I’ve got something in my pocket for you, Dan. I don’t like the sound of that. No, it’s good. It’s not here. Take it
What is it? It’s a coin. Oh, yeah, what a coin. It’s a Valentine’s coin
Can I use it to purchase a Valentine’s Day™ gift for myself at Game Grumps dot-com slash merch?
That would have been such a better thing for this thing to have done
What?
You wanna try that sentence again? It’s I just I I
I just thought it was a neat coin, but the fact that you could trade it in for it. That’s such a better idea
Yeah, it’s too late now
At least you can still get merchants game of second slash merge really not with the coin though
Also, I use your money to buy this coin
Hey, I’m Grump. I’m not so Grump. And we’re the Game Grumps
Hello, and welcome to Choo-Choo Charles. What? I don’t know what this is, Arin. Oh
Choo-Choo Charles. Yes. It’s a it’s a game about trains. Yeah, it looks oddly sinister. No
Okay, all right
It might be a horror game, but that’s fine. No, it’s not at all. It’s a sweet little train. Okay named Charles and we’re oh wait
We need volume
Okay
A train. Sorry. Man, he can talk without moving his lips. It’s like he’s all just thinking it right now. He’s just like yes
Wow, they just show you right off the bat, eh? Wow, yeah, I mean, yeah
Friendly looking. That’s Charlie. That’s Choo-Choo Charlie? Yeah. Oh, so we have to go to an island to fight a train spider? Sure. Okay
Okay. Oof. This is a little. Whoa. Yeah, half train half keg of spider from hell
Well, he thinks a lot. Yeah
Arin near him? That’s your island
Stay close Charles. It’s the it’s the island that I’m near. Well done. Arin near, um
Okay, well just name it that. Oh my god
Hello, sup sup sup sup sup. Whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop
Whoop whoop. All right
I’m slipping his punches, you know? Yeah. He’s like
He’s like whoop aha whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop. Oh. By the beast.
Do you think he left any sandwiches? Okay. I’m a little hungry now that we’re on this island and there ain’t no Mickey D’s
You’re gonna be an indispensable tool on our journey. You’re an indispensable tool. Stay close. We don’t want to be exposed for too long.
All right, take them off. Yeah, well, I mean, why is that funny? Drop them
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa
That guy can really book it. I didn’t expect
Duh duh duh duh, duh duh duh, duh duh duh. Where you going? Where you going? Ah my Achilles. Bro, where you going? Where you going? Slow down.
Also, I wanted to say, you just reminded me
We did the power hour where we went to the rage room mm-hmm
And we were bashing cups and saucers with bats and things like that. Right. And you were like, I don’t like this. It’s very violent
Um, I didn’t think of it in the moment, but later I was thinking
He’s been training to punch people in boxing for like two- Yeah, but it’s different. It’s like a sport
Yeah, but it’s a human. Yeah, but like, you know, it’s like a challenge where you’re trying to get in and get out
It’s not about the hitting. It’s about like the- Oh, I think boxing is at least partially about the hitting
Well, I mean like the-
Breaking stuff
Just to break it. That’s like a different thing because you’re not like there’s not a challenge there. But it’s just a cup. Letting it out
It’s just a cup. That’s an interesting- we look at that in two different ways
Okay
Is it- is he talking to us? I think so, yeah. Okay. All right
I don’t know why we’re- Can you at least look at us when you talk? Yeah, I don’t know why we’re like swinging around
I’m like this like, huh? I’m trying to look at your beard. It doesn’t look like you shaved correctly today. Yeah
Let’s see if we can get the bottom
Very patchy. Yeah, very patchy
I’m gonna go and check out the key
Whoa, that’s the shack that’s got the key in it
Made me a first mission
Oh, my butthole is clenched tight. Think about when that key’s gonna get here
I hope a train doesn’t run into it
Oops, there’s a train
Alright
The key
Oh, I can feel it in my sphincter. He got the key. Mission complete. Cool
View items you’re collected by pressing whatever
Good on you. Looks like you found it
I found a key
Open up that door and lead the way
Which door? Open the door
Nice dude. Oh, this is a friendly train. Yeah, it’s a nice train. Okay, or maybe it’s like transforms or something
Hey, that’s what I’m talking about
Oh, yeah
She’s an oldie but a goodie
Ooh
It’s the train that turns into a tree and turns into a transformer
It’s Bumble Tree
Bumble Tree?
Kind of losing it over here. Okay
Inside, see what we got to work with
Okay
We’re still talking about the train, right? Yeah
Why don’t you take a peek inside?
Ooh
Train health a hundred percent. Speed level
I don’t know how many scraps so I can’t
Oh, so you’re gonna be driving around in a train
I guess so. Fighting this other train?
I don’t know
On an island?
Whoa
This, yeah
That’s awfully a lot what it looks like
Whoa
Dude
Yo, where’s that guy at?
Eugene!
Hey, look over here
Sorry
Got your nose
Got your nose?
Wow, it glows red after you shoot for a while
All guns have infinite ammo
Oh, yeah, because it overheats
Yeah, stop shooting and look
It’ll overheat
Oh
New guns can be earned in missions, okay
Okay, cool
Alrighty-tighty
Whoa, god, uh
But inside it’s all pink
Uh, my eyes are down here
Sorry, just looking at that forehead pimple you got
Is that a toupee?
What kind of hat is that?
This thing
This thing
You can’t wear that get-up-to-spooky-farm
Alright, let’s go
Um, um, um, um
Okay
We’re coming for you, Charles
I thought this one was Charles
It says Charles on the side
Uh, Arin?
No!
Oh, my god
Oh, no
Our tutorial friend
It’s gonna overheat
Oh, god
Oh, well, that’s just great
Well, he’s dead
I think he might have survived it
You think so?
I got a couple rocks
Great job, Arin
Thanks
I think he’s supposed to die
Eugene?
Buddy?
Oh, my god, Eugene!
One of your legs is weird, but I’m not gonna say which
Oh, sorry, I thought you were done
I’m sorry
Why not?
Uh-huh
I’m sorry, what?
Find the sperm
Were those two related, or?
Were those two related?
Eugene?
Alright, let’s go
Don’t put it in reverse
Why not?
Oh, sorry, Eugene
Am I, like, looking out for Charles?
We’ll be back with help!
So I just have to, like, keep a lookout for Charles?
I guess so
Charlie?
Yeah, not really much off-road exploring you can do when you’re on train tracks
Yeah, I guess I just kind of have to do my own thing
Oh, wait, there’s a map, though
Oh, it’s, like, still going, eh?
Does it show where Charlie is?
No
Unmet NPC optional mission
This is a required mission, okay, so I just gotta keep going straight
Yeah
Hey, Dan, if there was a train car and it was going really fast
And, um, on the track that it was going on
It was gonna kill three people
But you had the opportunity to switch the tracks
Um, oh, no, I don’t wanna do this, uh, stop
Ah, shit, I don’t wanna go that way
Um, you had the opportunity to switch
Fuck, I just missed the goddamn
Yeah, you missed your one possible turn
Well, I mean, I missed the tutorial on how to switch the train tracks
Okay, stop
Okay, stop
Do I have to do it manually?
Like, you have to hop out
Yeah, I can’t imagine you could do it on a train
I would assume so
Yep, there it is
Alright
Okay, so if there was a train, right, and there was a fork in the tracks, right, but
The one that was automatically going down was gonna kill three people
Uh-huh
Um, but you had the option to switch the tracks
So that it would only kill one person on the other track
Uh-huh
What would you do?
