We play a bunch of Petz games and LOSE OUR MINDS

I’ve got something in my pocket for you, Dan. I don’t like the sound of that. No, it’s good. It’s not here. Take it

What is it? It’s a coin. Oh, yeah, what a coin. It’s a Valentine’s coin

Can I use it to purchase a Valentine’s Day™ gift for myself at Game Grumps dot-com slash merch?

That would have been such a better thing for this thing to have done

What?

You wanna try that sentence again? It’s I just I I

I just thought it was a neat coin, but the fact that you could trade it in for it. That’s such a better idea

Yeah, it’s too late now

At least you can still get merchant gamers icon slash merge really not with the coin though

Also, I use your money to buy this coin

Hey, I’m Grump! I’m not so Grump! And we’re the Game Grumps!

Hello and welcome to pets hamsters bunch

But seriously folks the comedy stage. Let’s do it. Okay

I’m just jumping right in. Choose one of my hamsters

No hamsters been registered. I’ll just watch using this hamster. All right. Save this hamster. Dude, you can you can

You’re not gonna customize your hamster?

I don’t know. I don’t know how this is like the first time I’ve ever fucking what do you I mean learn

Randall

Watch this channel. Heck. Yeah, we are this channel. What is this?

Snoozy snooze snooze. Oh

My god, what the hell is happening? Oh my god, I

Love this. Is this a photograph that they like?

inserted their computerized hamster into or is this all I

Don’t know I can’t tell it looks like a photo. Yeah, I think so a little food

No

Fucker love sunflower seeds. Snacks how I love you. So

He keeps extra food in his little pouch, dude

Secret stash. It’s a secret stash

By the way, what’s not a secret is that this game got one star in its reviews out of five

The secret here is that I’m loving it dude, I get to pet a hamster as much as I want well

One out of five is 20%

Which means one out of five people, but likes this game. Oh, are you the one I’m gonna poke it. Oh

We didn’t like that. Yeah, he didn’t like you poked him three times. I don’t know it’s the function of the game

It’s a little big for him. All right, well

Yeah, he can take it. Look at those cheeks. Loves it. Why is he undulating on the sides?

Because he’s sticking stuff in his little pouches. Is that what that is? No need to rush chew slowly. Oh, there he goes

Loves that little seed. Oh

So cute, he’s decided to jump up. He’s adorable, you know, they eat their children when stressed

What an adorable little creature. I should stick to stand up

interaction area

Question mark

You gonna go over there or what’s going on? Oh, he’s taking a nap. Well, this game is great. Hello there neighbor. Hey

Who’s the neighbor?

Over here. He talking to the wheel. I

Don’t know

Where’s the party

It’s over where my fucking fingers pointing

Go to the wheel. You’re starting to put me in the 80% of people that did not love this game

You’re really starting to piss me off

Stairs, please

It’s like we’re having a real fucking hamster

Does what it wants?

Okay, there we go. He just noticed you called him. Isn’t this supposed to be a fantasy?

Fantasy is a strong word and video games are supposed to be like, oh, I’m living out things. I understand

Is he about to do something? Probably not

Oh, oh, oh, he’s in the dish

Oh All right, okay and he’s back

And oh, he’s down and he’s up and he’s out. He’s nothing came out. Oh, he tried to poop

Oh his little poop box. He has to go upstairs to shit

Well, some of us do geez not all of us have dual bathrooms in our places

Aaron it’s your bougie bastard kind of messed up that there’s no like railing on the side for this little guy

He likes to go at his own pace

Is this a game?

It was

Doc says I gotta shape up. Oh good for you. Oh

He went to his doctor the other day hmm a little hamster guy great

Inside the the spaceship. Mm-hmm. Is he trying to shit in here? You ever heard of knocking?

Okay, okay. I think I found my loneliness. I

Think he is shitting right now. Okay. Do you do it?

Have you ever ripped a deuce and just thought about loneliness

Seems sad. Where’s he going? Although I guess it is a time to reflect dude. I have always that’s dude

That’s my time to think and heal. Yeah. Yeah, I’ve heard it said that

Um toilet time was a time to reflect before phones and

Right, they are he just noticed you called him

All right. Well, I’m gonna stop watching this channel. It’s a channel. Yeah, I’m gonna switch to another channel. That was the comedy channel then

There’s there’s a there’s a variety of different channels that I could be searching for right now

You gotta be fucking kidding me who who to be like the tween scene what?

