Here we go.
Welcome to “Good Mythical More”-
Oh gosh.
Oh-kay.
So today in “Good Mythical
More”, What are we doing?
I’m gonna tell you revenge stories.
Petty revenge stories.
Oh, and we have to predict how they end?
Yeah.
Okay.
But first we have to boogie down now
without busting a bubble.
Is the music stopped?
That music didn’t
finish, is that the joke?
Not funny!
Oh, no, no, don’t, don’t,
don’t bust your bubble.
I’m surprised nothing
popped when I sat down.
It’s all about even distribution.
So remember that-
So, predict the revenge story, huh?
The last time you were in a bubble wrap?
Freecreditreport.com.
Not a sponsor, they were.
Yeah.
That was a fun video shoot.
It was.
We popped all types of bubbles
and we made bubble suits,
but they weren’t this nice.
They were super thick.
Well, they were thick,
they were like multiple layers
so we could just keep popping and popping.
We squeezed each other.
Okay. Revenge stories.
Doesn’t pop.
This first one comes
from user Runner B-One.
Runner Boy?
Yeah. On “Reddit”.
“My coworker sometimes
throws out her lunch
in the garbage can at my
desk instead of her own
because she claims she
can’t stand the smell
of old ketchup that’s been
sitting out for a couple hours.
I have asked her several times to stop,
but she will then just wait until I get up
to go to the bathroom and do it
and hide my garbage can under my desk,
so she thinks I won’t see it.”
How did this person get their revenge?
Huh.
This is a pretty crappy
thing to do, first of all.
I think this is, is this flirting?
It’s easy to just throw something away.
You know? It’s just like…
It’s ineffective flirting.
What is the, well, what’s
the other explanation
for why she’s so hardheaded about it?
Women.
Women.
Wait, I think it’s, I, okay, I mean,
I’m trying to put my so,
I’m trying to imagine-
I know what he did.
The situation in which
this would make sense.
Like, maybe they’re one
of those places that like
they’ve laid everyone off, and
there just two people working
at the end of a very large,
like room in two little cubicles
and so there’s no other trash can,
like that’s the only explanation
that would make this justified.
Why wouldn’t you go to
the communal trash can?
No it’s implied that she has her own- Oh.
Right, why wouldn’t you go?
Why wouldn’t you just? Yeah.
“Oh, I don’t wanna get up.”
It’s either her trash can or his trash can
is what you’re saying. Yeah.
I think what he did was
he squirted a bunch of
ketchup underneath her desk.
So that it-
It just got old and stayed down there.
The smell.
It’s like the atomic dump
where you take a dump
in the tank of someone’s toilet.
Yep. They call that an upper decker.
Yeah and they, boy,
they smell it for days.
They don’t know what’s
wrong, they call a plumber.
Every time you flush it
puts more poop in the bowl.
Yeah. It fills it up with
poop water, every time.
It’s a beautiful thing.
Don’t recommend it, but we did it.
It’s actually hard to do.
It was like a college prank thing.
It’s like when you’re up
there trying to do it,
it’s just like, you know,
it’s not made to be sat upon.
If You’re that elevated, it’s
tough to let yourself relax.
Yeah. And plus you’re like,
the people that you’re pranking
are just outside the door.
Right.
Presumably, they might
be like, you know…
Yeah.
It’s a high risk situation.
We don’t recommend it.
What do you think that he do?
I think that…
These won’t pop.
She was eating her, she
was about to eat her lunch.
He had finished his lunch,
and he took her full lunch
and threw it in the trash can,
and then put his trash lunch
and put it where her lunch was.
Ooh, gotcha!
All right. Who’s closer?
“Every time she does it,
I wait until she goes to the bathroom,
take out the little plastic container
that she had ketchup in and put it
way in the back of her bottom desk drawer.
There are six in there now,
the oldest is over a month old.
So far she hasn’t noticed the
smell, gonna keep doing it
and see how long it takes her to notice.”
Oh.
Oh! Got him!
Flirting. They’re, this
is office flirting.
It’s also like they’re very conscious
of when they’re in the bathroom, you know?
It’s like she, yeah. He
goes to the bathroom,
she throws out her lunch.