I’d probably kill the one person
But then you actively killed that person
Yeah, I think it’s one of those situations where inaction is the same as action
You know what I mean?
Yeah, fair enough
I mean, it’s a drag of a question either way, thanks for bringing it up
Yeah, no problem, it’s called the trolley problem
The trolley paradox
The paradox?
Uh
You can’t save if you’re killing
Oh
Hi
Hello
Good day
Oh
Friendly
Dean told us we’d have a newcomer soon
I suppose that would be you
Heaven has a newcomer too
Eugene
No, I think the newcomer’s the spider train
Oh, here he is now
That you could use to repair and upgrade your train
Oh, that’s fun
Here’s the key
And although the balcony is right behind me
I’ll just mark it on your map anyway
Does everyone, is everyone telepathic here?
Yeah
They’ll do whatever they can to help
Anyone not wearing a map
Charlie can see your lips move
We all have to talk like this
Check out the balcony and take whatever you can use
Okay
Good luck with everything
Thank you
My grandma used to call it shining
Open
What the hell, you said I could go in there
Candace said I could come in, hello?
Cand- Candace?
Candace is totally alive and said I could come in
Please don’t call for her
I super didn’t eat Candace
Hello?
Hello
Mmm, waffles
Scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap
Ooh, a map
We’ve been waiting as patiently as we can
But the past few days have been chaotic, to say the least
Charles has been more aggressive lately
To the point where I’m starting to fear how many of us will be left by the time help arrives
Godspeed Eugene, we’re counting on you
Hopefully you’re not dead when you’re reading this
Mission completed
Now you have some resources
Okay, thank you
Time to upgrade my fucking train, baby
Time to upgrade my fucking train, baby
It’s an interesting game
Boo!
Haha
Hilarious
Alright, let’s upgrade my train
I can upgrade the speed level
Weapon damage, oh
Mmm, sure
I feel like I should do that first
3 to 5
You only have 3 scraps
Oh, level 3, 5 scraps, got it
Um, okay
Yeah, why not
Cool
There you go
I am level 1 upgraded
Let’s get the fuck out of here, bruh
Check
Charles?
Charlie?
Charlie? Charles? Charles the choo choo?
If it wasn’t raining, this would be a much different game
Like if it was just a bright, beautiful day on the island
Yeah
Howdy there, pardner!
Hey
There’s a spider train sunbathing around yonder
Is this a place?
Wanna take a look at the map?
Yeah, let’s see if there’s anyone coming up
Oh
Oh yeah
We got an optional mission, bruh
Hello
Hello
Oh hey, what’s up?
Good day, sir
Lemme in
Hello
Now
Kiss my head, dick
Okay, well
What the hell’s going on with his deltoids?
Yeah, I don’t know
Okay
Okay
Thanks
Might let you run your fingers over my chest
Just for a bit, though
I’ll only get a little horny
I’ll let you go all the way if you open up that chest
But not too fast
There’s a spider train around
You don’t wanna be caught in the act when the spider train’s coming around
Uh, so you wanted me to open a chest
Boop
And this is this one, okay, so it’s over here
Okay
Pick the lock on the chest in Daryl’s junkyard, so there’s a train over there, got it
It’s like over here
Doop-a-doop-a-doop
Scooby-dooby-doop
Is this it?
Ah, oop, hello
Chest
Chest
Chest
Got it
Oh
Got it, got it
Oh
Oh
Yep
Got it
Fuck
Mini games are fun
You’d think I’d be better at this because of Dead by Daylight
I don’t know that game
We’ve played it on Grumps like three times
Really?
Yeah
What am I thinking of?
Well
I don’t know what you’re thinking of, apparently you’re thinking of nothing
Yeah
I was thinking of uh
It’s the one where you
Oh, Red Dead Redemption
That’s what I was thinking
It’s the one where you play as a killer
Yes
For survivors
Okay, yes, sorry
I was getting confused with the cowboy game
It’s a lot of dead, dead games
Fuck
I’ll just let you do this
I think it’s because I’m anticipating like there’s some lag
But there’s no lag
Cool
There you go
Turn to Daryl to complete your mission
Oh, looks like you opened that chest over there
Mmm
What are you doing later?
No!
Alright
Well, fancy fingers here got the chest unlocked
That’s an odd looking piece of junk you found inside there
That I’ve let down to be frank
Well, maybe I’ll let you give me an H.J.
How many?
How many?
HOW MANY?!
Alright, train time
Let’s upgrade this fucking train
Is this just the loop right here?
Is this it?
You just get scraps
Whoa, that’s a lot of scraps
Damn, son
Let me like get the train a little
My god, you’re gonna have like a super jacked up train
Never mind, you’re out of scraps
Well, I jacked it up pretty good
Yeah
Damage level 4, armor level 4
I’m feeling pretty good about that
Good work
Where’s Charlie?
Charlie!
Alright
Take me to your chocolate factory
I’ve got the golden ticket
Oh, is this it already?
Am I here?
Oh yeah, how about that?
Stop, stop it
Try not to fast
Like break your ankles getting out of the train
Do you mind if I steal your scrap?
What’s up?
Monster Hunter has arrived I see
He’s way up there
I’m sorry, is there something flying above me?
It’s like waving your hand up in the air
Hello
There may be a way to get Charles to commit to a mortal battle, however
Dispersed around the island are three eggs
Locked in the island’s three primary mines
There are three trolls guarding each egg
Our theory is that putting these eggs in the temple at the center of the island will provoke Charles into a fight to the death
Oh, that seems obvious
Unfortunately, the mining company owner, Warren Charles III, has placed armed guards inside each mine to protect the eggs
Okay
There’s an egg in the mine just down the rail
Oh
Here’s the key to the mine
I’ve marked the entrance on your map
Thank you
Thank you
Thanks
Thank you
Little help?
Okay, I’ll see you later
See you later
That was awkward
Should we check out that red person?
Uh, that’s a weapon mission, bro
But sure
I mean, why the fuck not?
I mean, yeah, I think we should at least chat with the folks
Wee!
Why wouldn’t we want to get to know the lovely people of this neighborhood?
Hmm, seems welcoming
Feels like the place where they sacrificed virgins to Donkey Kong
I mean, King Kong
Donkey Kong?
He’s got the barrel!
More bananas, please
And virgins
Because his back is to the fire
Oh
Ah, shoot dang
I usually say that when my house burns down
Impressive that I managed to burn down my house in the pouring rain, don’t you think?
I’m sorry, wait, so
Wait
So you need the flamethrower while the fire’s raging
But once it’s out, then you don’t need it anymore?
That’s right
But you don’t want the house to be on fire
His head looks like a well-cooked hot dog
Like the top of it
It’s so dead, like it’s gonna split
I’d assume you’re the monster hunter that folks have been expecting
So a weapon like this could come in handy
Sure could
I would love it if you gave it to me
Yeah
Let’s keep going
Okay
Bug spray, please
Find a way to extinguish the fire
Okay
Sure
Ow, ow, ow, sorry
Find a way to extinguish the fire
It’s falling from the sky
Wait
Ten minutes
Yeah
I found a way
Um
It’s out
God did it
Uh, I guess I gotta go up there
Get myself some kind of tea
That guy had a nice long conversation
For someone whose house is burning to the ground
Well, looks like all my possessions
My dog and my wife are in there
I’ll give you the flamethrower if you put out the fire
Wanna go to Kmart?
