I was kind of hoping you just leave it at butts oh it’s trying to break the rhyme scheme why would you break the rhyme scheme with something that is so obviously ends with the was that the joke yes yes it was as a matter of fact Arin thank you it just dawned on you like wait a minute like a Kaiser so same moment well it was it was twofold it was that and then it was also like right after I said it I realized like how kind of mean it sounded like oh man I didn’t mean for it to be mean at all I was just joking no I mean gosh dude like after all we’ve said to each other over the past two years like you’d have to know that like at this point my god like fucking the hell was I saying oh yeah we don’t take shit seriously we have to know like I totally blanked out because I’ve been growing a beard at like every every 15 seconds like my brain blanks out just to be replaced by the thought of my beard itches and then it goes back to the thought pattern from before dude you really gotta like there are specific kind of people that can have a beard yeah you have to power through it and I’m never willing to mine is out of necessity for two reasons one I don’t have a chin you have a beautiful chin well thank you so much that’s so nice of you to say but I don’t believe you and you’re a liar okay number two I have a scar on my lip that I have to cover up with my mustache do you really yes when did this happen when I barfed at mag fest maybe someday I’ll show you my scar you barfed yourself of like you barfed yourself and your face exploded it’s what’s the time that I slammed my face on the toilet when oh no I don’t remember that must have been a violent bar it was well the toilet seat like fell back down oh I was like no like pushing my face forward to projectile vomit Oh Arin and it was and it was barfing blood and you poor sweet angel a ninja Brian got sick and mag fest and has had a recurring like terrible virus every like couple of months since then once yeah and thinks it’s like some sort of like horrible mag fest thing that’s never going away holy shit yeah so I don’t know we shouldn’t go to mag fest this year yeah I mean maybe find a new convention yeah for the sole reason of that like okay we die every time we go yeah it for some reason it’s it’s pretty consistent every year at least like three of us have gotten sick yeah like really serious maladies too and it’s just kind of like I don’t know if we can afford to get sick again you know I like don’t get us wrong mag fest goers we fucking love you and the panels are awesome and the signings are the best and fun place to be yeah yeah it’s super rad but my god like someone’s gonna die Oh God Oh fuck is going this is probably fine right cutscenes are good this is oh I never saw this because okay eta it’s my little spider friend miss miss poopoo Oh God oh dude yeah he’s a dick did he fucking like human face spider head guy yeah just betrayed you yeah totally he just pushed me into the poison ground Oh what yeah he’s a dick face is he gonna fucking oh he is gonna do that what a douchebag yeah um I think um but he helps you to know what he gave me shit so yeah he helped me I don’t understand what his motivations are his motivation is that he’s a fucking asshole okay fair enough um but basically and your poison I I think at that point shit I think the fuck was I saying his motivations oh so um at that point before the cutscene happens mm-hmm I’m pretty sure you can fuck am I saying Jesus Christ I’m sorry no I just did the same thing earlier like so are you having a my beard itches moment yeah I think so personally my beard itches um okay at that point yes apparently you can see him on the wall and like attack him before he fucks you up oh really but uh you forgot oh god not the fucking brain thing Jesus this sucks there’s a Wow boy there’s a lot going on in the swamp yeah oh no no you definitely are dead Man, well at least he missed you that time.

Chocolate.

Yeah, he gave you the chocolate.

He gave the chocolate, the vanilla, the strawberry, and the pistachio nuts.

But yes, you can kill him on the wall, and he gives you a cool item.

No shit.

Um, but I think I might still be able to do it But yeah, he totally fucked me.

Damn.

But whatever, whatever.

I don’t even mind.

I don’t even care.

Not a big deal.

I’m back here now, and everything’s fine, and everybody’s fine.

We’re all friends.

Everything’s good.

I could not be happier.

Uh, my- I’m moving on with my life.

Nobody’s gonna ruin this for me, okay? No, this is my special day.

Uh, I am not a bridezilla.

A bridezilla? Dude, you’ve never heard of that? Oh, of course.

Oh, it’s the best.

I mean, dude, my- Susie’s all over the trash reality show.

Yeah, she loves that stuff.

She fucking eats it up.

I would personally rather die.

I would rather poison myself slowly.

Well, it’s- I’ve noticed there are two kinds of people, right? Yeah, there are people that see that, and it makes them feel shitty.

Yep.

From watching it, and then I’ve- There are people who feel better from watching it.

Right.

Because they’re like, well, that’s like- At least that’s not me.

Yeah, yeah.

No, I get that.

Man, my life isn’t this bad.

I mean, it’s the same reason she- Damn.

Damn, I can’t feel- Whoa, whoa, whoa! No! No! Wow! What the fuck, man? Man, that thing rocked you.

Oh, no.

How many blood echoes did you lose? 40,000? Oh, there we go.

That’s- That never feels good.

God damn it.

I was fucking trying to get away, but I couldn’t see where the- Oh, irreverent Izzy.

I just have to live with it.

Yeah.

Yeah, just- just suck it up.

Can’t just complain about it all day.

But did you see that shit? And I could’ve run away! It’s okay.

Blood echoes come, blood echoes go.

I’m making fun of 15 seconds ago me.

Yeah.

You’ve grown a lot since then.

Thank you, man.

I feel like I’ve grown a lot.

I’ve read a couple of books in that time.

Yeah, yeah.

Really, really had time to think.

I’ve watched a couple Ted Talks.

Yeah.

Really, uh- Yeah.

Taking some time to step away.

Aw, man.

You’ve- aw, you feel it too.

That’s a whole level.

Mm-hmm.

Ooh, man.

I can’t wait to retrieve my 2,000 blood echoes.

Yahoo.

Oh, and look at how easy he was to kill.

Wow, that’s weird.

He just- what happened? Did he just catch you off guard? Yeah, man.

It’s just like- that’s how the patterns work in this game.

Like, these dudes are really strong.

They just kind of like- if you catch them in a loop, you just kill them immediately.

Right.

Super easy.

Like, see, like if he punches me three times, I’m dead.

Yeah, that’s true.

But he’s easy to get away from.

He’s easy to trap into a corner.

Right.

You just can’t get cocky, like I did.

I was like, whatever, this guy’s fucking- whatever, I’ve fought a million of them.

I can beat him.

And then I just wailed on him and died.

The end.

Well, you know what Han Solo said about getting cocky.

What’s that? Don’t? Chewie, I love you.

I might be- I might be mixing those lines up.

Yeah? Oh no, he said I know.

Sorry.

She says I love you.

Got it.

Whoa! Damn! It’s totally cool.

I don’t, you know, I don’t mind.

I honestly don’t mind.

It’s totally cool.

So the good news is that Markiplier, who has played through this game twice already, has told us that we are close to the end.

Yeah, he said, well, just mainline, mainline game, which means not objectional or- Oh, see you later.

Optional bosses.

Yes.

We have two bosses left.

Is that all? Yeah.

That’s fantastic.

And I don’t know if this next boss, which I- who I’ve fought, right, is optional or not.

Right.

But, um- How many optional bosses are there? I don’t know.

Like, the one we just fought, the- The gummy bear? The daughter, yeah.

Ebriettas.

Ebriettas.

She’s optional, I believe.

Oh, okay.

Yikes.

So yeah, there’s a lot of optional bosses.

I think, um, I think the one we just fought, too, the electric guy? Marle? The one that you thought was Ron Paul’s son? Yeah, yeah, Rand Paul.

Yes.

He was optional, I believe.

Oh, okay.

So there’s tons of optional bosses.

All right, fair enough, but we’re not gonna find them all, right? We’re gonna- we’re gonna just pretty much complete the- What is this, Pokemon? I’m just gonna play through what I know.

Pokemon, which we also haven’t finished.

True dat, Bombaclatt.

We need to, um- Finish games? Yeah, we need to finish that, and we need to finish Trauma Center.

Uh, well, easier said than done, buddy.

You say that, like, it’s like, oh, yeah, we’ll just pop it in and play it.

Well, it is easy for me, because I’m not doing anything.

Watch out, here comes a rock.

Oh, yeah.

Boy, you are poisoned all the shit.

It’s okay.

Okay.

Fuck you.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, other way.

Oh, boy.

I can go up there and fuck his shit.

Up, up.

I’m gonna do that.

Let’s fuck it up.

Yeah, sure, whatever.

You want to get all semantics.

All right, cool.

Frenzy cold blood.

Oh, is this just a little, like, poison respite? Yeah, yeah.

Well, there’s also a nice little item in there.

I don’t know if you saw what I picked up.

I didn’t know if you picked up what I was- Putting down? Dropping.

What, what, what’d you drop and pick up? I dropped- As if it were hot.

An eye drop.

What are you talking about? I dropped an eye drop in my eye.

Drop the beat.

Oh my god.

Is there a dude up here? Oh, there he is.

I found him.

Oh, almost got him.

Hey.

He’s casual.

Yeah, he’s like, aww.

Where’s the other guy? Oh, he’s over there.

Oh, yeah.

All right, so.

Just waiting to cause mischief.

My- It’d be cool if you had a ranged weapon.

Did I lose out on those souls that were over there? The 20,000? Yeah.

I don’t think so.

I died from the, just the dude, right? Yeah.

The little, uh.

.

.

Remember when I was trying to come back? Do you remember when I lost a ton of souls and then I died? Yes, that was 40,000.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, so you’ve lost a shit ton of souls today.

Dang.

I’m sorry.

It’s okay.

I’m gonna- Sometimes I’m good, sometimes I’m not.

Sometimes, yeah.

I mean, you just described the duality of man.

Yeah, I guess so.

Sometimes I’m good.

Sometimes I have a little evil in me.

Yeah.

It’s like every horoscope ever.

What’s that? You know, where it’s like, do you- Bitch, you evil! Do you sometimes feel like things are going good for you, and then they don’t go good for you? And it’s like, yeah, you’re a Capricorn.

Oh, thanks.

Wow.

Gosh, I had no idea.

Yeah.

Yeah, that defines you as a person.

Do you like food? Yeah.

Pisces! Man, this is an item fucking C over here.

Yeah, it’s a party.

When people, now that you know this is a, um, Like other players can come in and interfere with this part of the game.

Is it possible that when they die, they’re dropping items there? No, no, no, no.

Okay.

That’s not how it works.

Okay, great.

I mean, that does sound so dismissive.

No.

N00BS.

No, I did die.

I did- I died stupidly again and lost my souls, right? Did you? Yeah, I think so.

All right.

I don’t recall the second time, but that’s fine.

God knows this is blending together.

Shit.

There’s your brain, friend.

Oh, yeah, the brain did kill you.

Oh, that’s where I died.

It was the brain.

Shit, that’s a completely other place.

Ah, fuck it.

Yeah, don’t worry about it.

I won’t worry about it.

Do you worry about it? I won’t worry about it.

No, we’re putting on a show here.

So, I just want you to murder that brain, and then we’ll call it a day.

I gotta run.

Whoa.

I’m scared, I’m nervous.

Oh, he saw you.

He saw you with his giant gross brain eyes.

First of all, it’s a woman.

Okay.

Don’t be so sexist.

Whoa, sorry.

Second of all, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

What happened? I got frenzied.

Oh.

Takes away a lot of health.

Jeez.

Are you saying that gross brain creatures can’t be women, too? In fact, now that I think about it, including Mother Brain from Metroid, all the gross brain creatures I’m aware of have been women.

Oh, sweet.

Yeah.

I guess, is there, like, a beautiful brain creature? I don’t think so.

No, brains are pretty gross by nature.

Yeah, they’re not supposed to be on the outside.

That is a good point.

I hadn’t thought of that.

That’s not even, like, a thing where it’s like, well, I was born with my brain on the outside.

No, that’s not a thing, Arin.

Very fortunately.

The brain is an incredibly delicate instrument.

Yeah, well, there was a dude, um.

.

.

I almost said decadent, like, mmm, delicious brain.

Well, you know, decadent comes from the word decay.

Yeah, because they believe that, like, having too much killed you, is that correct? Yeah.

Like, too much of a good thing is a bad thing.

Weird.

My grandma uses it to refer to chocolates.

Yeah, because it’s, it’s, it’s decadent.

It’ll ruin your figure.

Ooh, man, is it delicious? Yeah.

Well, she’s 88, so she’s like, fuck it, steaks every night.

So, Dan, I know you’re in a mellow mood, but I got a, I got a bone to pick with something, and I got to share this story with somebody.

