Match The Crew To Their Most Recent Amazon Purchase

24.01.2023 0 By admin

Welcome to “Good Mythical More”!

Oh, man, we are really getting an insight

into some crew members-

What is that?

By looking at their…

Toilet brush.

Is that what that was?

I kind of thought this
might be what it is.

These are crew members
most recent purchases,

we’re gonna bring ’em in
and we’re gonna match it up

and of course, ridicule
them in the process.

Yeah, it’s gonna be so
much fun. But first,

we’re going to donate $1,000
to the National Alliance

to end homelessness to aid
in their mission to prevent

and end homelessness in the United States.

They work collaboratively
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and families make positive
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Please join us in giving
at endhomelessness.org.

Thank you for being your mythical best.

Come on in here, guys.

Let’s bring in some
mythical crew purchasers

and see if we can match this stuff up.

What’s new y’all?

Let’s see.

Start, get right up there, next to Rhett.

Just cozy, cozy, cozy, cozy, cozy.

And then, then we can
smoosh on up in here.

Yeah, Jasmine, just smoosh on in KG.

All right, there we go. We in a good spot?

Yep? Yep? Nope? Yep? Yep?

Okay.

Seems like Rhett’s taking up a little bit

too much real estate, but-

I’m a big man!

That’s okay.

What can I do? What can
I say? I’m a big man.

All right.

Now are you guys impulse purchasers?

Yes.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

And these are, are these
all Amazon purchases?

Do we know?

Are they all Amazon purchases?

I think so.

I think that was the requirements.

That was the prompt.

Yeah.
Okay.

I am just such an Instagram purchaser now.

That’s the only reason I go on Instagram.

Sounds expensive.

Yeah, that sounds very expensive.

Is there an Instagram that’s just ads?

Like, honestly, that’s what I want.

I agree.
There’s a shopping tab.

Oh yeah, there is a shopping tab.

Oh, yeah!? What? Are you serious?

So you just, what do you do?

You, where’s the shopping tab?

You don’t wanna-
It’s like market place.

You don’t wanna open
that up. You don’t wanna-

Yeah, yeah, that’s Pandora’s box bro.

I kinda wanna know what
they’re recommending

to you though.
Yeah, me too.

So if I click on that I have to open-

Where’s the shopping tab?

The bag.

The bag!

That makes all kinds of sense.

One of the five things at the bottom.

Don’t…

And are these, so there’s a,

the first thing it’s trying to sell me

is a hat that says, “Less
nagging, more gagging”.

Like, that doesn’t seem cool.

Well, that’s like-
To you.

That’s based on your
searches and stuff, so.

Well, let’s get started.

Now can I just, first of
all, can I point out that-

I don’t like any of this.

You have a lot of hats.

Hats.

A milf hat.

“Recovering slut”, what?

Yeah dude.

What kind of-

It knows you very, very well.

Jasmine, this is not…

What, what is this?

You know what Link,

I might suggest you stop now.

You should show that, that ones-

‘Cause that’s a-

This is notorious B-I-G dress up?

This is-

That one seems curated.
Yeah.

It’s all curated

to your own personal explorations.

Yeah.

So-

You slut.

Recovery.
In recovery, yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I’m
sorry. He’s in recovery.

I mean, there’s literally
a milf hat, what is this?

What you’ve been looking at on Instagram,

you’ve been looking at-

I mean, again, I want
everyone watching to note

that I did suggest that Link stops.

Hey, listen, let’s finish this up

so Link can get back to
looking at slutty milfs.

Oh, look, here’s a “James
and the Shame” sweatshirt.

Oh, hey!

“I can’t help but give a damn”.

Speaking of mils…

$55, come on Rhett.

Yeah, yeah.

Hey, it’s got graphics on
the front and the back.

It does though.
Yeah.

Are you also selling a hat that says,

“Going nowhere fast”?

No, maybe I should be.

Well, you should. Yeah.

Yeah.
Okay. All right. Carry on.

I’ll add that to the
recovering slut section.

Okay. I can’t help but notice, ladies,

that there are two items here
that are for the bathroom,

Link, this is my, you
might wanna start playing-

I’m here, I’m here for this.

We’ve got, “Toilet Tag,
play while you potty”,

and we have, which we
discovered, there in that,

that is indeed a very fancy toilet brush

that looks like a big old cherry.

Wow. Look at that. That is cool.

And then if it’s, depending
on what you’re cleaning-

I mean, that is a cherry right?