I’m gonna subscribe to this channel

Please don’t

Watch using this answer

I’m gonna name it

Whatever. What are we doing?

Watch this channel. Yep

Fucking roll around and be a cute little hamster boy. How would you name him for this is a second hamster?

It’s an albino

Oh big stretch

Just chickooing off in its own world

Let’s see what’s over here just the same layout

He just noticed you called him

Okay, Aaron. Yeah, I hate this. What do you mean? You’re just watching a cute little hamster run around but

We could do that with an actual hamster. Well, what do you want this to be hamster grumps? It’s game grumps. This is a game

Is it? Roughly

It kind of looks like a game like it could be. It has graphics it was on the PSP

Is your bed uncomfortable? That poor little guy cleaning his hands

Can’t eat all that food with dirty hands. You can’t eat your food when it’s a single texture. Time to go downstairs

There’s a lot going on in this creature’s life

All right, um scared I guess

What about the interaction area? Yeah

Let’s really let’s break the ice. Oh, there’s stuff. Events. You haven’t seen any events. No shit

All right, food

Delicious seed. Ooh apple. Many hamsters dislike dried fruit, but apples are popular. I can do that, dude

Fucking I can get down with that jam. Okay

Bring him to the interaction area. I’ve arrived

Apple. Oh

It looks a little big for him. That’s the smallest apple I’ve ever seen. Just fucking eat the apple, dude

No need to rush. Beggars can’t be choosers. Chew slowly

What are you gonna go hunt your food?

You’re the food that’s hunted. I’m providing you with service here

Mmm, pet, pet, pet, pet, pet. Enjoy my magic touch. Pet, pet, pet. This is what Reiki massage is

I don’t, I don’t touch the hamster. Pet pokes. It’s my energy

Sorry? Stop poking your hamster. I don’t know. Three pisses him off.

Oh, you are, oh

He almost bit me, dude. No shit. How about a little food? Yeah, bribe him

Mmm, bribe his love. Yeah, maybe maybe he won’t hate me as much after poking him. You’re going to make me fat

Ah, yes, something that all hamsters are concerned with

I mean, yeah, if you get too fat, you can’t climb through your little tube

Trying to watch. Do you really think they can put that together?

Sure, okay. I wonder how smart hamsters are. I would guess not

But they know like to run from from like like things that are trying to eat them and yes snakes and so do ants

No ants don’t know that. Yeah, they do. They just scramble

These things are like I’m gonna go hide in the in the dark trenches of a wall

They’re really good at that. Listen, I love hamsters. I think they’re adorable and sweet and lovely

I also think they’re basically high-functioning plants. I suppose you’re right

Buy me stuff

tween scene. Yeah, sure

Wait, can I oh, yeah, that’s a different show

All right, cool, let’s watch this dude, why is this like

Randall and I’m happy that Randall’s relaxed. Can we do something?

No, this is it man. This is it? Yeah, what do you what’s wrong?

The fact that you laughed after you said that indicates that you know exactly what’s wrong

How does it know what day it is? I didn’t set my PSP. I feel like I don’t know what day it is

What the fuck? It’s got the time, right? Yeah. Oh

Jesus there’s a timestamp on this episode

Congratulations, you know when we filmed this

Yeah, people at home will be able to be like I know exactly where I was with the game groves were wasting their goddamn time

He just noticed you called him

I think they’re just trying to make as authentic of an experience of having a hamster as possible

Is that what this is like because I mean you can’t really like play with a hamster

You can pick it up and like throw it around and stuff. You can play with a game

Well, yeah, they could make a game anything. Yeah, but what if you will like hamsters and video games? This is the game for you

refreshing hamster aid

It’s a delicious. Have you ever thought about what it would be like to eat out of a I shopped till I dropped

Go on you ever thought it would be like to eat out of one of those tubes with the little ball

I

Think about it all the time really it’s like what would it be like?

