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What are you waiting for?
Grammar!
If I took a Skillshare class on talking, I’d probably be better at doing these commercials.
Hey I’m Grump, I’m not so Grump, and we’re the Game Grumps!
Hi.
Hi.
I’m Batman.
No.
Are you ready for my vengeance?
Batman’s right here.
You can see him.
That’s who I’m speaking as.
Oh.
How’s it going?
Hey.
What are you guys doing down there?
He just has a little like curled up smile.
You partying?
Hello.
Hello, it’s Batman Vengeance.
Batman Vengeance.
It’s a video game.
How can you, you tell the story?
I don’t, like, well, Bruce Wayne was walking with his parents.
No, not the story of Batman.
Which story?
The story of why we’re playing this.
I don’t remember.
You went to the wall and you said, Al, let’s play this.
No, that was Chicken Blaster.
No, this was a long time ago.
Oh.
Okay.
I mean, it’s still here somewhere.
You brought it in, yeah, it’s over there.
Really?
You just like walked in and you were like, let’s play these pieces of shit.
It doesn’t sound like something I’ve ever said.
Batman Vengeance.
Wow, look at that.
That’s exactly the words that you said.
Huh.
Yeah, we had Buffy, we played that.
Yep.
Charlie, we played that.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
Yeah, and then Batman Vengeance.
Yeah, Batman Vengeance.
I guess I must have.
Okay.
Well, I did just watch Batman, the 1989 movie again for the first time in 30 years.
Yeah.
I loved it.
Yeah, it’s kind of boring, eh?
No, I thought it was excellent.
Oh, okay.
Rest in peace, Kevin Conroy, by the way.
Yes.
Voice of Batman.
Yeah.
Very recently.
He seemed like a really good dude.
Wonderfully talented guy.
And what a voice.
I mean, he had that like, I’m Batman voice, you know, it’s just like so iconic.
You just hear it and you’re like, that’s Batman.
It’s gotta be.
He’s like, I’m Batman.
I used to rush home from school so I could catch the beginning of the Batman animated
show.
Just because it was so like, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah,
dah.
It was fucking Danny Elfman’s score, man.
Was it really?
Yeah.
Wow.
That figures.
Kidnapping a Pixar mom.
Huh.
So they did.
Yo, what that ass do, doe?
What a cute bomb.
I think it’s the Joker.
It’s gotta be.
Oh, did she die?
Wow.
Did it explode?
Was that the implication?
I think it was.
Oh my God.
This game starts with violence.
Oh, that guy died.
Are we getting vengeance?
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
Are we getting vengeance for the Pixar mom?
I guess so.
Well, you loved her.
He’s like, dead ass doe.
Sounds like someone’s dead.
I must avenge it.
Wow, that’s pretty dark.
Do you think his cape gets stuck on those gargoyles?
I do.
Do you think his butt cheeks get chafey and tight all the time?
Oh yeah.
No question.
I honestly, if you told me that it didn’t, I’d be surprised.
And offended.
Yeah.
Hey, I look different now.
It’s terrible on the news.
Let’s turn the brightness way up.
I won’t be able to see the man of bat.
Alright, so here we are in the world of Batman.
Ooh, look at this.
Are there, wow.
You can just kind of like morph into a puddle of bat.
And I can punch.
And I think I can, whoops.
Oh, the bat communicator’s unavailable.
The bat communicator’s unavailable, yeah.
Wait, I thought I said the Batman communicator’s unavailable.
That would be, there would be no point to that.
But I was, hold on.
Because you are Batman.
No.
What?
I was playing this to see if it worked before we started recording Game Grumps.
And when I pressed that button, it said Batman communicator.
Oh my god.
Did I get an instant Mandela effect in my life?
I think you must have.
What did you remember?
Because you were excited to mention it.
I remember saying it out loud.
I was like, why does it say Batman communicator?
That’s really strange.
Well, the simplest answer is usually correct.
And in this case, the simplest answer is that you hallucinated that shit.
Yeah, I guess so.
Hey, remember in the show when Batman jumped on a bunch of boxes?
That was my favorite part.
Dude.
Iconic.
The absolute balls on the writers.
I don’t know.
Speaking of Mandela effect, I don’t know if I actually saw this in the trailer of Deadly
Night with Detective Hopper from Stranger Things where he’s Santa.
Or if it’s just a funny thing that I thought of.
But I have this image in my head of a Santa style horror movie where the people who are
gonna get murdered, they’re like, he knows if you’re sleeping.
He knows when you’re awake.
They’re just like, he knows, he fucking knows.
But they’re talking about Santa.
I don’t know.
Maybe it was.
I haven’t seen the trailer for that.
Oh, it’s good.
It looks pretty silly.
It does.
Got good reviews.
Did it?
Uh-huh.
Oh my God.
I thought she had tape over her mouth.
I guess I took it off.
I am capable of that.
I am Batman after all.
I don’t believe you have that type of strength.
What does this say?
I thought the bomb went off.
C4.
I guess not.
What’s a C4?
Little joke I make.
Anyway, we should go.
This is like a countdown detonator or something.
Pretty cool.
It feels like you should go somewhere else.
Oh, sorry.
I just thought it would be cool to explore my surroundings.
The credits are like, we have to tell you about Sebastian Villareal.
He runs like a wiener.
He’s so kind of wiener-y about the way he runs.
Am I making that up?
What?
He looks like he runs like a wiener.
I don’t know.
There’s something wiener-y about the way he runs.
I feel like it’s pretty similar to how I run.
No, you run like a person.
He runs like a wiener.
Maybe it’s because he has those tiny little Bruce Timm’s toothpick legs.
He’s got that fucking Dorito shape.
Oh.
Hell yeah.
He’s in some mad air.
Hey, man.
Sonic Adventure did it right.
Why didn’t he break out his fat snowboard?
Right?
Perfect for this occasion.
I feel like, dude, am I hallucinating that?
Didn’t he have like a thing where he was like, like, folded out, like an airboard or something?
I can’t remember.
He’s had so many gadgets.
What am I thinking of?
Some cartoon where some character has like a board that folds out.
It’s like a croissant.
And then they fly around on it.
What the fuck is that?
Oh, it’s the Joker.
Ooh, he’s freaky looking in this.
Yeah, what the hell?
That’s not what he looked like in the Bruce Timm cartoon.
He never looks the same twice.
In any episode.
In anything.
He just drops her.
Sorry.
I guess I’m gonna be.
Well I guess you won’t be needing this anymore.
Oh, Mary Flinnage.
Press the Y button when you’re a flashing object to pick it up.
All day long you’ll have good luck.
It’s Markimoo.
Is it?
Yeah.
Cool.
I mean, it sounds like him.
I mean, fuck, I’d do the voice for a video game if there was money in it.
Huh.
You’re a true artist, Arin.
I mean, fucking Mark Hamill’s probably got a nice house, he wants to pay the mortgage
off.
I understand.
Gotta pay those bills, man.
Yeah, chances are he didn’t get paid very well for Star Wars.
Well, who knows?
There was only three of them.
The first one probably wasn’t paid anything.
The three biggest blockbusters of all time.
Yeah, but the second one he was probably like, well, the first one was pretty good, we should
renegotiate.
And they’re like, okay.
And they give him a little bit more.
And then the third one, they’re like, well, this is the last one and we don’t know how
well it’s gonna do.
He has the rights to use his face.
Okay, fair enough.
Oh, he’s actually talking.
Why is it so fucking quiet?
Run a profile on this woman.
See if it’s complicated.
Do some miniature golfing.
What, is Batgirl just like his 16-year-old daughter who’s like, I don’t know how to use
computers?
I can’t remember what Batgirl’s relationship- Batgirl is Gordon’s daughter.
Is that right?
Yeah.
Wow.
Wow, you got quite a- you get a fucking halo on this?
And does Commissioner Gordon know that Batman is Bruce Wayne?
No.
Wow.
And does he know that Batgirl is his daughter?
I don’t think so.
Wow, so he’s just fucking surrounded by Bat people and he has no idea about it?
I wish I knew who any one of these Bat people were.
God, they feel familiar.
What the fuck now?
I guess I go down here?
While Batgirl’s running Prince or whatever?
