How about Demolition Girl? The strangest video game

somebody touch her my spaghett

I I’m always doing that always oh it’s

just they don’t eat it they just yeah

just want to caress the spooking my

spaghett somebody’s finger at my

spaghetti yes this is a good one for the

cold open because it says doing a very

up-to-date meme the somebody touching my

spaghetti yeah it also looks like I’m

doing important computer over here he’s

he’s hacking in I’m hacking in

[Music]

laughs

hello everyone and welcome back to

weirdest games ever it’s 2023. happy New

Year happy yeah happy New Year of weird

games

[Music]

great this is also with you yeah indeed

and you and yours this is the show where

we play weird video games that were sent

in by you in December just gone thanks

for sending weird games in thank you

they were

um we have three roles on this show only

one of them gets a fancy graphic and the

boring games victim at someone’s bends

by the Box rubbish games master that

means I get a fancy dress thing whoa

yeah yeah yeah

[Music]

useless third party useless third party

uh Peter you are in the hot seat today

you are playing the weirdest game and by

Joe we’re starting this year off with a

banger

is my my lapels touching my Michael I’m

just very much my lapels

let me just bulge my there we go yeah as

it should be yeah excellent today Peter

you’re playing

demolition girl

demolition girl demolition girl uh this

is a very obscure PlayStation 2 game and

you’re gonna learn all about it and

you’re gonna be made to feel

uncomfortable about it and we’re all

going to blame Kieran for it yeah in

just a moment is she like um you know

how we’re trying to get women into like

more manual labor jobs you know get

women to be plastered she’s not working

in construction she’s not okay is she in

a bikini I’m glad you asked yes she is

good but in what context

reap oh what’s going on um red sky at

night Shepard hey there’s a giant lady

there is a giant lady yes woman what do

you want me to do I don’t know what do

you want to do how are you 60 or 50 has

that feel good yeah

all right game is started did that just

say no the question is do we get a

little cutscene before the main menu we

don’t okay good is that her that’s her I

think well we’ve got some little colors

at the bottom

uh for fun yeah those are for later is

that tele text coming through yeah

bursting out Jesus uh would you like to

know a little bit about this it’s just

like the Persona 5 menu wow isn’t it wow

red and black and stylish that’s

incredible also known as the dibesian

the gigantic Beauty demolition girl is a

vehicular combat game developed by

tamsoff for the PS2 and released on the

20th of May my birthday

2004. is she the vehicle no good you

gotta take her out

is that on your on your 12th birthday

this came out I was very excited to get

a copy of the dibesian the gigantic

Beauty which one do you want to do menu

story I like that she’s just kind of

sassing around just being a silhouette

she’s just chilling sketching getting

ready to six missions of story mode here

we go hello I’m Rio Futaba Futaba I’ve

considered to

Nicki Minaj Island okay hour yeah oh the

weather is nice and the shoot is

progressing normally no that’s normal

then that’s what I like for my shoots

pictures are turning out oh really well

she’s got attacked by a crab tiny crab

it got her on the nose oh how bright the

sun right is this going to be a nuke is

this Godzilla no oh uh-oh an alien what

is it

huh what was that what was that what was

it what is it a jellyfish maybe yeah

touch it let’s touch it should be fair I

would touch it too

ah why did it do whatever ocean blur on

her hand I feel dizzy no she’s collapsed

she said that as she fell third oh

[Music]