She goes to the bathroom.
Right.
It’s like…
Well that could be the best,
you know, depending on your job,
that could be the best
part of the day, Stevie.
Yeah.
When I worked as an engineer,
going to the bathroom
was like the best part of the day.
Oh Yeah.
You know?
I’d go to a whole other floor to do it.
It was like, all right, I’m
gonna go to the long way.
I’m gonna stop by and talk to Bill.
And here I go-
“Hey Bill, I’m going to do number two.
I’ll let you know what happens
on the way back through.”
You wanna walk around and
let everybody see your shoes,
so that when you’re taking
a dump in the bathroom
they can know that it’s you.
Ha!
Those were the days,
man. Those were the days.
Plus as engineers back then,
you had really cool shoes.
Oh yeah. Loafers.
Yeah, ’cause you had that clip on phone
onto your belt too.
I had a clip on phone. I
also had the clip on ID
that like zing, click, click, zing.
I will have you know, Stevie,
at my company, we wore jeans on Friday.
Oh!
But we still tucked our
collared shirts into them.
You wore, you dressed the same way.
Oh yeah.
You had to tuck your shirt in.
No one tried to find out what would happen
if they didn’t tuck their
shirt in. Like, you know-
But also like, was it,
it wasn’t like a cool-
Had to give respect.
You weren’t like, ooh,
I wish I could wear this
ill-fitting polo not tucked in to my jeans
’cause that’s cool.
It was, fashion was like
not even remotely part of the calculation.
It was just like, this collared shirt
is this color, these pants are khaki,
these shoes are brown and
everyone dressed exactly the same.
Yeah.
Well, yeah. Well, yeah.
Okay.
This next story comes from
Redditor, Chief Pompadour.
Oh.
“At my previous job,
we had separate refrigerators
for the different shifts.”
Wow, all this drama really centers around
you know, work environment-
Food.
Food at work.
The things that matter.
“We had separate refrigerators
for different shifts.
Our food was constantly
being stolen or messed with.
One day my buddy and I decided to…”
Switch the Fridges.
First thing I thought was like,
I mean I would totally
put a camera on the fridge
to catch who was doing this stuff.
Like, I wanna know who’s doing it,
so we can, they can be targeted.
Yeah, yeah.
I think it’s the old switcheroo.
The old big, bag, fri-uh,
big fridge switcheroo.
So they switched the total fridges?
They took everything from one fridge
and put it exactly the
same in the other fridge.
So then they were raiding
their own fridge contents?
I’m not, I haven’t really
thought this through,
but that’s the first
thing that came to mind.
I think that’s it, man. Yeah.
You’re agreeing?
They switched everything in the fridges,
so when they raided the other fridge,
they were only raiding themselves.
Here’s my second answer.
Okay.
They glued the fridge shut,
but they installed a
little tiny fridge door
inside the door that
was like the size of the
like a refrigerator for a mouse.
So like a peephole?
So you could open it and look in
and grab things, one at a time.
But it was just small enough
so that anything you grabbed,
you couldn’t get out.
So if you grabbed it, you got stuck.
You got me, Rhett. That’s gotta be it.
That’s it.
My secondary answer has
become my primary answer.
Well, both really great guesses,
but they decided to,
“Make a nice cherry cheesecake
out of cooking lard.
We finished it off with
graham cracker crust
and cut a couple slices out of it
since we knew the thief
wouldn’t be brazen enough
to take the first bite.
We never found out who the thief was
but we never had to worry
about anyone messing
with our food ever again.”
Dang, they set a fat trap.
That is smart.
Dang, and to cut a couple of slices out
and you know when somebody starts eating
some stolen cheesecake,
it takes ’em a few bites to
realize that they’re into
something bad.
Ooh, yeah.
‘Cause they wanna love
it ’cause they stole it.
Maybe it’s me.
They want to justify it.
Maybe it tastes bad cause it’s naughty.
Okay, hopefully this next one
is not about office food,
not that I don’t love hearing about it.
And little doors.
It’s paraphrased from SomeUsername47.
“I live in a college dorm
on an all female floor.
One day I went down the hall
to refill my water bottle
in a tank top without a bra on.”