First of all, I’m not in a mellow mood.

Baby.

You’re right.

You’re right.

I don’t know why.

I always assume when you talk really quietly, and, uh, sit all curled up on the couch with a, with like a satisfied smile on your face, that it actually means you’re seething with anger.

I am.

Boiling pit of rage over here.

Tell your story, girl.

All right.

Talk to Daddy.

You’re not my father, and I’m not a female.

Okay, sorry, go on.

Although sometimes I wish I were.

Yeah, and I wish I was, too.

Your dad.

I’m meaning.

Go on with your story, please.

Okay, step one.

Okay.

I go on eBay because, as a child, Yes.

I have always, my favorite toys to play with were the Mega Man toys from the cartoon show.

Mm-hmm.

Um, and one of the first toys I bought with my own money was one of the Mega Man toys, so it holds a very dear place in my heart.

Right.

I had a realization not long ago that I am an adult.

I can just fucking have that.

Oh, yeah, dude, you’re a grown-ass man.

I can just spend the money that I’ve earned, and a grown-ass man, and that’s true, too.

That is much more true than the first statement.

Um, I can spend the hard money that they earned, that money.

I can go on eBay.

Yeah, you can buy stuff.

And purchase the thing that I’ve always wanted my whole life.

Yeah, absolutely.

So I’ve been doing that.

Okay.

And there’s one that is, that is, there are two that are much rarer than the other ones.

Okay.

There’s, um, Bright Man and Drill Man.

Okay.

And I’ve been trying to collect them in package, because that’s more of a nostalgic thing for me.

Right.

Seeing them on the, on the rack.

So I find Drill Man, and I’ve been watching this Drill Man figure for, like, a long time.

This same listing for this Drill Man figure.

Mm-hmm.

And I’m finally like, all right, well, you know what, he has, like, a, he has, like, a Best Offer thing up there.

It’s, like, really sort of pricey, because it’s one of the rarer ones, but, like, I’ll, I’ll, I’ll lowball him a little bit, you know, and we’ll negotiate.

Yeah, it’s negotiations.

So, I, I sent him an offer, and he responds to me, declining it outright, like, not even doing a counteroffer.

And he’s like, oh, man, I just got, uh, two offers of the same amount from, like, another dude, at the same time you sent me yours.

And, like, I know how much this is worth.

I’ve, I’ve, so, this one is, sells for how much I’ve got it listed for.

In fact, it sells for $200 sometimes, and, next week, I’m raising it up to $99 because of how rare it is.

Sounds, sounds plausible.

This listing has been up for this price for, like, like, two months.

That makes it less plausible.

But, yes.

And so, I’m like, fuck you, man.

Right.

So, I just give him a counteroffer that’s, like, a little bit lower than what he’s asking, because, like, obviously, whatever.

And he fucking offered, he put the thing to make an offer.

Right.

On the fucking page.

Right, right, right.

So, obviously, he’s willing to negotiate.

Maybe he was hoping you’d make an offer that’s higher than the offer he was making.

So, before I walk into this boss battle.

How much is this? $30.

I’ll give you 50.

Let me think about it.

Before I walk into this boss battle, he sends me another fucking message.

Right.

All right.

Mm-hmm.

And he’s like, after this counteroffer I’ve made.

Yes.

And he’s like, oh, wouldn’t you know it? Like, I got the same amount offer from somebody else again.

Yeah.

And, you know what? I’m gonna offer it to you first.

So, just accept it right now.

Mm-hmm.

And we’ll do it.

And I was like, of course, accept.

I’m the one who made the offer.

Right.

You have to accept my offer.

Yeah, that’s how that works.

So that I can pay you.

Mm-hmm.

That’s how you agree on an offer.

Oh, man, that’s so true.

And then he responds by accepting the offer and going, like, I accepted it, man.

Like, what’s the deal? Like, you’re the one who has to pay me now.

And I’m like, what is wrong with you? I just want this figure.

This is way more contentious than it needed to be.

I don’t know what it is with these Mega Man figures, because when I bought this one figure from this other guy, he was like, my house burned down and it’s gone.

And I was like, oh, I’m sorry to hear that.

Well, all right.

And then he listed it again.

And then I was like, dude, your house didn’t burn down.

No, I found it amongst the ashes.

Yeah, and then he said, he was like, well, I had another one.

Oh my god.

Whoa, hello.

Yeah, so by the way, Jeez.

Oh, it’s the thing.

It’s the thing that’s been hanging out from the walls.

Yeah.

Oh, I’m so glad you noticed.

Amygdala.

Oh, man, they’re the best.

Oh, they’re not the best.

Amygdala.

Okay.

The brain part.

Okay.

The Amygdala controls your emotions.

Oh, is that right? Yeah.

Wow.

If I ever get emotions that look like this, I apologize in advance.

Apologize.

Yeah, because I am probably in a somewhat salty mood.

Yeah, so this is a, this is a.

.

.

Damn, dude, that thing is fucking you right up.

I would say somewhat of a difficult boss.

Yeah.

He’s got drilled tails.

So this is just one of like a whole bunch of them, right? Yeah, this one just happened to like decide that I wasn’t the right person to be in front of him right now.

Okay, fair enough.

Or her.

I don’t want to be sexist about the giant disgusting brain.

No big deal.

Yes.

Oh gosh.

Wow.

That’s a lot of arms.

It is, and it doesn’t, ooh.

It feels like the amount of blood vials that you have to use to like tread water with this thing is not good.

It’s a lot larger than most bosses.

Yeah, for sure.

Ooh, no, I think we’re good.

Yeah, you just rocked the groin.

What? Oh, okay.

That’s a hurtie.

Didn’t like that.

That’s a owie.

That’s a owie, like wowie.

My daddy told me to stay away from owies like that.

Heel.

I forgot how I eventually killed this dude, because I think he’s much stronger in his second form.

Or she, don’t want to be sexist.

Yeah, of course not, of course not.

He or she looks great.

Did you lose weight? You look super good.

That Atkins diet’s really working out for you.

Oh boy.

I heard you were, is that true? I don’t know.

I, you know, I’ve been checking your Facebook periodically, but try not to be like stalker level, you know.

Fucking walking on eggshells with amygdala.

Just imagining his Facebook profile like, oh single again.

What is it with girls? Four guys? God damn, so strong.

I like him strong.

Oh, no, that’s dead.

Oh, no.

Oh, no, I that’s the end for me folks.

Oh god.

Whoa.

Oh shit.

It can still do his laser.

Jam.

Yeah, dude This is a straight-up amygdala, bro.

That’s not good.

Oh Oh jeez, stop it with the fucking bulb-y, tentacle, fucking weird god.

Can it do its fucking, um, nasty hand dimension grab you thing? No, that would be way too cheap.

Good.

That would be super unfair.

Hey, got those.

God damn, dude.

Get the fuck out of here with that.

Trying to remember if there was like a specific thing that I did to defeat this dude, like a, like a pattern.

Right.

But I don’t think there was.

I think the, the, the best, oh.

The thing you were having the most luck with was when you like, sort of like, ran under the crotchal region.

Yeah.

And just went to town.

Which is what I recommend on a lot of dates.

I think it’s the where it’s the strongest though.

You see, like when I attack it, it doesn’t do that much damage right here.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I think it takes a lot of damage in the head.

It’s got a lot of groin armor.

Yeah, you know, it does bring its head like really close to the ground and that’s probably for a reason.

There, okay, cool.

Damn! I don’t know what happened.

I can, I can reach its head.

Whoa.

Maybe one or two times.

What happened? What’d you do? Did you sever its arm? Yeah, I hit like its arm that was glowy and, oh God.

Oh, dear.

Get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, heal.

Okay.

Okay.

Fine.

I’m gonna party with all my friends.

We like to party.

We like to party.

Oh, God.

It’s time for some more boat paper.

Time for some more boat paper.

You like to stop the fight in the middle.

Hold on! I’m applying the paper.

Hold up! Hold up, baby.

Yo, this party need a little boat paper.

Oh my God.

And everyone’s like, yeah, you know it! She’s like, yeah.

That’s right, girl.

You heard what I said.

Whoa, nicely done.

Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about.

Got, oh, nice.

Dude, you’re super full health right now.

Oh, shit.

Dude, it’s looking really good.

Yeah! Fuck you, amygdala.

Dude, you just fucking killed one of those gross wall things.

Sweet.

So proud of you.

That makes me feel great.

Makes me feel great.

Ooh, I got an ailing Lauren chalice.

I’m so happy for you.

It’s raining blood.

Yeah, of course it is.

What else would it do? I don’t know.

I couldn’t tell you.

I mean, if it’s.

.

.

It’s gonna rain, I might as well rain blood in the skin.

Oh, that’s a lantern.

I thought it was a person, like holding a lamp.

What’s that? And they’re just like, have you seen my pet, amygdala? He’s housebroken and friendly.

Just don’t attack him.

He’ll love you forever.

He’s tall and looks like a giant ball.

Yeah.

Like a nut.

Have you seen a nut with a body? About yay big, 30 stories tall.

He shoots lasers, but they’re friend lasers.

When you’re hit by them, you get an overwhelming sense of joy.

I love the phrase friend lasers.

Yeah, man, you shoot them at your friends.

You know what really bugs me about peanuts? What really grinds your gears about it, Arin? I just, I can never connect with Charlie Brown because he’s such a complainer.

He just, and he complains about the most, like, not, you know, it’s just kind of like, I don’t know, like, it’s like, shut up.

Dude, he’s a seven-year-old who’s bald.

You don’t, you don’t have a little sympathy for him? No, not really.

He’s got one twisty hair.

Yeah, that’s his problem.

Dude can’t kick a football without someone pulling it out.

Yeah, but it’s not like he’s complaining about that.

He’s complaining about some other bullshit that nobody cares about.

Fucking, his friend Schroeder’s a master musician, and he has to just watch as that dude gets a fucking scholarship and goes to Juilliard and fucking achieves all his dreams.

That is your headcanon.

That is not real Snoopy canon.

That’s what the teachers were saying with their wah-wahs, and I just decoded it, so you’re welcome.

Is there, like, a Charlie Brown Hwicky that, uh.

.

.

A Hwicky? Yeah, Charlie Brown Hwicky.

I like to pronounce Ws as if they are WHs all the time.

Oh, yeah.

Like Hwich.

It’s a Seth MacFarlane joke I think you’ll be happy to find out about.

Oh, yeah? Yeah, where they talk about cool whip.

Oh, is it? I can see the disdain spreading across your face.

Whoa, we, have we seen this guy? No, he’s like a marionette ghoul ghost or some shit, and he doesn’t die right away.

Oh.

Oh.

Yeah, you gotta wail on him some more.

Gross.

You gotta wait for him to get up again, and then.

.

.

Oh.

Oh, ow.

Who’s got this guy at a time? Stomp it.

I think they come back too.

Great.

Yeah, they’re a bunch of jerkweeds.

I don’t like them.

I don’t like them at all, Dan.

So, when you, um, before we started this, I asked, oh, wait, hang on a second.

Oh, so this guy is the host of the nightmare.

I don’t know what his deal is, but he’s got a cage on his head.

Oh, sweet.

Oh, like those mummies, yeah? Yeah.

Yeah.

He’s like, please take this off.

I don’t like it very much.

It’s extremely heavy and made of steel.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to eat solid foods? Was this made for a conehead? I don’t understand.

Goodbye.

Wow.

All right, so I just got to chase this douche around.

Um, so he’s running from you? Yeah, he’s just a douche.

All right.

Micolash? Yeah.

Oh, he’s marionetting stuff.

Yeah, he’s just a sweaty douche.

I don’t know.

I don’t like him.

All right, cool.

Go get, wow, he’s fast.

Yeah, he is.

He really moves for a dude with a fucking six-pound cage on his head.

Yeah, he’s just a sweaty douche though.

All right, noted.

Like, he fucking, like, you know when it’s, like, cold, and then you get, like, pit sweat for inexplicably? I don’t.

That’s, like, what he would, that’s him in a nutshell.

I don’t have properly working sweat glands.

Oh, shit, that’s right.

Yeah.

You, on the other hand, I’ve been able to live out all my sweating dreams through you.

I sweat enough for, like, four people.

Mister, I take my shirt off every time I go to the bathroom.

Not every time.

Just the times when it gets really intense.

You know the ones.

You know exactly what I’m talking about.

I do not.

