Real or Fake Bacon Products

23.01.2023 0 By admin

I hit the chair.

Yeah. It’s not easy being me, man.

Welcome to Good Mythical More, where your dreams continue.

You know when you wake up from a dream sometime and then you’re like go back to sleep and the dream will continue?

Yeah.

That’s what Good Mythical More is like.

Yes. Tough to make that happen.

And sometimes the dream gets better.

Yeah.

I feel like that’s gonna happen today.

I mean, we ate a lot of pork.
It started off with bacon.

How could it get better?

Well, some-
Ham facts perhaps?

Some, well some bacon things
are real and some are fake.

That chocolate covered bacon
at Bacon Fest, that’s real.

It’s real.

But what about Boogie Down Now?

Doesn’t it feel different?

She feels different, right?

Feels like herself, man.

Totally back.

Totally back.

Totally back and totally never was Chase.

All right, lie to me, Stevie.

There’s so many bacon-scented things.

I mean, have we seen it all?

I feel like we have.

No, because there’s a reason

we’re doing this More, is the answer.

Because there’s always more.

Yeah. Bacon-scented incense.

It’s made to make your home
smell like a bacon maple treat.

I mean, how would that not be?

It would be so easy to do.

Not only is this true, but
there are multiple brands.

And, I mean, it’s a
dumb idea in my opinion.

I guess if you want your house

to smell like you fried bacon, but-

But you didn’t eat it.

But you didn’t eat it?

Now, I don’t-
Wouldn’t it be easier

just to fry bacon?

I don’t think you want your
house to smell like bacon

if you’re not gonna eat it.

You do want your house
I know.

to smell like freshly baked bread

even if you’re not gonna eat it, though.

Right.
You know,

they make that thing.

That’s why I changed my answer.

Have you seen this thing?
Why? What’s the…

I don’t know what it is,
but like for realtors

who are showing off a home,

there’s a little, like,
thing you put in the oven

that’s not bread, but
it’s like a ceramic thing

with oil in it that makes
the whole house smell

like bread is baking,

’cause it makes people wanna spend money.

Are you sure it’s bread and not cookies?

You can get bread, you can get cookies.

Oh.

I bet you can get cookies.

You can get banana bread.

I bet you can get bacon incense, too.

Here’s the thing, though.

If you cook, well, my house is very small.

If you cook anything in my house

it will stink up 80% of the house.

Oh, bacon goes everywhere.
Bacon included. Yeah.

Bacon goes everywhere.

And then you’re like, you
get it on your clothes,

you get it in your hair, you know?

That’s why you should
microwave your bacon.

I’m sorry.

Actually, you should oven-bake your bacon.

Don’t, don’t do the fry thing.

No, I still think the smell goes…

You know what’s really
bad, when you boil eggs.

Ooh. Oh, deviled egg making.

How often you boil eggs?

Gotta do that in the backyard.

We just did it yesterday. That’s why.

Backyard boil.

How many eggs did you boil at once?

A dozen.

Yeah. You can’t do more than a dozen.

For deviled eggs. For a party.

It’s scientifically
impossible to boil 13 eggs.

Try it. Try it.

I’m saying that this is fake.

I think it’s real.

It’s real. Let’s see it.

Of course we have it.

Oh, can we light it up?

Bacon Maple Bar Incense.

It really, it certainly feels

like we should light this one on.

Light this one on.

Woo. Is this gonna give me a headache?

Well, lots of things give you headaches,

so I don’t know if that’s a
safe bet for me to say “No.”

I can tell you right now, yep.

It still smells a little like incense.

What do you think the crossover is

between people who burn incense
and people who eat bacon?

I know. That’s why, I
thought it was zilch.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nada.

It’s two circles. Two distinct circles.

I’d say it’s, I mean, two
circles that, are they touching?

It’s like binoculars.

Here’s what it looks like.

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And then you look in
the middle and you go,

“Oh, there are some people.”

Like I eat bacon and we
got incense at my house.

Here, do this.

Yeah. Why am I letting a
man who can’t do it, do it?

I mean it, the wrist motion, but…

This is a tricky matchbox.

I know. It’s slick.