Oh, this is my Bat bathroom.
Speaking of Prince, his music was all over that 1989 Batman movie.
Really?
Oh yeah.
I hope you’re managing to scrape by despite my absence.
What is that, Alfred Tron 9000?
I’m a computer now.
Just live with it.
We’ll begin with a bit of Batgrapple training.
Ooh.
You’ll be so kind as to activate the grapple.
I will activate the grapple, yes.
Grapple is a hilarious word.
It is.
Grapple.
Grapple.
Grapple.
It’d only be funnier if it was Grappus.
That would be like the ultimate.
Grapple, can I use the grapple?
Not till you’re older.
No.
That’s the Grandpa Grapple.
From the grapple icon next to your health bar blinks, it means you’re able to grapple.
To activate grapple, enter first person mode by pressing and holding R button.
Okay.
When the game is paused, you can move the control pad or control stick left to right
to cycle through your gadgets, while in first person mode, you can also change gadgets on
the fly without pausing the game.
Hmm.
Interesting.
Ooh.
I don’t want a Batarang.
Wait.
Batarang?
Lek Batarang.
Batarang?
Lek Batarang.
Oh, Elek Batarang.
Oh, got it.
I have so much shit.
Yeah.
The Begrapple.
Once the Grapple is aimed at a suitable target, the crosshairs turn red and you may fire at
your leisure.
Of course, you’re still free to move about while the Grapple is activated.
What the hell are you talking about, Alfred?
Why would I want to shoot my ledger?
Grapple will automatically release.
Ooh.
I’d strongly suggest receiving your equipment from the higher platforms before we go.
We continue with training.
Okay.
Uh.
You look stressed.
Perhaps you should tear off a quick nut.
Oh, hold on.
I got to fucking change this.
I saw that you can invert the camera and I’m all over that shit.
Okay.
Whoops.
Options.
Sound.
Invert crosshair.
Off.
Thank you, Christ.
Nice.
Oh, that’s so much better.
Now when you press up, it looks up?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That is better.
All right.
Hey, that’s cool.
I’ve done it.
Ah.
You’ve uncovered some bat cuffs.
Well done.
Thank you.
How did those get there?
Whoa.
You’re going to avoid a fight altogether by sneaking up behind an adversary with a-
I hope you don’t find the bat cat of Ninetales.
Don’t mind that it smells like Old Spice.
I’m sure he won’t come back to pester you.
Okay.
I didn’t hear a word he said.
He was saying if you knock someone out and use the bat cuffs on them, they won’t get
up and attack a second time.
Ah.
Well, well, well.
Can I bat grapple over there?
Did they want me to do other shit or should I leave?
He was just saying words, right?
It was just the tutorial, man.
Because there was something up there, wasn’t there?
Oh, yes, there was something up there.
Okay, check this out.
Check this out.
Watch this.
Watch this.
Bat grapple.
Bat grapple.
Yep.
And then there’s fucking shit over here, dog.
Whoa.
What’s that?
Nice.
Oh, sorry.
Uh.
Use your batarangs.
Very good, sir.
Thank you.
You may want to use your cape for the return to ground level.
By stretching it taut, you can glide quite a distance.
Ooh.
Mm.
Stretch it taut.
Ah.
Now sit on this.
Now it’s time to die.
With enough precision to knock a weapon from a man’s hand, you’ll need to take careful
aim.
Oh.
With a little practice, you can strafe around your target without losing your aim.
Sure.
Once you have your target in your sights, the crosshairs turn red.
Okay.
You can.
Uh.
What the fuck?
Oh, I can move with the d-pad?
Why would I do something like that?
That’s silly.
Uh.
Batarang.
I love it.
Um.
It dings.
It’s like a dunking tank.
Very underwhelming, isn’t it, Master Bruce?
Yes, over.
Of course, you have a wide variety of the martial arts at your disposal.
Perhaps you could practice- The ancient art of karate?
You may find some of your opponents a smidgen more clever than a man’s.
A healthy defense will make you- I don’t know about that Alfred, I don’t know.
There are few men in the world as skilled in this wide variety of martial arts- You’re
so cool and handsome, you’re amazing.
You’re like Steven Seagal, but even hotter.
Boy, anyone would be lucky to have you as a partner.
I mean friend.
Oops, oops, oops, oops.
What am I supposed to do here?
Oh.
Oh, oh.
Wow.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Alfred, you’re saying the guys I’m gonna be fighting are tougher than this metal post?
This thing is breaking both of my hands.
You’re so amazing.
You’ve probably worked up quite a sweat.
Better hit the showers.
Like the camera comes down and goes right into space.
Go on.
Of course, I don’t know where you are.
I always know where you are.
Ooh.
How does he- isn’t he just the butler?
Yeah, right.
How does he know all this?
I don’t know, it’s a video game.
Jesus Christ.
Try not to get your head chopped off.
Here we go.
Oh, the walls are closing in too.
Oops.
Was it this way?
Oh, fuck.
You push against the wall and press the Y button.
Okay.
That’ll allow you to sneak around the laser.
Sneak around the laser.
Whoops.
Terribly sorry, sir, but the object of the exercise is to avoid detection.
I’m afraid you’ll have to begin again.
Oh, shut the fuck up.
All the way back here?
Whoops.
Terribly sorry, sir, looks like you fucked up again.
You dumbass.
I like that sound.
Yeah.
You’ll never find me.
Not while I’m doing this slightly to the right.
Sounds like a 70 prog rock, you know?
Like it’s like a- Yeah, like you’re about to launch into a 20-minute song about elves.
Yes.
It’s like the intro.
Um, this?
Very good.
Terribly sorry, sir, that was the button of everyone knows you’re here now.
That was the loud Batman alarm.
Use your cape to slow or speed your fall as necessary.
Whoops.
Trust the grapple.
Love the grapple.
Touch the grapple.
The grapple is life.
The grapple is love.
Whoops.
No one will find me here.
That’s right, nobody will find me here.
That’s right, nobody will find me here.
Oh, shit.
Whoa.
Oh, sir.
What’s the deep- why button to dive faster?
All right.
Terribly sorry, sir, but you have five seconds to live.
I’m a missile.
I caught a baby.
Swinging with a baby.
No, the baby’s mine.
Baby, I’m gonna eat the baby.
Wonderful, sir.
That completes our training.
Please deposit the baby in the receptacle.
You never cease to amaze.
I pity the criminal who comes between you and justice.
Is he just now learning to be Batman?
Always find Batgirl dutifully answering her communicator.
Okay.
She never gets any action out there, which is fine.
I guess it’s all about you these days.
Look harder.
Why do we dress like bats?
I don’t know, that’s kind of your thing.
Yeah.
I just figured, I don’t know.
You looked like you knew what you were doing.
I don’t know what I’m doing.
You know what you’re doing.
No.
This is so embarrassing.
It’s kind of one of those situations where we each kind of thought the other one knew
what he was doing, but now we’re just dressed like bats.
Well, I don’t mind doing it if you don’t mind doing it.
I mean, we’ve already bought the outfits.
Yeah, I figured it’s bulletproof and everything.
It’s like whatever, right?
Oh, pink.
I’m glad we have the pink bar to remind us of the color pink.
I can’t believe they both dress like bats.
It’s Harley Quinn.
Hey, sugar.
Play a while, duda.
Mr. J.
I guarantee I’ll make you smile.
Oh, the duda day.
Your singing voice is beautiful.
Not now, Pooh.
My audience awaits.
I love Harley Quinn.
Do you?
Yeah, she’s adorable.
I mean, she’s psychotic.
Well, yeah, but I mean like Tara Strong’s Harley Quinn is just so cute.
I love Tara Strong.
Um, why are we dressed like mimes?
I mean, the-
A couple of guys and I were thinking that since we’re fighting the bat and all that,
maybe we’re not getting paid as much as we should.
Maybe we don’t have to dress like mimes.
When he’s waiting for the penguin, we will get him better.
The music’s getting kind of loud, don’t you think?
Well, now you’re working for Mr. J, you chatterhead.
He’ll do what he says and take what he gives and hope it is not a bullet.
That’s a pretty good little, kind of musical.
Phoebe, you’re the best.
Hopefully not a bullet.