Okay, I’m liking this better.
I’m tracking, I’m tracking.
“There had been a small
group of people hanging
out in the halls, and I
didn’t think much of it
until one of the girls knocked on my door
and asked me not to walk
around without a bra
because her boyfriend
was there and saw me.”
I don’t like this.
“I agreed and apologized but
later overheard her telling
the story as if I’d gone out of my way
to seduce her boyfriend.
It escalated even further
when an RA told us
someone had used the
anonymous complaint form
to complain about how people
had been dressing indecently,
and reminded us all to cover up.”
Don’t get me started with-
What kind of bull shh is this?
This is just, you know,
you’ve got kids these days,
they think they can, they think they can,
they think they can just lodge a complaint
and then just totally
turn against somebody.
They love to complain about it.
Like it’s a problem.
This generation.
It’s a problem.
This generation.
It’s like, “Oh, I’m gonna
totally write this person off
and now I’m gonna be
making up stuff about ’em
and I’m gonna confront ’em,
they’re gonna give a nice apology,
and yet I’m still gonna spread rumors
and submit anonymous
complaints”. It’s like-
Rather than just talking
to somebody, first of all-
Yeah. Just mind your own business.
But first of all, don’t have a problem
with something you shouldn’t
have a problem with
and then if you do have to
have a problem with something,
talk to them about it.
Don’t target people.
It’s so, I mean it’s so,
it it makes me angrier
than satisfying videos cut short.
Yeah. If we didn’t have these
bubble suits on right now,
we’d come right through that
screen and take care of it.
I need some sweet revenge Stevie,
this one better be good.
I think this is probably,
next time she knew
that the boyfriend was coming over,
she went to the girl’s dorm
room, she glued the door shut.
She put a little door
inside her dorm room door,
and then she took one booby
and stuck it in the door.
They call it a teat hole.
Yeah, right.
That’s what I think she did.
Most of my answers have to do
with putting little doors
in things, I realize that.
Come up with something better than that.
I think it has to do with
she took all of the bras.
She stole her bras?
She took all her bras.
She stole the girl’s brasiers.
And she strung them together.
Uh huh?
And put them through that little door.
Oh haha. Yeah. That’s what
she did. I think I like this.
And she started pulling
on ’em and it’s like,
oh, my bra is coming
through the little door
and then it’s like, oh, it’s
two bras, it’s three bras.
Yep.
It’s all my bras.
Every one of them. How’d
they get out there?
“I wish my boyfriend was here
to help me pull on my bras.
Oh my gosh, I’m afraid of
what my boyfriend’s gonna do
if he sees another girl
with her tank top on.”
It’s gonna cause him to stumble.
Okay
We’re pretty close to it?
Yeah.
“I’m afraid that my boyfriend
is gonna be influenced,
and can’t control himself.
I love boys who I have
to do everything for them
and make sure that they don’t
do anything inappropriate.”
Wow. This feels, this feels fresh, man.
“I knew that the girl’s
boyfriend didn’t go
to school with us, and
because of the pandemic,
we weren’t allowed to have non-student
or non-family guests at the dorm.
So I used the same
anonymous complaint form
to complain about people bringing
their off-campus boyfriends to our dorm.
Our RA emailed to say
that due to the complaint,
they’d be enforcing the no
off-campus visitor rules
and checking IDs of all guests.”
Ooh!
“So she no longer needs to worry
about her boyfriend seeing anything.”
Okay.
So let the tatas waggle.
I appreciate this, but I also feel like
this revenge involved everyone
suffering a little bit.
You just wanted a little door,
that’s why you’re upset.
If everyone had a little door.
He just wanted a little door.
Everybody gets something.
He just wanted a little door.
I’m gonna put it in the complaint box.
“I believe everyone should
have a little door.”
It’s not targeted at
anyone, everyone benefits.
Next week you put another
complaint in the box.
“Where are those little doors?”
Yes, “Following up on my previous request
for little doors.
Still have not seen the
construction process begin.”
“It’s been three weeks,
I’ve seen no movement
on the little door front.”
The Little Door Front. That’s
what the movement’s called.