Ah, shit.

Oh, man.

Speaking of shit.

Oh, there he goes.

Oh, I lost him.

See, we’re making fun of him.

Oh, there he is.

Well, yeah, I mean, when you get, like, super sweaty and uncomfortable, and your shit makes you feel bad, then you gotta, sometimes you just gotta let it rip, you know? I guess so, Arin.

I guess so.

God, he’s fast.

Yeah, Jesus.

You pokey little flab biscuit.

God dang, dude.

Fucking ill Pantissimo.

Yeah, I would love it if they took a page out of the Mario Sunshine playbook, and he just calls you a pokey little flab biscuit.

I would love that, too, but it’s not gonna happen.

I see that you’re a biscuit.

This is Bloodborne we’re talking about.

Specifically one of pokiness and flabbitude.

Mario’s missing.

Pokiness and flabbitude.

Yeah.

Boy, this is gonna take forever.

Well, he stops running after a while.

Oh, okay.

You just kinda gotta get him a couple times, and then he backs himself into a corner.

Um, great job.

Would it help to, um, lengthen your weapon? Oh, no, cause it’s slower.

Oh.

Yeah.

Shenanigans.

I do like a little lunge when I attack him.

So I’m like, here he goes, he’s trapping himself.

Oh, good.

With his stamina back.

Okay.

Okay.

What’s up, buddy? How you doing? Dammit.

See ya.

Every time I do this.

Oh, damn.

Yeah, he doesn’t fuck around.

But whatever, you know, I don’t care.

Yeah.

You do whatever he wants with his fucking sluggy hands.

You’re not huge on fucking around either, as he is finding out in this moment.

Ooh, stop it with the sluggy hands.

Oh, damn.

Do you know, um, uh, is he an optional boss, or is he a main one? No, no, no, he is totally necessary.

Oh, okay.

Get out of here, man.

These guys are wrecking me.

Yeah.

Ah, no, he fucking disappeared like a pokey little flab bis kid.

I like using, I like using inappropriate, uh, insults.

Wait, are we in a dream right now? No, but he’d like to say so.

Alright.

Well, we’re in the nightmare, right? And he’s the, so I guess, technically.

And he’s the, he’s the host of the nightmare.

Okay.

So, I don’t know what that means, cause I, I’m actually, this is the point where I am in my playthrough.

Oh, okay.

At home, so, I’m gonna have to start, uh, Yeah.

Start banging out some fucking bloodborne action.

Yeah, but, didn’t someone say we’re quite close? I think Mark said.

Yes, he said, like, We’re only a couple bosses away.

This is one of the last bosses.

Oh, boy.

There’s like two more or something.

I think he’s down here.

So now he’s gonna jump through mirrors like an asshole.

Jeez.

Yeah, he’s a jerk.

This fucking guy.

Yeah, he takes fucking forever.

Fucking Meeko Lash with his stupid fucking, his, his weird like, like watch that he got like ten years ago at a garage sale.

And he’s like, no, it’ll never go, like, and it, and it’s always slow.

Mm-hmm.

Like, he has to reset it every day.

And it’s like, come on, man, like.

Meeko Lash will never have an Apple Watch like you.

Take it seriously for a sec.

It’s time.

Here we go.

This is where I’m supposed to be.

Oh, sweet.

The vacuous Rom.

What, what happened with Rom? He, he was talking to his god, I think, and he said, uh, like, as you once granted Rom with his vacuous eyes.

So I guess, like, he’s asking for sight from his god.

Because that spider was, like, fucking coated in eyes.

That thing was rife with eyes.

He was.

Is that what his, vacuous eyes, his eyes were all over his body, and they were, they were indeed vacuous.

Yes.

I think that was the, that was the whole point of his situation.

Where, is that him? This is scary.

Oh, that is him.

Come back! I like how he stands there until you notice him and he’s like, can’t catch me! Oh, you son of a bitch.

Oh, he’s immediately running to the spot, the final fight.

Cool.

Oh, oh, oh dear.

Alright.

Oh, I know what I have to do.

I have to, like, warp to it or some shit.

Uh.

Whoa, chill out.

Okay, okay.

Chill out, marionette puppet ghost something or other.

Hey, glowy hands, I don’t know what’s going on.

Glowy hands, my goo.

Oh, jeez.

Those, yeah, those skeletons have a lot of blood for being skeletons.

Yeah, well, I don’t know, they’re like pseudo-skeletons, I guess.

Sure.

Wouldn’t it be awesome if, like, this blood-borne hunter, this character that I was playing as, is like, I don’t know, like, what am I thinking of? They’re like a Minnesotan, like a really nice, like, family Minnesotan.

They’re just like, oh, jeez, oh, man.

Oh, Kash.

Oh, you’re really, oh, you’re really messing with me right here.

Oh, jeez.

You know, this is not too super particularly clever or anything, or like, just kind of like, oh, gee, gosh.

But, like, really nice.

This is a bad situation.

Like, grant us eyes, and grant Itapupu a sweater.

Ah, jeez.

She looks cold, Kash.

Cold as heck.

Oh, cold as heck.

Cold as heck up in here.

What the H? What the H is going on in here? That’s what the kids say.

What the H? Yeah.

I can’t open shit up until he stops talking.

Oh, God.

All right, here we go.

I’m going to leap on him right now.

He is the chattiest of Kathy’s, too.

I’m going to leap on him.

Is he down there? I think he’s down there.

Meanwhile, this choir must be fucking really hoarse by now.

God damn it.

Oh, there he is.

Right there.

Hi-yah! Oh, nice.

Oh, sucks to be you, don’t it? Oh, damn.

He’s like, I see you’ve gone through all my arcane magic and supplies, perhaps punches will do the trick.

Oh, shit.

This move is really strong.

Ha ha.

Never mind.

Okay.

No, not again.

Stop.

Shit.

No way.

Okay, by punches, I guess I meant harness the universe.

Stop, dude.

Stop it with that move.

Oh, God.

Wow.

It’s a fucking cheater.

Oh, easy, easy.

Cheater.

Heal.

Ah! Ah! No! No! Oh, that’s a piece.

Yeah.

Fuck yeah.

Eat my- ah! Okay.

Eat my- ah! God damn it with your fucking arcane arts.

Oh.

Get the fuck out of here with your fucking bullshit tentacle hand.

Oh, here comes.

Yeah.

Fuck.

Fuck! Ah, damn it! No, not again! Ha! I think he only does it when you give him space.

I think when you’re all up on him, he’ll use the tentacle attack, which isn’t great, but- oh, you’re fucking him up.

Take him out.

Yeah, fuck you baby.

Oh, yeah host to the nightmare get my blood echoes back Melting right before me.

Ah shit.

You slaughtered me as prey.

Oh, I got the menses cage.

Oh shit I got the cage I can put it on my head and now I look like a pretty person.

Oh, you’ve got that now Yeah, I don’t know if I can put it on my head.

You just took it off his head.

This is mine now What’s happening? You see this? I keep this.

This hasn’t happened in my game yet.

Holy shit for reals Yeah, you’re experiencing things with me for the first time Yeah, things you’ve never felt with another man before.

Okay, um Getting a little weird.

Mm-hmm Reel it in reel it in.

Oh cool.

Another pathway is opening for me.

Oh Sweet, I don’t know where this is Maybe it’s right next to where I am It’s like the world’s most beautiful shitty train station All aboard to hell.

Yeah Yeah, yeah everybody on board Yeah, I like to imagine that like if hell is a real thing like you have to take a subway to get there and like You don’t know which stop is yours and the person just comes over like in the New York subway And the map is really confusing and you’re like am I going in the right direction? Oh, maybe that’s what hell is you just Stay on the fucking subway.

Are we traveling east or west? Are we travel? Oh and And just couples are like I told you look at the map.

It’s like I don’t need the map Yeah, and then like the the conductor comes up to you and then you like show him your ticket and you’re and he’s like Where did you get on and you’re like, uh, I got on it earth Yeah, I was earth and he’s like, oh this isn’t I haven’t I’m not hold on Yeah, and he like great starts talking as walkie-talkie and you’re just like sitting there like Oh, it’s okay.

Like am I gonna get kicked off and he’s like, hold on.

I’ll be right back I just got to talk to my supervisor and then you just leaves you there for all eternity Your stop it’s like your stop coming off ding ding ding you’re like, I gotta get off and the guys like wait wait wait Wow, we are like the Stephen King’s of stupid I’m trying to fuck.

Oh, is this it? Yeah, I found it.

Okay, cool.

Oh sweet another lamp.

Oh So cool nice light that shit 28 days later one of my favorite zombie movies I’m gonna say really It’s it’s the movie that made me fall in love with Killian Murphy He’s a handsome fella I Yes, I was gonna get a little detailed about it and you know where it was gonna go what? With the fact that you you’d like to participate in homosexual behavior with him.

Yeah Particularly the the taking of the homosexual behavior.

I don’t understand about the giving if you know what I’m saying Those are those are you can just say you want scarecrow to fuck you.

Yeah.

All right, fine.

We get it But I don’t know scare.

Yeah, you know what? He is beautiful when he’s scared I got those like piercing eyes.

He’s a very handsome fella.

Did you know how we scored that role? No, he um He auditioned to be Batman whoa for Nolan was in love with his eyes as Every man should be and Christopher Nolan was like I have to film you.

Yeah, pretty much Wow That’s that’s that’s almost exactly how it went.

I think this will lead me down.

So you just gave him the scarecrow role Yeah, I always thought he was a weird choice.

Oh Yeah, because he said his eyes were deep and haunting Huh? So yeah, pretty cool, right? That is cool.

So that’s what happens.

That’s what happens if you if you’re a Hollywood actor guys Try out for Batman cuz you’ll get a role that’s not Batman, but still good Yeah And if and then you’ll inexplicably end up in the third movie and if it’s not doing anything for you and you can’t get the role By all means get eye deepening surgery.

Yeah, I know I will probably one of the most popular surgeries this today in Hollywood Yeah, I’m actually doing it the old-fashioned way by not sleeping for like five years.

Oh Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, that’s like the homeopathic method.

Yeah, people are like wow, you’re rugged looking and I’m like, no, I’m fucking about to die That’s what that is.

That’s what you’re saying.

Yes.

Can I Can you leave me down, please? Don’t you have to push the button? Okay, I did push the button do you I Did we don’t there’s a brain lady up there.

Oh, so there is not so down with that.

Okay.

Yes, this one Yeah, yeah, I was just here Wow.

Remember that? Yes.

Welcome to blood-borne, baby Gosh, man, I gotta go back up Try to close the door All right.

Well, all right.

It’s like a horrible like restroom, you know when you walk in and you’re just like oh fuck You can’t close the door Or when the lock doesn’t work I’m at the lock and you just got to hold your hand again Yeah and then somebody tries to open it without fucking knocking and you’re like No, no Not somebody in here and you like kick it back at them and they’re and they’re like it like immediately just knee-jerk reaction makes them Mad.

Yeah, of course it does they were just trying to open a door.

Whatever man.

Fuck you and you’re like, okay I’m sorry Chill out.

Damn.

These are the bosses I fought.

Whoa.

Remember these guys? Oh, yeah, there were three of them I just wrecked him though.

Damn.

They’ve got some serious fucking reach on those swords and Also, they’re dead.

Yeah some serious fucking ow in their chests nicely done.

Yeah, and we’re moving onward I’m excited in the blood-borne game that we’re playing right now.

I just put it together Were you about to launch into bah with the bah by Kid Rock? Yeah, cuz I just heard like a really like timid like But then it just stopped it just like That what that song is called bah with the bah bah with the bah Yeah, because they say bah with the bah to bang bang diggy diggy diggy said the boogie said I’m jump the boogie What the fuck? Yeah, who the fuck names their song bah with the bah.

Um a millionaire I can I can name it so I can name someone for you.

Yeah That’s it that’s actually like a pretty ballsy way to introduce yourself to the music world To just start off with your first single like screaming your own name.

Oh, yeah, it totally worked for that one song.

Oh, yeah Didn’t he date? Carmen Anderson Pamela.

Yes.

He was with Pamela Anderson for a while Um Pamelalectra, yeah VIP our sweet VIP girl.

Wait, I hear a baby nothing but women here Well, oh the baby crying I think is the the brain lady oh and a giant gross pig, yeah, I forget that I gotta kill him.

I gotta take care of this situation Nasty, look at those butt folds.