There’s got to be a name for that, right?
Like that kind of like cadence?
I don’t know.
Right, like the Minsky pickup or whatever?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ooh, there’s lightning.
Why am I here now?
I don’t know.
Ah, ah!
Mimes!
Ooh, ah, ooh!
And stay quiet!
Yeah, he really came at me with some voice shit.
Yeah, with some strong non-mimey action.
Press the Y button.
Oh, I can handle them.
I thought it said press they button.
Press they button.
He always carrying they thang on them.
All right.
Geez.
Wow, he took that ladder like a fucking champ.
Alfred, teach me how to climb ladders.
Terribly sorry, Master Bruce.
Oh, I get right, I have the grapple machine that’s doing that thing.
I exclusively take elevators.
Uh, free look, bad grapple.
Man, is being Batman just like always this like clunky?
Batman’s like, I got all this shit on my belt.
Yeah, I don’t know why.
Oh, fuck.
This would probably be a lot easier if I wasn’t dressed like a giant bat.
Why do I do this?
I’m not really dressed like a bat so much as I just have like bat ears.
Yeah, seems weird.
This cape, it just doesn’t make any sense.
It’s really cumbersome for my movement.
Why do you dress like a bat?
I was scared of bats for once.
Oh.
Not anymore though.
No, now I’m fine.
But it’s a symbol of matters.
Okay.
Why don’t you just wear a t-shirt or something?
Nah.
Probably just wear the bat costume.
Oh, this is incredible.
Oh my god.
Pixar mom number two.
This looks like a job meant for a guy dressed like a bat.
That’s me.
I’m the Batman.
Does anyone really question this anymore?
Alright, background ball.
There’s just a little background ball.
I’m coming.
Excuse me.
Ooh, ow.
So is Batman bulletproof?
This one’s got a cute little hat.
Sorry.
Oh, here you go.
You’re all locked up.
Yeah.
For somebody to find you.
Now you’re handcuffed and dead.
I hope nobody finds you in this position. That’d be crazy.
Shit.
Terribly sorry, sir. The door is locked.
Oh no, Alfred.
Where the fuck am I going now?
I don’t know.
It’s okay, grapple.
Yep.
Where?
Oh, it’s like pointing to where it is.
Yeah, I was just looking around.
Oh shit, there it is.
Boy, they really made this look like the show, but like in all the weird ways, like the red sky and everything.
Yeah.
Nope, okay.
Black, white, and red is cool.
It reminds me of, did you ever read Grendel, the comic book?
Grendel?
Grendel.
I mean, it has a million different forms, but the early stuff is all in black, white, and red.
Cool.
Yeah, it is cool.
It’s very-
Does it have a lot of blood?
Stylish, yes it does.
I’m assuming that’s why the red is there.
It helps.
So you make sure, so that you know it’s not cum?
Yeah, I’m sure that’s what they were going for, Arin.
Because they drew the comic?
They’re afraid that after Grendel stabs someone with his electric fork weapon, that cum would explode out of them.
Well, yeah, I mean, because they showed it to somebody and they were like, what do you think?
And he’s like, is there cum coming out of them?
No, that’s blood.
All right, final add red.
She probably adds some red because it looks like cum to me.
Yeah.
What do you think, Larry?
That’s definitely cum.
See, two people think it’s cum.
Larry doesn’t even work here.
Whoops, I don’t think I was supposed to go down here.
No, you’re fine.
See?
Straight into traffic.
Game over.
The Joker’s men have Mary, and the mystery remains unsolved.
And also you’re a bat smear on the pavement of Fifth Avenue.
Oh, the Joker’s men have Mary, comma, and the mystery remains unsolved.
Oh, did you think the Joker’s men have Mary and the mystery?
Yes.
And then I was like, what the fuck does this sentence mean?
Yeah.
Commas are important.
I didn’t know her name was Mary.
Did they say that ever?
Maybe they did.
Who’s Mary?
I don’t know.
I mean, I assume the Pixar mom that he is.
Right.
But like, who is she to Batman?
Who is she to Batman?
Well, I mean, that’s a given.
With that fucking, with that Pixar butt, though.
You gotta cuff that dude.
I don’t care.
What’s he gonna do, fucking wake up?
Yeah.
I’m on another rooftop now.
Ow.
Fucking shoot me.
My cute little hat.
Do I get like more points if I can cuff them?
I think so.
I don’t know.
Who’s playing fucking jazz over there?
Did you hear that shit?
I couldn’t hear.
Somebody was talking over it.
Sorry, sorry.
I’m just kidding.
I’m so sorry.
God, I’m so sorry.
Ruining my jazz concert.
I’m so sorry.
Huh.
Under the rooftop.
Alright.
Now to punch this guy.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Oh shit, he punched back?
Yeah.
What happened?
I don’t know, boss.
There was a guy.
He was dressed like a bat and he beat me up.
Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on.
What was that?
What was that thing about the, he was dressed as a bat?
Yeah.
Listen, I’m as embarrassed as you are.
But not like, not like really though, like.
He looked like, I don’t know, like mid 90s WWE.
Huh.
Like it was a gimmick, definitely a gimmick, but there was still like attitude to it.
Yeah, he really beat the shit out of me.
Interesting.
Papa Dan.
Do you, do you have pics?
No.
No, I beat the shit out of me.
Right.
He took my cam cam.
He smeared my mind makeup.
Cut me up all over my body.
And what of your Microsoft dinosaur CDs?
I don’t even want to talk about it.
Broken into pieces.
Nice, dude.
Excellent.
Got those pringles.
What did he say?
I don’t know.
Wow, this back grapple goes far.
Damn, dude.
Oh my God, stop running away.
Moving the C stick left to right, the camel will return to its default behind the back
position.
The patented old behind the back position.
Classic.
Uh, okay, I see.
Great.
I forgot what the buttons were.
There we go.
It feels like this game has a lot of like empty stuff.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
I, this looks like a, like a tech demo for a little bit, right?
Like, like, so this is the idea we have.
Yeah.
Like it’s a man.
You cannot wait when it’s finished.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He like showed it to the boss and they’re like, he’s like, great.
Awesome.
So how much time do you have left on it?
Like maybe a year?
Yeah, it shipped last week.
Oh, well in that case you’re fired.
What?
You mean like, like it shipped to like the, the testers or no, no, no.
It’s in homes.
Like, like homes homes?
Yeah, like people’s homes.
Oops.
Or like you’re my homie homes.
No, that’s homes.
IGN reviewed it.
They gave it a four.
The Jugglers Men have Mary and the Mystery.
I’m the mystery.
Oh my God.
Whoa.
Whoops.
Well, there you go.
Aaron, the Jugglers Men, you’re going to have Mary and the Mystery.
There’s something very like whimsical about Mary and the Mystery.
I know.
It’s like the, whoops.
It’s Mary, if you will.
It’s like a Broadway show.
Or like, um.
I took the lady to see Mary and the Mystery yesterday.
Like a sixties flower power band.
Yeah.
We are Mary and the Mystery.
Vegetable rights and peace.
Vegetable rights.
Yeah.
It’s Neil from the Young Ones.
I love him.
Remind me of who Neil from the Young Ones is.
The Young Ones is that show, early eighties British comedy.
I’ve talked about it many times.
There was like the punk, the hippie, the mod, and the, um, uh, I don’t even know what you’d call it.
Like the new wave guy.
And, uh, they’re all living together in a house and it’s about their wacky misadventures.
It was the first, um, show that kind of had like, like that weird Tim and Eric energy that I know of.
But like 40 years ago.
But it had like that fourth wall breaking kind of thing where occasionally like one of them would just talk to the audience or explode through a wall for no reason.
It was great.
I love that kind of shit.
Me too.
You gotta see it.
I’m sure there are a lot of people that-
What year did you say it was?
1982?
83 I would say?
Interesting.
Yeah.
I grew up watching it.
I mean, it might look very tame and weird to people now, but at the time it was very revolutionary.
Am I fucking dumb?
Like what am I doing here?
Hey, uh, are they handsome?
Excuse me?
Do you think they’ll want to kiss?
What was that sound?
What was what sound?
Is that him like marking his territory?
No, he’s putting like the kiss spray.