she’s getting blurry shot yeah a good

measure sure a giant creature appears

emergency news just in from Okinawa

where a gigantic creature of Unknown

Origin has appeared on Nicki Minaj

Island oh no the only thing left in the

area is a television broadcast is

helicopter our mission is to gather data

on the creature and send it back to base

defend the helicopter transporting reho

from the unidentified flying object he’s

beating the game in different ways can

unlock Secret swimsuits for reho oh

Secret swimsuits 10 reporting live from

Nicki Minaj Island where we’ve got a

tree

on our new helicopter our news

helicopter and a machine gun of course

that’s fun you ready salty salty

salty cake cake yes cake yeah what is

the speaker what is pins glasses and

some pinson’s glasses what are those I’m

not sure we’re gonna find out I suppose

Tam news

hello hello

she’s very calm a giant creature

suddenly appeared to the southeast of

minakojima so far no damage been

reported but given its huge size

yeah it is fair that as it moves the

crit will cause damage to private houses

and to the Island’s infrastructure no we

can’t have that according to official

reports a giant creature looks very

similar to a human being weird that with

people clothes therefore it has been

decided that extreme care must be taken

from now on it’s good that her bikini

got big with her because it is the

National Guard is currently handling the

situation stop looking at me yeah they

look to be handled just looks to the

same three as well yeah let’s shoot it

the mission involves measuring the

dimensions of giant girl’s body all

right those are your orders sure I

reckon she’s like a

a b it’s like a a 34C maybe

four trillion 34 trillion c um the road

must be pointed at the same zone for a

few seconds so be careful I wonder which

bits they’ll make you scan

I think you know just um like elbows

head size yeah penis penis Venus so I’m

just gonna say Obviously oh there we go

right so you’ve got breast hips buttocks

and face

the way you should always look at women

that’s how you measure hips buttocks

then if you want 180 seconds for the

breast 150 this is science now 120

seconds but not 130 seconds okay three

minutes of looking at boobs right you

can press up to go forward or down to

retreat hey it’s not go back my breast

hips buttocks and face are up here yeah

right go on oh

what was that

oh my God this is her face what she’s

looking at shouldn’t it was annoys me

when

movies do this I just watched Monsters

versus Aliens the other day great movie

and you know the giant woman in that oh

yeah why isn’t her voice like super deep

because her voice should be crazy that’s

what should happen Cameron Diaz isn’t

she

quit oh it looks like it’s good no it

just suddenly turns I wanted to scan

she doesn’t like it why would she it

kind of reminds me

um Kingdom Hearts the way that like the

the percentage meters there

maybe this inspired Kingdom yeah

oh did you bounce off her oh bloody oh

is she taking a swing at you I think she

just ran full force

there she is Retreat so Retreat wow

destroying things well sort of she’s

she’s standing up yeah she’s kind of

avoiding most most of the houses so I

think what are you going to scan now

buttocks

we have three minutes of scallion oh

you’ve done a bit of faces as well maybe

I’m not really sure what’s happening I

think you have to start with boob that’s

fortunately I can scan boob from behind

oh bloody old do you have a health bar I

don’t think you do do you or is that in

the bottom right I think it’s the color

of your helicopter scanning yeah

okay it’s hip time

[Music]