‘Cause I get people to sign a petition,
would you like to join
the Little Door Front?
We all wear the same T-shirts.
Just says “Little Doors”
inside of a heart.
You know what I’m saying?
Little, little, we love little doors.
Love little doors.
Wanna remind you,
my dad’s podcast is in video form,
first episode’s out
today. Watch my dad talk.
He’s, man.
Watch my dad read your emails.
He’s got a great voice.
But you add the face in
there and it’s even better.
Watch my dad try to decipher
what your jokes mean.
Yeah, it’s great.
Youtube.com/dispatchesfrommyrtlebeach.
Subscribe. Click the bell. Every Thursday.
Hmm.
Okay, this is from JimmyRickyBobbyBilly.
“This morning traffic
was totally backed up
due to a fender bender
in a construction zone.
This woman decided to try and
blast by all of us by getting
into the left turn only lane
to force her way up front.
Lot’s of honking-”
Left what?
Left turn only.
Left, yeah.
Okay.
“Lots of honking and middle fingers
didn’t stop her, so I
hatched my evil plan.”
What did JimmyRickyBobbyBilly do?
Well if she already passed him…
Right? That’s the safe assumption?
So then I guess he had to whip
it over, and get behind her.
This is tough, man.
Well, what you could do,
let’s say that she pulls over,
goes up there, but then
she’s not able to get back in
and he gets up there
where he’s even with her.
You gotta, first of all, you
gotta be really careful, like.
Yeah, you gotta be really careful.
In LA, like people do dumb stuff a lot.
Just ’cause there’s so many
people and it’s crazy traffic.
I almost always just
have no, I’m no response.
Do not do anything.
I hardly ever honk a horn.
If somebody acting like
a ass on the roads-
‘Cause you just don’t know, man.
You don’t know about these folks.
Do not do anything. Please.
So that being said, we can
laugh at what this guy did,
but like, don’t do anything.
Just take it on the chin. Move
on. Just drive on. Drive on.
I like to talk to myself
in those moments though.
Talk to yourself.
Yeah. It’s good to get-
Say you dumb idiot! You’re an idiot!
It’s good to get it out.
It’s good to get it out.
That’s what I do.
Yeah, Yeah. Yeah, but that’s all.
Now-
Don’t gesture. Don’t honk.
Don’t, definitely don’t
do what this guy did.
Yeah. I think I-
Whatever it is.
I’ve thought about it a little bit.
I think I know what he did.
He got out there next to her,
he cut her off a little bit.
He got out and put a little
door on her door real fast.
Right, did he open the door?
He put a little door
on her passenger door.
He stuck his hand through,
and gave her the finger.
Pulled it back, got in his truck and went,
’cause he was a, he’s a door guy.
He was actually on his way
to that all girls college.
To install a little door?
To do the doors in every single room.
Y’all hear what JimmyRickyBobbyBilly did?
Did you hear what a little door guy did
on his way to get a little doors?
He put a little door on a car.
He did it so fast, she
didn’t know what hit her
and then he did a bird through it.
He did a bird through it?
He did a bird through the little door.
Man.
What did he do, Stevie?
Oh, Link’s not? Link agrees? Link agrees.
I think he agrees.
I def- I agree.
“I wave at her nicely and
point to her back tire.
Then I motion to her to
roll down her window,
and tell her her tires really low
and she should pull
over to the gas station,
put some air in it. She
smiles, says thanks,
and pulls into the gas station.
I drive off as she’s getting out
to check her perfectly fine tire.
The gas station exit is
right where the accident was.
It probably added 20
minutes to her commute
to pull in there and try
and get it back out.”
This isn’t bad. This isn’t bad.
I, again, I don’t advise it, but it was,
it was passive aggressive.
Under the guise of helping.
And she’ll never catch up with you.
Unless you’ve got a sign that
says like little door guy
with a phone number and a website.
Right
At that point, she’s gonna,
she’ll know exactly where to find you.
Your back tire’s flat, the
little door on your tires open.
You need to get, you gotta
close that rubber door.
Dispatches from Myrtle Beach
now has a YouTube channel,
and the very first video is out right now.
Check it out.