Oh, got it.
Oh, like Benaka?
Yeah, it’s like I’m about to kiss a girl.
You know?
Yeah.
Got it.
Benaka?
Is that what it’s called?
I think that’s what it was called, right?
Really?
I don’t know.
It’s been a long time since breath spray was on my mind.
Yeah, I don’t give a shit about having terrible breath anymore.
I’ll just brush my teeth one more time a day.
How many times do you brush?
Uh, twice.
Yeah, that’s a normal amount.
Three if there’s a show.
If I’m going on stage, I like to have my teeth brushed.
Otherwise, it just feels weird and grungy otherwise.
Yeah, because they can really smell you from way the fuck down there.
I agree, it’s totally psychological, but it just makes me feel fresher for the show.
Whatever makes you fucking ready to do the show, it doesn’t matter, man.
Absolutely.
You fucking live your truth, brother.
Yep, my truth also includes Colombian heroin.
Okay, I’m not so much in support of that truth.
I’m sorry, I thought we were talking about my truth.
Well, it can still be your truth.
I just, I don’t personally endorse it.
I don’t think it’s a good idea.
For you.
Yeah, well that’s your truth.
Your truth says I shouldn’t be doing heroin.
And my truth is I hate you.
And my truth is shut up.
I don’t know what’s next for Batman.
After twelve movies and eighteen video games?
Man, I kind of feel like this guy dressed up as a giant bat.
I don’t know where there is to go from here.
Where’s the next?
Where’s the next?
Down here?
It’s definitely not down here.
Whoops.
This is where you fall in Joker’s Man and get Mary in the Mystery.
Fucking Mary in the Mystery!
It’s such a great sequel to Mary and the Solved.
Shit.
Oh fuck!
I did it the first time and now I can’t do it ever since.
I just like, it was a fluke.
Didn’t you sneak along the side?
Yeah, they want me to sidle.
But I don’t want to fucking do that.
It takes forever.
Sidle.
There you go.
Look at his wiggly little toes.
Those are my sidlin’ toes.
I mean, let’s be real.
Batman’s fucking silly.
It is weird.
He’s straight up wearing, like, pajama tights.
Like, I don’t know.
I’m sure that joke slash observation has been made before.
But, like, god damn.
He’s a fucking silly man.
The whole thing is a little wild.
How does he strike fear into anyone’s hearts?
Well, I mean, just because it’s crazy in theory.
There’s a lot of crazy people who can come up to you on the street in the city and you’d
be freaked out by them.
Whoops.
Oh, I can do a jump kick.
That’s cool.
That is cool.
Also, I’m dying.
Yeah.
Use your fuck move.
Fuck!
When you were watching the Batman movie, did, uh, what the fuck was I gonna say?
Was there a scene where, like, when Batman first shows up, they’re like, what are you?
Dressed as a bat?
Like, they’re kind of laughing at him?
Or was it immediately scary?
I can’t remember.
No, no, no.
He-
Because he, like, comes from the shadows, right?
Yeah.
It’s already established at the beginning that, like, there’s a masked vigilante going
around town fucking shit up, so the first low-level thugs that run into him are already
freaked out.
God, what must it have been like to, like, because before that it was just the Adam West
show, right?
Yes.
Well, that’s the thing.
Like, you say-
Okay, I gotta go over there.
You say the 1989 Batman, you feel it’s dull, it, I can, I can assure you that at the time,
it was, uh, shockingly, um, jam-packed with, with a- people have just never seen a Batman
that dark before.
Right.
I like the second one.
Batman Returns?
Yeah, it’s when they were just like, well, Tim Burton, you did it.
You made us a zillion dollars.
Just do whatever you want for the second one.
Yeah.
And he’s like, you got it.
Yup.
And he made fucking-
It’s gonna get weird.
You made everything, like, super campy goth.
There’s, like, a weird fucking rubber ducky boat and shit, and it’s like, what the hell
is happening?
Yeah, it is weird.
I have to say, well, because it is a, it is a mixture.
Joker has that too in the 89 Batman.
Um, there’s, there’s still remnants of that cartoonishness from the previous Batmans.
Yeah.
Um.
Christopher Walken comes out and he’s like, uh, I’m, I’m, I’m doing something.
I’m Batman.
And then Batman’s like, shut up, you’re going to jail.
Like, punches him in the face.
Can’t remember.
That’s in the second one, which I haven’t seen in a very long time.
Oh, it’s so, it’s, it’s just like it’s a feast for the eyes, you know?
Mm.
It’s like classic Tim, Tim Burton.
Oh, please, oh, please.
Nicely done.
Ooh, when I made it, there was a musical sting.
Wheee.
All right, all right, Mary, where are you at?
Mary and the Mysteries.
What the fuck is the disc?
Is it saving?
I don’t know.
Maybe that’s Mary and the Mysteries’ first album.
Grab it before it’s gone.
Oh, it went platinum.
Fuck.
It’s rated number nine in Belgium.
What?
Oh, here we go.
Last time.
Nice.
Or not.
He’s like, well, I can’t break the law.
Oh, man.
This isn’t what you think, Batman.
It’s not what it looks like.
We’re actually having a really great time.
We’re role playing, Batman.
Man dressed as Bat.
There’s a block button, right?
Yeah, dude.
Oh, wow.
Get that little jab in.
Oh.
My god.
That’s what happens whenever I box, whenever I throw, like, a right hook, I go, haaa.
Oh.
Hello.
Oh, I should probably lock him up there.
Did he just say fuck?
You’re safe now.
She’s, like, completely dead.
Oh, my god, are you joking?
Oh, my god, he dressed as a bat.
I know.
I was trying to think of something different to do with him.
What kind of money do you have?
Here.
Take a batarang.
It’s five million dollars.
Yeah.
Please don’t lose it.
I was planning on reselling it as a retirement plan.
Reselling his money?
No, it’s his bat thing.
Oh, oh, yeah.
Hey, we did it.
Rooftop battle.
Good job, man.
Is this, is this just, like, a chapter of the game, or?
I believe so.
Is a girl to die for just, like, the subtitle of Batman Vengeance?
In this economy?
It’s a ransom.
What could it cost?
Five million dollars?
The transmitter you gave Mary last night, it’s coming from Gotham Bridge.
Right.
Are you going before my kiss?
Where are you going?
Nowhere.
To Gotham Bridge?
No.
That’s where you’re going, isn’t it?
Uh-uh.
You’re getting in the Batmobile, aren’t you?
Batmobile?
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
You’re talking to me over the radio now, aren’t you?
All I said.
Nope.
Over.
Radio out.
I guess this game is just a bunch of punching dudes.
I love it.
Like fucking, congratulations, whoa, my god, dude.
Yo, yo, yo, yo, chill out.
I wish all bullets were big, candy-like, and dodgeable.
Whoops.
They are dodgeable if you’re fast enough.
Oops.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
All right.
Looks like you fucking blew yourselves up, brothers.
Shut up, you’re going to jail.
How about that?
Shut up, you’re going to jail.
He runs like a wiener.
Like, come on.
How do you not see this?
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Look, he looks fucking weird.
He looks like a doofus.
He just looks like a guy who’s got places to go.
He looks like a doofus.
The way he runs is so silly.
I will not have my spandex wearing Cape Donning brethren talk to smack about.
Oh my god, dude.
Ooh, health.
All right, well.
This was fun.
Next time on Game Grumps, I guess.
Yeah, I enjoyed this.
It was just a little romp in the Batman world.
Yeah.
We saved a human life.
Yeah.
Made a couple Batman jokes.
Punched a lot of people.
Nice little Monday.
It’s just a fucking Monday, dude.
Just another Manic Monday.
I wish it was Sunday, because that’s my fun day.
See you later, everyone.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, man.
Fuck.
Three more like that, and I might be in trouble.
All right.
You didn’t find Mary or her son.
What?
Her son now?
Yeah.
Well, that’s what the mystery was.
Oh.
Was she the girl to die for?
I don’t know.
A lot of mysteries in that, man.
This game had five lines of plot, and we missed them all.
That’s so true.
All right.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Good job, Arin.
Yes, indeed.
VIDEO
After playing the best PS2 video game Batman game, I don’t want to play other PS2 video games
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Mr. Pizza, please come on Game Grumps.