Oh you nasty pig.

Yo, look at his butt folds.

Look at that little butthole.

Oh Oh god, right in there.

Come on, dude.

Oh my god.

He’s not dead.

Yeah, we shit.

That’s a strong pig Yeah, and now he’s dead.

Wow That was like that was like the worst colonoscopy that has ever been performed There’s a delicious colonoscopy cuz damn cheese pull out those pig intestines.

You can make some delicious sausage You know what I’m saying? I believe that’s called tripe tripe.

I don’t know what tripe is I know I know it’s the gross innards of some animal.

It’s I think it’s a pig is it? Yeah Maybe I was right Accidentally, okay Does it I don’t want to be down there I’m assuming probably not don’t you want to find out what that baby crying was? It’s just a sound you hear because of the insight that you have So like as you go through the game you gain more and more insight which like you can use as a currency To buy stuff but it the more you have of it the more susceptible the bad shit you are Really? Yeah, so like the baby crying is something you hear.

Okay.

Oh boy.

Those are not friendly pigs.

Mm-hmm You never know they might be an Audi It’s still following.

Okay, sounds like it.

I’m gonna hide over here Where it can’t get no good job I’m just waiting to see about rumbling stumbling Okay My name is pig No boy, oh they walk faster than I walk They’re like, let’s get back to tinder.

Maybe I can They can sneak up.

Oh, you know what? I should attract this one first.

Okay, I can’t go on tinder Arin What how sad is that? Yeah, I know But like I can’t either I’m married.

I know But that’s a good reason Whoa, he has more eyes than I remember.

Whoa, my god.

He’s all goofy looking.

He’s got vacuous eyes Oh, those are like the most cartoon ass fuck I’ve ever seen which kind of makes it creepier.

Yeah, it does actually Wow whoa Wow, they worked in tandem.

Okay, let’s take this one pig at a time.

Yeah Well, the other pigs are like far away and they’re together.

Hmm.

So fuck that noise And right in the b-hole.

Right in the b-hole.

God damn it.

Yeah.

It’s so gross.

B-hole action.

Yo, I’m talking about mad butcher shit Mad butcher shit.

That thing is just gross Talking about pigs.

Whoa, dude.

What? I have 44,000.

Yeah, that’s enough for another level.

Yep, but these pigs but these pigs Ah geez, gee whiz You’re gonna get too close.

Don’t get too close.

Yeah Oh, they’re just trotting around.

Little piggy bitch.

Little piggy bitch.

Yeah, throw a rock Come here Yeah, wow.

That really peeves me off! Wow Ow.

Oh my gosh.

Gee whiz man All right, maybe if I do this and I just kind of keep him there.

I don’t think you’re- are you hitting him? Oh boy.

Brought his gross face right through there.

Ah, damn He has got a reach on him Well, he’s stuck there if he keeps aggroing me like this.

Okay, good.

So I can just whale away his dumb face.

Ah Ah No, I think- oh damn.

Oh, this is very upsetting.

Oh stop Yeah, there we go.

Okay.

Phew.

That’s the trick.

All right, one more.

There’s the trick right there All right, come at me pig.

Wish he exploded into thousands of bacon bits.

Like, BACOES? Mm-hmm.

No, it’s bacon strips.

You remember that commercial? Yes It’s BACOOS! No, it’s BACOOS! I have not thought of that in quite some time.

Here, come at me pig.

Mm-hmm.

Come at me pig Oh, you’re just gonna do it over and over again.

Come here.

Come here baby Come on, girl.

Did you forget I was here? Don’t make me throw that rock at you.

Did you forget I was here? Oh, yeah You got to do it Yeah, no.

Dude, you have 27 eyes.

Okay No, no.

Oh, no, he came downstairs.

That’s no good for me.

Mmm.

Maybe it is.

Well, maybe if I stay here, he won’t go around No, he’s coming.

Oh boy Pig, pig friend, pig friend.

Come here.

Oh Oh, do your stomp.

Oh, you’re so silly.

What a silly bear Jesus Christ.

A silly pig.

All right, here, check this out.

I think I’m gonna do this.

Yeah.

Yeah, there we go Nice.

Now he trapped, yo.

Bam, bam, right in the face.

Oh Don’t barf on me.

Yeah That’s not really barf.

That’s more of just a- oh shit.

It’s more of a cloud.

Good Calm down.

Calm down.

Calm down.

Calm down.

Calm down.

Fuck.

I just like the way it’s like off of you.

That frenzy.

That’s what frenzies do Yay.

Nice.

I accomplished my goal of killing these pigs Goddamn that gave me so much experience.

I can level up twice now.

Holy shit.

You want to get back to Hunter’s Dream? Uh, or do you want to fucking risk it all and see what’s behind curtain number three? That’s kind of how it feels.

I know.

Whoa, nourishing damp blood gem.

Oh sweet.

I know how I’m gonna use that Can’t wait to shart that later Ambush waits ahead.

Okay.

Run, eventually wolf will strike and be struck Ooh, that’s a lot of dudes.

Yeah, you know what? Go to Hunter’s Dream, dude Level up.

If I have to watch you go into this pig’s anus one more goddamn time.

It’s the most efficient way to dispatch a pig Why? Why did I join this show? This is my life.

This is it.

This is the point where you quit This is what I have to do every day.

You know what? I can’t watch another pig ass It’s just getting reamed.

I just can’t anymore.

It’s too much for me.

Sometimes you just have to fucking like Like think to yourself.

Oh I’m sorry myself.

This has to stop.

I’m sorry mother I’m sorry mother.

Here he comes.

Oh Oh God.

Oh jeez.

Oh, that’s not good.

Cool.

Nice.

Wait, wait, wait, come at me over here over here over here.

Come on Come on.

No, don’t do it Let me get a couple hits on you first They’re so goofy those eyes I’m a cartoon pig! I don’t know if you totally want Well, I don’t know if you want like to be between pigs.

Shit.

I’m getting a phone call and it’s distract I don’t even know who’s calling me right now.

Oh, man, that’s exciting.

Oh, okay.

Go pig.

Get out of here This isn’t where I wanted you to be Are you at the point in your life where like if you if you see a number you don’t recognize on your cell phone You’re just like let’s deal with that another time.

Oh Totally not.

Well if I’m doing something that like for business if I got somebody who I knew Mm-hmm, I would answer but if it wasn’t important, I wouldn’t then I don’t answer it cool that It’s obviously I don’t know I feel like that’s it if I don’t feel like answering it.

I’m not gonna Really? I did a lot of people do that I feel Well, that’s my story oh boy My mantra on the whole picking up the phone thing is if I don’t like them I don’t answer And I don’t like people I don’t know Rose, I think you slashed the eye and it kept the slash on the eye well cool It might have just been one of his gross eyelids though.

It’s hard to say.

There’s a lot going on on that face Fucking slam down like you just don’t care.

Yeah, don’t slam down like you you’re ready for the sauce You’re not fucking clearly you’re not ready for the sauce killing these three pigs is one whole level.

That’s amazing Like that’s crazy.

That’s a good place to farm.

Yeah, I want to get like super jacked Well, I feel like I just did yeah Yeah, well, let’s see what happens after this ambush by the way, and I actually think the ambush was the pig was the pigs Yeah, could be there’s a lot of these dudes.

That is that is definitely for dude.

That’s a healthy number of dudes Oh That’s a band.

That’s a full band guitar bass keyboards and drums.

Wait are they scattering? Yes, they are turning away so that I can lure them in some well someone’s ringing oh Hey, stop.

Oh of course.

I lured the fucking long-distance fire one.

Yeah, come on great job Don’t those are mmm Come on.

Oh did you forget about me? Yeah? Yeah? He’s just like well.

I can’t reach him yeah Well at least he’s still on fire so you can tell which one yeah, that’s cool Um why you always fucking there we go? Yeah? The other ones are like hey you got hit by a rock flying from behind this Do you want to care that maybe yeah, I figure what that is what’s going on with it? whoa Whatever, it’s just it’s just that um that animation is awesome.

Yeah Mine’s butter.

Oh, whatever gosh dang it.

God damn captain phone call him all right.

We’ll pause it pause it I think this I think the bell ringing woman down here is right here actually oh nice cool.

Yeah, oh, no Oh, no, I’m sorry.

I’m sorry.

Oh, she’s over there.

It’s a wraith of rings.

Oh Yeah, that’s a that is straight-up ringwraith right there.

Yeah, and I don’t even know what the fuck that is excuse me miss Do you have a moment to speak about this sword in your back? damn Someone doesn’t like you killing mama.

Yeah, you stay away from my girlfriend I’m trying to start shit right now.

You’re starting to start shit like this fire right here.

Oh boy She rang the bell right to the very end Yeah, she’s like.

Oh, yeah fucking you’ve taken away 99% of my health with your fucking saw blade.

How about this bell? And when it falls as like a dramatic slow-motion shot of the bell like falling down and still like But it but it falls with the cup down so it just makes the club Oh, yeah, like that really like unsatisfying like is this a thing to kill or is this shit? Yeah? Oh, it’s a scary Yeah, yeah, yeah, my friends.

I love killing my friends Take that out of context please please do What the fuck was I saying oh? Yeah, it’s always so disappointing because when that shows up when she’s ringing the bell that means people can Can show up in my game and fight me no way yeah, and I like that It’s fun because you’re playing another player, and they’re just as good as you are oh But yeah, I guess if they’ve gotten here.

They know what they’re doing yeah Background, but it just hasn’t happened.

I didn’t check it out as good.

Yeah, just the fucking distance Yeah, the skybox is really the sky is crazy like it.

Just makes it feels huge Yeah, it really does oh Nice cinematography Arin whoa oh that looks important, okay? Might want to save those 63,000 huh yeah, but then I have to go through this whole thing oh all right I know another 63,000 fighter Is it fight, I don’t know maybe she’s talking to her talk to her and she’ll be fun She’ll be excuse me.

Are you fun miss hi? Oh that doesn’t look fun.

I mean she’s Miss you seem to have spilled your 1985 Bordeaux wine She’s like You couldn’t interact with her at all no man well, I could probably attack her well who the fuck wants to do that She’s a horrible.

She spilled her ketchup all over her but her two hot dogs.

She’s already dealing with enough Don’t tell me you don’t feel for this woman all right well We only have like 20 seconds left in this episode, so you might as well kill her uh See Dan.

This is why I’m playing and you’re not okay because the advice that you are giving to me and therefore would have Just done right Yourself uh-huh is uh awesome.

I’m so great Oh, really, I would say would that unleash beasts that you could not possibly defeat not so great Oh, well jeez I mean like That doesn’t feel like something you should run by in this game and not do anything with I’m sure she’ll come back Maybe she’s looking up at something Is that possible? She’s looking up at this beautiful Victorian architecture, okay? I guess how I thought maybe there’s something in there you Want some oxycleaners Hi, Billy Mays here with another fantastic undead product Like what do you hmm? Oh, that’s not good.

Yeah, oh geez I have one too Can I actually put it on my head I? Can’t no oh yeah Yeah, nice sup.

Yeah, just rolling with the homies so right now.

Yeah fitting in as they say yeah Gosh, what is this the waiting room at club butter am I right? Okay, I get that reference.

Oh, it’s the hottest club in New York.

I think this is actually better No shit.

Oh, no.

It’s not okay.

It’s totally it looks incredibly derpy Yeah, I’m just gonna it probably activates some shit if I wear it though I’m sure wait.

Maybe if I talk to her with the hat on oh Let me see that’s an interesting idea Let me try All the people who know we’re just like no you don’t yes stupid it.

You’re wasting our fucking time 18 seconds I’m never getting back.

Yeah, I’m gonna try it though.

I’m gonna try it do it.

Hey, baby like my hat oh There’s notes.

What is it nothing, but madness here.

Oh, thanks very helpful Yeah, you um you like the way my head looks Checking checking out my head.

It’s the only time you can make her look at you because it’s the only time you’re that tall There’s no fucking no wait around here.

There’s ah Like telling you a little bit about her.

It’s not like a tracker or like.

Maybe it really is nothing Maybe that’s what nothing, but madness here means yeah, but you know what about to the left there I? Already went there, okay Um all right well, then I’ll just put back on my hat and get on my merry way geez Maybe there’s better hats though Do I have better hats no I do not onward sweet You look good in this one anyway.

Thanks, man.

Yeah, it’s cool.

It’s got like frills It’s becoming it makes me kind of look like a bird or something.