The Avenger Story in Video Games
Here we go.
Welcome to “Good Mythical More”-
Oh gosh.
Oh-kay.
So today in “Good Mythical
More”, What are we doing?
I’m gonna tell you revenge stories.
Petty revenge stories.
Oh, and we have to predict how they end?
Yeah.
Okay.
But first we have to boogie down now
without busting a bubble.
Is the music stopped?
That music didn’t
finish, is that the joke?
Not funny!
Oh, no, no, don’t, don’t,
don’t bust your bubble.
I’m surprised nothing
popped when I sat down.
It’s all about even distribution.
So remember that-
So, predict the revenge story, huh?
The last time you were in a bubble wrap?
Freecreditreport.com.
Not a sponsor, they were.
Yeah.
That was a fun video shoot.
It was.
We popped all types of bubbles
and we made bubble suits,
but they weren’t this nice.
They were super thick.
Well, they were thick,
they were like multiple layers
so we could just keep popping and popping.
We squeezed each other.
Okay. Revenge stories.
Doesn’t pop.
This first one comes
from user Runner B-One.
Runner Boy?
Yeah. On “Reddit”.
“My coworker sometimes
throws out her lunch
in the garbage can at my
desk instead of her own
because she claims she
can’t stand the smell
of old ketchup that’s been
sitting out for a couple hours.
I have asked her several times to stop,
but she will then just wait until I get up
to go to the bathroom and do it
and hide my garbage can under my desk,
so she thinks I won’t see it.”
How did this person get their revenge?
Huh.
This is a pretty crappy
thing to do, first of all.
I think this is, is this flirting?
It’s easy to just throw something away.
You know? It’s just like…
It’s ineffective flirting.
What is the, well, what’s
the other explanation
for why she’s so hardheaded about it?
Women.
Women.
Wait, I think it’s, I, okay, I mean,
I’m trying to put my so,
I’m trying to imagine-
I know what he did.
The situation in which
this would make sense.
Like, maybe they’re one
of those places that like
they’ve laid everyone off, and
there just two people working
at the end of a very large,
like room in two little cubicles
and so there’s no other trash can,
like that’s the only explanation
that would make this justified.
Why wouldn’t you go to
the communal trash can?
No it’s implied that she has her own- Oh.
Right, why wouldn’t you go?
Why wouldn’t you just? Yeah.
“Oh, I don’t wanna get up.”
It’s either her trash can or his trash can
is what you’re saying. Yeah.
I think what he did was
he squirted a bunch of
ketchup underneath her desk.
So that it-
It just got old and stayed down there.
The smell.
It’s like the atomic dump
where you take a dump
in the tank of someone’s toilet.
Yep. They call that an upper decker.
Yeah and they, boy,
they smell it for days.
They don’t know what’s
wrong, they call a plumber.
Every time you flush it
puts more poop in the bowl.
Yeah. It fills it up with
poop water, every time.
It’s a beautiful thing.
Don’t recommend it, but we did it.
It’s actually hard to do.
It was like a college prank thing.
It’s like when you’re up
there trying to do it,
it’s just like, you know,
it’s not made to be sat upon.
If You’re that elevated, it’s
tough to let yourself relax.
Yeah. And plus you’re like,
the people that you’re pranking
are just outside the door.
Right.
Presumably, they might
be like, you know…
Yeah.
It’s a high risk situation.
We don’t recommend it.
What do you think that he do?
I think that…
These won’t pop.
She was eating her, she
was about to eat her lunch.
He had finished his lunch,
and he took her full lunch
and threw it in the trash can,
and then put his trash lunch
and put it where her lunch was.
Ooh, gotcha!
All right. Who’s closer?
“Every time she does it,
I wait until she goes to the bathroom,
take out the little plastic container
that she had ketchup in and put it
way in the back of her bottom desk drawer.
There are six in there now,
the oldest is over a month old.
So far she hasn’t noticed the
smell, gonna keep doing it
and see how long it takes her to notice.”
Oh.
Oh! Got him!
Flirting. They’re, this
is office flirting.
It’s also like they’re very conscious
of when they’re in the bathroom, you know?
It’s like she, yeah. He
goes to the bathroom,
she throws out her lunch.