I sure feel free now that I have less possessions
And probably no wife
Probably
Using the water tank to put out the fire
Pure genius
I mean, really not
It was raining
Here, take old bug spray
Cause of this chaos
Okay
It’s the flamethrower he named it
Oh, got it
I thought bug spray was like the name of some chemical that made the train come alive and be a spider
That was very presumptuous of you
Well, I zoned out for a second when he said it was the flamethrower’s name
So I had to make my own rules
Yeah
Oh, I thought bug spray was the name of this guy with blonde hair and blue eyes who was standing around a mine shaft
Bug spray, what’s up, man?
Yeah, no, nobody said that
Alright, woah
Oh, it’s bug spray
Great
Oh, I guess you can put either one on the back of your train
Oh
Woah, dude
Well done
That’s fucking cool
Alright, epic
It overheats pretty fast, but
That’s fine
I guess it is shooting flames
Is Charles gonna show up on the map if I’m looking at the map?
I don’t know
You asked that before, but I still don’t know the answer
Chugga chugga choo choo, Charles
Where is he?
Yeah, we haven’t seen much of him
But I guess when there’s only one enemy, they can’t overdo it
I’m getting a little T.O.’d, honestly
I’m getting a little looks around
T.O.’d
Woah, it’s been a while since you’ve robbed before
Thanks
Yeah, that brings me back
Yeah
Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me
Open up
Egg
Would anybody like an egg in this trying time?
What? Who says that?
Frank in It’s Always Sunny
Really? That’s awesome
Urgent letter to Mr. Warren
While mining the farthest tunnel
That’s Eugene
He’s kinda like a normal voice, didn’t he?
He was like
I need to add more of these moments, I think
Warren mining the farthest tunnel
How long has it been since we’ve seen him?
It was like 10 minutes
I don’t remember what he sounds like
There’s something strange here and we don’t know what it is
We’re requesting Mr. Warren visit the southern mine site at his earliest convenience to give us further instruction
You got it, Senator
Where do I go?
Why do I have to do stealth?
The enemies?
What the fuck?
Oh dear
Perhaps the train is not your only enemy
Who, who?
Perhaps the real enemy is within
Is within
You must hunt the most dangerous game
Man
Man
The most dangerous game man
The most dangerous game man
No, game man
Alright, well, enunciation’s important because those are two very different things
You must hunt the most dangerous game man
He said it again
No, game man
Alright
Game comma man
You must hunt the most dangerous game man
We’ve got a real who’s on first situation here
Oh, there’s a whistler
We got a whistler on our hands
Is he an enemy?
I think so
Egg
Is he gonna come back this way or is he going in a circle?
Maybe he’s just whistling while he works
Oh no, it looks like he has a weapon
He definitely has some kind of gun
See ya
Do you have some kind of gun?
I do not
Neat
I have a flamethrower that I could probably use outside of the train
Where’s my egg?
I just hear it from the back of the mine
You just hear, oh shit
Bus is gonna kill me
There’s always time to steal more
Well done
Cool, green paint
Oh, now you can customize your train
Awesome, that’s so useful
It is useful, I love it
I’m sure you love it
Have you ever tried to paint a train in the rain?
Dude, I’ve never tried to rain paint rain
I do it mainly on the plane
I do want to paint my train now
I think I found another color as well
Wow, yeah, you have many choices
Hey
Green train
Sleek
Nice
Earthy
You know what, I didn’t think I would think that was as cool as I do, but
Here we are
Your train looks awesome
This feels like Charlie’s gonna come out
Getting an egg is like a
That’s like a significant point in the game, right?
Did you
Oh yeah
Collecting the eggs is like the main deal
Yeah
And you have to find that guy’s son
What’s going on? Am I stopping?
What do you mean?
I just made noises
Oh, this is a long stretch
Hey, your little train is green
This has got to be a Charlie stretch
Come on
I think I’m all excited for him to show up now
Show yourself
Charles
Who’s in charge?
Charles in charge of our days and our nights
Oh god
Oh Charles
Love
Come on Charles, what the fuck
Ooh
Precarious
Charles
I don’t even know where I’m headed now
Oh here I guess
That’s a required
I met NPCs
And there’s one along the way too
Just on your right
Oh
Oh stop, don’t, don’t turn
Fuck
You fucked up
I’m sorry
No, it’s okay
Dan, no
Please
Alright, let’s go
Da da da da da da da
Da da da da da da da da da da da da da
Da da da da da da da da da da
What is this?
Nothing I give a dang about
I got to go to the next required mission
If I won’t get laid, I mean get this egg
Wow, everyone’s really got their own agenda today
Aw shit, I went the wrong way again
Come on
It’s just
You’ve not made one
single correct turn
Well they’re all set to the wrong direction
Well you’re looking at a map
Well you know what, I’m not going to give you sauce
We’re trying to accomplish the same thing here
What do you think I am, Zane?
Or Harry Styles?
Billy Zane?
Cause they’re one direction
Oh god Charles
Oh fuck
You better get moving
What? Oh yeah you’re right
I should probably move
Okay
No not forward
Oh god
Charles
You’re getting burned
Oh god headshot
Oh my god look at how much life he has
He’s like Jason
That’s okay
This fucking flamethrowers
It’s doing well
Take it take it take it take it
He hates it
This is gross
It’s really unsettling
Yeah he hates the shit out of this
Yeah
Good job Arin
I’m gonna miss him
We sure had some good times
Sweet little eyes
You have kind eyes
Orange
Green, orange, yellow, green. Painting trains is easy.
I should make it my job, dude.
And shukadookadookdookdookdookdookdookdookdookdookdookdookdookdookdookdookdook.
There’s a weapon mission right here.
I’m going to get myself a new weapon to fight off Charlie. What’s up?
Paul asked me to design a new weapon to help you hunt.
Oh, a sneak!
Oh, that is sneak snag.
I made this rocket launcher.
Hell yeah.
He’s got a good voice.
He’s got that voice.
I’ve been wanting to see Warren’s empire crumble for a long time.
So building this puppy was a hell of an opportunity.
Hell yeah.
I was on Space Mountain with that man.
Yeah, dude.
Now that you’re here.
Jealous?
You’re like three inches behind.
Why don’t you bring that box of rocket ammunition back here from inside the bunker down the rail?
Okay.
Rocket ammunition?
Hmm.
I wonder what it could be for.
Let’s go find it.
Where the fuck was it?
Oh my god, that’s so far.
No.
I started doing…
It’s too far.
I mean, I guess I could go on foot.
Is that the worst thing?
No. I could think of worse things.
I could think of a lot of worse things.
Charlie doesn’t come away from the tracks, does he?
You get smothered in meatballs until you die.
That’d be way worse.
Right?
It’d be pretty bad.
They’re just coming at you like, pop, pop, pop, pop.
And you’re like, please no.
Like at first you’re like, what is this, meatballs?
And then you’re like, ah, it kind of stings.
And then when you open your mouth to scream,
and you’re like, five meatballs get shot in,
and you’re like…
And then your cheeks start inflating
like a squirrel gathering nuts for the winter.
Yeah, I don’t even want to talk about this anymore.
This is just bumming me out.
And then somebody like, jacks off to it because it’s hot.
You know what?
Things are looking up.
Just getting inflated with meatballs.
It’s definitely someone’s fetish.
Ooh, dynamite.
That’s not what I was looking for, though.
I was looking for rocket ammunition.
I just stopped looking up rule 34 stuff
because
the goal for me
was to find like, certainly not
this, you know?
Would have a rule 34 to it.
But it always did, and each time
it was like, more depressing than the last.