I think it’s not even a real striker.

Are these fake matches?

Gotcha!

This is fake matches, y’all.

Where did you get those?
Here we go.

You can just kind of hold it like that.

And then you blow it out.

Oh really?

And that’s how incense happens.

Oh, I never do incense.

But you eat bacon.

I just do bacon.

Yeah.

It actually, it actually still
smells a lot like incense.

Can you…

Does this smell

anything like bacon?
Are you getting

like a liquid smoky type of thing, or…?

That’s a little too,

that’s basically inhaling
the smoke from incense.

It smells like
I don’t smell bacon.

you went to somebody’s house

who was burning regular
incense, and brought them bacon.

You know what I’m saying?

Yeah. Like when you try to get rid

of the bacon smell with incense.

It’s like, “Did somebody
fry bacon in here?”

Yeah.
Somebody fry incense?

It could be a lot worse.
in the bacon pan?

What about bacon butt balm?

Organic bacon-scented
diaper rash ointment.

So that your baby smells like ham.

You can’t do that because
you might then eat the baby.

Why would you…?

You know what I’m saying?
You can’t do that.

You can’t eat a baby.

I mean.

Not anymore.

It’s been a long time since we had a baby

that would need a diaper cream.

Things, you know, things change
in that world so quickly.

The stuff that they sell for babies

never ceases to amaze me.

But what about-

But it always seems to repel me.

But what about the elite Hollywood cabal,

those parties that we
get invited to sometimes

where they do eat the children.

Right, I feel okay about it

’cause they’re not
eating the entire child.

Right. Yeah.

They just, yeah. They eat it slowly.

They let the limbs grow back,

because if you do it at
young enough of an age,

it grows back like a lizard.

Yep. Yep.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

And we’re talking pre-nine.

You think YouTube’s policy team

is just like trying to come up with rules

based on what we say?

“No talking about eating babies.

It will result in a flag.

Constantly keepin’ ’em guessing.

Let’s see.

This ain’t real, ’cause of all
the reasons I just covered.

There’s not a market for this.

It’s fake. You’re right.

Thank goodness. Thank goodness.

You can’t do that.

Thank goodness. All right.

Bungee bacon.

Stretchable bacon pieces
meant for stress relief.

I’m listening.

That’s all I have to say.

Oh.

Yeah, well, she said it all.

I was listening.

Bungee bacon.

Stretchable pieces of
bacon for stress relief.

But they’re not edible?
No.

They probably have scent.

This is for real.

I mean, I definitely, it’s for real.

It’s a stress ball, but
it’s a stress bacon.

Do you have any things like that?

Like any fidget spinners?

No, I don’t know.
Stress balls?

I don’t, I have no stress.

Pillow that you yell at?

No stress in my life, man.

Pillow that I yell at.

They’re selling

like hotcakes.
It’s real!

Selling like hotcakes.

Oh, this looks fun.

Bungee Bacon. Premium
stretchy imitation fatty pork.

Let’s break it out and stretch it out.

I like how it’s, I mean
they’ve gone all out

with the container of it.

Woo, Rhett.

Oh. Don’t let go.

No, this is, I’m not gonna let go.

’cause this is a trust exercise.

You know what?

The wonderful thing about this is

you take this on vacation, it’s a workout.

You know those people who
take bands on vacation?

Yeah. Yeah.

Is that…?

Yep. You’re doing it correctly.

I’ll just be in my hotel room,

like squatting next to the bed.

Just pulling on bacon.

“Room service!”

“No, no, no. I’m just
stretching my bacon.”

Just pulling on my bacon.

“I don’t need, no, no,
I don’t need new sheets.

I just need more bacon.”

What is the point of this?

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Is it, I mean…

It doesn’t smell at all like…

It’s not stretchy enough
to be real stress relief.

“Spongy bacon.”

I feel like it gives me a workout.

“Pranks, jokes, gag gifts, and novelties.”

I just don’t…

I mean, you came up with
the best application

for this stuff.

Exercise.
Actual exercise.

But like, I really don’t think
that’s what it’s made for.

You think I can hit that guitar?

No, I don’t.