She goes to the bathroom.
Right.
It’s like…
Well that could be the best,
you know, depending on your job,
that could be the best
part of the day, Stevie.
Yeah.
When I worked as an engineer,
going to the bathroom
was like the best part of the day.
Oh Yeah.
You know?
I’d go to a whole other floor to do it.
It was like, all right, I’m
gonna go to the long way.
I’m gonna stop by and talk to Bill.
And here I go-
“Hey Bill, I’m going to do number two.
I’ll let you know what happens
on the way back through.”
You wanna walk around and
let everybody see your shoes,
so that when you’re taking
a dump in the bathroom
they can know that it’s you.
Ha!
Those were the days,
man. Those were the days.
Plus as engineers back then,
you had really cool shoes.
Oh yeah. Loafers.
Yeah, ’cause you had that clip on phone
onto your belt too.
I had a clip on phone. I
also had the clip on ID
that like zing, click, click, zing.
I will have you know, Stevie,
at my company, we wore jeans on Friday.
Oh!
But we still tucked our
collared shirts into them.
You wore, you dressed the same way.
Oh yeah.
You had to tuck your shirt in.
No one tried to find out what would happen
if they didn’t tuck their
shirt in. Like, you know-
But also like, was it,
it wasn’t like a cool-
Had to give respect.
You weren’t like, ooh,
I wish I could wear this
ill-fitting polo not tucked in to my jeans
’cause that’s cool.
It was, fashion was like
not even remotely part of the calculation.
It was just like, this collared shirt
is this color, these pants are khaki,
these shoes are brown and
everyone dressed exactly the same.
Yeah.
Well, yeah. Well, yeah.
Okay.
This next story comes from
Redditor, Chief Pompadour.
Oh.
“At my previous job,
we had separate refrigerators
for the different shifts.”
Wow, all this drama really centers around
you know, work environment-
Food.
Food at work.
The things that matter.
“We had separate refrigerators
for different shifts.
Our food was constantly
being stolen or messed with.
One day my buddy and I decided to…”
Switch the Fridges.
First thing I thought was like,
I mean I would totally
put a camera on the fridge
to catch who was doing this stuff.
Like, I wanna know who’s doing it,
so we can, they can be targeted.
Yeah, yeah.
I think it’s the old switcheroo.
The old big, bag, fri-uh,
big fridge switcheroo.
So they switched the total fridges?
They took everything from one fridge
and put it exactly the
same in the other fridge.
So then they were raiding
their own fridge contents?
I’m not, I haven’t really
thought this through,
but that’s the first
thing that came to mind.
I think that’s it, man. Yeah.
You’re agreeing?
They switched everything in the fridges,
so when they raided the other fridge,
they were only raiding themselves.
Here’s my second answer.
Okay.
They glued the fridge shut,
but they installed a
little tiny fridge door
inside the door that
was like the size of the
like a refrigerator for a mouse.
So like a peephole?
So you could open it and look in
and grab things, one at a time.
But it was just small enough
so that anything you grabbed,
you couldn’t get out.
So if you grabbed it, you got stuck.
You got me, Rhett. That’s gotta be it.
That’s it.
My secondary answer has
become my primary answer.
Well, both really great guesses,
but they decided to,
“Make a nice cherry cheesecake
out of cooking lard.
We finished it off with
graham cracker crust
and cut a couple slices out of it
since we knew the thief
wouldn’t be brazen enough
to take the first bite.
We never found out who the thief was
but we never had to worry
about anyone messing
with our food ever again.”
Dang, they set a fat trap.
That is smart.
Dang, and to cut a couple of slices out
and you know when somebody starts eating
some stolen cheesecake,
it takes ’em a few bites to
realize that they’re into
something bad.
Ooh, yeah.
‘Cause they wanna love
it ’cause they stole it.
Maybe it’s me.
They want to justify it.
Maybe it tastes bad cause it’s naughty.
Okay, hopefully this next one
is not about office food,
not that I don’t love hearing about it.
And little doors.
It’s paraphrased from SomeUsername47.
“I live in a college dorm
on an all female floor.