That’s the whole point of rule 34.
I know, but that was why it was a challenge, you know?
No, it’s out there.
Yeah.
There’s definitely got to be some kind of meatball fetish,
and I just don’t want to, oops.
I just don’t want to know.
I should walk away from explosions.
Oh, there’s absolutely a meatball fetish
out there, dude.
I don’t, I don’t know this for certain.
Why would I?
Cloudy with a chance of orgasm.
Cloudy with a chance of orgasm.
Cloudy with a chance of orgasm.
Cloudy with a chance of orgasm.
Cloudy with a chance of orgasm.
Alright, I got the rocket ammunition.
So I’m assuming
he’s going to give me a rocket launcher now, which is fucking sick.
And then you get spaghetti and feetballs,
which just combines all the fetishes.
Oh, god, it’s so hot.
I mean, it would be hot if you cooked it.
Yeah.
Spaghetti and feetballs.
I got to write that down real quick.
I love that.
I think we’ve said it before, but I do,
I do love it.
Ooh, I like the green train, because it’s so easy to spot now.
It’s really pretty.
It’s like choo-choo, motherfucker.
I wouldn’t mind a blue train, though, or a purple train.
Well, we’ll find some blue.
Let’s see if this fucker has some blue around.
You got any blue paint?
Give it. What about upstairs?
Give it.
Ooh, we got some scrap.
And a little thing.
I’m stuck debating if Warren made us bring our families
to this hellhole so that we’d never need to leave,
or to keep information about his business practices
away from the mainland.
Either way, I want that man in a noose.
Oh, jeez.
Paul asked me to desi- oh,
the not-sexy way.
Hey, Brett, are you leaving?
Brett!
Oh.
Let’s go.
Paul asked me to design a new weapon for the monster hunter
that Eugene is sending.
And knowing what I do about explosives,
you can bet I made the most powerful rocket launcher I could.
Warren, you don’t stand a chance.
Okay, so he’s
in a- he’s in a like a
like a dick-waving fight
with Warren?
Is that what- is that what-
is that what that was in the implication?
I don’t know.
This guy must have the most stretched out,
relaxed shoulders in the world.
Yeah.
Okay, thank you.
I have a few people to visit with it if you catch my drift.
I don’t understand. I don’t catch-
I’m more of a pitcher kind of guy.
Ooh, hello.
A little more scrap in my life.
A little more scrap for my wife.
Okay.
Mango number three!
I don’t know why I said that.
I’m sorry.
How many mangoes are there?
It didn’t make any sense, but my brain
was like, do it, do it.
Say it.
Say it. What’s the worst that’ll happen?
Say it. Someone
like, sent me a meme
once. I don’t remember exactly how it
went, but
um,
it was so relatable. It was like
me sitting in class
quietly, and then my brain
screams, screams, screams, screams.
Look at
this fucking guy.
Hello. Hi.
Uh, no. Um.
Never heard of you.
Yes.
Am I the ugliest human being in
the world? No. No one can even
bear to look at us. No.
You don’t know that. They could be delicious.
It could make the world’s best omelet.
Clickbait him?
No.
Clickbait him. Oh.
You think he’s gonna
be killing people when we’re jerking him off?
Catching the craziest
eggs, like craziest is in capital
letters.
It’s like a fucking Buzzfeed
article. These are the three
craziest eggs you’ve ever seen.
Uh, sorry.
What was that? What was his mission?
Oh my god, that’s so far away.
There’s definitely gonna be
some Charlieage. Ooh, an optional mission
all the way over here. Should I?
Well, let’s go check out what that optional mission
is, because it’s time for the
next time on Game Grumps. Oh, fuck.
Alright. So, checking
out the optional mission next time on Game Grumps?
I don’t know. Is that what you’re saying?
Well, I was just gonna say, like, let’s do one more
thing before we end this. Oh, I see. Okay, optional
mission. optional mission
scrap metal. I mean, I am kind of
curious. I do want to kill Charlie, but
feels like we’re a long way away from
that. It’s gonna take a while. I mean, I got, like, a
fourth of his health down, so.
Was it even close to that much?
Yeah. Really? Yeah.
I mean, maybe, like, a fifth.
Maybe a sixth. Maybe more like a
seventh. Maybe a twentieth. Could’ve been a twentieth. Could’ve been
an eighth or a ninth.
But, you know,
we’re close.
I feel like
there’s gonna be, like, a
snowball effect.
Like, ooh, I’m gonna get
stuff that has more weapons
and more powers. More weapons
that have more powers.
Can I? Am I allowed in? Hello?
Let me in. Ooh.
Say.
Click, check. Click, click.
Click. Hello?
Yep. Looks wet out there.
Thank you.
Oh. Oh. Alright.
I don’t know why that happened.
Ocean watch. Day 16.8.
Please deliver a copy to Paul.
We see what we want to say. Oh, it’s Claire.
I went outside and I was checking the lighthouse
as I walked around the corner of the building. I saw
that beast. Charles!
I missed you. He spotted me
and charged straight up the hill in my direction.
That spider trained as the hideous monster.
I can’t understand why Warren wants us
to stay on her ironium instead
of trying to escape the beast.
I suppose Warren has simply gone crazy
thinking he can handle this situation on his own.
Anyway, Charles ate him.
He ran right over me, trampling my leg.
Uh, won’t be able to attend this upcoming meeting
and I’ve asked Greg to bring back a copy of your
notes if possible. Claire.
Well done. I didn’t send it to anybody.
Hi, I’m Claire.
But I’ve heard lots about you
coming to help us. Yup.
I have a favor to ask.
The breakers on the side of the lighthouse
need replacing. Why can’t you do it?
It’s like our leg’s broken.
This is attacked by Charles.
So I’m unable to do it myself.
Oh, sure.
If Charles is even real.
If you go get them and repair the lighthouse,
I can try signaling passing ships to come help us.
Cool.
What if you signal a monster ship
that has spider legs?
Yeah.
It’s like the bat signal but a spider train
power line. Shit!
Fucking tons of spider ships
coming here.
Oops. My bad.
Uh, what was the deal?
Well,
the deal is
it’s time for next time on Game Grumps. Oh, fuck.
Yeah, yeah. Ah, tiddly winks.
I’m sorry, Arin.
Ah, fiddly winks. Are you having fun?
I mean, you know, I’m
intrigued at this point. Yeah, me too.
I want to know what the deal is.
With Charles in charge.
We can do one more of these.
You think? Sure, why not?
Tandy
Sandy, dude.
Can I get a hell yeah?
What?
You know what I mean.
Breaker, breaker.
One, nine.
Yeah.
Fuck yeah, dude. Hey, Claire.
Aren’t I fucking epic? She’s dead.
Isn’t that worth a
handy? You took so long.
How many?
How many?
Forty-four. God damn.
Well, if Charlie attacks, you’ll be able to get away, right? Bye.
Well, nice, like, thing will take it.
Uh, where’s the railroad tracks?
Oh, that’s right. It’s, like, way up the fucking hill.
Oh, look, it’s on now.
You were running up that hill.
I’m running up that
road.
Running up that
building.
That’d be kind of silly if you were running up a building.
Gotta find your train.
Make a deal
with Charles.
Get him to
smash up
Claire’s leg.
Alright, well, next time on Game Grumps.
Yeah, sorry. No, it’s fine.
I lost my mind there for a second.
Alright, well, see you next time. Just get safely
on the train, and then we’ll… Safely on the train.
Charles!
Bye!