Up in the toilet.

I mean, apples don’t grow on on like,

grow from very large vines like that.

Okay.

Okay. Let’s see.

Now-
Two toilet things.

I know a thing or two about Jasmine,

she’s got a little sense
of humor about things

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and she’s got a little bit
of a bathroom sense of humor,

let me to explain,

because as a member of our
people and culture team,

she will put things near the
toilets to educate all of us.

Oh.
I do that.

And, and, and so I think that
maybe she lives in a world

where she’s like people read things

while they’re taking dookies.

Read something. What’s the flavor-

“Toilet Tag, play while you potty”.

Well, somebody’s been playing.

Well, I just opened to a random page

and somebody has already played.

Okay.

Oh, it requires a pencil?

So it’s, “Are you a dog
or a cat person and why?”

Someone wrote, “Dogs for
sure if it’s only small cats.

If lions and whatnot are included, cats.”

And then somebody else can play

because that’s, I think
that’s the whole idea,

it’s just like-
Oh!

Oh, somebody did this-

The next person who poops
gets to use the same utensils.

And now this is, first of all,
this is different writing,

so this is somebody’s house
where there’s roommates

that are playing toilet
tag with each other.

This person says, “Cats. They’re fast

and fit in small spaces. Perfect hiders.”

Okay, let’s-

You think this is roommates
not a couple situation?

This one has wordy derds on it.

“What was the highlight

of your four year high school career?”

“Winning class VP. It was a big f u

to the other girl I was running against.

She was more popular,
but was not very nice.”

This has been in the bathroom.

People have been like, I mean,
I just really realized that.

Like, where’s the pen?
Hold on, is this ink?

You just, the other one says,
“Graduating f high school,

s was wack!” Y’all, this
is a dirty little house.

This a dirty little house y’all come from.

I don’t, I don’t know who y’all live with.

I just think that-
You don’t talk about that.

I think the Jasmine guess, I mean

we got two writers here
with Brittany and Meghan,

so I think that, you know, they might-

Writers gotta write.

The writer’s gotta write.
While on the toilet.

All the time. But I just think that,

I mean, based on, you know, the fact

that she’s like putting
things on the wall.

Yeah. Toilet stuff. Toilet stuff.

Okay. Thank you.

Thank you Ben.

There he goes.

Who knows where that thing’s been.

I like how you touched a plunger,

but this was your, like this one.

What does that hat say?

The hat says milf perhaps?

“Vital Farms Birdwatchers Club.”

Birdwatcher club?

There’s a story-

This is cool. I think
this might be ironic.

“This is my last online order
and I am super proud of it.”

This person went over and
above for the assignment.

I was seeing if it smelled like you.

“I did not purchase it
but rather I earned it

through egg consumption,
by saving 10 Vital Farms

brand egg cartons and filling
out a pasture passport

with the farm info on
the side of each carton

and sending it into the company.

This has officially inducted me

into the “Vital Farms Birdwatchers Club”

and now they’re sending
me this hat for free.”

This is somebody who’s really into eggs.

I mean, I don’t know, Meghan
I think that maybe you could,

you could be into the eggs.

Oh, well, she put it right on.

Put it right on and it fits.

10, listen, 10 cartons of eggs,
that’s 120 eggs. 120 Eggs.

It’s a voracious egg appetite.

We can switch ’em around.

Eggs are good for you.

“A special gift for the charming you.”

What is this?

This is, is this a over the ear-

It’s a over the ear.
Elvish…

Elvis?

Elvish ear ornamentation.

When, oh, excuse me. When we went to-

Okay, you’re, Jasmine’s ears are exposed.

When we went to that “Lord
of the Rings” premiere-

People had these on. Yep.

Lots of people were wearing these.

Like it’s a elvish accoutrement.
Borderline cosplay.

I mean, who would be
willing to put these on?

It seems like you-
I would.

Guys are begging for it.
I would.

Oh, you, oh, you gonna do it all right?

All right, here, do that one too.

Don’t break it now!

Did it go on my ear? What am I missing?

Help him out over there.

I got one arm and you look so close.

Does this go on the front?

This, it seems like this
is shaped like the ear.

So it would go like…

Yeah, that’s right.

Okay. I’ve almost got it. I got it.

No, that’s upside down.

No. Rotate it.

No, no, no, no, no.

You did it upside down.

Oh.

And then yours is not working.

It’s not staying on?

You have so much hair, you’re
never gonna get that out.