One day I went down the hall
to refill my water bottle
in a tank top without a bra on.”
Okay, I’m liking this better.
I’m tracking, I’m tracking.
“There had been a small
group of people hanging
out in the halls, and I
didn’t think much of it
until one of the girls knocked on my door
and asked me not to walk
around without a bra
because her boyfriend
was there and saw me.”
I don’t like this.
“I agreed and apologized but
later overheard her telling
the story as if I’d gone out of my way
to seduce her boyfriend.
It escalated even further
when an RA told us
someone had used the
anonymous complaint form
to complain about how people
had been dressing indecently,
and reminded us all to cover up.”
Don’t get me started with-
What kind of bull shh is this?
This is just, you know,
you’ve got kids these days,
they think they can, they think they can,
they think they can just lodge a complaint
and then just totally
turn against somebody.
They love to complain about it.
Like it’s a problem.
This generation.
It’s a problem.
This generation.
It’s like, “Oh, I’m gonna
totally write this person off
and now I’m gonna be
making up stuff about ’em
and I’m gonna confront ’em,
they’re gonna give a nice apology,
and yet I’m still gonna spread rumors
and submit anonymous
complaints”. It’s like-
Rather than just talking
to somebody, first of all-
Yeah. Just mind your own business.
But first of all, don’t have a problem
with something you shouldn’t
have a problem with
and then if you do have to
have a problem with something,
talk to them about it.
Don’t target people.
It’s so, I mean it’s so,
it it makes me angrier
than satisfying videos cut short.
Yeah. If we didn’t have these
bubble suits on right now,
we’d come right through that
screen and take care of it.
I need some sweet revenge Stevie,
this one better be good.
I think this is probably,
next time she knew
that the boyfriend was coming over,
she went to the girl’s dorm
room, she glued the door shut.
She put a little door
inside her dorm room door,
and then she took one booby
and stuck it in the door.
They call it a teat hole.
Yeah, right.
That’s what I think she did.
Most of my answers have to do
with putting little doors
in things, I realize that.
Come up with something better than that.
I think it has to do with
she took all of the bras.
She stole her bras?
She took all her bras.
She stole the girl’s brasiers.
And she strung them together.
Uh huh?
And put them through that little door.
Oh haha. Yeah. That’s what
she did. I think I like this.
And she started pulling
on ’em and it’s like,
oh, my bra is coming
through the little door
and then it’s like, oh, it’s
two bras, it’s three bras.
Yep.
It’s all my bras.
Every one of them. How’d
they get out there?
“I wish my boyfriend was here
to help me pull on my bras.
Oh my gosh, I’m afraid of
what my boyfriend’s gonna do
if he sees another girl
with her tank top on.”
It’s gonna cause him to stumble.
Okay
We’re pretty close to it?
Yeah.
“I’m afraid that my boyfriend
is gonna be influenced,
and can’t control himself.
I love boys who I have
to do everything for them
and make sure that they don’t
do anything inappropriate.”
Wow. This feels, this feels fresh, man.
“I knew that the girl’s
boyfriend didn’t go
to school with us, and
because of the pandemic,
we weren’t allowed to have non-student
or non-family guests at the dorm.
So I used the same
anonymous complaint form
to complain about people bringing
their off-campus boyfriends to our dorm.
Our RA emailed to say
that due to the complaint,
they’d be enforcing the no
off-campus visitor rules
and checking IDs of all guests.”
Ooh!
“So she no longer needs to worry
about her boyfriend seeing anything.”
Okay.
So let the tatas waggle.
I appreciate this, but I also feel like
this revenge involved everyone
suffering a little bit.
You just wanted a little door,
that’s why you’re upset.
If everyone had a little door.
He just wanted a little door.
Everybody gets something.
He just wanted a little door.
I’m gonna put it in the complaint box.
“I believe everyone should
have a little door.”
It’s not targeted at
anyone, everyone benefits.
Next week you put another
complaint in the box.
“Where are those little doors?”
Yes, “Following up on my previous request
for little doors.
Still have not seen the
construction process begin.”
“It’s been three weeks,
I’ve seen no movement
on the little door front.”
The Little Door Front. That’s
what the movement’s called.