this is what I that’s what I say when

I’m like you know at the bar data on

chest acquired now focus on hits

have received my

who like some cake or Pepper or

something classes I’m not sure what

those are oh bloody hell you’re shooting

her now yeah pew pew yeah see if you can

destroy this what’s my M weapon how do I

oh oh

I launched a giant game oh my God she’s

sitting down to eat oh so now she’s not

moving around you that’s how you get

with you trapped the woman with it sort

of like a wooden box with a stick

attached to it yeah and and a piece of

string and then some cake in it I guess

maybe quite Continental but cake is a

Girl’s Best Friend it is the amount of

times I get attractive

under it yeah it’s a daily occurrence I

have to call you guys I can’t come into

work right now I’m stuck under it yeah

the cake again it’s because somebody put

a nice slice of Victoria sponge under a

box let’s get another science fact in

here yeah

the game tells the story of rijo oh your

vehicle sustained very serious damage oh

my God she’s just kicked you yeah in the

bottom right I think that’s your color

of your helicopter

underneath I can’t Retreat Retreat let

me show you what happens so you’re

stationary and then you press down

and then it starts going good it takes

it before whatever so it’s really

difficult to um so that what you’re

saying is that there’s a very high skill

ceiling

yeah right so this game tells the story

of rijo a bikini model who becomes a

giant after being stung by some sort of

alien jellyfish you are then given the

task of measuring yeah you take off the

role of a helicopter jet and tank while

reho ran pages around Japan causing

destruction of Mayhem gameplay varies

measuring reho chasing her down a

highway and protecting her sleeping form

from Alien squids while flying over the

ocean

right what a game would you like to see

what that mystery final weapon was yes

please

right through her face what is it look

at her face maybe she’s got glasses on

yeah has it got like a big nose and a

mustache on it no it did there’s some

sort of she she yawning is it some kind

of um

is it sleepy time oh God it’s not

working there we go her hand was in the

way

oh she’s gonna start moving any second

she’s gonna start flailing again

um

69. yes yes okay oh off she goes gotta

go so so close

Mission play come on now we know her

head height yeah that’s what I’m talking

about well they’re saved gotta go

you’re a hero Peter clear time

quite high this much it’s a lot of it’s

a lot of time look at all those times

there fuselage damage I nearly got 100

that you know nearly maxed out the level

well very good

thank you

narcotic shots oh wow okay I’m gonna get

a high special arm can we put speakers

she does a dance oh yeah she’ll dance

won’t she

what are they I know what they do sort

of they made us stand there for a while

but what are they I’ll do the cake again

pretty successful and we’ll we’ll oops

I’ll go around the front and watch her

eat the cake next time because if you

could the important shot that we need

try my very best to get this video

demonetized yeah well that’s already

happened time news Tim tabs what who

since it’s not possible to understand

what her intentions are yeah even though

she can speak the National Guard is

planning to capture rijo fataba by using

an anesthetic okay

right okay oh just a big oh my God it’s

just been surrendered on it this is the

only way could you try talking to her we

know that she’s enticed by cake no one

has tried talking to her yet or putting

cake under a big box

anesthetic in a big cake the largest car

key bust down that building you’ve got

to shoot her in the head maybe what

about the neck or a baby where else do

you um

that’s what girls do isn’t it isn’t it

Skip hello

got yet no

I did it

surely they’ve got to do it in the

vagina now oh yeah oh do I have to do

two shots

that was in the bottom am I missing is

that yeah

that one here it’s going down anyway

maybe the more you counting down before

when I when I hadn’t hit oh god I’ve got

to get round

stay still a cake cake time yeah or

speaker put some music on

okay there we go now get her speak Mr

Speaker dance

fire

here in the spine yeah you’ve got to hit

her in the between the shoulder blades

shoulder blades

here’s a new science bike for you yeah

suck at other territories this was Japan

and Europe exclusive oh yeah what do you

think about it I don’t think this is I

don’t think the Japanese will be into

this game that’s very true this is

extremely European and its sensibility

yeah

why is that not okay it’s giving me some

sort of indicator as though I am doing

it right but it’s going like oh God

she’s so

check it out

I’m stuck in the street Retreat Retreat

I’m trying oh very serious damage oh no

oh she’s coming back for another go

bloody music

that seemed like a good hit oh there’s a

box

and just keep it in the same spot yeah

okay well I might just wait for all yeah

it’s just a countdown timer until you

can shoot her again

spends most of her time just walking

away from me yeah let’s let’s do the

cake let’s it’s cake time yeah don’t

forget the bowl whatever she does with

that

oh

she’s dazed now quick fire

oh hit them titties oh no that one

didn’t last long at all

[Music]