Oh, yeah, so it does It makes me look like that that enemy in Kirby.

That’s like sort of nondescript.

It.

Just flies mm-hmm should we be viewing those notes.

Yeah, hmm Yeah, it’s looking a little looking a little bossy.

Yeah, it’s like a little very open.

It’s a lot of notes around though Maybe maybe let’s try to take a peek Like we’re just slow like before you activate anything bless us with blood very descriptive.

There’s a baby carriage But where I’d like dead ahead of you oh? God is that her baby? She’s all bloody yeah, she oh Not a fan of this Oh come on boy here we go Hello bird Man this game does not skimp on the bosses.

I will tell you oh, let’s tell you that what what am I even looking at? Right now fuck whoa That is just a faceless horror that is like whoa god.

Oh god.

Oh, and you’re fighting it.

It’s Murgos What am the Murgos wet nurse? Yeah? Yeah? You just mentioned that oh her bedside manner is not Oh, I did not see it.

Yeah Don’t do your little diggly-doo.

I know your diggly-doo move, and I know you love it Goddamn, she doesn’t really have that kind of a reach There’s no like a dash attack or anything.

Well.

She’s just a nurse yeah, oh Sure, she’s just a wet nurse This is the woman whose boobs I would entrust with my child Whoa I don’t know.

Oh dear.

I don’t know.

Oh, it’s gotten harder.

I don’t know you can feel it getting harder I don’t know.

Oh, she’s coming at you, bro, whoo Chill the fuck out wet nurse.

Yeah dude keep swinging Nope, nope nope nope oh man.

That’s awesome.

That looks so rad Yeah, it really does Oh, nope Damn, there’s two of them.

Oh my god.

Okay.

She’s noted Damn chill out chill out Holy shit So many scimitars geez my baby doesn’t need this much milk The milk’s gone bad.

Oh, no, which one’s the real one? Oh golly? Yeah? Yeah? Oh? Thank God Wow? That’s fucking crazy, okay? Nope This is the slow part.

I know I am like on the edge of my seat right now Okay, oh you ballsy bastard Oh, don’t you dare bring your little little flippy hands around oh? No, this is a scimitar century right now Come on, baby.

Come on.

Bring it up bring it up bring it in baby.

You’re looking good.

I want to see your backside That’s awesome, I’d like to hit it you know what I’m saying, yeah But for real you know oh, yeah, of course real for realsies.

Don’t do it.

Don’t okay.

All right No there.

She is That was unnecessary.

Yeah, watch out.

Nope Yeah, actually keep an eye out cuz it’s like I feel like when she transports she might make a second one somewhere too Oh sure, I’m all like panicky about that shit Oh Well she’s also Yeah, that this is a very involved.

Oh god.

Not again.

Oh, yeah, I just have like a Second form kind of right they start doing oh god.

Oh geez yeah, just keep your distance Yeah, I might just run away from her at this point Easier fucking said than done Oh cheapers, please don’t whoa, please don’t touch me.

I’m very oh geez oh boy Oh dear That one whoa Whoa dude cool, I am I am high and tight over here, you know what I’m saying Oh, no, we’re good man.

It’s totally a boss.

I’ve never fought before yeah, just do it.

You’re doing really well, uh-huh I Think there’s three of them Jesus well, I’m gonna wait for this fucking purple fog.

Okay, okay? Oh right at the end there dang.

What a jerk yeah Okay, let’s try to wail on it a little bit Okay off to a bad start I might want to heal yeah Good call no don’t do it again.

Oh, you’re just transport.

Yeah, whatever no big deal No, oh, we’re in BD, baby Why does she do that? I don’t know doesn’t make a slick a difference Maybe it’s just timed between when she does her crazy purple ness and that like buys her more time Well good I oh you know what it’s really making me nervous too.

Yeah, whoa Stay away is like She might have like a 80% health form or something.

Oh, yeah, little did she’ll just do some move that I’ve never seen before and just Like wreck me yeah.

Oh, it’s very possible Show me what you got nice Broseph I’m in the process of believing in you Never mind You whiffed pretty hard right at my moment of belief you whiffed pretty hard.

It’s just like Like really swung for the fences damn that reach Nope nope Not coming at me now mm-hmm like we a patron now.

Oh god.

Oh, she’s doing it.

Yeah, yeah I’m just going for it really well, dude I might want to be careful about that.

I think take your time cuz there’s no 80% for him oh Or you just fucking did it eat it Arin first try my baby is healthy yeah now you gotta fight the fucking super baby my body is wealthy My rhymes make me well And what is it just gonna stay like this forever? I think you have to find the baby, huh? Oh sure uh? It’s gone dude weird oh there.

We go all right great nightmare slain.

Oh god shit wait.

Where’s the carriage? Oh there it is Mmm that umbilical cord.

Oh, I got the one-third of the umbilical cord.

Yeah good for you what? Yeah, so trying to collect umbilical cords.

Yes, so that is gross so what I’ve heard is Uh So now in this stage of the game now that the nightmare has been Like I started digging into the nightmare or whatever you have a hundred and forty two thousand souls Damn Yeah, okay, sorry, please continue Supposedly there’s four umbilical cords, and you need three to get the real ending Oh, I know where a second one is oh, yeah, let’s get the real ending yeah, dude We’ve yeah, we’ve been through so much for this.

Oh my god um doll what explain yourself What did you do? Wait where the fuck am I? Okay, no no no I didn’t start this episode by being like I’m in a secret place.

You don’t know where I know no I didn’t realize there was a gate here.

This is gate leaves back to ESF guys clinic, okay? Which is right here? It was just the beginning of the game? Oh? But so okay, so here’s the thing right okay? ESF guys kind of a kind of a mean person and since I Killed that white nurse.

Oh, she’s gonna be here now, and I might be able to fight her or she’ll just give me something Oh the wet nurse.

I remember that that was a weird creature to fight.

There’s the one that like split into three Or it like had two false ones Yeah, yes, yes, there was like three total.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think I fucked this mission up What happened? Yeah, I don’t she’s not here.

Okay.

She’s supposed to be here, but it doesn’t look like she’s here Maybe it’s cuz you killed her I Didn’t kill her no.

I didn’t why would you even say that’s weird what? I didn’t kill her.

Yeah, maybe she’s not here because you murdered her put that on the record I didn’t get I didn’t even I’ve never even seen her Wow well cool free blood vials all right, so since she’s not here I fucked up.

I guess so I’m gonna do the next step in this process, so what I’m doing right now is I’m collecting a Umbilical cords right and you need three of them to to get the good ending the true ending as they say yes And I have one from killing the wet nurse, so I need two more Do you know where they are um? Yes, I do did she need to be there in order for you to get one Yeah, that was one of them.

There’s four total that you can get But that’s only one of them so the other two are there that I’m fine Uh fuck I have to think for a second It’s in the Cathedral Ward, okay? So this lady that I saved God this place has a lot of worlds yeah seriously And they’re all connected.

Yeah, it’s crazy.

They’re all like one road Do you ever think about that that that the road in the u.

s.

.

Is the largest? physical structure The road yeah like because all roads are connected.

Oh, yeah, the highway system.

Yeah, yeah Yeah, it’s like the largest building in the world.

That’s that’s pretty crazy um I Remember shit who was it was it Roosevelt or? Roosevelt so one of the presidents of the 40s or 50s was the one who commissioned the highway system to be built really yeah And it was all Like primarily like built around the same time and it’s were people like you’re crazy.

It’ll never happen I don’t know.

I was not a lot I should ask my grandma, but like it’s crazy to think that like before that like There were places.

You’re just like can’t get that from here.

You know like fucking that.

We’re not connected Except by dirt roads and such gross who likes dirt roads.

I mean I used to live on one for like ten years Did you really yeah? I lived out in the middle of nowhere.

That’s right.

You were a farm boy little place in in Florida Called locks a hatchee does it my dad used to call locks a scratchy.

That is a fetus Tell me a story mother This is a nightmare yeah, she just gave birth to this horrible, baby.

Oh Oh, it’s like a it’s like a mazel tov.

Yeah, it’s like an alien, baby So now if I kill this baby, uh-huh Then I get a thing oh Thank you nice It was it was a D.

Don’t worry guys.

It was a demon bit demon, baby It’s okay to kill yeah, don’t worry mazel mazel tov yes Yes, yeah, actually you know what I’m not super comfortable with the proximity of demons and Jews together in this situation But whatever well, I mean we’re celebrating the killing of demons.

Oh good on this episode I will be slapping Dan at least two times throughout the episode.

God.

I hope it’s on each one of my butt cheeks Well now that you want that to happen It’s not gonna happen isn’t it strange how you can slap someone in the butt during sex, and it’s like Fantastic and a heightening of passion and yet if you do it any other time kind of a dick move Well, it’s also like nipple twisting Who are oh man? I’ve never had my nips twisted.

What really yeah, that sounds terrible dude.

It’s awesome I don’t know.

I’m not I’m not super into that Bro, bro, you need to fucking open the book of in your life to the page of nipple twisting You skip that shit, and I bookmark Yeah, hold on I’ll make a photocopy Just 13 more minutes, and we’ll be halfway there Okay, I think this is the place.

I need to be okay.

There’s a secret area.

Oh, yeah, baby Secret okay, so I’ve actually been here I Think that door is the one I need to go to right is that the door I think so okay, I’m gonna oh It’s so tricky.

Oh It’s tricky.

Oh damn it.

Oh I can’t believe you didn’t survive that fall well Tried my best Didn’t happen so many chances to like not all right, so I Wonder if I don’t think I can make it You made it Ray Shit, it was that one.

It was that one god damn it Arin hold on.

Maybe I can still do it Maybe I can I can try I’m gonna try nevermind I swear to God Arin you are grinding my gears now, but oh Okay, okay, okay? It’s right here.

It’s that one with the ropes.

Yeah, it’s this one, so huh wait hold on I think if I fall down this one right Please work little dicey no no no why did you jump fuck god damn it son of a fuck God? It’s there.

Maybe I can oh shit.

Oh I think I might be able to make it if I don’t die really yeah All right Let’s see what happens.

No.

No don’t it’s not gonna work My god, I gotta do it one more time.

Yeah, can you jump from here? Yeah, I feel like I feel like if I Courage is effective take a step forward is it really is that it is that all I have to do All right, I’ll just do it then No, no, it’s no boy.

Oh, I did it, but I died oh Wait oh, it’s gotta be like an easier way Maybe if you just step instead of jumping oh Oh sure like maybe that’s like one little less.

Yeah, yeah, yeah He’ll please okay.

Oh, I did it.

Oh Yeah Great job.

Oh, yeah, all you had to do was step.

Just like all the things said Wow so this is to get to the umbilical cord yeah, this is okay, so check this shit out, okay? This is pretty cool.

Oh my god.

I can’t believe we’re here check out where I am whoa you’re at the source of the dream Check it.

Let’s look familiar.

Oh Shit, is this the real hunters dream? Yeah? This is the real abandoned workshop cool fucking rad is that right? That’s crazy worse of the dream, and is that your doll over there.

Oh, yeah, she’s uh she’s actually at all hey, baby Oh, yeah, and that red.

That’s so crazy.

Don’t pay off to this falling episode Whoa, I got old doll clothes.

Oh yay doll clothes.

What am I you’ll look so pretty how fucking oh god They’re super weak of course.

They’re weak their doll clothes.

Whatever man.

They might be fucking Doll clothes I should I should beat the last boss with doll clothes.

They look really pretty actually Oh check me out, baby.

You’re adorable.

Oh, yeah, look at me.

You’re ready for a night of seamstressing I’m like read your books Don’t don’t do drugs kids Except for the good ones.

I’ll whip your cane wait with my cane.

We gotta find that cord Yeah, what yeah, I already got it.

You got it.

Yeah, bros right next to the doll.

Oh shiz yeah We got the three umbilical cords now.

We did it so we can get to the good ending of the game Oh, yeah, boom BAP to the busy to bat.

What’s up snip snap to the grizzly to grab uh-huh? Fucked up y’all straight up fucked.

You don’t know what we’re doing anymore.

Yeah, that’s it That was a m1.

Yeah, I believe it was yeah love m1.

Yeah, I love him unless that was someone else And that other person love odd boy is it at punk I thought it was a T Punk.

Oh, I don’t know Maybe it’s both.

Yeah, maybe he just goes by two names so is it both.