We just want to talk.
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What are you waiting for?
Grammar!
If I took a Skillshare class on talking, I’d probably be better at doing these commercials.
Hey I’m Grump, I’m not so Grump, and we’re the Game Grumps!
Hi.
Hi.
I’m Batman.
No.
Are you ready for my vengeance?
Batman’s right here.
You can see him.
That’s who I’m speaking as.
Oh.
How’s it going?
Hey.
What are you guys doing down there?
He just has a little like curled up smile.
You partying?
Hello.
Hello, it’s Batman Vengeance.
Batman Vengeance.
It’s a video game.
How can you, you tell the story?
I don’t, like, well, Bruce Wayne was walking with his parents.
No, not the story of Batman.
Which story?
The story of why we’re playing this.
I don’t remember.
You went to the wall and you said, Al, let’s play this.
No, that was Chicken Blaster.
No, this was a long time ago.
Oh.
Okay.
I mean, it’s still here somewhere.
You brought it in, yeah, it’s over there.
Really?
You just like walked in and you were like, let’s play these pieces of shit.
It doesn’t sound like something I’ve ever said.
Batman Vengeance.
Wow, look at that.
That’s exactly the words that you said.
Huh.
Yeah, we had Buffy, we played that.
Yep.
Charlie, we played that.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
Yeah, and then Batman Vengeance.
Yeah, Batman Vengeance.
I guess I must have.
Okay.
Well, I did just watch Batman, the 1989 movie again for the first time in 30 years.
Yeah.
I loved it.
Yeah, it’s kind of boring, eh?
No, I thought it was excellent.
Oh, okay.
Rest in peace, Kevin Conroy, by the way.
Yes.
Voice of Batman.
Yeah.
Very recently.
He seemed like a really good dude.
Wonderfully talented guy.
And what a voice.
I mean, he had that like, I’m Batman voice, you know, it’s just like so iconic.
You just hear it and you’re like, that’s Batman.
It’s gotta be.
He’s like, I’m Batman.
I used to rush home from school so I could catch the beginning of the Batman animated
show.
Just because it was so like, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah,
dah.
It was fucking Danny Elfman’s score, man.
Was it really?
Yeah.
Wow.
That figures.
Kidnapping a Pixar mom.
Huh.
So they did.
Yo, what that ass do, doe?
What a cute bomb.
I think it’s the Joker.
It’s gotta be.
Oh, did she die?
Wow.
Did it explode?
Was that the implication?
I think it was.
Oh my God.
This game starts with violence.
Oh, that guy died.
Are we getting vengeance?
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
Are we getting vengeance for the Pixar mom?
I guess so.
Well, you loved her.
He’s like, dead ass doe.
Sounds like someone’s dead.
I must avenge it.
Wow, that’s pretty dark.
Do you think his cape gets stuck on those gargoyles?
I do.
Do you think his butt cheeks get chafey and tight all the time?
Oh yeah.
No question.
I honestly, if you told me that it didn’t, I’d be surprised.
And offended.
Yeah.
Hey, I look different now.
It’s terrible on the news.
Let’s turn the brightness way up.
I won’t be able to see the man of bat.
Alright, so here we are in the world of Batman.
Ooh, look at this.
Are there, wow.
You can just kind of like morph into a puddle of bat.
And I can punch.
And I think I can, whoops.
Oh, the bat communicator’s unavailable.
The bat communicator’s unavailable, yeah.
Wait, I thought I said the Batman communicator’s unavailable.
That would be, there would be no point to that.
But I was, hold on.
Because you are Batman.
No.
What?
I was playing this to see if it worked before we started recording Game Grumps.
And when I pressed that button, it said Batman communicator.
Oh my god.
Did I get an instant Mandela effect in my life?
I think you must have.
What did you remember?
Because you were excited to mention it.
I remember saying it out loud.
I was like, why does it say Batman communicator?
That’s really strange.
Well, the simplest answer is usually correct.
And in this case, the simplest answer is that you hallucinated that shit.
Yeah, I guess so.
Hey, remember in the show when Batman jumped on a bunch of boxes?
That was my favorite part.
Dude.
Iconic.
The absolute balls on the writers.
I don’t know.
Speaking of Mandela effect, I don’t know if I actually saw this in the trailer of Deadly
Night with Detective Hopper from Stranger Things where he’s Santa.
Or if it’s just a funny thing that I thought of.
But I have this image in my head of a Santa style horror movie where the people who are
gonna get murdered, they’re like, he knows if you’re sleeping.
He knows when you’re awake.
They’re just like, he knows, he fucking knows.
But they’re talking about Santa.
I don’t know.
Maybe it was.
I haven’t seen the trailer for that.
Oh, it’s good.
It looks pretty silly.
It does.
Got good reviews.
Did it?
Uh-huh.
Oh my God.
I thought she had tape over her mouth.
I guess I took it off.
I am capable of that.
I am Batman after all.
I don’t believe you have that type of strength.
What does this say?
I thought the bomb went off.
C4.
I guess not.
What’s a C4?
Little joke I make.
Anyway, we should go.
This is like a countdown detonator or something.
Pretty cool.
It feels like you should go somewhere else.
Oh, sorry.
I just thought it would be cool to explore my surroundings.
The credits are like, we have to tell you about Sebastian Villareal.
He runs like a wiener.
He’s so kind of wiener-y about the way he runs.
Am I making that up?
What?
He looks like he runs like a wiener.
I don’t know.
There’s something wiener-y about the way he runs.
I feel like it’s pretty similar to how I run.
No, you run like a person.
He runs like a wiener.
Maybe it’s because he has those tiny little Bruce Timm’s toothpick legs.
He’s got that fucking Dorito shape.
Oh.
Hell yeah.
He’s in some mad air.
Hey, man.
Sonic Adventure did it right.
Why didn’t he break out his fat snowboard?
Right?
Perfect for this occasion.
I feel like, dude, am I hallucinating that?
Didn’t he have like a thing where he was like, like, folded out, like an airboard or something?
I can’t remember.
He’s had so many gadgets.
What am I thinking of?
Some cartoon where some character has like a board that folds out.
It’s like a croissant.
And then they fly around on it.
What the fuck is that?
Oh, it’s the Joker.
Ooh, he’s freaky looking in this.
Yeah, what the hell?
That’s not what he looked like in the Bruce Timm cartoon.
He never looks the same twice.
In any episode.
In anything.
He just drops her.
Sorry.
I guess I’m gonna be.
Well I guess you won’t be needing this anymore.
Oh, Mary Flinnage.
Press the Y button when you’re a flashing object to pick it up.
All day long you’ll have good luck.
It’s Markimoo.
Is it?
Yeah.
Cool.
I mean, it sounds like him.
I mean, fuck, I’d do the voice for a video game if there was money in it.
Huh.
You’re a true artist, Arin.
I mean, fucking Mark Hamill’s probably got a nice house, he wants to pay the mortgage
off.
I understand.
Gotta pay those bills, man.
Yeah, chances are he didn’t get paid very well for Star Wars.
Well, who knows?
There was only three of them.
The first one probably wasn’t paid anything.
The three biggest blockbusters of all time.
Yeah, but the second one he was probably like, well, the first one was pretty good, we should
renegotiate.
And they’re like, okay.
And they give him a little bit more.
And then the third one, they’re like, well, this is the last one and we don’t know how
well it’s gonna do.
He has the rights to use his face.
Okay, fair enough.
Oh, he’s actually talking.
Why is it so fucking quiet?
Run a profile on this woman.
See if it’s complicated.
Do some miniature golfing.
What, is Batgirl just like his 16-year-old daughter who’s like, I don’t know how to use
computers?
I can’t remember what Batgirl’s relationship- Batgirl is Gordon’s daughter.
Is that right?
Yeah.
Wow.
Wow, you got quite a- you get a fucking halo on this?
And does Commissioner Gordon know that Batman is Bruce Wayne?
No.
Wow.
And does he know that Batgirl is his daughter?
I don’t think so.
Wow, so he’s just fucking surrounded by Bat people and he has no idea about it?
I wish I knew who any one of these Bat people were.
God, they feel familiar.