Because you’ve put your finger up to it right and like the little water comes out. Yes, you know wet finger

It’s like I don’t know that seems like it could be kind of pleasant. You just like

You know you you push it like to take a drink instead of just sipping a glass of water

You have to push a giant metal ball out of the way with your tongue. Yeah a drip

but it would be a lot because it would be bigger for you I

Don’t know if my tongue is that strong

No, I feel like I feel like good

dick thickness

Boy, that’s a really specific

Random choice you made there

Well, I’m just I just I looked at the thickness of what it would be like compared to how big we are versus like a hamster

You could have said anything. It’s about this big. Yeah, there’s a lot of things that are that okay banana thickness then yeah, okay fine kook

Cucumber no cucumbers sometimes are too fat a Persian cucumber. Yes, okay, or Japanese cucumber

Maybe Aaron we have to play something different. No we don’t this is this is over. No. It’s not there’s so many more channels no

Look watch let’s just go to another pets game. What are you talking about?

on

a second

You need to you need to chill pet sports great another one-star game

Let’s do it. Oh, it’s a Wii game. Oh good very nice

I’ve so much snot in my nose the operative word is game. It’s a game

Yeah, well so is the hamsters?

Is it sound party party soft or whatever the?

Petsports look at this mode selection play with your dogs play with my friends, but my friends are my dog exactly

You know there’s somebody that has said that in earnest out loud. Hell. Yeah, I play with my dogs

I’m in it like as in dogs like the colloquial. Oh

Oh friends got it. Oh my god

Welcome to the dog’s house. See all these cute dogs. You can only pick one for the moment pick the right one

Okay, you and your dogs will have lots of good times together damn right. We will just let me have it

Look at all these dogs see ya I

Love how you have to watch them go away

That’s terrifying. Oh look at this pug

Oh he’s so tiny

He looks like a sand worm

You know what I mean like there’s too much neck on that pug. Yeah, what about this Rottweiler?

Oh god, he’s so vacant. I love these reasonable approximations of various dog breeds

Yep, she want to adopt this rock while at rock Raha what good choice? I’m sure there weren’t any bad choices

Yeah, I don’t know about that one

Would you like to name your what would you like to name your dogs ass and I’d love that

The AE

Done

Are you sure yes? I’m sure

Nice name. Yeah, good job. I’m sure Cthulhu could pronounce it by the way. What’s your name?

Askoi yeah

Hey, are you sure great name?

One of the ancient tongue

God fucking dog whining just shut up

Prove you’re a worthy dog fell you or an adoption coins. You’ll be able to adopt more dogs. That’s great super. Oh my god

Oh

Somehow I think those eyeballs are not real oh

For fuck’s sake what happened? Hey, Ali, can you I?

Need your assistance over here, oh dear

Should we pause the episode no no you’re good. Okay. I just

Do you understand what’s happening? Okay?

Thank you

This is your room. Have a look around. We are struggling here at your dogs

Yeah, if your dog is wearing a costume will remove for the petting session who’s I just got it. I just got it

You think I pulled it out of the cage. I was like all right right now. You’re spider-man oh

No

Oh pet no pet oh no

I am told I would need someone to fact-check this for me, but I am told that dogs

Due to their close relationship with humans over the past however many thousand years uh-huh have actually developed

Their face to look like a smile and their brows to be more human-like

To better deepen the bond between the species fuck isn’t that wild that’s so wild yeah

I’m not positive that’s correct, but it is what I’ve read from what I believe to have been a reputable journal of some sort

Oh, I think they’re supposed to be like motion. I think I’m supposed to use motion to pet yeah to pet yeah well most

petting involves not just placing your hand on its head and then

Just kind of thinking about other stuff

Aaron just pet the dog. I don’t have motion control. Are you serious? Yes? This is an emulated fucking

What are we doing right now?

I’m petting the dog as best. I can are you yes, I’m touching it. I don’t know

I don’t think it’s working you’re supposed to fill the lever. I believe oh

I can’t like exit out of here. Oh god. No hold on. There’s got to be a way. There’s got to be a way to motion

This is the shit showiest of all shit shows

Resume oh no. Here’s what I can do fuck. Here’s what I can do

Shit, here’s what I can do

There we go nicely done that was nice nice, thank you

To get the best results from your dogs. It’s really important that you spend a lot of bonding time with them cool. Thank you

The moment you can either pet them or show them some tricks later. You’ll receive more games. Oh

It’s not a kid. We call these non racing games the caring games. I’m sorry what?

her

Dress your dogs. Where are the games I?

What what is happening with any of these this whole series of games is not games. I get to bet on a dog race

Why not that’s pretty cool

Street training all right. I guess we’ll work on our martial arts skills on the street

Geez louise. This is terrifying. I know this is really rough. I’m having a rough go

An are you FF go?