I thought it was both both both I love movie master Sorry if I left out any of the other ones.

There’s a lot of them Game grumps remixes.

Yeah, DJ.

Cut man did some shit DJ.

Cut man.

Yeah, DJ.

Cut man.

He mastered the steam train theme Did you really yep? I didn’t know that mm-hmm Wow Where am I I love learning fun facts about the shit? I do every day on that steam train, but uh fuck okay, so now I’m headed to a a another secret Margo’s loft Hey, I’m Margo.

Yeah, there’s my lost space.

It’s a it’s a you know.

It’s a studio, but it’s the city No, you mean bro.

No Jimmy.

We’re gonna get where you think this is good get what you pay for so yes I’m wearing my doll clothes now.

I love them.

Did you check out my knee? Do you see what my I did to my knee? Oh your actual knee not your yeah? Yeah, it looks terrible like I was carrying around some shit, and I pinched my knee, and then it just started like bleeding internally Say now.

It’s just black.

Yeah, it looks gross.

It’s pretty gross and it feel it hurts.

Yeah, I’d imagine it does feels painful.

Yeah Don’t much care for pain in most places on my body.

Do you want a um? Do you want me to kiss your boo-boo and make it better you fucking pussy you get an infection first of all and second of? All very very rude of you First of all I am concerned for your health second of all what a dick thing that my god Like wow and I you know I after I immediately fucking cared for you by saying that you didn’t get an infection you just I can go ahead and say some bullshit Listen I don’t for a second think that I don’t care about you, and you’re fucking puss like ways I Like when I get into this this like elevator cage mm-hmm my like gun sticking out, and I like to imagine this shit Well hold on.

I’ll get I’ll wait till it comes down.

I think this one’s broken though, okay So we could be waiting a while come on.

Oh, I mean the doors broken That’s how this secret happens by the way whoa Oh, yeah, that’s guy the doors broken So like when you’re in here your guns just kind of going through the oh, yeah, and I imagine she’s just like Like trying she gets gets like yeah Like a terminator to wear like he gets through the thing Gun is stuck all right here.

We go.

This is the secret right here There’s a window Right yeah Oh not this again my doll clothes will protect me They did not I think I can only do it on the way down It has to be on the way down.

I don’t know yet Did you say yes when you jumped in jump to the window? Well you may be why I just I don’t know I like fucking expressing expressions of positive triumph during moments of huge embarrassing failure Yes, no Yeah, damn it.

I think it actually might be faster to go to the middle area no Yeah, I think I think I think I’m thinking I think I think Think I might yes, I’m sure I’m sure of it.

Okay.

I’m sure of it.

We’re good the bastard of Lauren Lauren must have fucked a lot of people In order to receive that title you know in order to give birth to have a woman be of birth to his baby that he Claims to know I don’t know out of wedlock that was right the longest sentence I’ve ever heard that microphone is pointed straight at your forehead.

Yeah, I know Aim it towards your mouth a little bit.

How’s this there you go, okay cool? Is this because it keeps like like going flaccid on me like yeah, yeah, it keeps like well Oh shit, um should have told me I would have Got you a new mic.

It’s okay.

That wasn’t as you’re bringing a guy like hey, I’m Mike Sup, yeah, not as not as crappy as that old mic.

Yeah, just speak into me Oh, I’ll take it nice.

I’ll take it from here.

All right here.

We go check this out.

Yep.

Yep.

Yep, yep Yeah, shit got it.

It’s it’s really difficult.

I had this trouble too when I was playing on my home game Um how necessary is this it’s super necessary you get the best You get the best Okay so to upgrade weapons you use these like shards uh-huh and After a while you have to get like better and better shards to upgrade your weapon, okay? And now I’m at the point where there’s only one Shard like one level of shard left and you only need one of them And this will take you to a place that gives you that one shard Oh shit, so you can have a super crazy powerful weapon nice.

Yeah All right, I’ll allow it So it’s pretty necessary if you want to be super badass, and I do I got all my zero blood echoes back great All right here.

We go.

This is the one It’s gonna happen And shah yes Did it great job all right now? It’s time for me to get fucking destroyed.

Maybe I shouldn’t do it Wait hold on it actually might be good because I think she has really good arcane Which one’s arcane it’s 20 Or frenzy resistance, okay, it’s 13.

Yeah.

She’s really good against fire Never mind, okay, this is way better.

Yes All right fine.

This is where I haven’t seen your character’s face in so long do my hunters guard Oh, yeah, cuz I got that cool fucking madame poo poo.

Ooh what? Eat a poo poo.

Oh That was like some weird French name for the hat.

She’s wearing.

Ah yes the madame poo poo.

Yeah Ooh nice treasure chest hats do have weird names Like like bouffant yeah and pork pie pork pie.

Oh, yeah, yeah Yeah Strange never fully under that’s great.

Oh, it’s a brain.

Yeah, it’s a brain lady does she see me Oh, yeah, she does.

Yeah, does she see me with her thousand eyes.

Don’t don’t know Everything’s fine Okay, I got frenzied yikes this stuff is disastrous.

It’s really brutal.

Yeah These guys have the potential to kill you in one hit Um so I should probably stay away from them as do so many things at this point.

Yeah, pretty much These fucking walls for all I know yeah, right Wouldn’t be great if you were just walking by and then one of the faces is like hey Like oh hi love what you’ve done with the place Wow really good-looking beautiful Did you did you pay cash or down payment mortgage? Did you mortgage this? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? I thought so Refinanced actually yeah Good move good move in this economy and boom Cool, I did it all right sweet god.

I never noticed how human their bodies are yeah, well.

They’re like women yeah It’s not cool.

Okay These things and Frenzy oh Sweet I did it yay.

Oh, I died a bunch on my home playthrough in this area great job It feels good, man.

I’m telling you man.

It’s the it’s always the opposite if it’s easy for me at home It’s hard for me here.

If it’s hard for me at home.

It’s easy for me here weird fucking bizarre So I get bought the best.

I have the same problem with masturbate These little spiders have faces oh gross yeah, and then they’ve got the mo haircut from Three Stooges You’re waiting up when you just put a bowl on your head, and then like shit, and then use a razor around it Perfect yeah, I love it easiest haircut ever Wow they really do have the mo haircut.

It’s very weird are they supposed to be like priests priests Maybe that could make sense yeah Repent for your sins by the way don’t pay any mind to the fact that I’m a spider.

Yeah, usually whatever um Explanation you give to things that grosses me out the most is probably the most accurate Oh, yeah in this game at least in this game.

Yeah, all right So the the mission that I’m going on right now is um so those brain monsters There’s like a master brain monster, ooh Yeah, she’s a pretty powerful, and I have to um I have to destroy her It is all thanks to later.

Thanks for seriously, so there’s the there’s the mother brain monster Yeah, that’s big.

She’s she’s a little fucked up So here we go great.

No time to waste I I don’t know if you’ve if you noticed walking around sometimes.

There’s like a singing noise.

It’s like Yes, it’s this This thing yeah, it’s like infecting the world’s So now I’m pretty sure it’s dead I Hope it’s dead.

Oh, no shit.

You don’t actually have to fight it.

No well.

I don’t know I actually haven’t gotten Very far in this mission.

I just sort of know what to do well We’re good.

We’re good.

We’re good.

We show a little respect to the person who killed your mother then pranks like well Hang on a sec Cool she used to sing to me in her creepy way Come on fucking frenzy get that I don’t any sedatives Oh, okay, maybe I should bolt paper so I can kill them really fast.

Yeah, I think that’s a good idea You’ve come so far and done things and in the end Yeah, it matters a little bit.

Yeah.

Yeah a little bit everything matters a little bit.

All right.

Don’t know god fucking damn it Make it make it make it make it make it make it make it make it And I know I’m fuck oh geez fuck wait.

Oh, what the fuck.

I’m here now.

Where are you? whoa Whoa, what happened blowing my mind right now? What’s crazy? I’m fucking Whoa really? Yeah, I’m totally in a different spot now They got like a spot.

I was in before For what you oh, yeah, I remember this.

Yeah, if you golems Fuck man, so what you mean to tell me is that when you walk from one place to the second place You’ll be in that second place This shit is fucking thank God.

I’m sitting down Second I Dropped down in order to get the blood rock so I Man, that’s okay.

Well.

I got to make my whoa.

Hey, I got a they should mark that Quidado Pisa mojato All those all those Spanish language signs you see around LA I love reading in like a valley girl style English accent um quidado I never even thought of that I just always um because I had a So oh fuck one of my favorite arcade games is called magical drop.

Okay.

Never heard of it.

Oh dear It’s a puzzle game.

You should go away.

I’m leaving okay It’s called magical drop and I had Before I actually owned the cartridge on an arcade machine.

I played an emulator whoa illegal Revelation um and I had a weird ROM that like Called it every like for some reason the voice pack was just somebody going suidado Mm-hmm, so I just I thought it was weird because that’s Spanish yes, and the game is Japanese So I was like do I have a Spanish version that is weird everybody just says suidado You just growing up speaking English you always assume that like the only possible translation could be From English to something or something to English you know you know you never like think like wow Spanish people learning Japanese Yeah, you know it’s very strange And it makes you wonder what like us like a Spanish Japanese accent must sound to an actual Japanese person Oh, dude, that was interesting too because the the first time The first time I went to Japan We ate at a restaurant, and there was a dude that I guess learned English from a French person Okay, who spoke English right so? He had like a French Japanese accent whoa he spoke English whoa yeah, it was super bizarre.

What did it sound nice? Yeah? Yeah, it was very pleasant But yeah that decks got sort of blew my mind.

I was like whoa what an accent.

Yeah, that’s crazy.

I love foreign accents especially my dad’s Hi, oh God he said some fucking funny shit really yeah.

Oh, yeah, you just you just saw him recently yeah Yeah, well yeah cuz I was hanging out with him.

He was giving me the rundown of what he thought of the new Ninja sex party album yeah, it was it was very.

He was like would you like a Critique I was like you’re gonna.

Give it to me anyway.

I’ll be like there’s no sense in me saying no He was like I like 6969 is the best song you have ever done And I was like that’s really nice.

I’m so happy.

He’s like on the other hand Samurai abstinence patrol that sounds like Starbomb.

I’m like what’s wrong with that.

He’s like Man oh dude yeah, so it sounds like another band.

I’m in like does it really I never thought about that I guess I just cuz it’s wrapped mostly and now I see it also has sound effects and stuff Which is more of a Starbomb thing, but like it was just it was very funny It was very funny to hear his opinions on everything on the other hand.

It’s like oh, yeah.

Yeah, that’s dude When you were talking about that like I can’t remember what book you read it from but like when you say something to somebody and then you’re going to Like make an addendum to that regarding something else you should avoid saying the word But yeah because like as soon as they hear, but they’re like oh, it’s negative, and they just like even if it’s positive Yeah, yeah, it.

Yeah, it immediately has an adverse reaction, so you usually should say and instead of but yeah so it’s like you look great today and Your clothes are stupid And you suck well, it’s usually like It’s hard to think of an example because it’s kind of a complicated speech thing sorry That was just a funny body like lying there like oh, I’m this staircase is in use Don’t don’t don’t don’t talk over my pee bottle Don’t please my pee, but please I’m sorry.

I interrupted you yeah, so if you’re like This song is great, but it could use this right you would say this song is great, and if you wanted to make it better You do this yeah, so it’s less like oh, but yeah, yeah, you’re just compliment sandwiching me exactly exactly So which is weird because a lot of times you don’t even want to like say anything But like that’s the but is the way to continue sentence.

Yeah, you know so Where it’s just conditioning? Conditioning what are you fucking? What are you a dictator? You’re trying to turn everybody into oh god.

You know what what? That’s a new word.

I love dictator Like it’s a potato oh Oh jeez okay, we’re getting like that in the butt cheeks all the fame Dictators great Whoa he’s in a rush nice nicely done.

You played that dangerously.

Yeah, I’m not healing yeah Well, I don’t have any oh dear can you get more yeah, but I’m not at a I’m not at a lantern so mm-hmm.

I’m at a loss right now mm-hmm.

Oh great.

He’s a fucking this guy Oh, yeah, but he’s dead anyway, so it’s fine Why am I worried about a dead man you did? Oh you did? That’s that’s another aqua tea and hunger for his thing like Carl like a creature like is pissing on his lawn And Carl comes out and talks to the shake who’s like with the creature.