No, Brittany got it.
Okay, and now I got it now?

You have to put it in the little-

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Yeah, that seems right.

No, no, that’s not right.

That one’s right.

That one’s right. The other one.

Pull your hair back. There you go.

Wow.

Beautiful.
Okay, maybe I bought these.

Who knows.

So I think this is a person
who either wants to be an elf

or likes “Lord of the Rings”.

Hmm.

We still got that toilet
cherry over there, we gotta-

So KG doesn’t do anything with her ears.

I mean, you’re pierced,
but you’re not even,

you don’t have anything in there.

I usually have hoops just not today.

Okay. Not today.

Yeah, you wouldn’t want
to get a hoop caught

in this thing.

Yeah. Right, right, right.

And you know what, and Brittany, like-

Brittany was acting like she didn’t know

how to put it on you.

You seemed pretty sincere.

Really?

I think we should switch.

Give these to Meghan?

Meghan and Brittany.

Okay.

I think it’s broken now.

Yeah, I think-

He broke it.

Brittany, you broke ’em.

No, they’re malleable.

Yeah, like it, yeah look it bends.

They’re malleable, they fit in any ears.

Yeah, Meghan, I can feel that.

All right, do I need to-

You’ve got the cat eyes today.

Do I need to sanitize my ears now?

Elvish eyes.

Yeah, cats and elves.

And then I’m touching this,

which means I need some of that too.

But this is-

That’s quite a thing.

I mean, think about it.
You gotta put a toilet,

first of all, kudos to whoever bought this

for having one of these
next to the toilet.

Not everybody makes that choice,
but I- Oh, Link it’s wet!

Oh, it is wet!

It’s wet!

Oh my God.

Put it back in the cherry man!

Oh my God.

Oh the drippings.

It’s been used.

It’s on the table!

It’s been used, bro.

I don’t know if I wanna hold that.

After all this stuff you’ve had to-

You got it. You can-

To clean up off of this table.

You already have it in your hand.

I’d rather not to keep it
there though. This is yours.

I’m gonna put it right
here in front of KG.

Oh, I don’t know, man.

I feel, I’m having second thoughts here.

I’m almost feeling like that toilet cherry

might be a Jasmine thing
and then this might go to…

I don’t know.

Could go to KG. KG got roommates.

Do you have a roommate?

I do have a roommate.

A roommate?

Oh, how many roommates do
you need to play Toilet Tag?

You need more than one.
Tally’s my roommate.

Oh really?

Yeah.

I didn’t know that.

Okay, well, there you go.

Can I see this one more time?

Is that in the employee handbook?

I mean, no fraternizing?

I’m gonna use-

Outside of the office?

A little.
Tis not.

Oh, thank you.

Just refresh.

Do it.

I’m trying to decipher if
this is just two people.

I believe this is just two people.

Okay.

Yeah, this is just two.
This is just two people.

Let’s take that to KG and
let’s give this to Jasmine.

Thank you.

Yeah, we’re giving Jasmine the cherry,

but before we find out if we were right,

we wanna remind you about
something that’s very, very right

and that is the “Blood Oath” comic book.

This is issue number
two of our “Blood Oath”

comic book series, this
is, “Rhett and Link

versus Barbara and Jade and J.A.D.E”.

Yes, it gets very complex.
If you want to get this,

then you gotta join 3rd
Degree Mythical Society

by January 31st.

Go to mythicalsociety.com for details

and let the saga continue.

Yeah, we got a comic book, y’all.

It’s a series.

It’s collectible.

It’ll last forever.

Okay, let’s start over here with Brittany.

Yeah! That’s right!

So you’re on like an egg kick lately?

Yeah. Well I cheated to get it. I got-

You collected friends?

My entire neighborhood involved.

They all use Vital Farms eggs?

Some of ’em. I put out a
call in my Buy Nothing group.

Buy Nothing group? What is that?

If you have stuff you wanna
give away to your neighbors,

you can post it in there.

They can give their things
away, you can take it

just the only rule is
no monetary exchange,

no bartering, it’s just giving away.

So I said, “Save me your
little egg cartons.”

Oh. So is that an app, Buy
Nothing or is it a website?

It’s a Facebook group.

Facebook group, and how
local does it need to be?

It’s very local.

Like, there’s multiple within Burbank.

It’s very specific, so
you’re mostly talking

to people in your immediate area.

So you’re putting ’em to work.