What the fuck now?
I guess I go down here?
While Batgirl’s running Prince or whatever?
Oh, this is my Bat bathroom.
Speaking of Prince, his music was all over that 1989 Batman movie.
Really?
Oh yeah.
I hope you’re managing to scrape by despite my absence.
What is that, Alfred Tron 9000?
I’m a computer now.
Just live with it.
We’ll begin with a bit of Batgrapple training.
Ooh.
You’ll be so kind as to activate the grapple.
I will activate the grapple, yes.
Grapple is a hilarious word.
It is.
Grapple.
Grapple.
Grapple.
It’d only be funnier if it was Grappus.
That would be like the ultimate.
Grapple, can I use the grapple?
Not till you’re older.
No.
That’s the Grandpa Grapple.
From the grapple icon next to your health bar blinks, it means you’re able to grapple.
To activate grapple, enter first person mode by pressing and holding R button.
Okay.
When the game is paused, you can move the control pad or control stick left to right
to cycle through your gadgets, while in first person mode, you can also change gadgets on
the fly without pausing the game.
Hmm.
Interesting.
Ooh.
I don’t want a Batarang.
Wait.
Batarang?
Lek Batarang.
Batarang?
Lek Batarang.
Oh, Elek Batarang.
Oh, got it.
I have so much shit.
Yeah.
The Begrapple.
Once the Grapple is aimed at a suitable target, the crosshairs turn red and you may fire at
your leisure.
Of course, you’re still free to move about while the Grapple is activated.
What the hell are you talking about, Alfred?
Why would I want to shoot my ledger?
Grapple will automatically release.
Ooh.
I’d strongly suggest receiving your equipment from the higher platforms before we go.
We continue with training.
Okay.
Uh.
You look stressed.
Perhaps you should tear off a quick nut.
Oh, hold on.
I got to fucking change this.
I saw that you can invert the camera and I’m all over that shit.
Okay.
Whoops.
Options.
Sound.
Invert crosshair.
Off.
Thank you, Christ.
Nice.
Oh, that’s so much better.
Now when you press up, it looks up?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That is better.
All right.
Hey, that’s cool.
I’ve done it.
Ah.
You’ve uncovered some bat cuffs.
Well done.
Thank you.
How did those get there?
Whoa.
You’re going to avoid a fight altogether by sneaking up behind an adversary with a-
I hope you don’t find the bat cat of Ninetales.
Don’t mind that it smells like Old Spice.
I’m sure he won’t come back to pester you.
Okay.
I didn’t hear a word he said.
He was saying if you knock someone out and use the bat cuffs on them, they won’t get
up and attack a second time.
Ah.
Well, well, well.
Can I bat grapple over there?
Did they want me to do other shit or should I leave?
He was just saying words, right?
It was just the tutorial, man.
Because there was something up there, wasn’t there?
Oh, yes, there was something up there.
Okay, check this out.
Check this out.
Watch this.
Watch this.
Bat grapple.
Bat grapple.
Yep.
And then there’s fucking shit over here, dog.
Whoa.
What’s that?
Nice.
Oh, sorry.
Uh.
Use your batarangs.
Very good, sir.
Thank you.
You may want to use your cape for the return to ground level.
By stretching it taut, you can glide quite a distance.
Ooh.
Mm.
Stretch it taut.
Ah.
Now sit on this.
Now it’s time to die.
With enough precision to knock a weapon from a man’s hand, you’ll need to take careful
aim.
Oh.
With a little practice, you can strafe around your target without losing your aim.
Sure.
Once you have your target in your sights, the crosshairs turn red.
Okay.
You can.
Uh.
What the fuck?
Oh, I can move with the d-pad?
Why would I do something like that?
That’s silly.
Uh.
Batarang.
I love it.
Um.
It dings.
It’s like a dunking tank.
Very underwhelming, isn’t it, Master Bruce?
Yes, over.
Of course, you have a wide variety of the martial arts at your disposal.
Perhaps you could practice- The ancient art of karate?
You may find some of your opponents a smidgen more clever than a man’s.
A healthy defense will make you- I don’t know about that Alfred, I don’t know.
There are few men in the world as skilled in this wide variety of martial arts- You’re
so cool and handsome, you’re amazing.
You’re like Steven Seagal, but even hotter.
Boy, anyone would be lucky to have you as a partner.
I mean friend.
Oops, oops, oops, oops.
What am I supposed to do here?
Oh.
Oh, oh.
Wow.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Alfred, you’re saying the guys I’m gonna be fighting are tougher than this metal post?
This thing is breaking both of my hands.
You’re so amazing.
You’ve probably worked up quite a sweat.
Better hit the showers.
Like the camera comes down and goes right into space.
Go on.
Of course, I don’t know where you are.
I always know where you are.
Ooh.
How does he- isn’t he just the butler?
Yeah, right.
How does he know all this?
I don’t know, it’s a video game.
Jesus Christ.
Try not to get your head chopped off.
Here we go.
Oh, the walls are closing in too.
Oops.
Was it this way?
Oh, fuck.
You push against the wall and press the Y button.
Okay.
That’ll allow you to sneak around the laser.
Sneak around the laser.
Whoops.
Terribly sorry, sir, but the object of the exercise is to avoid detection.
I’m afraid you’ll have to begin again.
Oh, shut the fuck up.
All the way back here?
Whoops.
Terribly sorry, sir, looks like you fucked up again.
You dumbass.
I like that sound.
Yeah.
You’ll never find me.
Not while I’m doing this slightly to the right.
Sounds like a 70 prog rock, you know?
Like it’s like a- Yeah, like you’re about to launch into a 20-minute song about elves.
Yes.
It’s like the intro.
Um, this?
Very good.
Terribly sorry, sir, that was the button of everyone knows you’re here now.
That was the loud Batman alarm.
Use your cape to slow or speed your fall as necessary.
Whoops.
Trust the grapple.
Love the grapple.
Touch the grapple.
The grapple is life.
The grapple is love.
Whoops.
No one will find me here.
That’s right, nobody will find me here.
That’s right, nobody will find me here.
Oh, shit.
Whoa.
Oh, sir.
What’s the deep- why button to dive faster?
All right.
Terribly sorry, sir, but you have five seconds to live.
I’m a missile.
I caught a baby.
Swinging with a baby.
No, the baby’s mine.
Baby, I’m gonna eat the baby.
Wonderful, sir.
That completes our training.
Please deposit the baby in the receptacle.
You never cease to amaze.
I pity the criminal who comes between you and justice.
Is he just now learning to be Batman?
Always find Batgirl dutifully answering her communicator.
Okay.
She never gets any action out there, which is fine.
I guess it’s all about you these days.
Look harder.
Why do we dress like bats?
I don’t know, that’s kind of your thing.
Yeah.
I just figured, I don’t know.
You looked like you knew what you were doing.
I don’t know what I’m doing.
You know what you’re doing.
No.
This is so embarrassing.
It’s kind of one of those situations where we each kind of thought the other one knew
what he was doing, but now we’re just dressed like bats.
Well, I don’t mind doing it if you don’t mind doing it.
I mean, we’ve already bought the outfits.
Yeah, I figured it’s bulletproof and everything.
It’s like whatever, right?
Oh, pink.
I’m glad we have the pink bar to remind us of the color pink.
I can’t believe they both dress like bats.
It’s Harley Quinn.
Hey, sugar.
Play a while, duda.
Mr. J.
I guarantee I’ll make you smile.
Oh, the duda day.
Your singing voice is beautiful.
Not now, Pooh.
My audience awaits.
I love Harley Quinn.
Do you?
Yeah, she’s adorable.
I mean, she’s psychotic.
Well, yeah, but I mean like Tara Strong’s Harley Quinn is just so cute.
I love Tara Strong.
Um, why are we dressed like mimes?
I mean, the-
A couple of guys and I were thinking that since we’re fighting the bat and all that,
maybe we’re not getting paid as much as we should.
Maybe we don’t have to dress like mimes.
When he’s waiting for the penguin, we will get him better.
The music’s getting kind of loud, don’t you think?
Well, now you’re working for Mr. J, you chatterhead.
He’ll do what he says and take what he gives and hope it is not a bullet.