Dan becomes terrified by train – Choo-Choo-Charles
I’ve got something in my pocket for you, Dan. I don’t like the sound of that. No, it’s good. It’s not here. Take it
What is it? It’s a coin. Oh, yeah, what a coin. It’s a Valentine’s coin
Can I use it to purchase a Valentine’s Day™ gift for myself at Game Grumps dot-com slash merch?
That would have been such a better thing for this thing to have done
What?
You wanna try that sentence again? It’s I just I I
I just thought it was a neat coin, but the fact that you could trade it in for it. That’s such a better idea
Yeah, it’s too late now
At least you can still get merchants game of second slash merge really not with the coin though
Also, I use your money to buy this coin
Hey, I’m Grump. I’m not so Grump. And we’re the Game Grumps
Hello, and welcome to Choo-Choo Charles. What? I don’t know what this is, Arin. Oh
Choo-Choo Charles. Yes. It’s a it’s a game about trains. Yeah, it looks oddly sinister. No
Okay, all right
It might be a horror game, but that’s fine. No, it’s not at all. It’s a sweet little train. Okay named Charles and we’re oh wait
We need volume
Okay
A train. Sorry. Man, he can talk without moving his lips. It’s like he’s all just thinking it right now. He’s just like yes
Wow, they just show you right off the bat, eh? Wow, yeah, I mean, yeah
Friendly looking. That’s Charlie. That’s Choo-Choo Charlie? Yeah. Oh, so we have to go to an island to fight a train spider? Sure. Okay
Okay. Oof. This is a little. Whoa. Yeah, half train half keg of spider from hell
Well, he thinks a lot. Yeah
Arin near him? That’s your island
Stay close Charles. It’s the it’s the island that I’m near. Well done. Arin near, um
Okay, well just name it that. Oh my god
Hello, sup sup sup sup sup. Whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop
Whoop whoop. All right
I’m slipping his punches, you know? Yeah. He’s like
He’s like whoop aha whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop. Oh. By the beast.
Do you think he left any sandwiches? Okay. I’m a little hungry now that we’re on this island and there ain’t no Mickey D’s
You’re gonna be an indispensable tool on our journey. You’re an indispensable tool. Stay close. We don’t want to be exposed for too long.
All right, take them off. Yeah, well, I mean, why is that funny? Drop them
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa
That guy can really book it. I didn’t expect
Duh duh duh duh, duh duh duh, duh duh duh. Where you going? Where you going? Ah my Achilles. Bro, where you going? Where you going? Slow down.
Also, I wanted to say, you just reminded me
We did the power hour where we went to the rage room mm-hmm
And we were bashing cups and saucers with bats and things like that. Right. And you were like, I don’t like this. It’s very violent
Um, I didn’t think of it in the moment, but later I was thinking
He’s been training to punch people in boxing for like two- Yeah, but it’s different. It’s like a sport
Yeah, but it’s a human. Yeah, but like, you know, it’s like a challenge where you’re trying to get in and get out
It’s not about the hitting. It’s about like the- Oh, I think boxing is at least partially about the hitting
Well, I mean like the-
Breaking stuff
Just to break it. That’s like a different thing because you’re not like there’s not a challenge there. But it’s just a cup. Letting it out
It’s just a cup. That’s an interesting- we look at that in two different ways
Okay
Is it- is he talking to us? I think so, yeah. Okay. All right
I don’t know why we’re- Can you at least look at us when you talk? Yeah, I don’t know why we’re like swinging around
I’m like this like, huh? I’m trying to look at your beard. It doesn’t look like you shaved correctly today. Yeah
Let’s see if we can get the bottom
Very patchy. Yeah, very patchy
I’m gonna go and check out the key
Whoa, that’s the shack that’s got the key in it
Made me a first mission
Oh, my butthole is clenched tight. Think about when that key’s gonna get here
I hope a train doesn’t run into it
Oops, there’s a train
Alright
The key
Oh, I can feel it in my sphincter. He got the key. Mission complete. Cool
View items you’re collected by pressing whatever
Good on you. Looks like you found it
I found a key
Open up that door and lead the way
Which door? Open the door
Nice dude. Oh, this is a friendly train. Yeah, it’s a nice train. Okay, or maybe it’s like transforms or something
Hey, that’s what I’m talking about
Oh, yeah
She’s an oldie but a goodie
Ooh
It’s the train that turns into a tree and turns into a transformer
It’s Bumble Tree
Bumble Tree?
Kind of losing it over here. Okay
Inside, see what we got to work with
Okay
We’re still talking about the train, right? Yeah
Why don’t you take a peek inside?
Ooh
Train health a hundred percent. Speed level
I don’t know how many scraps so I can’t
Oh, so you’re gonna be driving around in a train
I guess so. Fighting this other train?
I don’t know
On an island?
Whoa
This, yeah
That’s awfully a lot what it looks like
Whoa
Dude
Yo, where’s that guy at?
Eugene!
Hey, look over here
Sorry
Got your nose
Got your nose?
Wow, it glows red after you shoot for a while
All guns have infinite ammo
Oh, yeah, because it overheats
Yeah, stop shooting and look
It’ll overheat
Oh
New guns can be earned in missions, okay
Okay, cool
Alrighty-tighty
Whoa, god, uh
But inside it’s all pink
Uh, my eyes are down here
Sorry, just looking at that forehead pimple you got
Is that a toupee?
What kind of hat is that?
This thing
This thing
You can’t wear that get-up-to-spooky-farm
Alright, let’s go
Um, um, um, um
Okay
We’re coming for you, Charles
I thought this one was Charles
It says Charles on the side
Uh, Arin?
No!
Oh, my god
Oh, no
Our tutorial friend
It’s gonna overheat
Oh, god
Oh, well, that’s just great
Well, he’s dead
I think he might have survived it
You think so?
I got a couple rocks
Great job, Arin
Thanks
I think he’s supposed to die
Eugene?
Buddy?
Oh, my god, Eugene!
One of your legs is weird, but I’m not gonna say which
Oh, sorry, I thought you were done
I’m sorry
Why not?
Uh-huh
I’m sorry, what?
Find the sperm
Were those two related, or?
Were those two related?
Eugene?
Alright, let’s go
Don’t put it in reverse
Why not?
Oh, sorry, Eugene
Am I, like, looking out for Charles?
We’ll be back with help!
So I just have to, like, keep a lookout for Charles?
I guess so
Charlie?
Yeah, not really much off-road exploring you can do when you’re on train tracks
Yeah, I guess I just kind of have to do my own thing
Oh, wait, there’s a map, though
Oh, it’s, like, still going, eh?
Does it show where Charlie is?
No
Unmet NPC optional mission
This is a required mission, okay, so I just gotta keep going straight
Yeah
Hey, Dan, if there was a train car and it was going really fast
And, um, on the track that it was going on
It was gonna kill three people
But you had the opportunity to switch the tracks
Um, oh, no, I don’t wanna do this, uh, stop
Ah, shit, I don’t wanna go that way
Um, you had the opportunity to switch
Fuck, I just missed the goddamn
Yeah, you missed your one possible turn
Well, I mean, I missed the tutorial on how to switch the train tracks
Okay, stop
Okay, stop
Do I have to do it manually?
Like, you have to hop out
Yeah, I can’t imagine you could do it on a train
I would assume so
Yep, there it is
Alright
Okay, so if there was a train, right, and there was a fork in the tracks, right, but
The one that was automatically going down was gonna kill three people
Uh-huh
Um, but you had the option to switch the tracks
So that it would only kill one person on the other track
Uh-huh
What would you do?