What else have you gotten
from your neighbors?

I’ve gotten a lot from my neighbors.

I got an unopened Google Smart speaker.

It’s really nice.

Really? Did you ask for it or did they-

No. They gave it away and
I said I would take it.

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Okay.

Wow. And you got that hat?

I got this hat. My friend and I were-

And what’s that called again?

Were racing to get it.

Buy Nothing-
The Birdwatchers Club.

Buy Nothing group.

Oh, I thought you meant the
hat. The Birdwatchers Club.

I feel like, I feel like we’re 100%.

Yeah.

You a “Lord of the Rings” fan?

“Lord of the Rings” fan,

I’m also a Renaissance Fair person.

I think we knew that.

I go every year and this was
just a really easy cheap buy.

Let me, pull your hair
back there a little bit.

Cute.

Oh, yeah, yeah.
It works.

I think I might just wear this out.

Yeah, yeah, it’s yours.

Would you like to wear it out? Yes.

So they weren’t broken?.

No, no. It’s fine. It’s malleable.

And have you worn them before in public?

Yes. When I went to the Renaissance Fair-

Oh.
In May.

But what about just like in a place

where it would be a little more odd?

I feel like I, they’re like really fancy.

Like it should be a special occasion

and I just, that opportunity
hasn’t come yet, so…

Don’t wait forever.

Yeah, you’re right.

Forever may never come.

Yeah. Make fancy happen on your terms.

You’re right.
Period.

Jasmine, are you cheery-ing your toilet?

You had it 100%.

Oh!
Oh.

So we, I was right about your propensity.

My propensity for toiletry.

So, did you bring a
preexisting toilet fun spirit

to Mythical or did your
job lead you to this place?

Right, so I think when
I was office manager,

I think that’s when
the toilet fun started.

Okay.
I mean-

And once it starts, it does not stop.

Gotta have the popery, the
toothpicks, the- That was me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

I’ll tell you that.

I love that. Thank you so much.

Those little flossers in
there, man those come in handy.

I’ve used every single thing.

You’re welcome. You’re welcome.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Toilets are outta order today though.

By the way.

That is not my problem anymore.

I’m pretty upset about that.

I don’t know who did it…

But it wasn’t Jasmine.

And how many roommates do you have?

Just well, animals count?

Nope.

Okay.

Roommates who can write.

I have one husband whom I live with.

Oh.
Just one?

Just one.

I’ll remember that.
Just one, my others live-

See, this is totally against your theory.

So you and your hubby
both write in that thing?

Yeah, yup.

Yeah, you do.

Hey, I think it’s cute

that you talk to your
husband through Toilet Tag.

Then you know, how long you been married?

Six months

Right.

Yeah. It was very recent. Yeah, not long.

Yeah. Yeah.

Once you get a year under your belt,

you won’t bother doing that stuff anymore.

The first anniversary is
paid for though, right?

It is.
There you go.

Huh,

We also have like a shower note thing.

It’s like a waterproof-

Is this only how you communicate?

No, we talk way too much.

That could be a beautiful relationship.

It’s me, I’m the one that talks too much.

I get all of the talking things.

I like talking.

He’s quiet?

Yes.

Yeah. This is how you’re
getting him engaged.

You gotta have one that’s quiet.

Yeah.

And KG you, this is used?

No, it’s not used.

Well then why is it wet?

I thought it’d be funny
to put water in it.

Well, you-

Good instinct, you got me.

You were right.

You totally got me.

And then refusing to touch it.

Yeah.

You’re so-

Yeah. Yeah. You played
that very, very well.

She’s sly, she’s a sly devil.

Yeah, you got me.

Prove it, lick it.

Oh God.

Come on, lick it.

So tell, so just like, tell
us about what led to this.

Well, me and Tally
recently moved in together

and we wanted like our
aesthetic to be quirky and cute

and toilet brushes are
really dirty and gross

and so just to have this next
door toilet, it’s really cute.

Period.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Are there any other,
is there a fruit theme

in the bathroom in general?

No, it’s just like bright
colors, so we have that

and then we have like a colorful mat

that says, “Get naked”
in front of the shower.

True.

Wow, that sounds like a
lot of fun. You guys…

It kinda sounds like what would pop up

on Link’s Instagram shopping tab.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I gotta work on my algorithm.

Recovering slut, wow.

Join 3rd Degree monthly by January 31st

to get the second issue of “Blood Oath”,

our comic book. Mythicalsociety.com.