That’s a pretty good little, kind of musical.
Phoebe, you’re the best.
Hopefully not a bullet.
There’s got to be a name for that, right?
Like that kind of like cadence?
I don’t know.
Right, like the Minsky pickup or whatever?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ooh, there’s lightning.
Why am I here now?
I don’t know.
Ah, ah!
Mimes!
Ooh, ah, ooh!
And stay quiet!
Yeah, he really came at me with some voice shit.
Yeah, with some strong non-mimey action.
Press the Y button.
Oh, I can handle them.
I thought it said press they button.
Press they button.
He always carrying they thang on them.
All right.
Geez.
Wow, he took that ladder like a fucking champ.
Alfred, teach me how to climb ladders.
Terribly sorry, Master Bruce.
Oh, I get right, I have the grapple machine that’s doing that thing.
I exclusively take elevators.
Uh, free look, bad grapple.
Man, is being Batman just like always this like clunky?
Batman’s like, I got all this shit on my belt.
Yeah, I don’t know why.
Oh, fuck.
This would probably be a lot easier if I wasn’t dressed like a giant bat.
Why do I do this?
I’m not really dressed like a bat so much as I just have like bat ears.
Yeah, seems weird.
This cape, it just doesn’t make any sense.
It’s really cumbersome for my movement.
Why do you dress like a bat?
I was scared of bats for once.
Oh.
Not anymore though.
No, now I’m fine.
But it’s a symbol of matters.
Okay.
Why don’t you just wear a t-shirt or something?
Nah.
Probably just wear the bat costume.
Oh, this is incredible.
Oh my god.
Pixar mom number two.
This looks like a job meant for a guy dressed like a bat.
That’s me.
I’m the Batman.
Does anyone really question this anymore?
Alright, background ball.
There’s just a little background ball.
I’m coming.
Excuse me.
Ooh, ow.
So is Batman bulletproof?
This one’s got a cute little hat.
Sorry.
Oh, here you go.
You’re all locked up.
Yeah.
For somebody to find you.
Now you’re handcuffed and dead.
I hope nobody finds you in this position. That’d be crazy.
Shit.
Terribly sorry, sir. The door is locked.
Oh no, Alfred.
Where the fuck am I going now?
I don’t know.
It’s okay, grapple.
Yep.
Where?
Oh, it’s like pointing to where it is.
Yeah, I was just looking around.
Oh shit, there it is.
Boy, they really made this look like the show, but like in all the weird ways, like the red sky and everything.
Yeah.
Nope, okay.
Black, white, and red is cool.
It reminds me of, did you ever read Grendel, the comic book?
Grendel?
Grendel.
I mean, it has a million different forms, but the early stuff is all in black, white, and red.
Cool.
Yeah, it is cool.
It’s very-
Does it have a lot of blood?
Stylish, yes it does.
I’m assuming that’s why the red is there.
It helps.
So you make sure, so that you know it’s not cum?
Yeah, I’m sure that’s what they were going for, Arin.
Because they drew the comic?
They’re afraid that after Grendel stabs someone with his electric fork weapon, that cum would explode out of them.
Well, yeah, I mean, because they showed it to somebody and they were like, what do you think?
And he’s like, is there cum coming out of them?
No, that’s blood.
All right, final add red.
She probably adds some red because it looks like cum to me.
Yeah.
What do you think, Larry?
That’s definitely cum.
See, two people think it’s cum.
Larry doesn’t even work here.
Whoops, I don’t think I was supposed to go down here.
No, you’re fine.
See?
Straight into traffic.
Game over.
The Joker’s men have Mary, and the mystery remains unsolved.
And also you’re a bat smear on the pavement of Fifth Avenue.
Oh, the Joker’s men have Mary, comma, and the mystery remains unsolved.
Oh, did you think the Joker’s men have Mary and the mystery?
Yes.
And then I was like, what the fuck does this sentence mean?
Yeah.
Commas are important.
I didn’t know her name was Mary.
Did they say that ever?
Maybe they did.
Who’s Mary?
I don’t know.
I mean, I assume the Pixar mom that he is.
Right.
But like, who is she to Batman?
Who is she to Batman?
Well, I mean, that’s a given.
With that fucking, with that Pixar butt, though.
You gotta cuff that dude.
I don’t care.
What’s he gonna do, fucking wake up?
Yeah.
I’m on another rooftop now.
Ow.
Fucking shoot me.
My cute little hat.
Do I get like more points if I can cuff them?
I think so.
I don’t know.
Who’s playing fucking jazz over there?
Did you hear that shit?
I couldn’t hear.
Somebody was talking over it.
Sorry, sorry.
I’m just kidding.
I’m so sorry.
God, I’m so sorry.
Ruining my jazz concert.
I’m so sorry.
Huh.
Under the rooftop.
Alright.
Now to punch this guy.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Oh shit, he punched back?
Yeah.
What happened?
I don’t know, boss.
There was a guy.
He was dressed like a bat and he beat me up.
Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on.
What was that?
What was that thing about the, he was dressed as a bat?
Yeah.
Listen, I’m as embarrassed as you are.
But not like, not like really though, like.
He looked like, I don’t know, like mid 90s WWE.
Huh.
Like it was a gimmick, definitely a gimmick, but there was still like attitude to it.
Yeah, he really beat the shit out of me.
Interesting.
Papa Dan.
Do you, do you have pics?
No.
No, I beat the shit out of me.
Right.
He took my cam cam.
He smeared my mind makeup.
Cut me up all over my body.
And what of your Microsoft dinosaur CDs?
I don’t even want to talk about it.
Broken into pieces.
Nice, dude.
Excellent.
Got those pringles.
What did he say?
I don’t know.
Wow, this back grapple goes far.
Damn, dude.
Oh my God, stop running away.
Moving the C stick left to right, the camel will return to its default behind the back
position.
The patented old behind the back position.
Classic.
Uh, okay, I see.
Great.
I forgot what the buttons were.
There we go.
It feels like this game has a lot of like empty stuff.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
I, this looks like a, like a tech demo for a little bit, right?
Like, like, so this is the idea we have.
Yeah.
Like it’s a man.
You cannot wait when it’s finished.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He like showed it to the boss and they’re like, he’s like, great.
Awesome.
So how much time do you have left on it?
Like maybe a year?
Yeah, it shipped last week.
Oh, well in that case you’re fired.
What?
You mean like, like it shipped to like the, the testers or no, no, no.
It’s in homes.
Like, like homes homes?
Yeah, like people’s homes.
Oops.
Or like you’re my homie homes.
No, that’s homes.
IGN reviewed it.
They gave it a four.
The Jugglers Men have Mary and the Mystery.
I’m the mystery.
Oh my God.
Whoa.
Whoops.
Well, there you go.
Aaron, the Jugglers Men, you’re going to have Mary and the Mystery.
There’s something very like whimsical about Mary and the Mystery.
I know.
It’s like the, whoops.
It’s Mary, if you will.
It’s like a Broadway show.
Or like, um.
I took the lady to see Mary and the Mystery yesterday.
Like a sixties flower power band.
Yeah.
We are Mary and the Mystery.
Vegetable rights and peace.
Vegetable rights.
Yeah.
It’s Neil from the Young Ones.
I love him.
Remind me of who Neil from the Young Ones is.
The Young Ones is that show, early eighties British comedy.
I’ve talked about it many times.
There was like the punk, the hippie, the mod, and the, um, uh, I don’t even know what you’d call it.
Like the new wave guy.
And, uh, they’re all living together in a house and it’s about their wacky misadventures.
It was the first, um, show that kind of had like, like that weird Tim and Eric energy that I know of.
But like 40 years ago.
But it had like that fourth wall breaking kind of thing where occasionally like one of them would just talk to the audience or explode through a wall for no reason.
It was great.
I love that kind of shit.
Me too.
You gotta see it.
I’m sure there are a lot of people that-
What year did you say it was?
1982?
83 I would say?
Interesting.
Yeah.
I grew up watching it.
I mean, it might look very tame and weird to people now, but at the time it was very revolutionary.
Am I fucking dumb?
Like what am I doing here?
Hey, uh, are they handsome?
Excuse me?
Do you think they’ll want to kiss?
What was that sound?
What was what sound?