He’s like hey, who’s your dead friend? He’s dead I Like Carl me too.

He’s probably the funniest thing on that show he’s very he’s very Jersey.

I am HO.

Yeah Oh, he’s classic anyway next time on game grumps All right, so do you remember the brain okay, so? Do you remember the brain that I made fall yes, all right, so when I did that aside from making the brain fall It activated this little thing right here.

Okay, cuz you know this area right I did before we were just running through it in the Last episode yes, so this is here, so this is gonna.

Take me to the brain.

Oh, I’m gonna fight the brain oh It didn’t squish no It’s weird because generally when you drop a brain and it hits the ground from any height It’s like oh, that’s irreversible damage.

Yeah brains are not very said it, but this brain It’s quite hardy.

That’s the one right there, ooh It’s very dark that’s that’s gross.

Oh, I don’t like this Okay, oh, this is making me uncomfortable This elevators getting a little crowded, okay, I think I’m gonna grab this Dirty damp blood gem okay all right now.

I think if I just do this That’s what they called me in prison the dirty damp blood gem Apparently this is a little easter egg.

I hope I’m doing it at the right time and I’m So if you just if you just stand here until she changes pose you know sometimes.

She’s like oh my arm got tired Yes, yes, then you get a special thing.

Oh, okay.

I’m trying to make contact with this brain monster, so Go ahead and do it and a minute now come on come on girl I Know you like doing that pose and all but come on girl gotta switch it up.

Do you believe it love well? I got something to say about it, and it goes a little something like this don’t go For second best baby put your love to the test you know you know you got to I’m sorry I Just felt like really belting out Madonna there Yes, and That it’s a Great job is it No eight fucking do I have to like activate it or something? Don’t You dare look at me Malformed thing okay, maybe I have to get like closer to it Is that the brain like let us oh, I see it now.

I didn’t see it It’s way grosser than I thought it would be Time for contact okay, okay Here we go hmm It’s about to contact you by fucking stabbing the shit out of you, okay? You can see me see oh, yeah, I’m all illuminated Okay Chill out there horrible monster make him express How you feel and baby, then you know your love is real is there a song called make contact There has to be but like the Wizards.

There’s the daft Punk song contact, which is my favorite fucking song by them is it Yeah, what’s that song? That’s the one? It’s the last song on the most recent album.

Oh the one that starts with the Recording yes, yeah, dude.

It makes me want to scream.

It’s so awesome.

How does that song go? It’s like winning and then and then and and and and and and and and and and and it’s it’s it’s an insane crazy thing It’s very hard to isn’t that the only sampled song on the entire album I don’t know like that the whole first like loop is I think sampled yeah Hey Oh, that’s awesome.

I just got a moon stone though it from another dude.

Okay great.

That’s weird But still it’s nice all right.

Well well here.

We go.

Well now that we’re friends time to stab you with this complex Treats you oh there.

He goes you did it you did it He therefore you must accept execution.

Oh, oh, I think I just have to kill it God oh Oh, no.

Oh geez oh God oh It’s what a shame.

This is possibly my least favorite thing we’ve ever encountered.

I mean It’s easy.

Yeah, it’s I mean not from a difficulty standpoint from a pure grossness standpoint Yeah, I get that like I’m scared like maybe it’ll just like yeah decide Yeah, now.

It’s just a huge gross brain.

I try I made contact with it, but yeah, I didn’t want to make contact so whatever It did make oh God, it just has to watch you as you fucking do yeah, that must hurt This is making me imagine a tiny little hunter.

Just like Slamming at your eye.

Yeah This is not treating those frosted flakes.

I ate earlier very well at all What a shame Well at least I got the living string weird that that’s the first time it screamed Yeah, it wasn’t like the first 80 to fucking 95 hits Cool, now.

It’s raining blood great so everything.

We’ve done up to this point.

It’s good for kids all for good Yeah, all for the good.

Well that was disgusting.

Let’s get out of here.

See ya What’d you think damn bye? Oh, I loved it.

Oh cool.

Yeah feel good head of the summer.

Oh, I should have whoa All right, yeah going past that other elevator really gives you a sense of like how fast you’re going yeah I like to imagine.

There’s like another person in there.

They’re like whoa.

Oh jeez jeez okay? I already got him I already got him.

Yeah.

Yeah, don’t worry about it.

I don’t think you heard me Yeah, no, it’s and if you did there was like a weird Doppler effect, so it was kind of like Yeah, he’s gonna get down there and be like oh, I can’t get wait to get that moon.

We’re all Geez I’m ready to make contact whoo Dang it All right, so I guess I’m just gonna go back to Hunter’s dream, and I’m gonna level up my shit, okay, and then Fuck what else am I gonna? Do I guess I could? I’m just trying to do like all the extra stuff before the final boss cuz Final bosses are we there.

Yeah.

I mean it’s in Hunter’s dream.

Actually.

Holy shit.

No way yeah there’s no more bosses other than this main boss I There might be some secret bosses that I don’t know about yeah, but uh, but they’re optional Yeah Okay, so whoa that’s crazy.

I think we’re I think we’re it well We have the um we have the chalice missions, which I’ve never actually done So I’m gonna try one just just for the show yeah, give it a shot um also because maybe it’ll be super fun I don’t know Well, I mean like we’ve come so far might as well like see all there is to say yeah, there’s there’s There’s DLC coming out sometime soon D click and cock I’m sorry what? What is DLC stands for? Downloadable content.

Oh, yes of course All right so last boss is right over here.

Oh my god.

He was here the whole time.

He was actually oh shit Oh damn is it is it that super sinister thing look lurking in the background where the blue ish Bluish yeah in the sky no no on the on the stones Over here.

Yeah, it looks pretty sinister.

I don’t know those are just stones all right well shit No, it’s it’s this guy in the wheelchair Get out of here.

Yeah Don’t mind me.

Yep.

I’m just the final boss hunter You’ve done well The night is near its end sure is mm-hmm now.

I will show you mercy All right, so I haven’t looked into this.

I meant no mercy Nya ha and awake under the morning Sun So I haven’t looked From this terrible hunter’s dream appreciate it all right haven’t looked into this But submit your life.

I’ve only ever refused him, which means you fight him Yeah, it doesn’t sound like something you should fucking agree to yeah, if you submit your life I don’t know what happens, but I’m not gonna try.

I don’t think it’s the good ending so I’m gonna refuse yeah And what if I refuse Immediately oh shit dear what was it? A hunt the blood or the horrible dream.

I don’t know maybe it was the hours and hours I’ve spent in this terrible nightmare Seeing oh my god, you can walk yeah, of course you can walk to me Look at him.

He’s so bad.

Oh, this is rad.

Yeah When I gotta fight him He’d always comes down to the hunters help her to clean up after these sorts of messes Who spilled the milk? Yeah? Did you spilled the milk? Oh shit? Oh you sure did spilled a milk? This dude is uh yeah.

He’s no joke Oh, it’s Garriman Is he Garriman? He’s like a Smash Brothers character.

Yeah, Garriman joins the hunt.

Oh All right, so quite a reach on that scythe.

Yeah, whoa Oh, okay.

He’s a tough one.

Oh geez so yeah here we go damn I’ve never beaten him so great.

Okay, okay, all right.

You’ve done.

No damage Yeah, fortunately you could just run right around the corner and get some blood vials.

Nope.

It’s it’s blocked off right now dang it Don’t whoa this dude’s like vampire hunter D.

Yeah, he’s out of control.

Holy shit stop stop.

Oh So uncool.

He like barely gets stunned too.

Yeah, yeah I gotcha gotcha, baby.

Oh damn Yeah, dim-dim do don’t don’t do it Come here, baby Yes Yes Oh, dude, you’re doing pretty well.

Oh, you know what I should do.

I should turn on this This is not nastiness.

Oh nice Okay, hmm.

You know what I should do.

I should really like attack his scythe with my soft body I’ll do a good start.

Super effective.

Oh now he’s got his gun out.

Oh shit Oh Chill out bro.

What were you even doing in that wheelchair? You silly billy? Just trying to get a better parking space Run seats at the Lakers game come on Who you kidding oh gosh oh Okay that great time for my dual shock get low on batteries awesome Ah, frick.

Jeez.

There’s no way, there’s no way dude How how do you do this? I’m not ready for this.

How do you get ready? I mean you just got to learn his pattern man That’s all it’s about Okay, this is good Oof you’re actually kind of right on schedule Yeah, I guess so Just got to do a little more damage before you use your next blood vial.

Well there went your opportunity.

Whoa, whoa, whoa All right come here, baby Yes, yes Something I don’t maybe this is bad.

Oh Great.

Oh good.

Oh, you can teleport Marvelous yeah, no he’s got I don’t know what’s going on.

He’s got the eye of the Jew.

Oh, okay I kind of figured that was a so is it gonna Gherman boy there are lily blossoms are aware.

Oh you are not a wheelchair man.

No, that’s not good That cross-represented Jesus, I’ll thank you to not oh god damn stop damn That’s it for me.

You must accept your death.

I guess I will oh damn He even goes for the like fuck you thing at the end.

Yeah, that’s that’s that’s one thing that Games still I don’t understand.

It’s like why do they keep attacking you they’re dead I? Feel like it would take like one little line of code to be like when dead enemies don’t attack anymore.

Yeah Just do the Mario Koopa Troopa thing and just kind of look around Well Well that went well good good thing.

I used up all my blood vial all my echoes.

You know I just well It’s okay.

I can just sell some shit, okay Good God, I don’t want to sell anything all these holy chalice ritual things just sell that shit, man Like what are you holding on to it for I guess that’s true Level up all my all my jams your bloodstone chunk.

It’s like the world’s worst ice cream flavor ah Shit, I fucking did it again I sold my remaining blood vials such an idiot God the fuck is wrong with me Always when I take a sip of a beverage you always coming to me with art advice oh Sure, you always come to me with like a like a print, and then you’re like hey Does this look alright, and it’s like it was like drawn with crayon by like a three-year-old.

Yes, and I’m like Dan It’s very good.

That’s a blood stain on a piece of paper.

It’s going right on the fridge I Love it.

Yeah, it’s great.

You did a great job.

I would you pay money for this no, it’s totally cool like earth money That’s great All right, so now I have tons and tons of money, okay Uh I’m gonna get some more blood vials.

I can get 97 if I wanted damn.

Yeah, can you level up in strength? Yeah, so I’m gonna do that I’m gonna get like 40 blood vials, okay Okay, I might need to sell some more stuff to level up damn it.

No.

It’s cool.

Okay, whoa tomb prospector Yeah, you’re never gonna wear that I don’t want to buy it what the fuck sell it.

Oh, I didn’t I don’t have it.

I thought I thought I had it I was all excited who the Yargul black garb I Guess I’ll get rid of it.

Ooh tough decisions pretty pretty cool Let’s get rid of everything.

I guess yeah, dude sell the fucking farm, man The menses cage I bet that does something, but whatever yeah, it’s ugly I That does not fit your wardrobe.

It makes you look really stupid.

Yeah, Trey gosh Trey go yeah, what is gosh? It’s a French word for um stupid I Think just unfashionable oh I could be wrong that Trey gosh.

I feel like I should get rid of these insights I don’t know if it affects and whatever All right here.

We go again, baby.

I’m gonna fight A garmin this is gonna be the one do you want to rub your bolt paper? Yeah? We’ll do it when I get in here Okay, cool Back for more I see he’s like huh geez Here we go again Hot looks like someone enjoys my scythe Someone enjoys getting their ass whoa God, man It is really like disconcerting.

How fast he is jeez man stop Yeah, take that yeah, whatever is on an electric key bra Yeah, that’s what you get for messing with the best I guess Way to bring it home with the confidence yeah, yeah God what that move is bullshit you want you mess with the Bulls you get the horn the horns Yeah, you is it the horns you you’ve experienced me at my worst.

You both have horns deserve me at my best You don’t want none of a piece of this This this this cream pie you’ll get none of damn it.

Oh Stop oh I want to try to get that visceral that I got last last time you remember that oh, yeah, yeah Nice, I broke you, baby It’s gonna do it.

No.

Oh, he’s gonna do it, but he didn’t do it.

Oh Don’t do that.

Yeah, don’t don’t Stop no.

Yeah, how do you like that? Oh? He didn’t like it.

No no no God.

It doesn’t seem that way no God Damn everything’s fine.

Everything’s fine.