that is how they tend to put women under

our Hospital

anesthetic at uh our boobs yeah new year

new us right yeah what’s she doing now

she’s foraging she’s just painting The

Sea playing with the water

here we go nearly there 30 percent

oh damn it stay still okay now uh bot

bot again I can’t help but notice that

it’s giving us lots of options

um on the left of body parts but it’s

only really going between three

locations oh stop it cake Time cake

tactical game I’m gonna shoot her in her

cake look at the size of that cake

gigantic

it does it looks delicious like a big

cartoon cake head front off hat shoot

her in the face

oh God

but we have no idea I think she is what

her intentions are just have a

conversation with the woman some sort of

creature I don’t I don’t know it looks

like a human what is it it’s an analogy

of being a teenage boy it’s like you

know here is woman what are her

Dimensions I mean a bad teenage boy yeah

no this isn’t how you should be oh she

does and you know she can’t just you

could just speak to her just talk to the

lady talk to them just talk to the nice

lady no no we need to work out our

intentions by oh I don’t know by just

following from a distance yeah

damn it it’s not giving us anything on

the back has it for ages

you know she’s come stop spinning I feel

like there’s no point me even trying to

get around here with your other weapons

isn’t she like gets did she sort of stop

yeah yeah oh

right where’s it gonna be it’s gonna be

head is the best one

sort of

okay front of her legs Jesus and she’s

bending down in front of us building a

look at the people inside like a

sylvanian doll’s house

okay

you’re so close

so close oh come on

that’s it this is done

come on we are waiting for you at base

no

probably Japanese is that your Japanese

so you we can’t it sounds pretty muffled

though

oh oh no oh Lord you’re going down

straight in the bushes third right third

third there’s a speed run of this game

okay yeah uh without loads time included

how fast did Rod G finish this game

pretty quickly 15 minutes

um I’ll say slightly longer uh 20

minutes 15 minutes and 34 seconds

are you Rod G it’s me I’ve played this

game so much

12 inches opened cool cool what does

that mean 25 inches that’s too many

options

the helicopter transporting Rio Futaba

has been attacked on en route by no

unidentified flying objects and is in

grave danger no get to the scene of the

incident immediately and so hang on is

she being dangled it has to be a better

way

yeah that’s stupid wow you’re gonna find

jet oh blue one yeah yeah

or is it purple I think it’s more of a

purple yeah it’s a bit perfectly right

yeah like an indigo missile can’t be

changed laser gun laser gun what do you

want this done a closer shot cool

explosive shot or would you like

explosive shots I would like a bowl

please no more bowls the bowl was

rubbish donkey oh God

Ashton standing by with Tam news just

big chains thanks Ben we’ve just learned

that radio communications with a

helicopter

captain of the vicinity of tamakuni

Island have suddenly stopped oh dear

okay can you tell us more

it is rumored the helicopter has been

attacked excellent right

you still there by a vehicle of unknown

nationality however

what yeah we are still waiting for

official confirmation right we have a

bad line anymore

thank you I’ll keep you updated with

more information when I know it oh a

news just did news just in the

helicopter transporting Rio for taba has

been attacked by unidentified flying

objects we know that you just told us

that we we’re aware anything else people

your mission is to protect both Rio and

the helicopter who knows your name as

Peter our viewers yeah leave immediately

for the sight of the incident what does

that mean yes go

back to you in the studio back to you in

the studio thank you okay

50 UFOs lock on Missile

subarm.com barrel roll

yeah you can roll hell yeah the controls

have changed now you’re working whatever

you’re good at sports you’ll be fun what

are those things

you good no sort yourself out with the

Horizon that’s it so I think can I just

if I press square and oh yeah there’s a

reason I can just turn left and right

okay that’s good kill him shoot oh

it seems there’s a lot of dead zone on

that yeah

sudden acceleration

get them

kill him Peter oh you got one helicopter

damage see if you can get these guys

they’re looking ominous

is Rio okay and marionette says yes yeah

does it just go all the way up and then

all the way back you did it you did one

I’ve powered down which I think makes me

go slower oh we’re sending our best

give him a minute she’s not playing this

game he’s

he’s helicopter yeah he he’s really a

helicopter fighter but we have no other

pie that’s available so we just bungle

them into a jet bungled did you just say

bungled in

what oh there she is oh my God oh God I

hit the girl the titular demolition girl

yes I think sorry I think you mean

the division yeah

the gigantic Beauty right yes sorry both

of these things can be true demolition

girl lock on

was produced uh by D3 under the simple

2000 series umbrella which is a budget

line within which more than 120 games

have been released

it’s like a yellow label yeah but yeah

they just uh this is one of them

surprising for me I thought this would

have been an email full price yeah

18 out of 50. you’re doing really well

your lady is going to die sure you’ve

got 30 the only reason she’s got 30 is

because Peter crashed into her knees

yeah that’s true that’s a good point

he doesn’t do that again

we should be all right

did that oh God it’s just it controls so

badly with this guy going it’s me hello

I’m space jellyfish

oh

you’re gonna explode nah

Peter are you able to move over at all

it looks like you’re barely afraid yeah

I noticed that earlier on in the video I

was leaning in but uh I forgot so thanks

he was just so into it’s great that

we’re nearly done with a video but uh

We’ve realized that now says okay

I’m so hot are they no well they’re

pretty hot yeah actually that’s a good

point

oh that’s good 39 out of 50 only 11 more

you’ve got loads of bogeys ahead

oh God they’re gonna kill you one Health

to fail we’re next time the vehicle is

out of control run away

it’s a good thing we saved

okay well that’s not so bad yeah that’s

all right you can now you know what

you’re doing yeah I’m gonna do it now

forget about it yes what is projectile

right next to me the matching the speed

of that

then along with us but it’s fine

yeah get stuff save our girl get out of

here Alan’s

this time it’s like some of them I can’t

seem to fly any closer to whenever like

reach a certain like look I’m

yeah they’re always matching my speed

yeah

oh

that was pretty good

pew pew pew got some on your waist oh

hello oh look out for this North flank

this helicopter is in a very dangerous

situation you help this helicopter to

hell oh no oh Peter Peter you’ve got

10.10 these guys are the worst

[Applause]