Is that him like marking his territory?
No, he’s putting like the kiss spray.
Oh, got it.
Oh, like Benaka?
Yeah, it’s like I’m about to kiss a girl.
You know?
Yeah.
Got it.
Benaka?
Is that what it’s called?
I think that’s what it was called, right?
Really?
I don’t know.
It’s been a long time since breath spray was on my mind.
Yeah, I don’t give a shit about having terrible breath anymore.
I’ll just brush my teeth one more time a day.
How many times do you brush?
Uh, twice.
Yeah, that’s a normal amount.
Three if there’s a show.
If I’m going on stage, I like to have my teeth brushed.
Otherwise, it just feels weird and grungy otherwise.
Yeah, because they can really smell you from way the fuck down there.
I agree, it’s totally psychological, but it just makes me feel fresher for the show.
Whatever makes you fucking ready to do the show, it doesn’t matter, man.
Absolutely.
You fucking live your truth, brother.
Yep, my truth also includes Colombian heroin.
Okay, I’m not so much in support of that truth.
I’m sorry, I thought we were talking about my truth.
Well, it can still be your truth.
I just, I don’t personally endorse it.
I don’t think it’s a good idea.
For you.
Yeah, well that’s your truth.
Your truth says I shouldn’t be doing heroin.
And my truth is I hate you.
And my truth is shut up.
I don’t know what’s next for Batman.
After twelve movies and eighteen video games?
Man, I kind of feel like this guy dressed up as a giant bat.
I don’t know where there is to go from here.
Where’s the next?
Where’s the next?
Down here?
It’s definitely not down here.
Whoops.
This is where you fall in Joker’s Man and get Mary in the Mystery.
Fucking Mary in the Mystery!
It’s such a great sequel to Mary and the Solved.
Shit.
Oh fuck!
I did it the first time and now I can’t do it ever since.
I just like, it was a fluke.
Didn’t you sneak along the side?
Yeah, they want me to sidle.
But I don’t want to fucking do that.
It takes forever.
Sidle.
There you go.
Look at his wiggly little toes.
Those are my sidlin’ toes.
I mean, let’s be real.
Batman’s fucking silly.
It is weird.
He’s straight up wearing, like, pajama tights.
Like, I don’t know.
I’m sure that joke slash observation has been made before.
But, like, god damn.
He’s a fucking silly man.
The whole thing is a little wild.
How does he strike fear into anyone’s hearts?
Well, I mean, just because it’s crazy in theory.
There’s a lot of crazy people who can come up to you on the street in the city and you’d
be freaked out by them.
Whoops.
Oh, I can do a jump kick.
That’s cool.
That is cool.
Also, I’m dying.
Yeah.
Use your fuck move.
Fuck!
When you were watching the Batman movie, did, uh, what the fuck was I gonna say?
Was there a scene where, like, when Batman first shows up, they’re like, what are you?
Dressed as a bat?
Like, they’re kind of laughing at him?
Or was it immediately scary?
I can’t remember.
No, no, no.
He-
Because he, like, comes from the shadows, right?
Yeah.
It’s already established at the beginning that, like, there’s a masked vigilante going
around town fucking shit up, so the first low-level thugs that run into him are already
freaked out.
God, what must it have been like to, like, because before that it was just the Adam West
show, right?
Yes.
Well, that’s the thing.
Like, you say-
Okay, I gotta go over there.
You say the 1989 Batman, you feel it’s dull, it, I can, I can assure you that at the time,
it was, uh, shockingly, um, jam-packed with, with a- people have just never seen a Batman
that dark before.
Right.
I like the second one.
Batman Returns?
Yeah, it’s when they were just like, well, Tim Burton, you did it.
You made us a zillion dollars.
Just do whatever you want for the second one.
Yeah.
And he’s like, you got it.
Yup.
And he made fucking-
It’s gonna get weird.
You made everything, like, super campy goth.
There’s, like, a weird fucking rubber ducky boat and shit, and it’s like, what the hell
is happening?
Yeah, it is weird.
I have to say, well, because it is a, it is a mixture.
Joker has that too in the 89 Batman.
Um, there’s, there’s still remnants of that cartoonishness from the previous Batmans.
Yeah.
Um.
Christopher Walken comes out and he’s like, uh, I’m, I’m, I’m doing something.
I’m Batman.
And then Batman’s like, shut up, you’re going to jail.
Like, punches him in the face.
Can’t remember.
That’s in the second one, which I haven’t seen in a very long time.
Oh, it’s so, it’s, it’s just like it’s a feast for the eyes, you know?
Mm.
It’s like classic Tim, Tim Burton.
Oh, please, oh, please.
Nicely done.
Ooh, when I made it, there was a musical sting.
Wheee.
All right, all right, Mary, where are you at?
Mary and the Mysteries.
What the fuck is the disc?
Is it saving?
I don’t know.
Maybe that’s Mary and the Mysteries’ first album.
Grab it before it’s gone.
Oh, it went platinum.
Fuck.
It’s rated number nine in Belgium.
What?
Oh, here we go.
Last time.
Nice.
Or not.
He’s like, well, I can’t break the law.
Oh, man.
This isn’t what you think, Batman.
It’s not what it looks like.
We’re actually having a really great time.
We’re role playing, Batman.
Man dressed as Bat.
There’s a block button, right?
Yeah, dude.
Oh, wow.
Get that little jab in.
Oh.
My god.
That’s what happens whenever I box, whenever I throw, like, a right hook, I go, haaa.
Oh.
Hello.
Oh, I should probably lock him up there.
Did he just say fuck?
You’re safe now.
She’s, like, completely dead.
Oh, my god, are you joking?
Oh, my god, he dressed as a bat.
I know.
I was trying to think of something different to do with him.
What kind of money do you have?
Here.
Take a batarang.
It’s five million dollars.
Yeah.
Please don’t lose it.
I was planning on reselling it as a retirement plan.
Reselling his money?
No, it’s his bat thing.
Oh, oh, yeah.
Hey, we did it.
Rooftop battle.
Good job, man.
Is this, is this just, like, a chapter of the game, or?
I believe so.
Is a girl to die for just, like, the subtitle of Batman Vengeance?
In this economy?
It’s a ransom.
What could it cost?
Five million dollars?
The transmitter you gave Mary last night, it’s coming from Gotham Bridge.
Right.
Are you going before my kiss?
Where are you going?
Nowhere.
To Gotham Bridge?
No.
That’s where you’re going, isn’t it?
Uh-uh.
You’re getting in the Batmobile, aren’t you?
Batmobile?
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
You’re talking to me over the radio now, aren’t you?
All I said.
Nope.
Over.
Radio out.
I guess this game is just a bunch of punching dudes.
I love it.
Like fucking, congratulations, whoa, my god, dude.
Yo, yo, yo, yo, chill out.
I wish all bullets were big, candy-like, and dodgeable.
Whoops.
They are dodgeable if you’re fast enough.
Oops.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
All right.
Looks like you fucking blew yourselves up, brothers.
Shut up, you’re going to jail.
How about that?
Shut up, you’re going to jail.
He runs like a wiener.
Like, come on.
How do you not see this?
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Look, he looks fucking weird.
He looks like a doofus.
He just looks like a guy who’s got places to go.
He looks like a doofus.
The way he runs is so silly.
I will not have my spandex wearing Cape Donning brethren talk to smack about.
Oh my god, dude.
Ooh, health.
All right, well.
This was fun.
Next time on Game Grumps, I guess.
Yeah, I enjoyed this.
It was just a little romp in the Batman world.
Yeah.
We saved a human life.
Yeah.
Made a couple Batman jokes.
Punched a lot of people.
Nice little Monday.
It’s just a fucking Monday, dude.
Just another Manic Monday.
I wish it was Sunday, because that’s my fun day.
See you later, everyone.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, man.
Fuck.
Three more like that, and I might be in trouble.
All right.
You didn’t find Mary or her son.
What?
Her son now?
Yeah.
Well, that’s what the mystery was.
Oh.
Was she the girl to die for?
I don’t know.
A lot of mysteries in that, man.
This game had five lines of plot, and we missed them all.
That’s so true.
All right.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Good job, Arin.
Yes, indeed.
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