I’d probably kill the one person
But then you actively killed that person
Yeah, I think it’s one of those situations where inaction is the same as action
You know what I mean?
Yeah, fair enough
I mean, it’s a drag of a question either way, thanks for bringing it up
Yeah, no problem, it’s called the trolley problem
The trolley paradox
The paradox?
Uh
You can’t save if you’re killing
Oh
Hi
Hello
Good day
Oh
Friendly
Dean told us we’d have a newcomer soon
I suppose that would be you
Heaven has a newcomer too
Eugene
No, I think the newcomer’s the spider train
Oh, here he is now
That you could use to repair and upgrade your train
Oh, that’s fun
Here’s the key
And although the balcony is right behind me
I’ll just mark it on your map anyway
Does everyone, is everyone telepathic here?
Yeah
They’ll do whatever they can to help
Anyone not wearing a map
Charlie can see your lips move
We all have to talk like this
Check out the balcony and take whatever you can use
Okay
Good luck with everything
Thank you
My grandma used to call it shining
Open
What the hell, you said I could go in there
Candace said I could come in, hello?
Cand- Candace?
Candace is totally alive and said I could come in
Please don’t call for her
I super didn’t eat Candace
Hello?
Hello
Mmm, waffles
Scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap, scrap
Ooh, a map
We’ve been waiting as patiently as we can
But the past few days have been chaotic, to say the least
Charles has been more aggressive lately
To the point where I’m starting to fear how many of us will be left by the time help arrives
Godspeed Eugene, we’re counting on you
Hopefully you’re not dead when you’re reading this
Mission completed
Now you have some resources
Okay, thank you
Time to upgrade my fucking train, baby
Time to upgrade my fucking train, baby
It’s an interesting game
Boo!
Haha
Hilarious
Alright, let’s upgrade my train
I can upgrade the speed level
Weapon damage, oh
Mmm, sure
I feel like I should do that first
3 to 5
You only have 3 scraps
Oh, level 3, 5 scraps, got it
Um, okay
Yeah, why not
Cool
There you go
I am level 1 upgraded
Let’s get the fuck out of here, bruh
Check
Charles?
Charlie?
Charlie? Charles? Charles the choo choo?
If it wasn’t raining, this would be a much different game
Like if it was just a bright, beautiful day on the island
Yeah
Howdy there, pardner!
Hey
There’s a spider train sunbathing around yonder
Is this a place?
Wanna take a look at the map?
Yeah, let’s see if there’s anyone coming up
Oh
Oh yeah
We got an optional mission, bruh
Hello
Hello
Oh hey, what’s up?
Good day, sir
Lemme in
Hello
Now
Kiss my head, dick
Okay, well
What the hell’s going on with his deltoids?
Yeah, I don’t know
Okay
Okay
Thanks
Might let you run your fingers over my chest
Just for a bit, though
I’ll only get a little horny
I’ll let you go all the way if you open up that chest
But not too fast
There’s a spider train around
You don’t wanna be caught in the act when the spider train’s coming around
Uh, so you wanted me to open a chest
Boop
And this is this one, okay, so it’s over here
Okay
Pick the lock on the chest in Daryl’s junkyard, so there’s a train over there, got it
It’s like over here
Doop-a-doop-a-doop
Scooby-dooby-doop
Is this it?
Ah, oop, hello
Chest
Chest
Chest
Got it
Oh
Got it, got it
Oh
Oh
Yep
Got it
Fuck
Mini games are fun
You’d think I’d be better at this because of Dead by Daylight
I don’t know that game
We’ve played it on Grumps like three times
Really?
Yeah
What am I thinking of?
Well
I don’t know what you’re thinking of, apparently you’re thinking of nothing
Yeah
I was thinking of uh
It’s the one where you
Oh, Red Dead Redemption
That’s what I was thinking
It’s the one where you play as a killer
Yes
For survivors
Okay, yes, sorry
I was getting confused with the cowboy game
It’s a lot of dead, dead games
Fuck
I’ll just let you do this
I think it’s because I’m anticipating like there’s some lag
But there’s no lag
Cool
There you go
Turn to Daryl to complete your mission
Oh, looks like you opened that chest over there
Mmm
What are you doing later?
No!
Alright
Well, fancy fingers here got the chest unlocked
That’s an odd looking piece of junk you found inside there
That I’ve let down to be frank
Well, maybe I’ll let you give me an H.J.
How many?
How many?
HOW MANY?!
Alright, train time
Let’s upgrade this fucking train
Is this just the loop right here?
Is this it?
You just get scraps
Whoa, that’s a lot of scraps
Damn, son
Let me like get the train a little
My god, you’re gonna have like a super jacked up train
Never mind, you’re out of scraps
Well, I jacked it up pretty good
Yeah
Damage level 4, armor level 4
I’m feeling pretty good about that
Good work
Where’s Charlie?
Charlie!
Alright
Take me to your chocolate factory
I’ve got the golden ticket
Oh, is this it already?
Am I here?
Oh yeah, how about that?
Stop, stop it
Try not to fast
Like break your ankles getting out of the train
Do you mind if I steal your scrap?
What’s up?
Monster Hunter has arrived I see
He’s way up there
I’m sorry, is there something flying above me?
It’s like waving your hand up in the air
Hello
There may be a way to get Charles to commit to a mortal battle, however
Dispersed around the island are three eggs
Locked in the island’s three primary mines
There are three trolls guarding each egg
Our theory is that putting these eggs in the temple at the center of the island will provoke Charles into a fight to the death
Oh, that seems obvious
Unfortunately, the mining company owner, Warren Charles III, has placed armed guards inside each mine to protect the eggs
Okay
There’s an egg in the mine just down the rail
Oh
Here’s the key to the mine
I’ve marked the entrance on your map
Thank you
Thank you
Thanks
Thank you
Little help?
Okay, I’ll see you later
See you later
That was awkward
Should we check out that red person?
Uh, that’s a weapon mission, bro
But sure
I mean, why the fuck not?
I mean, yeah, I think we should at least chat with the folks
Wee!
Why wouldn’t we want to get to know the lovely people of this neighborhood?
Hmm, seems welcoming
Feels like the place where they sacrificed virgins to Donkey Kong
I mean, King Kong
Donkey Kong?
He’s got the barrel!
More bananas, please
And virgins
Because his back is to the fire
Oh
Ah, shoot dang
I usually say that when my house burns down
Impressive that I managed to burn down my house in the pouring rain, don’t you think?
I’m sorry, wait, so
Wait
So you need the flamethrower while the fire’s raging
But once it’s out, then you don’t need it anymore?
That’s right
But you don’t want the house to be on fire
His head looks like a well-cooked hot dog
Like the top of it
It’s so dead, like it’s gonna split
I’d assume you’re the monster hunter that folks have been expecting
So a weapon like this could come in handy
Sure could
I would love it if you gave it to me
Yeah
Let’s keep going
Okay
Bug spray, please
Find a way to extinguish the fire
Okay
Sure
Ow, ow, ow, sorry
Find a way to extinguish the fire
It’s falling from the sky
Wait
Ten minutes
Yeah
I found a way
Um
It’s out
God did it
Uh, I guess I gotta go up there
Get myself some kind of tea
That guy had a nice long conversation
For someone whose house is burning to the ground
Well, looks like all my possessions
My dog and my wife are in there
I’ll give you the flamethrower if you put out the fire
Wanna go to Kmart?