this is one of the hardest games ever

ever made ever Dark Souls of

um like 40-foot bikini girl helicopter

games I’ve got a couple of Amazon

reviews here zombie lord 17916 said

five stars how many stars did he give it

five stars five stars yeah quite know no

that’s true oh Japan how I love your

crazy outlook on things colon

dwell Japan and we’ve got one from Mrs

DJ Gosling

well pleased uh well pleased

scatter shots oh no got a snipe got a

snide oh no Collision on Dead Boys no

Coast on Sundays it’s a single really

isn’t it

they’re making their attack run when

they go into oak oak tree mode

the little sapling the helicopters

I got the wrong tree yeah okay

you’ve got what you were talking about

Pete just had to be yeah I think you

mean that’s what I want my glasses today

you had to do it I’d get something wrong

about dendrologically speaking it’s

absolutely absolutely yeah

he’s gonna do it this time and then

we’re gonna do reviews and then he gets

to go home yeah

all hour

oh this boy oh Lord here coming it’s me

the oak tree oh we got you as well he

was playing the long game these guys

suck

they do you’re nearly halfway yeah yeah

oh no he’s huge surprise where is it

he’s not dead he’s not dead Peter

he lives what where is he

I can’t lock onto him or anything aim up

hey easy

well pleased

nice oh them see

what happens if you drive into the sea

you can’t it just you just skate along

it look oh

oh yeah no no no no no no no no no

oak tree man we’re so far away from her

who doesn’t see her and she’s gigantic

the helicopter is in a very dangerous

situation do it Peter 20 more oh hello

[Music]

you can do it

I think I can hold down my uh

oh oh no I can’t actually hold up

oh look at the projectiles 35 oh those

are flipping okey-doke oh he’s coming

again oh God that guy’s gonna be like

I’m getting my medal today oh got him

kill him

oh that guy just did no again with the

green man no he’s coming again

it’s so hard to control you got him okay

get that guy oh okay that wasn’t meant

for him you’re nearly you’re nearly

there again you get to 43 and they just

go on their crazy runs

that’s it just fly like a lunatic if it

helps yeah just pick off a few more here

we go

[Laughter]

videos

here’s some reviews for you uh there’s

nothing on Magic critic because of

course there isn’t there’s no wikipedia

page either uh what was the average

review score according to 42 users on

game facts 42. oh I bet a lot of them

liked it

why though

um yes four stars so about 80 yeah I’m

gonna go is it in stars is it it’s a

percenter I’ve translated it

um I’m gonna go with yeah I’m gonna go

with 60

55.2 percent I’m pleasantly surprised

there we go uh the highest review score

I could fight there are about two review

two scored reviews on the internet

easily in the first I had to go to the

second page of Google what uh vocal

bunny 74 on game facts said demolition

girl looks good sounds good and it’s fun

while it lasts which admittedly isn’t

very long it’s a budget game though so

at a low price it’s definitely worth it

considering there is nothing else like

it what did Walpole bunny of

gamefaqs.com give it out of 100

uh uh 70 percent

uh

55 60

the lowest review score I could find was

from please call me York on groovy.com I

don’t think I could really recommend

this one to anyone but there is a

certain amount of novelty that will

please those interested in the weirdest

side of the ps2’s catalog hey that’s us

apparently rijo Futaba the demolition

girl herself appears in a couple of

other simple Series games which is kind

of interesting I guess I’d recommend

this game to people who hate audio in

cutscenes instead preferring awkwardly

silent slideshows that feel like they

last forever what did please call me

York give it out of 100

um

35 45 40 and those are my science facts

that was Demolition girl thank you so

much for watching the first episode of

weirdest games ever of 2023 we’ve got

loads of new weird games courtesy of the

caterpill which you should go and watch

if you haven’t already uh and if you

want to share this video there’s a

couple of places you can go isn’t that

right National you can share this video

on the jellyfish subreddit jellyfish or

potentially maybe on the

um giant woman subreddit which I imagine

there will be NSFW giant woman yeah and

then also your friends and your grandma

Yeah tell everyone tell everyone that

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how long how long before everyone else

Peter run away

um you get episodes of weirdest games

ever a whole week before everyone else

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absolutely thanks for watching everyone

we’ll see you next time bye