All right

Street training

Start mashing the wiimote. I can’t do that though

Fucking I can’t play this game great

It doesn’t have motion control. I don’t have motion controls all right

attempt number three

Pet Pet Saddle Club. I don’t believe we’ve played there. We go pet saddle club here

We go stars pet saddle club stony PlayStation portable

This one’s going to be good. We are 19 minutes episode

So sorry everyone try all the games try on that high quality. It looks great looking for that horse

Like that drone was like headed right for it damn dead-ass. Doe do you see those cheeks clap?

Yes, but only because I was looking in a mirror and twerking well

Don’t I told you not to do that without me? Oh?

Oh my God, are you serious everything’s broken?

Everything’s broken is this the last episode of game grumps

Like is this how it ends we just realized we played every game, and they’re all broken from this point on all right

Pets dogs too. Oh my God

We’re doing it, baby

Don’t ever buy pets games with a Z. These are all awful. This is going to be the same fucking game

Of course it’s going to be the same game. It’s just going to have dogs in it instead

It’s the same year. They just reskinned all the cats. Here we go here. We go. I’m so fucking excited to see if that’s the case

Future media creations the ukes. That’s a fun logo. I’m not going to lie. Yeah, it is a good time

All right, dog dog dog dog

Wait is this I think we might have played this what really yeah, I vaguely remember

We remember looking through all these different dog breeds. Yeah, it has like a million choices. I think we did this

Fucking I think we played this

We played this we did you gotta be

Butt-fucking me right now. I think we did it. I can’t believe this shit. Pets horses too. No we played pets horses

What do you mean we played pets horses too? That’s the first one we played. Are you kidding me?

This should be the second episode of pets rescue wildlife that we’re playing dogs with a z okay cool your virtual pets pals. Oh

God 1999 I was only four years old

What the hell? Oh my god. Yeah, I feel like that dog looks

Let’s go to the playpen

Okay, you must first adopt a pets to adopt a pets visit the pet store. It’s like the pets for the list

Okay, scrappy chipper Chi Chi Chi dude. All right Chi Chi to the Chihuahua. He looks great. Oh

Oh, you’ve grabbed him by the face and now he tumbles down. What in the world?

God gracious why?

All right, I’m I’m satisfied with Chi Chi. Are you great you’ve that this pet has not been adopted

name your pets

whoops

Mutt Scottie your Chi Chi

Okay, Chi Chi is fine. Great. It’s like the color

Yes, are you painting your dog? Is that what?

Like why would you need the paint the Pantone’s next to it

It’s pretty obvious what color it is. I’m gonna go pink. Yeah, I

Promised to give my pets love and affection. I promise to feed and play with my pets. Okay, I

I promise to pet my pets and to reward good behavior with treats. I

Understand that if neglected or abused my pets will run away. Oh my god

Well, all you’ve done so far is grab it by the face. All right

What fun

God all you’ve done this entire game like this whole day is like poke hamsters and move dogs around by their faces

I

Don’t know oh I can I could bottle feed it. Oh, that’s sweet. Is that what I just did? Yeah, I think so

See you now. He’s happy. Oh

He did a little howl. Oh

Okay sleeping. Okay. See what else you can give him while he’s sleeping

hernia

Wow

Mouse what do you think? Well, wait the fuck up. Okay. What do you think of the mouse? Oh

Oh

There goes

He loves it look at him go this is great. We’re not earning any points. Oh, what is this game loves to sleep?

This is basically like a high-end tamagotchi

Yeah, oh my god. Stop sleeping

What is this?

brush

brush wait

Fucking

Wait, yeah, I’m brushing this fucking down brush up brush up brush. Yeah

Alright, what else we got?

Spray bottle. No, that’s for when they’re bad. Oh my bad. What’s this pillow?

I don’t know. You can lay on this here lay on this

Lay on the pillow. Oh

Oh land the pillow. Yeah, dude nice

This is awesome. Let’s see what else we can disturb him with this. Maybe that’s shampoo shampoo

Hit about the shit I

Don’t think that’s good. Was it a drill? I think no, I think it’s a spray for like discipline. Oh

Oh, it hates it. Yeah. Yeah, I’ve been hurting the dog. No, don’t hit it with the stick Oh

Fetch it’s fat. Yeah

Why don’t you play with the stick you fucking dog? Maybe he’s traumatized because you sprayed him 50 times

Well, maybe well, maybe he should be untraumatized by getting sprayed a bunch

Dog shut up. Heron. Stop moving. What does it want? Give me bottle?