I sure feel free now that I have less possessions
And probably no wife
Probably
Using the water tank to put out the fire
Pure genius
I mean, really not
It was raining
Here, take old bug spray
Cause of this chaos
Okay
It’s the flamethrower he named it
Oh, got it
I thought bug spray was like the name of some chemical that made the train come alive and be a spider
That was very presumptuous of you
Well, I zoned out for a second when he said it was the flamethrower’s name
So I had to make my own rules
Yeah
Oh, I thought bug spray was the name of this guy with blonde hair and blue eyes who was standing around a mine shaft
Bug spray, what’s up, man?
Yeah, no, nobody said that
Alright, woah
Oh, it’s bug spray
Great
Oh, I guess you can put either one on the back of your train
Oh
Woah, dude
Well done
That’s fucking cool
Alright, epic
It overheats pretty fast, but
That’s fine
I guess it is shooting flames
Is Charles gonna show up on the map if I’m looking at the map?
I don’t know
You asked that before, but I still don’t know the answer
Chugga chugga choo choo, Charles
Where is he?
Yeah, we haven’t seen much of him
But I guess when there’s only one enemy, they can’t overdo it
I’m getting a little T.O.’d, honestly
I’m getting a little looks around
T.O.’d
Woah, it’s been a while since you’ve robbed before
Thanks
Yeah, that brings me back
Yeah
Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me
Open up
Egg
Would anybody like an egg in this trying time?
What? Who says that?
Frank in It’s Always Sunny
Really? That’s awesome
Urgent letter to Mr. Warren
While mining the farthest tunnel
That’s Eugene
He’s kinda like a normal voice, didn’t he?
He was like
I need to add more of these moments, I think
Warren mining the farthest tunnel
How long has it been since we’ve seen him?
It was like 10 minutes
I don’t remember what he sounds like
There’s something strange here and we don’t know what it is
We’re requesting Mr. Warren visit the southern mine site at his earliest convenience to give us further instruction
You got it, Senator
Where do I go?
Why do I have to do stealth?
The enemies?
What the fuck?
Oh dear
Perhaps the train is not your only enemy
Who, who?
Perhaps the real enemy is within
Is within
You must hunt the most dangerous game
Man
Man
The most dangerous game man
The most dangerous game man
No, game man
Alright, well, enunciation’s important because those are two very different things
You must hunt the most dangerous game man
He said it again
No, game man
Alright
Game comma man
You must hunt the most dangerous game man
We’ve got a real who’s on first situation here
Oh, there’s a whistler
We got a whistler on our hands
Is he an enemy?
I think so
Egg
Is he gonna come back this way or is he going in a circle?
Maybe he’s just whistling while he works
Oh no, it looks like he has a weapon
He definitely has some kind of gun
See ya
Do you have some kind of gun?
I do not
Neat
I have a flamethrower that I could probably use outside of the train
Where’s my egg?
I just hear it from the back of the mine
You just hear, oh shit
Bus is gonna kill me
There’s always time to steal more
Well done
Cool, green paint
Oh, now you can customize your train
Awesome, that’s so useful
It is useful, I love it
I’m sure you love it
Have you ever tried to paint a train in the rain?
Dude, I’ve never tried to rain paint rain
I do it mainly on the plane
I do want to paint my train now
I think I found another color as well
Wow, yeah, you have many choices
Hey
Green train
Sleek
Nice
Earthy
You know what, I didn’t think I would think that was as cool as I do, but
Here we are
Your train looks awesome
This feels like Charlie’s gonna come out
Getting an egg is like a
That’s like a significant point in the game, right?
Did you
Oh yeah
Collecting the eggs is like the main deal
Yeah
And you have to find that guy’s son
What’s going on? Am I stopping?
What do you mean?
I just made noises
Oh, this is a long stretch
Hey, your little train is green
This has got to be a Charlie stretch
Come on
I think I’m all excited for him to show up now
Show yourself
Charles
Who’s in charge?
Charles in charge of our days and our nights
Oh god
Oh Charles
Love
Come on Charles, what the fuck
Ooh
Precarious
Charles
I don’t even know where I’m headed now
Oh here I guess
That’s a required
I met NPCs
And there’s one along the way too
Just on your right
Oh
Oh stop, don’t, don’t turn
Fuck
You fucked up
I’m sorry
No, it’s okay
Dan, no
Please
Alright, let’s go
Da da da da da da da
Da da da da da da da da da da da da da
Da da da da da da da da da da
What is this?
Nothing I give a dang about
I got to go to the next required mission
If I won’t get laid, I mean get this egg
Wow, everyone’s really got their own agenda today
Aw shit, I went the wrong way again
Come on
It’s just
You’ve not made one
single correct turn
Well they’re all set to the wrong direction
Well you’re looking at a map
Well you know what, I’m not going to give you sauce
We’re trying to accomplish the same thing here
What do you think I am, Zane?
Or Harry Styles?
Billy Zane?
Cause they’re one direction
Oh god Charles
Oh fuck
You better get moving
What? Oh yeah you’re right
I should probably move
Okay
No not forward
Oh god
Charles
You’re getting burned
Oh god headshot
Oh my god look at how much life he has
He’s like Jason
That’s okay
This fucking flamethrowers
It’s doing well
Take it take it take it take it
He hates it
This is gross
It’s really unsettling
Yeah he hates the shit out of this
Yeah
Good job Arin
I’m gonna miss him
We sure had some good times
Sweet little eyes
You have kind eyes
Orange
Green, orange, yellow, green. Painting trains is easy.
I should make it my job, dude.
And shukadookadookdookdookdookdookdookdookdookdookdookdookdookdookdookdookdook.
There’s a weapon mission right here.
I’m going to get myself a new weapon to fight off Charlie. What’s up?
Paul asked me to design a new weapon to help you hunt.
Oh, a sneak!
Oh, that is sneak snag.
I made this rocket launcher.
Hell yeah.
He’s got a good voice.
He’s got that voice.
I’ve been wanting to see Warren’s empire crumble for a long time.
So building this puppy was a hell of an opportunity.
Hell yeah.
I was on Space Mountain with that man.
Yeah, dude.
Now that you’re here.
Jealous?
You’re like three inches behind.
Why don’t you bring that box of rocket ammunition back here from inside the bunker down the rail?
Okay.
Rocket ammunition?
Hmm.
I wonder what it could be for.
Let’s go find it.
Where the fuck was it?
Oh my god, that’s so far.
No.
I started doing…
It’s too far.
I mean, I guess I could go on foot.
Is that the worst thing?
No. I could think of worse things.
I could think of a lot of worse things.
Charlie doesn’t come away from the tracks, does he?
You get smothered in meatballs until you die.
That’d be way worse.
Right?
It’d be pretty bad.
They’re just coming at you like, pop, pop, pop, pop.
And you’re like, please no.
Like at first you’re like, what is this, meatballs?
And then you’re like, ah, it kind of stings.
And then when you open your mouth to scream,
and you’re like, five meatballs get shot in,
and you’re like…
And then your cheeks start inflating
like a squirrel gathering nuts for the winter.
Yeah, I don’t even want to talk about this anymore.
This is just bumming me out.
And then somebody like, jacks off to it because it’s hot.
You know what?
Things are looking up.
Just getting inflated with meatballs.
It’s definitely someone’s fetish.
Ooh, dynamite.
That’s not what I was looking for, though.
I was looking for rocket ammunition.
I just stopped looking up rule 34 stuff
because
the goal for me
was to find like, certainly not
this, you know?
Would have a rule 34 to it.