“Do you think I can hit that guitar?”

Guitar.

You gotta let go.
The classic?

You gotta let go in quick succession.

Like. Oh!

Oh snap. There you go.

I mean, that is, just second try.

All right.
Just be in my hotel room.

Oh man.

You’re gonna break my guitar, man.

Lewis’s guitar.

That was fun. Now I know.

He loaned me that guitar,
“Fifty

Shades of Bacon”.
nine years ago.

What?
“Fifty Shades of Bacon”.

I’m listening. What?

An erotic cookbook

featuring basic to complex
bacon-themed recipes.

Now, when you say erotic cookbook,

what do you mean by that?

What do you mean by that?

We talking about basting?
Well…

You talking about naked pigs?

Yeah.

You talking about activities with pigs?

Yeah

Because I’ve seen-
Talking about bestiality.

You talk about temperature probes?

And you talking about,

you talking about one of,
it’s a smart animal, man.

You can teach a smart
animal lots of stuff.

What’s the sexiest thing
you can do while cooking?

With a pig? Don’t get me started.

What’s the sexiest thing you
can do while cooking a pig?

With another pig?

No, just you.

I think just do it naked.

You ever cooked a pig naked?

I take their clothes off
before I cook ’em every time.

This seems real to me.

These suck.

“Fifty Shades of Bacon”.

I don’t think it’s real.

It’s a cookbook that’s…

I don’t think it’s that
erotic. I think this sells.

It’s real!
Yes.

I got you.

Oh, and it’s high quality.

Man. Boy, that wasn’t a-

“Fifty Shades”.

This this thing is like-

When you work with a
real publisher, it shows.

This is like when you go to
one of those college classes,

and he’s like, “I’m
gonna email you the book”

That I wrote.

that I wrote and you’re
just gonna print it off.

You know, it’s like, look
at the back of this book.

That’s a book you like make
straight from Apple Photos.

Ben Myhre and Jenna Johnson.

Oh, really?

“Fifty…”, I’m trying to
figure out, oh, that’s a tie.

Just like “Fifty Shades of Grey.”

All right, let’s get into this, y’all.

Is it got recipes?

“Foreplay,” “Afternoon
Delight,” “Multiple Orgasms.”

“The Morning Wood.” That’s breakfast.

“Bondage.” That’s miscellaneous.

Let’s go to, I mean, you
got bacon deviled eggs,

bacon pasta salad, spicy
bacon-wrapped shrimp,

awesome bacon meatloaf.

Once you get into the
details, it’s not really-

It’s not that sexy.

It’s not really that sexy.

Any pictures? Any naked pigs in there?

There’s no, there’s a couple of,

there’s not even that many pictures.

There’s a picture.

This is a real-
Bacon fudge.

This is real low effort.

Real low effort cookbook.

Yeah, there’s no,

there’s no pig genitalia
anywhere in sight.

So that’s a warning.

We’re going to have to
start putting that warning

on all of our videos.

“Warning: no pig genitalia in this video.”

Right, right, right.

Tell me about this pen.

I was confused,

because we’re calling it
“Moochelle Pen of the Month,”

but we’re not calling it a club

because you don’t pay on a monthly basis.

It’s just every month we release

A new pen.

Moochelle releases a new pen,

and it’s not about Moochelle.

No, no, no, no, no.

Okay. It’s pretty simple, I think.

So it’s just a pen of the
month at mythical.com.

So every month we’re
going to have a different,

limited quantity collectible pen.

And the first one, for January,
this month, is Moochelle.

Moochelle does not run the
pen, the different pens.

She’s got enough, getting
those sweet dance moves down.

As you can see, that’s a full-time job.

Full-time job.

So it just happens to be the first one,

but this is, it’s a high-quality pen.

Now when it says soft enamel,

that seems pretty hard to me.

No, no. I think that’s
the soft enamel part.

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Oh, the backing.

Yeah. Boom, just like that.

So the first one is Moochelle,
and it’s limited quantity,

so if you want it, grab
it up now at mythical.com,

’cause next month there’ll be another pen,

and this one will go away.

Limited quantity.
Yeah.

Limited quantity.
There we go. Yeah. Yeah.