Oh

Baby bottle. He’s not hungry

Baby bottle

Is it dead?

We’ve sure had some good times today, what’s that? Oh food. Oh

There we go. Oh, thank goodness. It needs water too. I bet it does

Or it could sleep.

I think this dog is gonna die. No, he’s fine. It feels like it’s sick

You just gave him food. It looks sick because you made him pink. Well, he keeps howling. There we go. There’s the drinkies

Well, this dog loves to sleep

Here’s bone

Uh-huh

bone

It keeps looking like you’re flipping off the camera

bone

He loves it. Does it? Yeah, I won my affection of the dog back. Okay, sweet. Look at him

He’s just bouncing around. It’s like a fucking screensaver from 1996. This is wonderful

He’s having so much fun dude

Now he’s gonna sleep. Mm-hmm. Well done

All right. How about this pillow? Yeah, there you go right under the head

Right out of the fucking head. Oh shit

How sweet

Yeah

Perfect. It looks soulless when it’s sleeping. Okay, Arin, please.

So how do I like- give it a dog bone like a little look. Whoops. Oh, here we go. Ah, the status

The hunger is- it needs affection and health. Okay. How do I give it health? I don’t know

Shit. Well, give it affection. At least you know how to do that. All right. Oh

Oh my god. All I know how to do is grab it. I can’t like pet it. Here’s the brush

No, no, it’s- it said the- it’s screaming was high. So you don’t need to brush it. You just

What’s this one? Oh, it’s a treat. Okay

Sit

Fucking you love that shit. Oh, dude, he hunted it

Did- check the stats again? Oh, that’s the patch.

Aw, there you go. There we go

Is that good, buddy? Now I feel good. Okay

Let’s check his stats. There you go. Okay. That was very little affection. I didn’t do shit, dude

Pet this motherfucker. It’s health is- it’s in horrible health. What am I supposed to do about health? I don’t- what do I have, drugs?

I don’t know. Is that what this is?

The milk? Are those his vitamins? Is that a toy? Cuz he’s so desperately ill

Take the vitamins. Take it. Take the vitamins. This game rules

What’s the fucking- is it this one? I can’t believe we played three games in a row

Where you’re just like what? This isn’t a game

Arin, share your toys. What? Hey toys, go back

Share toys. Mouse. Yeah, pick a toys. Sharing item.

Oh, this is for somebody that also has dogs. Oh my god. What two people would have this? Yeah, dude, my dogs

Yeah, like if someone- if your friend bought this I guarantee they called you and told you that it’s not worth buying

So no two people who know each other would have it. I don’t know if this is-

No, he doesn’t like that.

Oh, maybe he does. Oh, he hated it.

I think that’s why the affection and health are so bad because you spent half the time

beating with a stick and

Spraying them with some sort of spray. I just want to fucking pet the dog, dude

Do I just have to like pet it for hours? I think so. Dude, that’s unbelievable

It takes a long time to rebuild trust, Arin, once that bridge has been burned. Look at- I’m petting for like a full fucking minute, dude

You see this?

Affection. Son of a bitch. How’s he even moved?

How’s he even fucking moved? Oh man, at least his age isn’t high. Look at his big fucking goggle eyes. He’s got so much time to suffer

That didn’t change shit! No. How the fuck am I supposed to give it health?

Stop howling you’re making me cry

Where to put you?

Please! I can’t stand this anymore. Yeah, this is awful. Let’s see the Hall of Fame

Chi-Chi. Yup. Clear pets. I never want to see this fucker again. Chi-Chi has been forgotten

All right. Well, what a journey

This might have been

one of our least success- it might have been funny, but I

Mean three swings and three misses in one episode. It really goes to show you

Don’t put your money on pets if you ever have the opportunity to invest in pets with a Z

Don’t do it. Making a game is hard apparently. Yeah, and I have full respect for people who do it well

Well, we’ll see you all later. This shit sucked. These shits sucked. There will be another day

Oh, yeah, we’ll see you tomorrow. Kisses and hugs

Goodbye

Save me. My father is going to kill me

My dad he’s killing me. He’s going to sometime soon

He’s going to kill me. If kisses and hugs were candies and nugs. Haha