But it always did, and each time
it was like, more depressing than the last.
That’s the whole point of rule 34.
I know, but that was why it was a challenge, you know?
No, it’s out there.
Yeah.
There’s definitely got to be some kind of meatball fetish,
and I just don’t want to, oops.
I just don’t want to know.
I should walk away from explosions.
Oh, there’s absolutely a meatball fetish
out there, dude.
I don’t, I don’t know this for certain.
Why would I?
Cloudy with a chance of orgasm.
Cloudy with a chance of orgasm.
Cloudy with a chance of orgasm.
Cloudy with a chance of orgasm.
Cloudy with a chance of orgasm.
Alright, I got the rocket ammunition.
So I’m assuming
he’s going to give me a rocket launcher now, which is fucking sick.
And then you get spaghetti and feetballs,
which just combines all the fetishes.
Oh, god, it’s so hot.
I mean, it would be hot if you cooked it.
Yeah.
Spaghetti and feetballs.
I got to write that down real quick.
I love that.
I think we’ve said it before, but I do,
I do love it.
Ooh, I like the green train, because it’s so easy to spot now.
It’s really pretty.
It’s like choo-choo, motherfucker.
I wouldn’t mind a blue train, though, or a purple train.
Well, we’ll find some blue.
Let’s see if this fucker has some blue around.
You got any blue paint?
Give it. What about upstairs?
Give it.
Ooh, we got some scrap.
And a little thing.
I’m stuck debating if Warren made us bring our families
to this hellhole so that we’d never need to leave,
or to keep information about his business practices
away from the mainland.
Either way, I want that man in a noose.
Oh, jeez.
Paul asked me to desi- oh,
the not-sexy way.
Hey, Brett, are you leaving?
Brett!
Oh.
Let’s go.
Paul asked me to design a new weapon for the monster hunter
that Eugene is sending.
And knowing what I do about explosives,
you can bet I made the most powerful rocket launcher I could.
Warren, you don’t stand a chance.
Okay, so he’s
in a- he’s in a like a
like a dick-waving fight
with Warren?
Is that what- is that what-
is that what that was in the implication?
I don’t know.
This guy must have the most stretched out,
relaxed shoulders in the world.
Yeah.
Okay, thank you.
I have a few people to visit with it if you catch my drift.
I don’t understand. I don’t catch-
I’m more of a pitcher kind of guy.
Ooh, hello.
A little more scrap in my life.
A little more scrap for my wife.
Okay.
Mango number three!
I don’t know why I said that.
I’m sorry.
How many mangoes are there?
It didn’t make any sense, but my brain
was like, do it, do it.
Say it.
Say it. What’s the worst that’ll happen?
Say it. Someone
like, sent me a meme
once. I don’t remember exactly how it
went, but
um,
it was so relatable. It was like
me sitting in class
quietly, and then my brain
screams, screams, screams, screams.
Look at
this fucking guy.
Hello. Hi.
Uh, no. Um.
Never heard of you.
Yes.
Am I the ugliest human being in
the world? No. No one can even
bear to look at us. No.
You don’t know that. They could be delicious.
It could make the world’s best omelet.
Clickbait him?
No.
Clickbait him. Oh.
You think he’s gonna
be killing people when we’re jerking him off?
Catching the craziest
eggs, like craziest is in capital
letters.
It’s like a fucking Buzzfeed
article. These are the three
craziest eggs you’ve ever seen.
Uh, sorry.
What was that? What was his mission?
Oh my god, that’s so far away.
There’s definitely gonna be
some Charlieage. Ooh, an optional mission
all the way over here. Should I?
Well, let’s go check out what that optional mission
is, because it’s time for the
next time on Game Grumps. Oh, fuck.
Alright. So, checking
out the optional mission next time on Game Grumps?
I don’t know. Is that what you’re saying?
Well, I was just gonna say, like, let’s do one more
thing before we end this. Oh, I see. Okay, optional
mission. optional mission
scrap metal. I mean, I am kind of
curious. I do want to kill Charlie, but
feels like we’re a long way away from
that. It’s gonna take a while. I mean, I got, like, a
fourth of his health down, so.
Was it even close to that much?
Yeah. Really? Yeah.
I mean, maybe, like, a fifth.
Maybe a sixth. Maybe more like a
seventh. Maybe a twentieth. Could’ve been a twentieth. Could’ve been
an eighth or a ninth.
But, you know,
we’re close.
I feel like
there’s gonna be, like, a
snowball effect.
Like, ooh, I’m gonna get
stuff that has more weapons
and more powers. More weapons
that have more powers.
Can I? Am I allowed in? Hello?
Let me in. Ooh.
Say.
Click, check. Click, click.
Click. Hello?
Yep. Looks wet out there.
Thank you.
Oh. Oh. Alright.
I don’t know why that happened.
Ocean watch. Day 16.8.
Please deliver a copy to Paul.
We see what we want to say. Oh, it’s Claire.
I went outside and I was checking the lighthouse
as I walked around the corner of the building. I saw
that beast. Charles!
I missed you. He spotted me
and charged straight up the hill in my direction.
That spider trained as the hideous monster.
I can’t understand why Warren wants us
to stay on her ironium instead
of trying to escape the beast.
I suppose Warren has simply gone crazy
thinking he can handle this situation on his own.
Anyway, Charles ate him.
He ran right over me, trampling my leg.
Uh, won’t be able to attend this upcoming meeting
and I’ve asked Greg to bring back a copy of your
notes if possible. Claire.
Well done. I didn’t send it to anybody.
Hi, I’m Claire.
But I’ve heard lots about you
coming to help us. Yup.
I have a favor to ask.
The breakers on the side of the lighthouse
need replacing. Why can’t you do it?
It’s like our leg’s broken.
This is attacked by Charles.
So I’m unable to do it myself.
Oh, sure.
If Charles is even real.
If you go get them and repair the lighthouse,
I can try signaling passing ships to come help us.
Cool.
What if you signal a monster ship
that has spider legs?
Yeah.
It’s like the bat signal but a spider train
power line. Shit!
Fucking tons of spider ships
coming here.
Oops. My bad.
Uh, what was the deal?
Well,
the deal is
it’s time for next time on Game Grumps. Oh, fuck.
Yeah, yeah. Ah, tiddly winks.
I’m sorry, Arin.
Ah, fiddly winks. Are you having fun?
I mean, you know, I’m
intrigued at this point. Yeah, me too.
I want to know what the deal is.
With Charles in charge.
We can do one more of these.
You think? Sure, why not?
Tandy
Sandy, dude.
Can I get a hell yeah?
What?
You know what I mean.
Breaker, breaker.
One, nine.
Yeah.
Fuck yeah, dude. Hey, Claire.
Aren’t I fucking epic? She’s dead.
Isn’t that worth a
handy? You took so long.
How many?
How many?
Forty-four. God damn.
Well, if Charlie attacks, you’ll be able to get away, right? Bye.
Well, nice, like, thing will take it.
Uh, where’s the railroad tracks?
Oh, that’s right. It’s, like, way up the fucking hill.
Oh, look, it’s on now.
You were running up that hill.
I’m running up that
road.
Running up that
building.
That’d be kind of silly if you were running up a building.
Gotta find your train.
Make a deal
with Charles.
Get him to
smash up
Claire’s leg.
Alright, well, next time on Game Grumps.
Yeah, sorry. No, it’s fine.
I lost my mind there for a second.
Alright, well, see you next time. Just get safely
on the train, and then we’ll… Safely on the train.
Charles!
Bye!
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