Give me the vapors over here.

Yeah, don’t worry all right Every action has an equal and opposite ass-kicking for you Yeah, here.

We go fuck you fuck you.

I’ll fucking lay it on lay it on thick, baby a big dick, baby Check this out whoa shit careful.

This is I was gonna attack him.

This is the time when he fucks you up every time 90% of the time he fucks you up 30% of the time yeah Don’t do it.

Don’t do it.

Oh boy Boy, he literally just an anime pose what a fucking diva Oh, no, no he completely backed it up with substance and skill.

It’s kind of cool.

Oh, it’s kind of going okay I don’t want to jinx myself though.

I’m getting greedy careful.

Yeah, play it cool You had a good blood vial ratio.

Just play it cool.

Ooh He just did this soupy sweepy seep Yes, he did That’s what I’m gonna call it, and that’s what it’ll be that’s what it is.

Oh, that was a one-hit.

K.

Oh whoa Oh, holy crap.

How do you even do it? He just did the anime pose in the air and just did the thing oh Do you see that? Oh, I saw it.

That was crazy.

You got your ass Well, I guess next time I got a fucking Get the fuck out of the way of that, okay Jeez, man.

Well.

I’ve got tons of blood vials, so I’m cool.

Yeah, everything’s great cool, baby I wonder if he’s weak to fire more than he is weak to pull paper You want me to look it up.

I’m gonna try that.

Oh, I’m just gonna try it okay Okay Cuz I got plenty of fire paper right now nice All right here.

We think this is this is for this is for most of the beans in the can really Yeah, there was like a little bean spill, so yeah, yeah there there there will be a remainder of beans Yeah, you can’t expect to have all the beans.

No.

I mean that’s just unrealistic greedy fuck you think you can have all my beans Wow what is that? What are you paying attention 342 was that a lot? Jeez um Wow Jiminy Jill occurs Batman doesn’t appear to be doing a Shit ton of that don’t do that, bro See like a bar tussle, but this guy it’s bro, bro, bro Oh, he’s like.

I’m not job, bro.

Yeah, I died a hundred thousand years ago You come at me like like I’m a friend of yours.

I’m buying me a bear Damn, I mean, I’ll take it, but yeah, obviously.

I’m not gonna.

I’m gonna pretend like I’m endeared to you Yeah, it’s nice if you’re a bro as the NSP song says that’s very considerate of you.

Thank you FYI I want to f your a that was one of my favorites for a long time that I can’t take full credit That was mostly Brian really that well.

It was his basic idea.

We sat there for fucking three nights thinking up acronyms Whoa There was a line in there that always makes me laugh every time I hear it But I can’t think of it right now because I’m fighting the last boss of the skin I’ll really pound your groin as you achieve, but climax and make sex great But climax always gets me.

Yeah, but climax is pretty good.

Well be careful.

Oh Here comes the anime.

How’d you know that was the line? Did you just knew that was the that’s the line? I’m proudest of oh, so yeah, I assumed whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa? Bro, you just need to whale on him, bro.

That’s the name of the game, dude He just visceral me holy fuck.

Oh he didn’t, but he stunned me.

Okay, whoa hey I guess if you just like get right up in his business.

He’s okay.

Okay.

Oh too much business.

Yeah, yes Yeah, we need to close the business But it’s not an investment that is sound yeah, I know they put it in bonds much safer.

Oh stop Yeah, oh God you’re so close.

I know Play cool play cool.

I know I’m trying to here comes the thing Oh, yeah, he’s gonna do this thing whoa All right, that’s fine.

Everything’s good Yeah, he’s on Okay, yes, oh Geez that’s the move that gets me okay.

Oh boy.

Oh, I’m nervous Fudge Fudge Fudge Oh Keep violin keep violin okay.

Oh god.

I made that move don’t do that move bro.

Don’t do the thing Night in the dreamer long oh, but my dick is longer.

Oh got my big dong Yeah, oh my god, Arin.

I thought we would be here all fucking night Can we turn it up a little bit, I don’t even know if that was that oh shit whoa whoa uh-oh is it Oh, that wasn’t the last boss I go Dang, it kind of makes sense doesn’t it oh crap Yeah, that’s uh Maybe it’s a good guy.

Yeah Maybe this is a friend Oh, yeah, I know gross.

I don’t know about that That is just a messed up.

Oh, oh oh It’s hugging you.

Yeah, that’s so oh it’s so tender.

It loves you those tentacles must be so comfortable That it is that all good.

Okay wait.

I think that was the end man oh Was it me am I in the chair now? Oh, oh hell yeah, I am oh shit This is the good ending Wait dude I have to like present him with the umbilical.

I don’t know I think I just have to have them Get the whole fuck out of here.

I might have had to use them before I fight him.

Are you serious? Yeah, maybe I don’t know That did not feel like a good ending dude.

I gotta be honest Let me check my sources you’re trapped forever in the hell realm credits No way, man.

Maybe that maybe the other endings are just like yeah, you get poked with a like a like a needle You’re like face loads.

Yeah, and then okay, so let’s see umbilical cords Let’s look up if you do that if you can’t do that.

Oh boy.

Oh boy umbilical cords God damn it.

Just fucking just yes the third umbilical cord The name three of mine different American one blah blah blah flipping metric system These forums are completely out of good.

God damn it It’s like a real ending Blood-borne oh boy of that shit how to get the true ending and blood-borne Yeah, that doesn’t look like the ending we got yeah, it’s like remotely like it how to get the true ending Umbilical cord get them all I Know that okay refuse okay You got three pieces eat them all yep Yep, you got to eat them.

Yeah, I want me just got to use them, okay Did you not use them? No? I didn’t I know I’m gonna body slam.

I just fought Gherman and that was it But it’s cool It’s fine It’s not a big deal all right here.

We go a goddamn game fight him again.

Not a big cheese Perhaps we should skip this there’s no skipping it dirt I Pressed all the buttons except for options.

Oh god.

I guess uh Alright time to fight Gherman again, but this time.

I’m gonna eat those umbilical cords.

Oh That’s good.

Well.

I hope it lets me go back.

I hope it doesn’t new game plus me because that would really suck Because it’s totally saving right now.

I could I could well.

We’ll see what oh boy no man Oh boy, really, man.

It’s cool Don’t worry about it.

It’s cool.

It’s not the coolest.

That’s cool.

We can just Just I don’t know just play it play the ending.

I’m sure we can play that Totally how it is wait.

Oh is this like oh boy second ending No, this is the beginning dude.

Oh, this is the beginning.

Yeah.

Oh, this is a new game plus, okay? Yeah, so I’ve got all my shit now, and I can restart the game okay things like really strong Okay But yeah, maybe if I like maybe if I exit and Then and then come back I can I can fight Gherman again.

I got a um if you can’t That’s gonna be really fucking funny.

No.

It’s not it’s cool Just went through all the effort to get the umbilical cords and Yeah, well it was a fun adventure.

You know it’s not it’s not the destination.

It’s the journey.

That’s kind of the Journey that makes the matters you know here we stand and worlds apart hearts broken in two Alright hearts broken in two eta poo-poo well I Guess I guess I’ll just have to beat the whole game again to get to the to get to the boss oh My fucking god really well.

I mean you know it’s not a big deal.

It’s a big really I mean, it’s just cuz I could just blast through this game again.

You get pretty quick really like off-camera No, yeah, no like right now in the finale really yeah, I’ll totally we’re just gonna do it like a 75-hour episode No, no, no I can do it really quick now.

I mean you saw how quickly I did the The first playthrough was it was only like it was only like 60-something episodes Un-fucking-believable, I just I didn’t I’m sorry.

I didn’t remember I thought if we just This is the most game grumps appropriate ending of any playthrough we’ve ever got no well Let’s just look it up on YouTube, and I’ll put Kevin to put it up, and we can really do that Oh, yeah, of course rip it off YouTube.

Yeah sure all right.

Here’s the real ending just give give credit to whoever fucking Whoever fucking played it before we did actually accomplished something in life, okay? See you soon, okay here.

We are Watching the true final boss and end yeah, so the dude comes down like normal.

I guess it’s see I think it’s a girl oh seems feminine God, it’s got like Medusa hair or whatever come to me.

I want to kiss you I love the way a booty taste whoa no not babies cuz you got umbilical cords in them oh So I guess it like freaks the fuck out that you have all this juice in you Oh Okay, oh God you fight.

Oh you do have to fight.

Oh, no.

Oh, this is much less impressive now that we’re just watching this damn it Okay, well whatever we can’t get back to it.

Well Kuro kazuma.

You’re doing a great job.

Yeah, dang look at this shit I wish I was fighting it jeez son of a bitch.

You could have fought this fucking awesome.

Damn it.

What’s it called? Uh the moon present.

Oh boy.

I guess so this is like the alien that all the shit came from Yeah, like came from the moon and now Dude, if this is real I fucking love moon shit right yeah, I’m convinced.

There’s a I mean I’m not but I Just like to believe that there’s a fucking alien base on the moon It’d be rad if there was some dark side of the moon.

Yeah, God this thing is really skithery This guy’s doing a great job though.

Good job Kuro kazuma.

Yeah, can’t stress enough.

How not Arin.

This is Playing this right now Wow Damn hats off to you, buddy Put it put a cap put an annotation to Kuro kazuma.

Yeah, God bless Let’s get stealing his content into this video in particular Dang look at this look at this.

He’s going he’s going nuts.

It’s going crazy balls But there’s the first vials they used to kill him yeah, they do he was kicking crazy god damn All right, see I’m glad I didn’t do it cuz that probably would have taken like three episodes.

Yeah.

Yeah, this is much more Nightmare slain slain nightmare for sure Great fucking job.

Good job Kuro Kuro Now what now you’re just in the wheelchair let the nightmare begin in there same thing oh The doll she’s so nice She’s like oh you dropped your squid here you go put it back in tank I feel so good.

It’s like it’s like that slugs like rocking out to slugs meme what you became a slug Whoa no way really why that’s the good ending what the fuck oh? Yeah, so you become a slug the end would do you become the next moon presence is that what it is I guess God damn this game She is you should have just been like yes fucking get me the fuck out of here when Gherman asks you Please that’s uh Yeah, that’s a good point That’s that’s probably what should have been done.

There’s like analysis is online what um? What does it look like when you say yes? Can we look at that one? Oh the yes ending? Yeah, like when you like you’re like yeah, kill me.

Oh sure um God, this is like the end of Wayne’s world.

What’s it called? Blood born yes ending let’s say that Blood born oh I don’t know.

I don’t know if I can find it segregated all three endings There’s three endings.

Oh Yeah, I guess so Blood born yes ending.

I don’t know if that’s the real yeah, let’s just look at this one hunter.

Okay here.

We go No, I will show you mercy cool.

You will die Forget the dream.

Yeah, I heard you the first time brah You will be freed yeah, I know from this terrible hunters tree.

Yeah, you say so but yeah I mean she’s all right true my keen hunter keen hunter here the blood the blood And Credits yeah, no, okay He starts like putting his hand up your butt.

You’re like oh He’s like sorry.

I have to release you from this tree Right yeah, that’s just how it works buddy.

The only way I don’t like it either.

Oh gosh.

This is horrible.

Oh Is he just gonna kill you oh? He’s just gonna slice off your head oh Damn, well that’s very cinematic and Shink Dang sorry yeah all that for nothing But No pomp and circumstance.

He was just like I caught off your head now.

They yeah, that’d be a deal It’s not really a big deal.

I guess how do you wake up though? Can’t wake up.

You’re right.

Sorry oh No, I’m on it.

This is much more interesting than the like better endings Is this yarn um oh Oh Gee I woke up from a crazy head chop bender I gotta drink some water and some bread What do you play this ending now oh Shit did he keep his word are you like actually okay now whoa? So you aren’t I’m just like great again, so the good ending is just not fighting the final boss at all Wow from the nightmare oh, there’s more oh wow I’ll miss her how she used to Use me for leveling up and stand next to me in my outfit and do weird poses I’ll miss her We had some good times together farewell good hunter.

Yeah May you find your worth in the waking world? Yeah sure Wow, that’s a much nicer ending.

Yeah, seriously All right well damn There you go.

Well shit.

There’s all the endings for you.

Holy crap.

Well.

I hope you enjoyed that it’s all depressing none of its fun Yeah, no and next time on Game Grumps next time on Game Grumps something different.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F82a6bTBUKM