Go ham. No, ma’am.

Bacon paper weight.

An enamel-dipped piece of
bacon suspended in crystal

from Tiffany’s.

From Tiffany?
Tiffany’s 2018.

Tiffany wouldn’t do that.

Tiffany’s got really,

really high standards.
No, no, no.

I’m just afraid that if we bought it,

how much did we pay for it?

But it exists.

It does not exist.
Oh, thank goodness.

Really reaching with that one.

All right, you got that one. From Tiffany.

Tiffany’s.

Makin’ Bacon the Game.

Makin’ Bacon. A bacon-themed game of dice.

Perfect for a family game night?

Yeah, it sounds like it.

Makin’ Bacon?

A dice game perfect for family game night?

Yep.

I betcha we can play it
when he gives it to us.

Makin’ Bacon.

Yes. Let’s see it.

I mean, it does feel like
something that would exist,

unfortunately.
Hand it to me.

Yep.
Yep. See, there it is.

Oh, and they’ve got, they got
their whole packaging down.

You’re trying to just spell “bacon”?

Yeah. You’re just trying to spell “bacon”.

Is that how it works?

Well, let’s just see it.

I mean if that’s all there is to it,

it actually sounds kind of fun.

Look at this box.

I mean, there’s nothing in the box except-

Except bacon dice.

Except bacon dice.
Did you spell “bacon”?

Let me see if I can spell “bacon”.

First try it.

B.

A.

B-A-N-B-N
“Each player rolls one die.

The first person to roll
a ‘makin’ goes first.

Write all the names on the score sheet.

A player begins a turn
by rolling all six dice.

Dice values of a single roll…”

Can I spell “bacon”?

B-A-C-A-B. Bacab.

Can I spell “bacon”?

Oh. N-O-N-N-C-A.

Nocan.

See if I can spell “bacon”.

B-N-C-N-C. Bncn.

B-B-O-N. Bonb.

This would be good for family game night.

I’m gonna tell you. You’re good-

B-A- No.

Yeah. C-

Oh!

C- Bacab.

See how excited he almost got.

Bacac. Bacac.

Okay. B-A-A-C-A-B.

Baacab.

Well, I can tell you right now,

he is not playing the game
that I’m reading about.

Ah! B.

His game is better.

Oh! B-A-C-O-O-B.

I can’t make sense of theirs.

O-O-B.

Oh! Caboob.

No, I’m gonna get it. I’m gonna get it.

I’m gonna get it.

Cabob maybe?

B.

I Just got BC that time.

It got a lot of makin’s.
And a lot of makin’s.

Can I see if I can do it?

Look, last try.

B-A-B-A-N-B-N-B. Babanbnb.

Baban.

Dang. It’s hard to spell “bacon”.

I’m gonna do it.

See if you can do it.

B-A-C-O-A

Bacoa.
Bacoa.

You almost did it on the first try.

I got so close. Let me go again.

I think you’re gonna do it.

I think you’ll pull it off.

I think you’ll do it.

I think I spelled “bacan”.

No, ’cause you, that’s one.

Oh, that is bacon.

“I think I’ve spelled ‘bacan’.

Lo, and behold, I’ve
spelled ‘bacan,’ Mom.”

No, that’s not bacon.

The second A.

I know, but you-

Upside down, I was like “bacan”.

No, but this was an O.

That was an O originally.

Oh, you, yeah. You messed it up.

All right, let me go again.

Bacan.

You’ll get it. You’ll get it.

B. No B.

Yeah. Yeah, that’s trouble right there.

Get in here, family.

We’re having fun without you.

You can’t spell “bacon” without a B.

B-A-N-A-N-A. Banana!

You spelled “banana”!

Look, he spelled “banana”, y’all!

You spelled “banana”.

He wins another game.

We’re playing a different game, kids.

Banana!
I spelled “banana”.

I also spelled “banana”.

Banana.

Man.
Well.

You know, I’m sorry we
talked so much trash

about this incredible game.

Yeah, yeah.

Don’t miss your chance

to grab January’s
collectible pin of the month.

It’s Moochelle. Go to mythical.com.