‘Cause I get people to sign a petition,
would you like to join
the Little Door Front?
We all wear the same T-shirts.
Just says “Little Doors”
inside of a heart.
You know what I’m saying?
Little, little, we love little doors.
Love little doors.
Wanna remind you,
my dad’s podcast is in video form,
first episode’s out
today. Watch my dad talk.
He’s, man.
Watch my dad read your emails.
He’s got a great voice.
But you add the face in
there and it’s even better.
Watch my dad try to decipher
what your jokes mean.
Yeah, it’s great.
Youtube.com/dispatchesfrommyrtlebeach.
Subscribe. Click the bell. Every Thursday.
Hmm.
Okay, this is from JimmyRickyBobbyBilly.
“This morning traffic
was totally backed up
due to a fender bender
in a construction zone.
This woman decided to try and
blast by all of us by getting
into the left turn only lane
to force her way up front.
Lot’s of honking-”
Left what?
Left turn only.
Left, yeah.
Okay.
“Lots of honking and middle fingers
didn’t stop her, so I
hatched my evil plan.”
What did JimmyRickyBobbyBilly do?
Well if she already passed him…
Right? That’s the safe assumption?
So then I guess he had to whip
it over, and get behind her.
This is tough, man.
Well, what you could do,
let’s say that she pulls over,
goes up there, but then
she’s not able to get back in
and he gets up there
where he’s even with her.
You gotta, first of all, you
gotta be really careful, like.
Yeah, you gotta be really careful.
In LA, like people do dumb stuff a lot.
Just ’cause there’s so many
people and it’s crazy traffic.
I almost always just
have no, I’m no response.
Do not do anything.
I hardly ever honk a horn.
If somebody acting like
a ass on the roads-
‘Cause you just don’t know, man.
You don’t know about these folks.
Do not do anything. Please.
So that being said, we can
laugh at what this guy did,
but like, don’t do anything.
Just take it on the chin. Move
on. Just drive on. Drive on.
I like to talk to myself
in those moments though.
Talk to yourself.
Yeah. It’s good to get-
Say you dumb idiot! You’re an idiot!
It’s good to get it out.
It’s good to get it out.
That’s what I do.
Yeah, Yeah. Yeah, but that’s all.
Now-
Don’t gesture. Don’t honk.
Don’t, definitely don’t
do what this guy did.
Yeah. I think I-
Whatever it is.
I’ve thought about it a little bit.
I think I know what he did.
He got out there next to her,
he cut her off a little bit.
He got out and put a little
door on her door real fast.
Right, did he open the door?
He put a little door
on her passenger door.
He stuck his hand through,
and gave her the finger.
Pulled it back, got in his truck and went,
’cause he was a, he’s a door guy.
He was actually on his way
to that all girls college.
To install a little door?
To do the doors in every single room.
Y’all hear what JimmyRickyBobbyBilly did?
Did you hear what a little door guy did
on his way to get a little doors?
He put a little door on a car.
He did it so fast, she
didn’t know what hit her
and then he did a bird through it.
He did a bird through it?
He did a bird through the little door.
Man.
What did he do, Stevie?
Oh, Link’s not? Link agrees? Link agrees.
I think he agrees.
I def- I agree.
“I wave at her nicely and
point to her back tire.
Then I motion to her to
roll down her window,
and tell her her tires really low
and she should pull
over to the gas station,
put some air in it. She
smiles, says thanks,
and pulls into the gas station.
I drive off as she’s getting out
to check her perfectly fine tire.
The gas station exit is
right where the accident was.
It probably added 20
minutes to her commute
to pull in there and try
and get it back out.”
This isn’t bad. This isn’t bad.
I, again, I don’t advise it, but it was,
it was passive aggressive.
Under the guise of helping.
And she’ll never catch up with you.
Unless you’ve got a sign that
says like little door guy
with a phone number and a website.
Right
At that point, she’s gonna,
she’ll know exactly where to find you.
Your back tire’s flat, the
little door on your tires open.
You need to get, you gotta
close that rubber door.
Dispatches from Myrtle Beach
now has a YouTube channel,
and the very first video is out right now.
Check it out.
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